Today’s Toons & Tunes is another Cartoon Network Groovie. Not much to summarize here: a unique take on a classic cartoon character, some arty animation, a cool musical mix (courtesy of Michael Kohler) and some wonderfully corny 1950’s-1960’s era kitsch relating to the Atomic Age. I try not to be one of those overly nostalgic people who pine endlessly about their favorite eras of TV networks and shows, but I do wish that Cartoon Network or Boomerang were still making shorts and fillers like this one. They were fun and helped them stand out among the other kid-vid/animation networks. Enjoy “Atom Ant”.
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Beyond the Background: Clay, the Neglected Xiaolin Dragon
Today, Beyond the Background ventures into the realm of Kids’ WB!’s Xiaolin Showdown.
From 2003 to 2006, Xiaolin Showdown reigned on Kids’ WB!, with nothing afterward (Xiaolin Chronicles doesn’t exist; I don’t know what you’re talking about), accruing many loyal fans along the way. The 4 young Xiaolin Dragons traveled the globe in search of the legendary Sheng Gong Wu and facing off against such instantly recognizable, memorable and unforgettable foes as…
Panda-Dude!
Cat-Chick!
This Guy!
and Him! (Yup, totally memorable.)
3 of the 4 Xiaolin Dragons became popular and fan-favorites: Omi, the monk Dragon of Water, was the face of the franchise (literally, his head graced the title’s logo); Raimundo the Brazilian Dragon of Wind was the voice of SpongeBob and the Mayor of Townsville himself, Tom Kenny, and even got made into team leader by the series’ end; Kimiko the rich Japanese Dragon of Fire was distinctive for being the only female Dragon and of course for her many, many, many different hairstyles and outfits (which Jason has already covered in My Ever Changing Clothes), but for all of the hype and fan art the other Dragons enjoyed (heck, as far as fan artists were concerned, Rai and Kimi might as well have had ‘PLEASE SHIP US!” tattooed on their foreheads), one Dragon always seems to get left out of the fan-love, that Dragon being the subject of today’s Beyond the Background, Kung Fu Cowboy Clay Bailey.
“Howdy, pardners!”
Clay is the Cyborg from Teen Titans of Xiaolin Showdown; why does he receive so little love from fans? I’ve always thought Clay was cool. Let’s examine what makes this feller unique:
Clay Bailey was the Xiaolin Dragon of the Earth. He fought evil to collect the magical Shen Gong Wu with the other Xiaolin warriors. His Wudai Weapon was the Big Bang Meteorang and his Wudai power was Wudai Crater. He was able to use his elemental powers with the Fist of Tebigong and the Third-Arm Sash.
Clay was from Texas as a cowboy and worked on a ranch, being raised by his parents along side his sister, Jesse. He later traveled back for the Star Hanabi. He had not initially known that the Star Hanabi was his father’s lone star. After Dojo told them that it was the Star Hanabi, he needed to get it from him but he couldn’t go back with his friends to the temple or the Star Hanabi until he proved he was a man.
Clay was very mellow and patient, and did not get ruffled easily. He’s kind, heroic, friendly, chivalrous and gentlemanly. He has the biggest heart of all the monks and probably gets into the least fights. There are few things that will make Clay angry, some being taking or messing with his hat, or harming his friends. Clay was also very honorable, trustworthy and chivalrous, and was somewhat old-fashioned in his ways. Clay used Tai Chi, referred to as “Old Man Kung Fu” by Raimundo. In his very first Xiaolin Showdown, Kimiko, Raimundo, and Omi did not have any faith in Clay winning against their nemesis, Jack Spicer, because of his patient maner and characteristics of his element. But Clay proved the other Monks wrong by using sunflower seeds to attract the bird in the showdown instead of aggressively attacking and harming the bird.
Clay, naturally, was also the strongest of the Dragons in training. Clay could often think of creative solutions to problems, and his patience was valuable to the other Monks. He always had a way to find the light of every bad situation. He took on the “big brother” role of the team, always protecting and caring for the other Monks. He was also a big eater, his first loyalty being to any food he laid his eyes on, particularly pork chops.
-On top of all that, the dude’s a Kung Fu Cowboy. That alone is noteworthy. It’s a perfect meshing of awesome things from both the West and the East. That’s totally new and has never been done before.
-OK, it hasn’t been done that many times before, but it’s still pretty cool, and so is Clay in my book.
Ride on, Kung Fu Cowpoke, Ride On.
Toons & Tunes: Soul Coughing Groovies Double Feature
Today’s Toons & Tunes is a double play. Both of these tracks are from the band Soul Coughing, and both are from the same album, El Oso (‘The Bear’). Also, both of them have been used by Cartoon Network (and later Boomerang) for their old Groovies filler segments. First up is “Rollin'”, which is used to accompany the animation for a classic Betty Boop cartoon, complete with Koko the Clown and all.
Next up is “Circles”, the accompanying animation cleverly pokes fun at the old Hanna-Barbera tradition of looping backgrounds (i.e., the “lamp-chair-couch”) syndrome.
