Author silverstar

Who Killed Saturday Morning?

silverstar 4 Comments

One complaint I hear quite frequently from folks in my generation and up is how dramatically the face of Saturday morning TV has changed on broadcast television: your ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX, which we’ll hereinafter refer to as the Alphabet Networks, ’cause I’m lazy and I like clever buzzwords. For several decades, these networks used to run full-scale animation and kids’ programming blocks on SatAM (and some on weekday mornings and afternoons too) for 2 to 4 full hours on end, but recently, these blocks gradually began to disappear, getting replaced by morning news and infomercials, and most of the Alphabet Networks have opted to let syndicated packages handle their weekend morning programming aimed at the kiddos, e.g., Qubo, Cookie Jar TV and most recently Litton’s ABC Weekend Adventures and their new syndicated package which will launch on CBS on September 28th (coincidentally, that’s my mom’s birthday). The only Alphabet Network still running their own SatAM block currently is The CW, which currently airs the Vortexx action cartoon block.

What happened? Why did this happen? How did this happen? A lot of my peers tend to scapegoat the E/I requirement, enacted in 1990 by our pals at the FCC, which requires that every full-service terrestrial television station in the U.S. to show at least three hours of educational television programs every week. “Darn that E/I mandate!” they cry. “That E/I requirement needs to be scrapped!” “This stupid E/I mandate is what’s killed the Saturday morning I grew up with!” “If it weren’t for the E/I requirement, the broadcast networks would be airing good cartoon shows again!” Etc., etc., etc.

“Why is everybody always pickin’ on me??”

Now, before you all get out the tar and feathers and prepare yourselves for a good ol’ fashioned lynchin’, let me enlighten you on something: the current state of Saturday morning (and weekday mornings and afternoons too, for that matter) kids’ programming on the Alphabet Networks is NOT the fault of the E/I mandate. If the E/I requirement were to be removed, there’d still be a less than squadoosh chance of so-called “old-school” Saturday morning blocks returning to broadcast TV. If E/I were to ever go, all affiliates would happily run another hour of big-bucks local news and buckets more infomercials. The only reason the networks provide — or in ABC and now CBS’s case, arrange for a syndicated block of — E/I programming is that it’s a bargaining chip they can use when they ask the affiliates to give up time for other programming efforts — sports, Sunday morning news shows, etc. The affiliates are lazy. If they can get their networks to do their E/I work for them, they will.

People really need to stop blaming the E/I mandate for the so-called ‘death of Saturday morning cartoons’. The Alphabet Networks bowing out of the SatAM game is not the fault of the E/I mandate. There are other factors involved:

1. Broadcast TV in general is currently suffering at the hands of cable and other media.

2. Thanks to the advent of cable, satellite, DVDs, DVRs, the internet, video games, computers, and mobile devices, kids don’t need to watch broadcast TV on Saturday mornings.

3. Local news and infotainment are more profitable for local stations and affiliates than kids’ shows are.

4. The massive merging of corporate media outlets during the 90’s and 00’s and the resulting vertical integration. Translated, most of the SatAM cartoons we olds grew up on are now under the umbrella of the Big Corporations, many of whom would rather let their shows collect dust in the vault than let a competing network they don’t own air them, thus there’s a lot less material available for broadcast TV and syndication.

5. The general death of first-run syndication. Outside of judge or talk shows, there aren’t any major TV ventures coming from syndication markets; most of the Hercules, Young Indiana Jones, Small Wonder or Star Trek type programs are made by cable channels nowadays.

Broadcast network SatAM was already on it’s last legs by the time the E/I mandate come along, so E/I is hardly to blame for the current state of the Alphabet Networks. The harsh truth is that era of Broadcast network SatAM is just obsolete now, gone the way of the dinosaur, those pointy Pilgrim hats and the Edsel; broadcast networks can’t compete with 24-hour cable channels, the internet and home video.

Finally, I’d like to address a couple of comments I’ve read online regarding this matter:

(The CW) is the only network TV station that still keeps the spirit of Saturday morning cartoons alive.

