Can we kindly stop making stuff like this?

Seriously, stop trying to make Christmas gansta. Christmas is not gansta. If Run-DMC couldn’t make the holiday season dope and def, than neither can you.

The attempts to try and make Christmas stuff cool and hip goes back decades, with songs like “Jingle Bell Rock” or “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, and those might have been considered ‘cool’ in your grandparents’ time, but nowadays they seem cornier than Iowa in summertime.

You just can’t make the whole holly-jolly thing cool.

It’s like trying to make Charlie Brown groovy, cool and fly; it can’t be done. The two sensibilities just cancel each other out, so stop it, advertisers and recording artists.

You think you look like this:

But to everyone else, you come off like this: