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More Hub PM Pondering

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The following is in response to a thread which came up recently in the Toon Zone Entertainment Forum titled  “Other Sitcoms That Should Air on The Hub”. I’m just going to post my 2 cents on the subject here. To avoid confusion, all of the posts from the thread itself will be typed in italic, while my responses will be typed in purple. The OP begins the discussion with:

What do you guys think? I’d hypothetically say something like “Seinfeld” or “Family Matters”.

To which, my brother Damon responded with:

I’d personally like to see The Hub expand its’ horizons to air more than just domestic sitcoms at night, honestly. I’d like to see more sketch and alternative comedies such as SCTV, MST3K, Fernwood/America 2-Night, The Best of Saturday Night Live, The Monkees, Get Smart!, Police Squad!, Mad Movies with the L.A. Connection, etc. Heck, even The Muppet Show, The Jim Henson Hour or Muppets Tonight would make for some nice variety, although the former would probably look horribly dated now.

 
Now, I realize that this will come as a surprise to absolutely no one, but I agree with Damon. I really think that The Hub is severely limiting itself by airing nothing but family-friendly sitcom reruns. They could be doing so much more at night, especially during the hours after 10 PM, after the kids have gone to bed. Channels like Nick at Nite and TBS pretty much have the sitcoms covered, so why not do something a little different on The Hub?

In any case, Seinfeld isn’t a family show, and neither is MST3K, really (especially in later seasons where I understand that they talk about some stuff that wouldn’t exactly be appropriate for a family show).

 

You keep saying that, but I’ve actually seen all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes that were produced for the Sci-Fi Channel, and they weren’t any more raunchy than the that ones made for Comedy Central. The randiest MST3K has ever gotten was in the 1996 theatrical movie, which contained more curse words in the wise cracks than in the average TV episode. Also, unlike you, I’ve actually seen all of the MST3K episodes made for Sci-Fi Channel; I’m not just making assumptions based on something that a little bird told me. If you haven’t actually seen the later seasons of MST3K, then you’re not in a position to determine whether the show is appropriate for family viewing or not. At least see the episodes for yourself before making pat judgments about them. I personally think that MST3K or Rifftrax would make a great addition to The Hub’s PM lineup, and it would certainly add some much needed variety to the channel’s night time schedule.

Police Squad? Considering it was later adapted into the Naked Gun movies, probably not.

Why not? Police Squad originally aired on prime-time and even ran on Nick at Nite for a brief time. If Nickelodeon could air Police Squad, then I see no reason why the series can’t or shouldn’t air on The Hub. And again, we’re not talking about running Police Squad! right after My little Pony. We’re talking about airing the series at night, after the kids have gone to bed, so where’s the harm in that? Plus, kids saw the Naked Gun movies also.

The Hub may have not been using their tagline “a network for kids and their families” for some time now, but that’s what this network still is: “a network for kids and their families”, and I don’t want them to start subverting that, or themselves (by, among other things, resorting to various technicalities) just to cater to only what some older viewers want to see.

 
Again, I fail to see the problem with “catering to what older viewers want to see” during the hours of the night when kids aren’t watching TV. It just doesn’t make sense for The Hub to run kid-friendly programming all night long. Adults want to be entertained also. Most kids’ networks stop programming for children in the evenings because ad buyers don’t want to support anything in those hours, and I don’t understand why it’s OK for Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network to program for adults at night, but it’s somehow not OK for The Hub to do the same. Why should a network risk losing viewers by being forced to placate to an audience that isn’t there just to satisfy some imaginary ideal? I honestly and truly don’t understand this logic.

Seinfeld? What next, Friends? The Big Bang Theory, perhaps (not that I watch any of those three shows, but I know they aren’t family shows)?