-Like many folks I suspect, these segments were my first introduction to Soul Coughing. To this day, I have both of these tracks on my mp3 player.
Cartoon Country: Flipping the Script – Chowder
It’s script-flipping time again! Today the show we’ll be giving the business to is C.H. Greenblatt’s Chowder.
How would I fix/improve/mutate Chowder? Let’s start with the title character….
I’d make the titular character a human, specifically a girl human. There’s no reason for the character to be an anthro, and boy-centric shows are all over the tube.
I’d also infuse the lead character with a touch more gray matter. As an apprentice chef, she shouldn’t be perfect, she should still be a touch scatterbrained and bumble from time to time, but she wouldn’t be portrayed as Too Stupid to Live. For that matter, there’s also no real reason for her to be an orphan, let’s make her guardians Mung Daal and Truffles her actual parents. Speaking of…
For the Mung Daal character, no major surgery is needed; just make him younger, less of a grotesque and less of a Lothario. He wouldn’t need to have such a roving eye after the changes being made to Truffles…
Truffles could retain some of her original sass and sharpness, but she’d definitely be kinder, gentler and more maternal. The abrasive grouch shtick just wasn’t doing it for me. Even Greenblatt realized that a little Truffles went a long way, so he relegated the character to only turning up occasionally in the later episodes of the series.
Other changes:
The lead characters would still work at a catering company, but I’d place a greater emphasis on sweets and desserts, ’cause who doesn’t love desserts?
- Only the central characters who work at the catering company would be named after foods, sweets, desserts and dishes, not everybody in the entire freaking universe. That was just overkill.
- Greenblatt’s original idea was for the show to be about a sorcerer’s apprentice; while I do like that idea, I also like the culinary shtick too and don’t want to lose that, so I’d combine the 2 (go with me on this): in this universe artists, chefs and other creative/talented types would function as the wizards and mages of this world, with their particular crafts, skills and talents serving as their “magic”. These talents would also enable these gifted individuals to perform some light magic, like telekinesis, matter transformation, etc. Odd, but I think it could work.
- There would be a greater emphasis on the lead characters’ filling food orders, cooking, preparing recipes and hunting/searching for ingredients. Not that that has to be dominating force of each and every episode, but it is the principal premise of the show, and I feel it was abandoned far too soon and too greatly in the later episodes.
- I’d do away with the all of the other apprentice characters on the show. If every kid in Marzipan City is somebody’s apprentice, then there’s nothing special about Chowder.
- Endive would still be around, but I’d make her rivalry with Mung less personal and make her more of a Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force or Squidward Tentacles type character: a pompous jerk who regularly receives her come-uppance. And I’d definitely tone down her man-hungry libido.
- Lose Panini. She could have been a decent girl character had the writers not opted to crank her up to full-blown one-dimensional stalker mode. Besides, with the Chowder character now being a girl, there’s no need for her character.
- I’d keep Gazpacho around with no real changes made to him, except I’d keep his appearances brief and only use him when he’s called for. I wouldn’t shamelessly shoehorn the character into every single episode.
- I’d greatly tone down on the breaking-the-4th-wall jokes and meta references. I’m generally not a fan of excessive 4th wall breaking because it kills tension if the characters know what’s going to happen, thus ruining any surprise. It also breaks suspension of disbelief by calling attention to the fact that it’s just a cartoon/work of fiction and therefore the audience can’t or shouldn’t get emotionally involved with anything that’s happening.
- Lose Reuben. I’m a fan of Paul Reubens, but I never liked Reuben.
Finally, what about Shnitzel?
I wouldn’t change anything about him. Shnitzel’s fine the way he is. No need to fix something that isn’t broken.
The rock monster stays in the picture!
Cartoon Country: Build Your Own Fantastic Four
As regular followers of this site know, we’re pretty big Fantastic Four fans here. Maybe it’s because they’re the first superhero family, or how they’re technically adventurers and explorers more so than superheroes, or how they eschew the anonymity of secret identities (I hate secret identities with the fury of 1000 suns) in favor of celebrity status, maybe it’s because they’re rich, maybe it’s because they get to live in a 100 floor building which they own outright and has giant 4’s all over the top….
Or maybe it’s because they get to plaster their logo on everything they own. Makes it easy to keep track of your stuff.
Anyway, since the F4 will be getting a new reboot movie with some notable cosmetic changes; in which Johnny Storm and his dad are black but Sue Storm is curiously still white, the team have been re-imagined as model-pretty Millenials, Dr. Doom is a disgruntled internet blogger and the team jumps through a Stargate to get their powers instead of going into space. So I figured if those changes are permitted, then anything goes. Today’s Cartoon Country invites you (well, mostly me) to Build Your Own Fantastic Four.
The rules are simple: pick 4 characters that you find fantastic and if you think they’d look cool in blue spandex with a ‘4’ monogram on it, make ’em a team. The characters don’t have to be superheroes, or from Marvel, or even action stars, just characters you think are cool and would bring something decent to the table. But 4’s the limit of course. What makes a character fantastic?