Ah, no. The so-called spirit of Saturday morning isn’t dead; This legendary spirit of Saturday morning cartoons is still very much alive and well, it’s just that the media and outlets for it have changed. Kids today have no reason to clamor for some network block which only airs shows for 2 to 4 hours a week when they can now get their cartoon fix anywhere at anytime on cable TV, the internet and elsewhere.

Wish one day, ABC, CBS and NBC will follow suit. But I doubt it.

A senior member at Toon Zone said it best: “SatAM will only come back to the broadcast networks if every kids’ cable network suddenly went bankrupt and the internet blacked out”. The Alphabet Networks’ reign of Saturday morning TV was a product of the 70’s through 80’s when broadcast TV and syndication were all we had and the early 90’s when there were like 30-something cable channels that aired only repeats, but the market has changed a lot since then. Broadcast SatAM cartoons just aren’t profitable nor viable in this day and age of 24/7 kids’ cable networks and the like. Many of the Alphabet Networks bowed out of the kids’ programming block game because these blocks were actually causing them to lose money, so we’re not going to see magical return of broadcast SatAM TV just because some folks’ nostalgia demands it.

SatAM really isn’t in that bad shape right now. The Saturday morning experience of today isn’t objectively better or worse than the one we grew up with, it’s just different. The truth is that every era is good in its’ own way, it’s just that some people are too stuck in the past to appreciate it. The way I see it, we have 2 choices: we can either roll with the tide and embrace change, or we can sit on our rocking chairs with nostalgia goggles stuck on our heads like Grumpy Old Men and beg for a return of the “good ol’ days”.

I personally choose the former. 10, 15, 20 years from now, the nostalgia people will be begging for the current Saturday morning regime to return, while I’ll be enjoying whatever goodness comes our way.

The Pac is Back

silverstar 4 Comments

Back in June, we gave you a brief preview of Disney Close-Eyed Grin (XD)’s Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures, a new Japanese/Canadian/American computer-animated television series in production by 41 Entertainment based on Namco Bandai Games’ Pac-Man video game franchise. At the time, the series hadn’t premiered yet, but now that it’s made its’ debut (the series proper premiered on June 15th) and several episodes have aired, I can now give Ghostly Adventures a full review.

Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures

The premise isn’t anything you haven’t heard before: Pac-Man saves his native soil of Pac-World (as opposed to the Pac-Land of the 1982 Hanna-Barbera animated series) from ghosts. But the way it’s presented is new and different. This isn’t the Pac-Man of your older sibling who’s stuck in the 1980’s (“Skinny ties are coming back, man! Just wait and see! And man, Alien was a cool movie!”) Visually, Ghostly Adventures is a real treat: the show, which is presented in stereoscopic 3D, is one of the best looking CGI shows I’ve seen on TV. It takes us inside a beautiful, futuristic, high-tech Pac-World full of spherical and ovular buildings and spherical and ovular Pac-People, chock full of sci-fi tech such as hover-boards and other way-out gadgets, very bright, colorful and fun. The show’s cast is also quite colorful, but literally and figuratively:

The Heroes:

Pac-Man_Spiral_Cylindria_&_Zachary
Pac-Man himself (or just “Pac”, to give his more familiar name; the “Man” part is just a title bestowed upon him after saving Pac-World for the first time) is here portrayed as a happy-go-lucky, likable, energetic, well-meaning, sincere and good-natured (if a tad naive) teenager with a voracious appetite. On this show his yellow color scheme isn’t just for show, it actually ties into the premise: on this show Pac-Denizens come in a wide ranges of colors, as opposed to most of the previous media, where most of the Pac-People were yellow by default; the yellow Pac-Worlders are legendary heroes and the sworn protectors of Pac-World, as they’re the only Pac-People capable of eating ghosts. As such, Pac-World’s greatest threat has systematically hunted down and eliminated nearly all of the Yellows down to near-extinction, leaving Pac as seemingly the only yellow Pac-Worlder left alive (though other yellow Pac-Worlders are sometimes seen in the background, or maybe they’re supposed to be gold?). Not only is Pac the only one capable of devouring ghosts and spitting out their eyeballs, but he also receives unique powers and abilities by eating the magical Power Berries from the Tree of Life (this shows equivalent to the Power Pellets and the Power Forest), enabling such wacky-but-useful transformations and abilities as growing to giant size, bouncing around like a Super Ball, a fire form, an ice form, a titanium form with a magnetic tongue for attracting ghosties, a chameleon form with a long-stretching tongue (no, he doesn’t hock Geico insurance!) and more.
“Oh, sure. A short, round dude who gets crazy powers by eating stuff. Never seen that before! Real [bleep]ing original!”
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Cylindria (or Cylli for short) is one of Pac’s best friends and partners in crime on this show. She’s a lavender Pac-Girl with streaked purple-black hair, red-framed glasses, fingerless gloves, striped socks and black Goth boots. Cylli is basically the Hermoine Granger of the show, but thankfully she’s not overbearing with it. (Is it wrong to find a lavender ball somewhat adorkably hot? I’m asking for a friend.)
Sprial is Pac’s other best friend. With his large ovoid body, tuft of curly blue hair atop his head and bright red coloring, he resembles a living radish. While he may look weird, he’s a true and loyal friend to “the Pacster”, as he calls him. Spiral’s always got Pac’s back and is full of “cool” best bud phrases which he’ll spout at the drop of a hat.
President Stratos Spheros is the green colored President of Pac-World and the one who typically sends the Pac team out on its’ mission. He’s usually flanked by his semi-competent guards, who are all blue in color and wear sunglasses (The Men in Blue, perhaps?)
Sir Cumference (get it?) is Pac-World’s resident nutty inventor, also green, BTW, who builds and designs the team’s ghost-busting gadgets. He also fought in Pac-World War 1.
Spheria Suprema is a brave and sassy orange colored Pac Lady with a Southern accent. She’s another former PWW1 freedom fighter and is currently Pac-World’s reigning Pac-Pong champ. Spheria also happens to be Pac’s aunt, who is raising him now that his parents have been killed. (Awwwww.)
The Villains:
Commander/Lord Betrayus is the show’s main antagonist. He’s the absolute dictator of the Netherworld, similar to the character of Spooky from Pac-Man World 2. Once he was a Pac-Worlder, a dissident who attempted to take over the planet with an army of traitors, monsters and ghosts, launching Pac World War 1. (One thing I like about this series is that it actually gives its’ villain a back story which actually ties into his having once been one of them, as opposed to the HB show which just plonked a human would-be Gargamel onto the show with no explanation of who he was, where he came from, what his motivations were and how he came to be there). He was also the one responsible for the near-extinction of the Yellow Pac-Worlders. Upon his defeat, Betrayus and his followers were all stripped of the corporeal forms and banished to the Netherworld as ghosts, but after the portal sealing them all away was accidentally breached (by Pac, as it happens) Betrayus now hatches scheme after scheme to defeat Pac-Man and take over once and for all. He typically employs monsters, specters and gadgets, all of which fail week after week Rita Repulsa style. When Betrayus rages out (which is often) he emits fire. Betrayus has an ego the size of a mountain and is more than just a little nuts; as such his minions aren’t so much loyal to him as they’re too afraid of the wack-a-doodle to act any other way towards him. (Incidentally, Betrayus, both in corporeal and ghostly form, is white. As yet we haven’t seen any other white Pac-Worlders; perhaps Betrayus is a mutant, or maybe he just spent zero time in the sun.) Lord B. is also President Spheros’ brother.