You know what I love about you? It’s how with you, everything is always so black-and-white, and gray doesn’t exist at all. With you, it’s either Sesame Street or South Park with absolutely nothing in between. The difference between you and I is that we have different ideas of what does or doesn’t constitute a subversion. You see The Hub airing anything edgier than say, Leave It to Beaver as a subversion, whereas I believe that a middle ground exists and The Hub should try to meet that need.
I’ve never watched Friends myself, and TBS currently owns the broadcasting rights to The Big Bang Theory. As for the prospect of either series being shown on The Hub, I wouldn’t be against that, but I really feel that The Hub needs to expand it’s horizons beyond just airing sitcom reruns. And so what if they’re not family shows? No one’s suggesting that The Hub run Seinfeld on weekday afternoons right after Transformers Rescue Bots. Again, we’re talking about late nights, after the kids have gone to bed. It shouldn’t matter one whit if the content isn’t appropriate for children if said shows are airing at a time when kids aren’t watching TV anyway.

I would suggest older black and white sitcoms from the 1950s, but that would really be pushing it…

 
Ehh…..No offense, but I don’t think that would be a good idea at all. You’d have an easier time trying to split an atom than trying to get today’s generation of kids to watch something in black-and-white, and that 1950s stuff is cornball. My parents grew up with those shows and I’m 44. That stuff was considered to be old hat during my childhood, and I really don’t think that’s the image that Hasbro wants to create for it’s channel. I don’t think that Hasbro wants The Hub to be thought of as the “Jitterbug” of cable channels. The only b&w show that might be worth airing on The Hub is possibly The 3 Stooges, since the recent (2012) movie may have spawned a renewed interest in the franchise.
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Anyways, this is how I would program The Hub’s PM lineup:
I would designate the hours between 7 PM and 10 PM as Family Time. That’s when the family-friendly shows such as Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Family Ties, Mork & Mindy, ALF and The Facts of Life would air. As well as some non-sitcom programs such as Carol Burnett & Friends, The Monkees, The Muppet Show/Muppets Tonight/The Jim Henson Show, Police Squad! Carson’s Comedy Classics, etc.
The hours from 10 PM and onward would be designated as Adult Time. The kids have gone to bed and now The Hub’s line up would get a tad “naughtier”, and by this I don’t mean the likes of South Park, Drawn Together or The Whitest Kids U Know. But rather, I mean just airing some less family-oriented programs such as The Best of Saturday Night, SCTV, Mystery Science Theater 3000/Rifftrax, The Red Green Show, Mad Movies with the LA Connection. Perhaps even some of the former Adult Swim acquisitions such as Home Movies, Baby Blues, Mission Hill and The Oblongs, all of which originally aired in prime-time. Hey, while were at it, why not import some British comedies like Red Dwarf, Black Adder, French & Saunders, My Hero or Monty Python’s Flying Circus?
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I’d watch a lineup like that. How about you?

Talkin’ Nerdy: Hub Needs Moms

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Today on Talkin’ Nerdy I’d like to discuss something which has getting up my craw for some time now, and is really just part of a darker, more disturbing trend that’s been grinding my gears for much of my creative life:  namely, the trend of leaving mother characters out of the fun in fiction, specifically the curious lack of mothers on notable Hub shows.

For instance, take Transformers Rescue Bots….please. OK, that was kind of a cheap shot, but when I first heard about this show and it was compared to the likes of Marvel’s Super Hero Squad Show, I actually thought TRB was going to be lighthearted wacky spoof show a la SHS or Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Instead, we get this somewhat stale show meant to teach kids about safety and clearly and very visibly intended to sell a new wave of Transformers toys to prepubescent boys. Look, I have nothing against safety and lessons about safety; heck, as a kid I received an Officer Friendly coloring book and I liked it well enough, and I understand that it’s show business and many of The Hub’s shows are designed to sell toys, but I have a greater appreciation for the ones that at least try to entertain me a bit in the process of pounding lessons into my head and coaxing me to buy stuff. Rescue Bots‘ biggest crime is that it’s just dull.