“Being fantastic isn’t about being muscular or powerful or famous or dominant. It’s about using your special gifts and talents to help people and make the world in which we all live a better place.”
“Or just being named PIZZA STEVE!!”
OK. now that we’ve set the ground rules, here is the roster for my Fantastic Four.
1. TECNA (Winx Club)
Most teams rely on high-tech, the Four Freedoms Plaza is full of crazy-cool gadetry, so a tech genius is necessary. Tecna is a freaking fairy whose magic power is technology. Tecna is fairy character made for a geek like me. What makes Tecna fantastic? Well, aside from possessing and IQ of 150, that’s 1-5-Oh-, her powers are entirely based on technology and digital energy, but, on occasion, she has been known to control electricity. She can create shields of green energy, which she ironically calls a “Fire Wall”. She can also create digital cages and walls of techno energy (called “Laser Cage” in the RAI English version), as well as throw blasts of green energy which can immobilize a person for a short time – or cause them to explode (called “Electric Storm” in the original RAI and RAI English versions). She can also create digital holograms (illusions) and traps which can restrain her foes. Tecna is able to manipulate any machine and is able to connect with different networks which she use as maps to help locate objects. She is able to shoot rays of digital numbers and use them as shields that protect her and others. Tecna thinks like a computer as she is able to scan object to gain information and speak binary code and is able to restore balance/order. Plus, anybody who’s outer appearance consists largely of purple and lavender is A-OK in my book.
2. SABRINA SPELLMAN (Sabrina the Teenage Witch)
You know what the Fantastic Four doesn’t have? A magic guy or gal. I chose Sabrina because she’s endured over several series and comic book adaptations over the years (including a quasi-manga series), and she’s powerful, but not too powerful, otherwise they’d be able to magic their way out of any situation and life would be boring. Plus, she was once played by Melissa Joan Hart. Bonus. Also, her latest series on the former Hub network is now kaput, so she’s got some free time now. Cast those spells and sparkle on, girlfriend.
3. MONICA (Monica’s Gang)
M’kay, this is an esoteric choice (hey, Jason told you in the last What Up? article that what we cover here would get esoteric at times, you can’t say we didn’t warn you) as this character is almost wholly unknown in the U.S., but nonetheless she fits the role as far as I’m concerned. For those who don’t know, here’s some background information:
Monica’s Gang (originally titled Turma da Mônica in Portuguese) is a popular Brazilian comic book franchise created by Mauricio de Sousa.
The series was originally based on a newspaper comic strip in which the protagonists were Blu (Bidu) and Franklin (Franjinha), launched by the newspaper Folha da Manhã in 1959. Over the years the series has been gaining a large audience, with new characters constantly being added to the lineup. Jimmy Five (Cebolinha) and Monica (Mônica) were eventually given their own comic books, hence the title “Monica’s Gang.” The characters and comics were eventually adapted into cartoons, video games, movies, theme parks and a wide range of products.
The stories revolve around the adventures of Monica and her many friends in the fictional neighborhood of “Limoeiro” in São Paulo. The neighborhood was inspired by the neighborhood of Cambuí, in Campinas and the city of Mogi das Cruzes, where de Sousa spent his childhood. Monica herself is a 7 year old, strong and decisive girl, who does not tolerate impertinence, but at the same time, has her moments of femininity, she will not let go of her blue stuffed rabbit called Samson (Sansão). This rabbit, which she loves so dearly, is also a weapon against boys. Monica frequently uses her superhuman-level strength to best neighborhood bullies, most notably Jimmy Five and Smudge.
I deliberately wanted to go against the grain with the team’s strongest member; I didn’t want the team’s muscle to some big, bulky guy; making the powerhouse of the team some huge Crunch McRockAbs would be what everyone would expect. A little 7-year-old who’s a bone-crusher? Sign me up.
4. JUMPY GHOSTFACE (Hero: 108)
Another thing the Fantastic Four has never had is an animal member. Yeah, they had H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot for a brief time, but that doesn’t count. As followers of this site know from past articles, I’m a big fan of Jumpy Ghostface. Like Monica he’s deceptively powerful; able to utilize a jump rope as a weapon and wrap his ears around his head like a ninja mask. I’m big on cutesy characters capable of kicking ass. ‘What’s his super power?’ you ask? You kiddin’? He daydreams battle strategies and solutions, even in the heat of battle, and whoever stares too closely at his swirling eyes while in daydream mode will get swept into his fantasy. Anyone who says imagination isn’t a superpower will get a lengthy lecture from the folks at the Children’s Television Workshop. Plus, I freaking love that name: Jumpy Ghostface. It’s adorably disturbing.
So there you have it. My Fantastic Four. A little off the beaten path, but still unique and entertaining. You’ll also notice that 3/4 of my quartet are female, this is intentional. Male dominated teams are a dime a dozen, again, I wanted to do something different. So now that our team has been assembled, there’s one question that needs to be addressed.
‘HOW SOON UNTIL THEY FACE DOOM???”
Ah, no. Something much more pressing…
Who’s got the keys to the Fantasticar?
Twin Images 
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