One Thing I Don’t Like about “Jellystone!”

I don’t like this show’s take on The Banana Splits. I, like many, I presume, was initially stoked when I found out that The Banana Splits were going to be characters on Jellystone!, but unfortunately, their portrayal here leaves something to be desired.

Fleagle doesn’t have his signature lisp. Drooper doesn’t speak with his signature southern drawl (which was based on that of Monkee’s member Mike Nesmith, btw). And most importantly, The Banana Splits are NOT villains! The Jellystone! characters neither sound nor act anything like the Banana Splits that we know and love. These are just 4 guys who look like The Banana Splits.

These are the real Banana Splits; goofy, fun-loving musicians who sing, dance, tell corny jokes and fall down a lot. That’s how the Splits should have been portrayed on Jellystone. The portrayal of the Splits is one of the few blemishes on an otherwise OK show.

And why would C.H. Greenblatt and his team make The Banana Splits antagonists on a Hanna-Barbera love letter series when Dick Dastardly and Muttley are right there?

Looks like I’ll have to wait a little longer for the triumphant return of the Ant Hill Mob.

Player Two Start!/That’s Warner Brothers! – Characters We’d Like To See in Multiversus

Howdy, folks.

Unless you’ve been living in a remote log cabin in the woods somewhere, you’ve undoubtedly heard about Warner Bros. new video fighting game Multiversus.

Prepare to get knocked the toon out!

The game is still early, but the first character roster has been revealed, and we think that the lineup is pretty good.

However, we feel that this lineup is, shall we say, a tad incomplete. The official Multiversus website says that more characters will be revealed soon, but in the meantime, we’d like to list some of the characters that we would add to the Multiversus roster. Let’s go, man, go!

LOONEY TUNES

So far, we’ve got Bugs Bunny and Taz, which is great, but there needs to be more. There are too many awesome Looney Tunes characters for there to only be 2 in this game.

Multiversus needs to have Daffy Duck. It just does. Daffy is wacky and nutty, and his moves would be erratic and unpredictable. This isn’t up for debate. Daffy is awesome and he needs to be in the game. Period.
I’d also throw in Lola Bunny for gender balance, and I want The Looney Tunes Show version of the character. Wacky Lola is best Lola. I don’t care about “bunny boobies”, and neither should you.

And also, Yosemite Sam.

A little guy with a big mouth and big guns. He’d be perfect for a WB slug fest.

Here’s a kooky thought: why not add Granny as a wild card?

She could have a ramming motor scooter attack, an umbrella whack, some Matrix-style karate moves, plus another female Looney Tune is always welcome.
I considered Sylvester and Tweety, but the way I imagined them playing would be too similar to Tom & Jerry.

DETECTIVE COMICS (DC)

So far, we’ve got the Trinity (Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman) and Harley Quinn. Nice, but there should be more.

Bring in The Flash. The Scarlet Speedster is a no-brainer.
And also Green Lantern, aka John Stewart. Yeah, I know that Hal Jordan is the most famous Green Lantern, but come on. We need some representation.
Cyborg would be another good choice for this endeavor; we haven’t gotten a decent Tech Factor hero in this game yet.
Or Static Shock. He’s got a unique power set. That works too.
And since Harley Quinn is already here, might as well bring in The Joker as well.

HANNA-BARBERA

There is a rumor that Fred Flintstone may show up in Multiversus, and if that’s true, yeah, we get it. The Flintstones is iconic. But personally, if we’re going to have an H-B caveman in this game, We’d rather have Captain Caveman.

He’s super strong. He can fly. He has a magic club. Tell me that having Cavey in this game wouldn’t rock (Sorry, couldn’t resist)!

And hey, since Multiversus is technically a fighting game, why not throw in Hong Kong Phooey?

Number One super guy! Fanriffic!
WARNING! Obscure TV show reference. You risk losing your contemporary audience! Please move on.
And since we’ve already got some super heroes, how about Space Ghost? He’s got groovy powers.
I think the Scoob! versions of Blue Falcon and Dynomutt might be cool, but that’s probably just me.

One more thing. I suspect that we’ll get more members of Mysteries Inc. somewhere down the line, but I think that it’s ridiculous that Shaggy and Velma made it to this game before Scooby Doo, so let’s rectify that.

“Ring me in, clowns!”

CARTOON NETWORK

So far, on the Cartoon Network side, we’ve got Finn and Jake from Adventure Time, Garnet and Steven Universe from, well, Steven Universe. Not bad, but there needs to be more.

The Powerpuff Girls

I don’t think that I need to explain why the Powerpuff Girls should be in Multiversus. They were originally called The Whoop-Ass Girls. ‘Nuff said.

I also think that this game should have Dexter as a playable character.

Give him a pile of gadgets and/or a mech suit and the pint sized mad scientist is good to go.

I’d also add Mordecai and Rigby from Regular Show.

I have no idea what they would do. I just want to see them in there.

An obvious choice from Cartoon Network’s roster would be Ben Tennyson, aka Ben 10.