It’s second biggest crime is the point of this discussion: OK, the premise of TRB is that these 4 Transformers land on an island town somewhere in Maine called Griffin Rock, where a group of Autobots named Heatwave, Boulder, Blades and Chase respond to Optimus Prime’s message for any active Autobots in space to arrive to Earth. Coming out of a long stasis, learning what became of Cybertron and that they are the only Rescue-Bot team remaining, they are partnered with the Burns family composed of first response rescuers. Together, they learn teamwork and heroism alongside their human friends as they deal with various disasters. Each bot is paired with a different family member relating to what type of vehicle they are: Chase turns into a police car and so is partnered with dad Chief Charlie Burns, Heatwave turns into a fire engine and is partnered with firefighting son Kade Burns, Boulder turns into bulldozer and is partnered with construction engineer son Graham Burns, and Blades turns into a rescue helicopter and is partnered with helicopter pilot daughter Dani Burns. The youngest member of the family, the very blond Cody Burns, is the bland kid protagonist of the show. What’s wrong with this picture? Where’s Mama Burns? Forget where is she, who is she? They never mention a mother or her whereabouts. If Charlie’s a widower or a divorcee, then it must have just happened, since Cody doesn’t appear to be any older than 10. But why does the Burns family not have a mother? Would it have killed the show’s writers to include a mom as part of the team? Actually, from a marketing standpoint, I think I know why: Transformers Rescue Bots is aimed primarily at young boys, who by and large think “girls are icky”, and only a boy with mountain-sized self-esteem would be willing to own a Rescue Bot piloted by a mom. I think the only reason they have a daughter character is to avoid pressure from women’s groups. This show is so overtly boy-centric that the only 2 female characters of any importance on TRB have the androgynous names Dani and Frankie. So while I can see why there’s no Mom Burns, I still think it’s bullocks. If you’re going to put a daughter on the team, then you might as well have a mom. And for anyone who says that moms don’t make good action heroes, Helen Parr/Elastigirl from The Incredibles and Drew Saturday from The Secret Saturdays say hi. Heck, even the Bionic Six had a mom, and she was actually one of the heroes, she didn’t just stay home and bake cookies while the rest of the family was out saving the world.

 

The Transformers Rescue Bots family. But where’s Mom? Is she vacationing on Cyberton or did she just sample some of Sam Witwicky’s college roommate’s brownies??

But, wait: Cody’s platonic little friend Francine “Frankie” Greene doesn’t have a mother either. She has a dad, Doc Greene, but again, no sight, sign or mention of a mom. What the what, Hub? Do the producers of this show have some kind of mother-phobia or something? I could probably see 1 motherless family on the show, but 2? Really?? To add insult to injury, one episode featured a lady scientist whom Doc Greene seemed to have a thing for, and those feelings seemed to be mutual. OK, so it’s all right to have potential girlfriends dangled before the audience’s eyes, but moms are a big no-no? WTH? If the writers are going to give Doc a potential girlfriend, they could’ve just given him a wife to start with, and been done with it.

The Hub’s “Moms are kryptonite” mentality unfortunately isn’t restricted to 1 show on the network. Another guilty party in this alarming trend is Littlest Pet Shop. I actually like LPS so it pains to have to put this show on my hit list, but they’re guilty of the same crime: its’ protagonist, Blythe Baxter, lives with her dad, your typical goofball father Roger Baxter, but Mrs. Baxter is nowhere to be seen and is never mentioned, not even in passing. Even during a series of flashbacks in the “So You Skink You Can Dance”, we see little Blythe and her dad interacting, but still no mom to be seen or heard from anywhere. So was Blythe grown in a test tube or what?? I can at least understand why the Burns family on TRB doesn’t have a mother, though its one of the things I hate most about the show, but I at least get why from a marketing standpoint. Littlest Pet Shop, by contrast, is based on a toy line aimed squarely, if not exclusively, at girls, so I really don’t get why Blythe couldn’t have 2 parents on the show. Part of the reason why Roger is so frequently annoying is that there’s no contrast; the household needs a somewhat more competent parent to provide a counterbalance to Roger’s goofiness. It’s like having the Odd Couple with only Oscar. Heck, I would even take a goofy embarrassing mom over no mom at all. And what’s more, the show’s rivals/frenemy characters, Whitney and Britney Biskit, likewise don’t have a mother. They’re constantly mentioning their father, Fisher Biskit, whose even made a couple of appearances on the show, but again no mother. At first I though maybe Mrs. Biskit was just perpetually off-camera, but then the episode “Bakers and Flakers” aired, and the only parent to show up at the school bake-off was Fisher, basically confirming that the Biskits are likewise motherless.*

