OK, so as you know, I’m a fan of the web series DC Super Hero Girls.

I’ve been watching the new episodes on YouTube, and every time, in the comments section, there will inevitably be the same questions being asked by viewers, many of which have left me a tad confused or confounded. Don’t ask me why I was reading the comments section on YouTube. There’s no logical reason for anyone to be doing that. In any event, if you don’t mind, there are a few things concerning this shows’ fanbase that I’d like to get off of my chest.

“Ya better stand back, ’cause Ah’m about ta unload!”

“Where is the Joker? Joker is why Harley is Harley! You can’t have Harley Quinn without her puddin’. Why not have Joker be at the school causing trouble for Super Hero High?”

That wouldn’t work for a couple of reasons; First, DC Super Hero Girls takes place in an alternate universe, so Harley Quinn doesn’t need to be driven insane by the Joker here. She’s already crazy! Second, the entire point of DCSHG is girl empowerment. That girls can do or be whatever they want to be or do and they don’t need no man! Therefore, you can’t have the Joker suddenly show up and turn Harley into his doormat because that would be the opposite of girl empowerment! If you’re trying to teach young girls to be smart, independent and capable, then putting one of them in an abusive relationship with a psychotic clown isn’t going to do that.

With all due respect, please spare me the “Sweet Valley High” shipper nonsense. The Joker’s relationship with Harley can be summed up in two sentences:

1. Harley loves the Joker.
2. Joker doesn’t give a crap about Harley.

He only uses her as a tool when she suits his own purposes. Joker only cares about himself and the punch line. Period. Furthermore, as cool a villain as the Joker is, we don’t need him here chewing up the scenery. This is supposed to be the girls’ show, the shows’ focus should be kept on them.

Speaking of…

“Why are Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy heroes in this? They’re bad guys!”

Once more; Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy were indeed villains originally, but they’re also fan favorite characters, so both of them became good (or at least neutral) in response to their popularity, like with many heel wrestlers. It happened with The Undertaker, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock and John Cena, and now it’s happening here. Come on, guys, were in the middle of season two, you should be up to speed by now.

“I do wonder where Superman is. Wonder Woman is actually older than Superman, and yet he is a graduate and Supergirl is here….. oh well, they had to make it DC superhero GIRLS because reasons.”

Once more, the reason why this series is DC Super Hero GIRLS is because there are already plenty of super hero shows and toys geared towards boys. The whole point of DCSHG is to get GIRLS interested in super heroes. As for any discrepancies between this and the comics, I have two words: one is ‘alternate’ and the other is ‘universe’.

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“The reason Young Justice was canceled was because so many girls were watching it. If people want girls into superheroes, don’t cancel the superhero shows girls like.”

No, that’s the reason why Tower Prep was canceled. Young Justice was canceled because the shows’ ratings were low and kids weren’t buying the YJ toys, to the point where Mattel (the company that produced the YJ toy line) withdrew it’s support for the show, and when that happens, the shows’ gotta go. Anyway, DC Super Hero Girls is clearly targeting a younger audience than Young Justice, so it’s not like the former was meant to replace the latter. Using DC Super Hero Girls as a platform to whine and complain about Young Justice getting canceled is petty and ridiculous since the 2 shows have virtually nothing in common with one another other than both of them being based on the DC universe.  If you want Young Justice to come back, then try to do something about it instead of just bitching about it in the comments section for DCSHG. If you don’t like DCSHG, then what are you doing here? Nobody likes a Buzz Killington. Honestly, I like DCSHG more than YJ. It’s more fun, the plots are simpler, there are fewer characters and plots to keep track of and there aren’t any lame time skips are teen soap opera drama BS.

“Why do they look like Barbie dolls?”

Because the characters are designed to promote a line of dolls. Duh! Girls like to dress up dolls in pretty clothes, therefore it’s a no-brainer that DC would want the characters to resemble fashion dolls. This is basically Monster High, only with capes instead of ghouls. And like MH, the DC Super Hero Girls doll line is produced by Mattel, the makers of Barbie, so similarities to Barbie are inevitable.

“Wonder Women should be a techer!”

OK, First, “Wonder WomEn”?? I didn’t realize there was more than one. Second, yeah, that would sell a million dolls. I can totally see girls flocking to toy stores clamoring for that cool teacher character! BTW Sporto, there’s an ‘a’ in ‘teacher’. Maybe you should enroll back in school and find yourself one.

“If Wonder Woman is the main character here, then Superman and Batman should be her guy buddies and the show should focus on the Trinity!”

Dude, seriously?

As much as I like the DC Trinity, there’s a very important reason why that wouldn’t happen, and that is because SuperMAN and BatMAN aren’t girls! why would DC Super Hero GIRLS focus on the Trinity when two thirds of the Trinity are male? What’s the last word in this shows’ title? There ya go.

“I do not like how Wonder Woman is a bubbly teenager here. They should’ve gone with Wonder Girl. I see Wonder Woman as a fellow warrior fighting alongside Superman, but now that she’s a teenybopper in this series, she can’t.”