Buttler is Betrayus’ hapless purple-gray colored personal servant. When he had a body he was a corporal in PWW1, who was secretly leaking secrets to Betrayus. After being discovered, which led to the defeat of Betrayus’ army, Betrayus blames him and now forces Buttler to serve him for all eternity. It’s fitting that he has a head shaped like a pair of buttocks, since he’s the frequent butt of jokes and target of abuse.
Dr. Buttocks is the Netherworld’s resident mad scientist, who creates the inventions Betrayus employs in his attempts for revenge. He resembles Buttler, only blue-gray in color instead of Buttler’s  purple-gray and with a mad scientist-required German accent. There’s a reason for their resemblance: they’re twin brothers, though they don’t get along: the Doc considers Buttler to be a lowly servant (which he is) while Buttler considers Buttocks to be a long-winded egomaniac (which he is). Buttocks’ ego is just as big as Betrayus’ and the 2 clash almost immediately.
Somewhere between the good guys and the bad guys are The Ghost Gang, the 4 ghosts from the games. Whereas before they were clear-cut villains, here they work as double-agents, leaking secrets, plans and advice to the good guys in order to fulfill their own personal agenda: they hope to get their bodies back. The Ghosts are even less loyal to Betrayus than the other spooks, though they’re not actually evil, just mischievous pranksters.
Blinky, the red ghost, acts as leader of the Ghost Gang (as opposed to the HB show, where he was a quaking coward in a farmer’s hat). Blinky speaks in a slanted, street-wise tough-guy brouque and helps the good guys when it suits his own purposes, though he’s quick to abandon the crusade to keep his ectoplasmic fat out of the fire.
Pinky, the pink ghost (duh!) is the only female member of the gang. (The HB cartoon was one of the few media where Pinky was portrayed as a male.) She has the same sass level as her brothers, but with a feminine charm. Pinky’s other defining trait is that she has a HUGE crush on Pac, and her desire for him often leads her to stick her (lack of) neck out further for the heroes than the others. As a side-effect, Pinky harbors an almost Pavlovian disdain for Cylindria.
Inky, the blue ghost, is a tad scatter-brained and a little spastic, but nowhere near the googly-eyed, tongue-wagging imbecile that he was in the HB show. Inky shares Blinky’s tough-guy mode of speech and desire to keep his rear covered over helping the good guys. In fact, Inky and Blinky are so much alike that they occasionally butt heads.
Clyde, the orange ghost, is a jumbo-sized gentle giant sized spook who, true to his game character, typically takes up the rear. Despite his slowness and somewhat vacant sounding voice, he is actually the most insightful member of the gang and is the most helpful. Clyde is also a pacifist, preferring to sit back and muse rather than scare people and pull pranks; Clyde’s gentleness and caring demeanor often annoys Blinky and Inky, but luckily Clyde is so huge that he can knock their heads together, literally.
Now, on to the gripes. Are there gripes? Really, the only gripe I have with the show is very minor: the recurring character of Skeebo, a blue-colored jock jerk in Pac’s class who insults and torments Pac for fun and who falls into the trope of Jerk Character Who Lives to Antagonize the Hero Even Though He Has No Reason to Actually Hate Him. He’s such an unneeded element to the show, especially since he has no clear cut motivations; we have no idea why Skeebo gets such a boner from hating on Pac, he just does. But thankfully, his machinations end up with him looking like a fool every time, so he hardly qualifies as a threat.
My overall rating: B. Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures won’t change your life, but it’s a fun way to kill a half-hour. The show managed to make me feel sympathy for a little yellow ball who’s lost his parents in a genocidal spree and now has the weight of his entire world hoisted onto his nonexistent shoulders. The show deserves credit for that alone.