The closest thing Littlest Pet Shop has to a mother figure is the character of Blythe’s friend Youngmee Song’s Aunt Christie, but as her title implies, Christie is Youngmee’s aunt, not her mother. Though given her quasi-maternal relationship with her niece and also how so far we have yet to see any of Youngmee’s other adult relatives, the LPS writers could have easily made Christie Youngmee’s mom and it wouldn’t have altered the stories in any way. But apparently protagonists on Hub shows can’t have moms or else it would split the Earth in two. Even an upcoming Hub acquisition, Wizards VS Aliens, features a lead character who lives with his dad and grandma. So grandmothers are OK, but mothers? That’s the line, right? Got it, Hub.

 

Roger Baxter and his daughter Blythe, who was sculpted from magical clay on the island of Themyscira. Hey, show me where Blythe’s mom is and I’ll take it back.

I’m just going to say this right now, if you haven’t guessed already: I hate single fathers in fiction. The Dead/Missing Mom trope is one of my least favorite cliches in fiction, and it’s one I’ve vowed to never employ as a writer. Why, you may ask? I can’t provide a better answer than Jason, who when asked the same question, responded with this: “Because I like marriage humor and MILFs, and with single dads, you don’t get either.” I can’t speak for Transformers Rescue Bots, as I don’t proactively follow that show nor do I regularly converse with its’ fans, but I know that I’m not the only one who’s been asking about the identity or whereabouts of Blythe’s mother. It’s probably a subject that the show’s writers have no plans of ever addressing unless they’re pressured to by fans, similar to the question of whatever happened to Chuckie’s mother on Rugrats; the producers largely ignored this question but fans persisted in asking about it, so the producers were finally forced to acknowledge it and change the status quo accordingly, first with a Mother’s Day special, then by making it the plot of the 3rd movie. I don’t know if LPS needs to go that far, but it wouldn’t kill them to address it at least once, like, say, have Blythe lament “I miss Mom” in some given scene. Of course, if they had given Blythe a mom in the first place, they wouldn’t have to do anything.

Finally, I’d like to give an honorable mention to Dreamworks’ The Croods. It remains to be seen how well this movie will perform at the box office, but I’ll give Dreamworks one iota of credit in regards to the mother of the cave family, Ugga, namely, that they actually have a mother! In far too many animated family movies of this ilk, the mother is just straight-up dead before the movie even starts, but Dreamworks avoided that cliche here, and for that, I’m grateful. If we can see this tired old trope continue to get snuffed out over time, I’ll be a happier camper.

*ADDENDUM: In the subsequent seasons since this article was written, Hasbro has since rectified their ‘no mother’ situation on Littlest Pet Shop at least. Season 4 featured the first ever on-camera mention of Blythe’s mom Betty, and in an admittedly clever bit of comedy, in this same season it was also revealed that Whittany and Brittany Biskit also indeed have a mother. Furthermore, the writers turned the Biskits’ mom Eliza’s sudden appearance into an in-universe joke, implying that Eliza Biskit had been there all along and we the audience had simply never seen her before. Jason plans on doing a full retrospective on LPS’ 4th (and evidently, final) season sometime after season 4 is complete, but in the meantime…

Eliza_Biskit

Good on ya, Hasbro. Well played.