We’ve covered the Wonder Girl thing already: yeah, they could’ve went with Wonder Girl, but Diana would sell more dolls. And sure, as a fellow superhero enthusiast I do see your point, but on the other hand, I don’t see why any of that even matters when Superman isn’t an on-screen character in this. It’s a web series based on a line of fashion dolls aimed at young girls. It’s not like you’re ever going to see Supes fighting alongside of Wondy here, so what difference does that make? It’s best to just think of DCSHG taking place in its’ own separate reality with its’ own set of rules and not overthink it.

“This show needs to get dark! Where is Batman? Darkseid needs to show up and destroy the school so that the cast can spend the rest of the season fighting him and trying desperately to rebuild and being depressed and moody about it! That would be awesome!’

Way to completely miss the point the flippin’ show, dumb nuts! It’s for kids! It’s designed to sell dolls to young girls! It’s not supposed to be a dark, violent angst fest! You have the direct to video movies for that! We already covered this back on One To Grow Up On; instead of demanding that this kids’ cartoon “grow up”, maybe you should grow up and watch something that’s actually made for you!

I get so sick of the whole “characters who don’t cry or suffer = bland” complaint. Emotion and poignancy can do a lot of good, but piling on cheap tragedies one after the other is an empty way of compensating for proper character development. I find it’s common in teen media to mistake angst for depth. It’s like if you’re depressed all the time, you must have deep thoughts about the world. It’s what we call Emo disease.

“When Paul Dini said he wanted to make a Wonder Woman animated series, this isn’t what he had in mind!”

Two things about that: 1) Paul Dini’s not involved in this, and 2) this isn’t a Wonder Woman animated series. Yeah, Wonder Woman’s the lead character, but it’s not her show per se, any more than My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a Twilight Sparkle animated series. Check the title: the show isn’t called Wonder Woman, it’s called DC Super Hero Girls. Wondy’s the anchor, but the show isn’t a direct depiction of her universe, her co-stars, her rogues’ gallery and her adventures. It’s a mash-up of multiple DC franchises with Wonder Woman acting as the show’s anchor/audience avatar. It’s basically DC’s Super Hero Squad, with Wonder Woman in Iron Man’s role, or DC’s Monster High with Wondy as Frankie Stein.

“Super Boy can cure Miss Martian of her fear of shyness!” #BringBackYoungJustice!”

“DUDE! In that episode where Batgirl was learnin’ to fly the Batjet, they totally shoulda got Batman to teach her! That woulda ruled!!”

“Or I could teach her!”

“Whoa, Mama! Since Starfire’s in this, anybody know if Blackfire appeared in any episodes of this show? (I could easily watch the eps or check for myself, but my hands are too sweaty!) Blackfire is HOT!!”

Seriously, what part of “Alternate Universe” do you guys not understand? DC Super Hero Girls is not, repeat, not, connected to any other DC show, past or present! Regarding point #1: A) It’s SUPERBOY, not Super Boy, 2 words, not 1, B) There’s no such thing as “fear of shyness”; one either is shy or they aren’t, and C) Kill that noise! This isn’t Young Justice and it’s not going to magically transform into Young Justice. This isn’t the same take on Miss Martian and there’s not going to be any of that shipper nonsense here. YJ is done. Deal with it. Just let DCSHG be DCSHG already.

Regarding point #2: This isn’t Batman: The Animated Series or The Batman, and I wish folks would stop trying to make it that. Yeah, that would really demonstrate the idea of Girl Empowerment: when things get tough, call in some guy to bail you out! And to the other guy, just no, dude. Don’t do that. No role play accounts. That’s just sad.

Regarding point #3: This isn’t frelling Teen Titans! (Though I’d be OK with Robin and Raven turning up somewhere, perhaps as Easter Eggs.) There’s no reason to expect Blackfire to turn up in this, especially since Starfire isn’t even a main character in this. Anyway, Blackfire’s not that great a character. Way to think with your Johnson.

I’m about to give an unpopular opinion here: I neither need nor want for Superman or Batman to ever appear on DC Super Hero Girls. Don’t get me wrong. They’re both great characters, but having them turn up as flesh and blood characters on DCSHG would be a mistake that would work against what this series is setting out to accomplish. If the Dark Knight and Big Blue could just be supporting characters who showed up from time to time like the other boy characters, that would be one thing, but the fact of the matter is that they’re just too big and iconic for that. Supes and Bats don’t do supporting roles. The moment that either Superman or Batman would show up, the shows’ focus would suddenly shift and it would now be all about them. This is particularly true in the case of Batman. All DC has been giving us lately is stuff about or relating to Batman. That’s one thing I like about this show; we get to focus on some DC characters who AREN’T  Batman for a change.

For those who want to see Superman and/or Batman, there’s DC Super Friends. there’s Batman Unlimited, and eventually, there will be Justice League Action when that series debuts on Cartoon Network. Therefore, there’s no need for Supes or Bats to show up on DC Super Hero Girls. Accept the series for what it is or don’t deal with it at all. If you want DCSHG to be something other than what it is, there’s always fan fiction. Get to writing!