Comments About Comments

silverstar 1 Comment

We’ve been listening to our readers’ criticisms about our blog, and without a doubt, the 1 complaint that I’ve heard more than any other regarding the blog is that people are displeased with our decision to disable the ability for readers to post comments. Well, we’ve heard your complaints and since we want our readers to enjoy their stay here, we’ve decided to once again allow readers’ comments.

However, there’s a condition: instead of all comments showing up immediately like before, from now on all comments will need to be approved by us before they’ll be published. It’s just a precaution, you understand. It isn’t that we don’t like you guys or don’t trust you, we just don’t want this place to turn into a circus like it was when we first started it. The reason we disabled the comments in the first place was because we were tired of getting trolled; it had gotten to the point where we were receiving more troll and hate comments than legitimate ones. Having said that, here are Da Rules for readers’ comments:

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Talkin’ Nerdy: Hydro Heroes Unite!

silverstar 3 Comments
Fire.
Earth.
Air.
Air symbol
Weak Sauce.
Really? Well, if you go by the jokes, riffs and barbs of comedians and cartoon writers, you’d think so. Take the scion of Atlantis, Aquaman:
Aquaman
 “Yeah, I’ve done plenty of sighin’ in Atlantis too.”
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Here it is, 2013, and still the only way stand-up comics and the writers of Robot Chicken can think of to make Aquaman funny is to chortle, “Hur-hur. Aquaman’s lame. He’s a pansy who can’t fight, and his only superpower is talking to fish.” Seriously? The character has gone through numerous revamps and reboots, and people are still harping on the “Aquaman is useless” trope?? I get that many people base their opinion on Aquaman on the way he was portrayed on the old Super Friends TV show, where they downplayed his super-strength since they wanted Superman to be known as the strong one, and of course BS&P wouldn’t allow his to brandish his trident because they apparently were worried about kids on the playground stabbing each other with tridents, and of course, NO Super Friend could ever be shown punching anyone who could bruise, bleed or punch back. But come on, Super Friends was 40 years ago. Get current. Learn a new tune, already!
FTR, here’s a list of Aquaman’s current abilities:

Aquaman’s most widely recognized power is the telepathic ability to communicate with marine life, which he can summon from great distances. Although this power is most often and most easily used on marine life, Aquaman has at times demonstrated the ability to affect any being that lives upon the sea (e.g., sea eagles), or even any being evolved from marine life (e.g., humans). As per the 2011 DC continuity reboot, Aquaman’s telepathy has been greatly downplayed: acknowledging that most marine life doesn’t possess enough intelligence to carry a meaningful telepathic communication, Aquaman is now stated to simply add compulsions and needs in the mindset of aquatic life, compelling them to do his bidding by a subtle altering of their midbrain.

Aquaman has a number of superhuman powers, most of which derive from the fact that he is adapted to live in the depths of the ocean. He has the ability to breathe underwater. He possesses superhuman durability high enough to remain unaffected by the immense pressure and the cold temperature of the ocean depths, this also makes him tough enough to be invulnerable to machine gun fire. He also possesses superhuman strength. He can swim at very high speeds, capable of reaching speeds of 10,000 feet per second and can swim up Niagara Falls. He can see in near total darkness and has enhanced hearing granting limited sonar.

However, one point of interest regarding the Aquaman rhetoric can be found in the form of Aquaman’s sidekicks, the Aqualads, Garth (Tempest) and Kaldur’ahm.

In addition to possessing the usual string of Atlantean abilities, these stud-muffins can also perform acts of aquatic sorcery: making water constructs and weapons, forming water into ice and gaseous forms, etc. This begs the question: why didn’t DC just give all Atlanteans hydrokinetic powers from the get-go? If Aquaman and the other Atlanteans were water-based sorcerers, there may never have been the string of “Aquaman is lame” jokes.

Let’s move on to another water-based superhero who has received more than his fair share of abuse from comedians and cartoon writers: Zan of the Wonder Twins.

“Hello, ladies!”
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Like Aquaman, this guy has been the butt of jokes for decades now. The typical mode of thinking is, “Jayna’s power is cool since she can turn into animals, but Zan’s power is lame because he just turns into water”. Even the Twins’ parent company makes fun of Zan:

Come on, now. Are we all really that short-sighted? Let’s explore the true nature and extent of Zan’s power, shall we?