The obvious hook with him would be having him switch into his various alien forms and giving each one of them a special attack. It would a bit to make, but it could be done.
For balance you could throw Gwen in there as well, just give her her Anodite magic and she’s all set.
Feakazoid would be a good addition, but he’s co-owned by Steven Spielberg, so WB would need to get clearance from Amblin in order to use him.

Moving on…

Again, I don’t know how this would work, but you have to admit, having Godzilla in this game would be freakin’ cool!

A Few Minor Adjustments

The following is NOT big news. Nothing Earth shattering to report here. This is just a quick heads-up regarding some recent adjustments that will likely be made to a few of our recurring segments in the near future.

Presently, there aren’t any plans for a new TV Special Showdown segment, but when we do write another one, the segment will likely be getting a new name. Why? Because when I first conceived TV Special Showdown, I was very much inspired by Matthew Buck’s Bad Movie Beatdown segments. However, while the segment was initially inspired by BMB, over time as it progressed, the segment became more of its own thing. The TSS segments became more smart aleck-y than angry, primarily because we both have grown weary of the “angry review” type of presentation and I never wanted to be known as a reviewer, as I don’t consider what we do on TV Special Showdown to be reviews. To me, including the word “showdown” in the segment’s name comes off as being needlessly confrontational, like I’m coming into it angry and ready to rip the special apart, which isn’t always the case. Therefore, whenever the segment resumes, it will have a new name that better reflects its current style. I haven’t decided on what exactly the new name will be just yet. One name that we’re considering is one that Damon suggested for the segment initially: A Very Special Special. I thought about calling it Prime Times, but that name sounds more like it’s about prime time TV in general. We both like the title ACME Night and I like the title of Allison Pregler’s Movie Nights!, so perhaps we could give the segments a name similar to one of those. I won’t be going back and changing the names of all the previously written Showdown segments because there’s too many of them and I am lazy. When there’s a new segment written, you’ll notice that it has a new name. Like how Videots was recently renamed Player Two Start this year or how Cartoon Country was morphed into That’s Warner Brothers!.

Toon Adjacent and Ad Nausea won’t be going anywhere, but our more recent segment idea Retroville contains elements of both. On Retroville, we plan to cover old ad campaigns, defunct store chains, theme park attractions, toy lines, that kind of thing, and so having this new segment and the 2 earlier ones floating around separately seems redundant. When we want to write something about an old commercial or a store or a collectible or something similar, we’ll cover it on Retroville.

We may be putting The Retro Bin on ice for a while, not so much because of the content, but more so due to it’s presentation. Like with TV Special Showdown, we both were very much into the “Angry Reviewer” phase when Retro Bin was launched. So much so that Damon later created an alternative “nice” version of The Retro Bin called The Cartoon Couch (which was basically the same thing, except the shows covered on Cartoon Couch were shows or ideas that we liked and would like to see more of), which has since become one of our favorite segments to write. As is the case with TV Special Showdown, there aren’t any current ideas for a new Cartoon Couch in the works, but we would like to do more of them. It’s possible that we could be combining both segments into one. However, presentation-wise, it would be closer to The Cartoon Couch than The Retro Bin. In fact, one name that Damon is currently considering to call this combined segment is The Couch, which is kind of ironic because there was an unsold Comedy Central pilot called The Couch which is what inspired the Cartoon Couch name. Again, like with TV Special Showdown, we’re not going to go back and change the names of all the previously written Retro Bin and Cartoon Couch segments because there’s too many of them and they go back too far. Once we have a new name, the segments will have that name going forward.

Just wanted you all to know this so when any of this actually happens, you won’t be surprised. Thank again for reading and staying with us.

“And we thank you for your support.”

Welcome to Toontown (Revisited)

Hey.

Do you all remember a post that I made back in 2011 for a potential new animated series titled Disney’s Toontown? Well, as I said back when I originally wrote it, that was more a broad outline for a show. However, due to recent events, mainly the premiere of Warner Brother’s new animated series Jellystone!

This series respawned our interest in this idea, so now, because we have nothing better to do, we’re going to give a more detailed breakdown of Welcome to Toontown (originally Disney’s Toontown) and how we imagine such a series would work. Just to keep things simple, we’re going to keep the main cast at characters who are in-house Disney, so no Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars or Muppet characters. Got it? Good.

Toontown is a place where all of the Disney toons reside.

Established in 1930, it’s a big, sprawling community where Disney toons of all kinds live, work and play together. Toontown has everything a toon could need.
In fact, it kind of looks like an expensive theme park. Funny that.

Everyone has homes and jobs here and chaos typically ensues when they get together. Keeping the day-to-day operations of Tootown running smoothly (or as smoothly as to be expected when you’re dealing with wacky toons), is the town’s mayor J. Audubon Woodlore.

“Put all of your ideas in the suggestion box, which will be looked at sometime in the future.”

Who is often seen accompanied by his assistant, Fix-It Felix Jr.

“At your service!”

And yes, Felix is still married to Sgt. Calhoun on the show. She’s the chief of police.

“Hey! No jaywalking! Don’t make me get out the taser!”

Mr. Woodlore is the mayor of Toontown, but he’s mostly a figurehead. The town is really owned by world famous incredibillionaire tycoon Scrooge McDuck, who simply didn’t want the job.

“Woodlore can have the job. He likes doing paperwork. It’s his hobby. I’m too busy counting my money. Now that’s a full time job!”

Of course, if you’re going to make a series starring Disney characters, you have to have the Sensational Six. No one wants angry fans banging away at their keyboards about your heinous mistake. Yes, Mickey and the gang are definitely in this.

The gang’s all here!

And like the rest of the cast, they all have jobs within the community. Mickey, Donald and Goofy are entrepreneurs who operate a business called Odd Jobs, Inc.

“Well take on any assignment, for your satisfaction…and the almighty paycheck!”

The three of them are freelance problem solvers who take on a variety of assignments. This is a nice throwback to the old theatrical shorts such as “Clock Cleaners”, Lonesome Ghosts” and the like.

And no, Minnie and Daisy aren’t left out. They also have a business. When they’re not working as fashion designers at Minnie’s Bow-tique, they’re at their part time job as the Happy Helpers.

“We’re doing good while looking good!”
As for Pluto, he’s still Mickey’s boon companion, assisting Mickey and/or Minnie whenever possible…
…When he’s not busy chasing after Centoonial Park residents Chip ‘n’ Dale, that is!

In addition, there’s a group of would-be heroes in Toontown. This team consists of…

Darkwing Duck, the leader
Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera, aka Gizmoduck, the brains/tech-head
and Wreck-It Ralph, the muscle.

These three often go out “on patrol” looking for wrongs to right, but these patrols usually end with them going to the local sweet shop to enjoy some milkshakes.

Another occupation shown sometimes is Higher For Hire, a airborne delivery service that’s operated by it’s new owner Della Duck and her co-pilot Launchpad McQuack.

Now, on the ritzy side of town is the Enchanted Heights, which is basically like a fairy tale version of Beverly Hills.

Sparkly, no?

This is where the Disney Princesses reside.

They spend most of their time obsessing over hair, clothes, dudes and the latest magical accessories. Think Clueless, but with tiaras.

And what would an animated series be without cute kids? You’ve got to sell those toys! The main kid crew of Toontown featured here would consist of…

Huey, Dewey and Louie
Webby Vanderquack
Vanellope Von Shweetz
and Lilo & Stitch.

They basically get into Our Gang-style shenanigans. Can you say “toyetic”, boys and girls?

Then there’s Toowntown’s scientific community, who operate at Innovation Station, the Center for Science and Imagination

Look familiar?

This team of big brained thinkers consists of

Professor Ludwig Von Drake
Gyro Gearloose
Gandra Dee
and Dreamfinder and his pal Figment.

Next, we come to the seedy underbelly of Toontown; Villainville…

Boo! Hiss!

…which is populated by the ever scheming group of foes known as Nightmare Enterprises, aka, Team N.M.E.

The Wicked Queen (from Snow White) is the ringleader. Malificent (from Sleeping Beauty) is the lieutenant. The rest have their fingers in various operations.

And because these ne’er do wells don’t like to get their hands dirty, they naturally have grunts to their dirty work for them, namely the Cogs.

These guys work cheap. Give them some calzones and some cheap wine and they’re happy.
As an added bonus, Pete is the villain wannabe who’ll do anything to join the ranks of Team N.M.E., only for them to have a different reason to reject his application, when they don’t just plain blow him off. Why? N.M.E. sees Pete as strictly small potatoes (to them he’s just a local thug, not a true uber-villain) plus Pete’s had fleeting moments of being NICE, which is unforgivable to N.M.E.

You may be wondering, if Team N.M.E. is so evil, why don’t they just waltz in and take over Toontown? The answer is: they can’t. Toontown’s resident good mages

The Fairy Godmother
Flora, Fauna and Merriweather
And of course, Yen Sid

All used their magic to create a powerful force field around the rest of Toontown, thus preventing any villains from entering. Team N.M.E. have tried to penetrate the force field so they can take over on occasion, but they’ve failed every time (remember, this is a comedy show!)

The Genie (from Alladin) is Toontown’s media mogul. Whenever the town needs a presenter, a show host or an interviewer, it’s usually him.

“Just look at the ratings, baby! It’s MAGIC!”

At the end of the day, when the Toons want to wind down, they frequent Toontown’s local watering hole, The Enchanted Tiki Room.

Which is run by Toontown’s resident angry birds, Iago and Zazu.

And for entertainment we have the club’s house band…

The Seven Dwarfs, aka The 7D!

Another great thing about this idea is that the perfect theme song for this show has already been written. Music, maestro!

And if anyone from Disney happens to be reading this, feel free to use any of it. All we ask for in return is a “Developed by”, credit, since it was our idea, and that Mickey Mouse has to be an active, funny character in it.

And a piece of the gross, of course.