Zan can transform into water at any state (solid, liquid, gas) and add to his mass by incorporating water in his immediate area. In the case of becoming solid ice, he can also become any form he chooses, from a 5,000 foot humanoid ice giant to a cage for a criminal to complex machinery (such as a jet engine, as he did in the episode “Eruption”). He changes into a gelatinous form at one point. On another occasion, he transformed into liquid nitrogen. In addition, he can transform himself into atmospheric disturbances (usually very localized) involving water, such as a blizzard, a monsoon, waterspout or a typhoon. In the comics, the Twins’ powers were more extensive and Zan could transform into things like ice monsters, hurricanes and demonic looking sentient whirlpools. Beaten by a sponge? I think not.

There are no useless characters; only writers who don’t or can’t think of formidable or creative ways to use them. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Zan’s power. He just needs to be under the supervision of someone who can properly utilize it. Water can be unyielding, imposing and even deadly. The moon’s gravitational pull is controlled by the tides, lest we forget. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this water-wielder:

Katara

“Any moron with 2 working eyes can see that I’m not white. Got that, M. Night Shaymalan?”
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Nobody’s calling her useless, are they? So don’t hate. Appreciate. Water powered heroes rock!
“Yeah. That means I’M cool too!”
Uh, no, dude. You’re just a big, dumb mutant fish.

The Retro Bin: Yogi’s Gang (1973)

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As previously mentioned in Jason (Goldstar)’s Yogi’s Space Race review, a staple of Hanna-Barbera Studios was its’ employment of the “potpourri” show concept, namely gathering their vast and rather redundant library of star characters together in a single program, typically with them all involved in some group activity like a major sporting competition or celebrating some character’s First Christmas TM. I suppose to die-hard HB fans, these crossovers were considered the ultimate team-ups. But for folks like me, these characters were simply interchangeable; putting 20 of them on one program was like dawn of the Stepford Cartoons. One early example of the HB “potpourri” show was 1973’s Yogi’s Gang, which aired 16 half-hour episodes on ABC from September 8, 1973, to December 29, 1973 and was based on a TV movie from a year earlier called Yogi’s Ark Lark. For those who aren’t old codgers like me and weren’t around to experience this show, imagine if all of the characters from the Boomerang Zoo block appeared together in one show, suck out all of the fun and mix in the ham-handed PSA preachiness of Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids and The New Zoo Revue and you have the basic idea of what we had to endure back then.
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Here’s the basic crux: In the TV movie Yogi’s Ark Lark (1972), a myriad of HB’s funny animal toon stars, specifically Atom Ant, Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy, The Hillbilly Bears, Hokey Wolf and Ding-A-Ling, Huckleberry Hound, Lambsy, Lippy the Lion & Hardy Har Har, Magilla Gorilla, Moby Dick (from Moby Dick and Mighty Mightor), Peter Potamus and So-So, Pixie and Dixie and Mr. Jinks, Quick Draw McGraw and Baba Looey, Ruff and Reddy, Sawtooth the Beaver (Rufus Ruffcut’s pet beaver from Wacky Races), Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole, Snagglepuss, Squiddly Diddly, Top Cat and his gang (Benny the Ball, Spook, Choo Choo, Fancy Fancy, and the Brain–not the lab mouse from Animaniacs who wants to take over the world!), Touché Turtle and Dum Dum, Wally Gator, Yakky Doodle & Chopper, Yogi Bear and Boo Boo and an unknown and unnamed dinosaur character (Phew! That’s was a long list, but no worries; since all of them contribute what is in essence a single character–they’re all basically same goofball–and as such I won’t need to delve into any of their ‘characters’ individually again and have no desire whatsoever to do separate reviews of any of their own respective cartoons, I won’t ever have to type it again) headed by Yogi, become concerned about the environment and pollution, and gather together at Jellystone Park to build a flying ship resembling Noah’s Ark with a propeller on top to find “The Perfect Place”, an environment free of of pollution, deforestation, and other forms of mankind’s despoilment. They are aided by Jellystone Park’s handyman, Mr. Smitty, and out of gratitude the gang decide to name the ship after him. The name ‘Smitty’s Houseboat’ is too long to paint on the ship’s bow, but Mr. Smitty’s first name just happens to be Noah, so they end up calling it ‘Noah’s Ark’. (Get it? How original and not at all pretentious!) Anyways, after journeying from everywhere from the Antarctic to the Sahara Desert to outer space (yes, really), the kid animals (Augie Doggie, Boo Boo, Baba Looey, Benny the Ball, Lambsy, Shag Rugg, Yakky Doodle–wait, since when are Boo-Boo, Baba Looey and Benny the Ball kids? I knew that they were short, but them being minors gives their “partnership” with their taller, adult animal partners a somewhat creepy vibe) get the idea that there is no “Perfect Place”, and that they should all simply go back home and clean up the messes that they were trying to get away from, since It’s Up To All Of Us TM. This decision is met with unanimous approval, and the animals all head for home to take pollution down to zero, and turn their home into “the Perfect Place.”
*****************************************************
Nifty. Well, it would seem that these guys must suffer from short-term memory loss, since the following year they were back in that flying boat again, once more looking for a place free of pollution or crime and doin’ the righteous thing for an additional 16 episodes (really 15, as episode 16 was just a rebroadcast of Yogi’s Ark Lark, split into 2 parts. Here’s the opening:

-Now, I know what you younger folks are thinking: about Boo-Boo’s line in the 3rd verse:

…Yeah, Boo-Boo sang “The world be so bright and gay”; keep in mind this was 1973, back when ‘gay’ still meant ‘happy’. It was meant to have shiny, happy connotations, but of course hearing that line now, and then seeing that shot of the little side-stepping dance all those male cartoon characters are shown doing afterwards, it’s unintentionally hilarious. Moving on…

The show typically ran along the same basic lines. The ship, curiously now dubbed ‘Yogi’s Ark’ and now with Yogi at the helm (it’s never stated exactly what happened to Noah Smitty, or at what point Yogi assumed command, but I’m guessing you just might find something interesting at the bottom of the Hudson River chained to a block of cement) traverses the skies and lands somewhere where they run afoul of some loony would-be supervillain who is the embodiment of some human vice, bad habit or negative trait: Captain Swashbuckle Swipe, Smokestack Smog, Lotta Litter, the Envy Brothers, Mr. Hothead, Dr. Bigot (and his henchmen Professor Haggling and Professor Bickering), the Gossipy Witch of the West, J. Wantum Vandal, the Sheik of Selfishness, Commadore Phineas P. Fibber, I.M. Sloppy, Peter D. Cheater, Mr. Waste, Hilarious P. Prankster, and the Greedy Genie (think a dime store Legion of Doom, only not nearly as awesome). Typically these goons would masquerade as allies to the gang, only for our heroes to discover their true intentions by Act 3 (Gee, who would have thought a guy called DR. BIGOT would be bad news), and we the audience would get the basic Moral of the Week pounded into our heads with a sledgehammer: Don’t litter. Don’t play pranks on people. Don’t be envious. Don’t cheat. Don’t fib. Don’t be selfish. Don’t gossip. Don’t steal. Don’t be a hothead. Don’t vandalize. Don’t be wasteful. Don’t pollute. Don’t be sloppy. And above all, don’t expect your Saturday morning cartoons to be in any way fun or entertaining. The preachy moralizing this show did made Smokey the Bear and Woodsy Owl facepalm.

“Dude, seriously. Just give the message to the kids straight. Don’t be drama queens. Nobody likes to be preached to, especially on Saturday morning. And you just gotta love the irony of a bear who’s made a career out of swiping peoples’ pic-a-nic baskets telling people not to be greedy or selfish. Hypocrite much?”
“Remember, TV execs. Give a hoot. Don’t pollute the air waves with Politically Correct pap!”
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Finally, why is Peter Potamus making that messed up face in the crow’s nest in the opening titles? Was he airsick? Did he just receive a vision of the future where Williams Street spoofs him on Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law? Or maybe he just came to the realization that he and his fellow HB toon stars were starring in a show in which they traveled the globe in a flying ark ramming pro-social values down kids’ collective throats. The world may never know.