What the Hub?!

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THIS JUST IN: Disney Channel and Disney X-D Networks executive Nikki Reed has been named Senior Vice President, Programming & Development for The Hub Network, the fastest growing children’s cable network, it was announced today by Margaret Loesch, President & CEO of The Hub, to whom she will report. The Hub Network is a joint venture of Discovery Communications and Hasbro, Inc. 

Ms. Reed succeeds Donna Ebbs who served as The Hub’s first programming chief and helped launch the network in October 2010. Ms. Ebbs has transitioned to a new role as a consultant and an executive producer for The Hub and is responsible for pursuing and developing several new properties and securing unique production opportunities for the network.

“Nikki Reed’s background as both a producer and an executive at top-level entertainment companies like Disney, NBC Universal, and Touchstone Television makes her the perfect person to lead our development and programming during this unprecedented time of growth for The Hub,” said Ms. Loesch. “Donna Ebbs built an incredible creative team that helped shape The Hub in its first two years on the air. Moving forward, Nikki’s experience and creativity is the right blend to lead this team as we grow The Hub into the primary destination for programming that children and their parents watch together.”


“The Hub is in a period of tremendous growth as it becomes a leader in the kids and family space,” said Ms. Reed. “Our goal is to utilize my relationships with writers, producers and talent to grow The Hub’s existing slate of programming and enhance it with more live-action series. I am excited to work with Margaret and The Hub team to carry out the creative vision to make smart, entertaining shows that appeal to both children and their parents.”

Ms. Reed is responsible for planning, directing and executing the network’s programming strategy, as well as working with Ms. Loesch and the network’s senior management team on creative development and overall strategic planning and direction.


Ms. Reed has more than 15 years of experience developing feature films and television series, including live-action series geared towards kids, tweens and families on Disney Channel and Disney X-D, as well as numerous platforms around the world. Among the series she developed at Disney are “Jessie,” “Austin and Ally,” “Dog with a Blog,” “Lab Rats,” and “Crash and Bernstein.”

Prior to joining Disney, Ms. Reed was the Vice President of Current and Development at Universal Cable Productions. She also spent five years as a development executive for executive producer Barry Kemp’s Bungalow 78 Productions while it was based at Touchstone Television. Previously, she served as Vice President of Development for director Jon Turteltaub’s Junction Entertainment for Disney Studios. There she spearheaded the development of the feature films “National Treasure” starring Nicholas Cage and “The Kid” starring Bruce Willis. In 2005, Ms. Reed served as an executive producer on the feature film “Invincible” starring Mark Wahlberg.

Naturally, upon hearing this news, people on the interwebz are having a hissy-fit because they’re afraid that a former Disney Channel exec taking the reins of The Hub’s programming will mean that the channel’s entire lineup, animated hits and all, will be nerfed in favor of live-action teencoms like Dog with a Blog and Good Luck Charlie. Personally, I’m taking a cautious “wait and see” approach to this. Why? Here’s my take:

While it is a potentially off-putting truism that Ms. Reed’s history is predominantly in live-action and she’s coming to The Hub, a channel largely dominated by animation currently, I honestly don’t think that the toy-based animated shows are in any danger. As I pointed out in “A Failure to Communicate…and See the Truth”, The Hub is first and foremost a toy company. The whole reason Hasbro launched this whole venture with Discovery Communications in the first place was so they could have a launchpad for shows and movies based on their cadre of toy and game franchises, so the likes of My Little Pony, Pound Puppies, Littlest Pet Shop, Transformers Prime, Transformers Rescue Bots and the like aren’t going anywhere. Those shows are the main reason why The Hub exists; they earn great ratings, and more importantly in Hasbro’s eyes, they drive toy sales. My guess is that the reasoning behind this move is that The Hub is trying to bring in more viewers and is trying to find some more solid rating grabbers to increase their audience, but they’re not likely to alienate their current audience since they are still dedicated to toys. This could, mind you, could mean that the channel may be relying less on acquired 3rd party reruns like Animaniacs and The Super Hero Squad Show, which wouldn’t really be such a bad thing, at least not to me; I already own the A! DVDs and SHS has looped all of its’ episodes a few times already. As for the prospect of  “focusing on live-action series”, well that depends on the type of shows Ms. Reed has in mind and where and how much of them she plans to implement; while it’s true that I consider shows such as Good Luck Charlie, Dog with a Blog and Shake it Up to be twaddle and an entire schedule of those kinds of sitcoms would indeed be terrible for a good network, a smattering of a few of them here and there around the schedule wouldn’t be that bad, provided The Hub’s original vision isn’t lost and these live-action shows (whatever they end up being) don’t take over the channel. It would be a heck of a lot better than just looping the same 5 movies over and over again every month. While I personally can’t stomach most of Disney Channel’s live-action ventures, the sad truth is that they do put butts into seats, and if the addition of such shows were to bring more permanent viewers to The Hub, that would mean higher ratings and more money, money which could conceivably be used to produce more original series for the channel, both animated as well as live-action, hopefully.

Also keep in mind that it’s not a given that Ms. Reed will simply try to copy the sort of shows that got made under her watch at Disney here, as that may not prove to be the best strategy. Hasbro undoubtedly wants The Hub wants to carve out its’ own niche, not be thought of as Disney Channel 2.

What I really hope this means is that The Hub will finally be spicing up their nighttime lineup. I’ve mentioned this a few times already here, but The Hub’s PM schedule sucks noodles. I never watch The Hub at night because absolutely nothing that The Hub runs at night interests me in the slightest. Shortly before this announcement, The Hub released the news that they would be acquiring reruns of Who’s the Boss? in April. My reaction: “Another old fluffy family sitcom from 20+ years ago. Yay.” The Hub could be doing so much more than just trying to ape early 90’s Nick @ Nite. On this someone remarked: The Hub is trying to follow in the footsteps of Nick at Nite and have their prime time line-up consist of type of programming that their adult viewers remembered watching when they were kids/teens (be it live action shows on syndication or hit cartoons of the 1980’s and 1990’s).” Yeah, here’s the thing about that: animated shows aside, I never watched this crap when I was a teen. I thought shows like The Facts of Life, Family Ties and Who’s the Boss? were trite when they were new. You know what I watched as a teenager? The Young Ones, Red Dwarf, SCTV, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, The Black Adder, French & Saunders. The only network sitcoms I watched during that time were Newhart and Night Court. I see so much wasted potential on the PM Hub; Hasbro could be offering so much of a variety: not just my idea of alternative comedy (though I still think that’s a great idea), but also new game shows, new action/adventure shows, sketch/variety, etc. I’m not saying that The Hub should abandon the old sitcoms if they’re pulling in ratings, but why should that be the only thing they run at night? Like I mentioned in “Point and Laugh at Retro-Snobbery”, classic TV is nice and all, but it doesn’t equal huge ratings, and The Hub knows this, hence whey they’re mking this move in the first place. If Ms. Reed can inject some much needed life in The Hub’s nighttime schedule, then I welcome our new overlord.

Basically, I have to see what’s to come before I start playing Taps for this channel just yet. I really need to see what sort of shows get ordered and the pilots which get greenlit before I can say conclusively whether this is a regrettable move or not. As long as the likes of The Aquabats Super Show! and Littlest Pet Shop remain intact, I’m fine with it.

Considering Cartoon Planet – Part 2 (Addendum)

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This is a brief post in regards to Damon’s “Considering Cartoon Planet” article. In particular, I’d like to respond to one poster on Toon Zone’s suggestions for the CP block. Same deal as before. The original poster’s words will be typed in italic.

I gotta say Cartoon Planet returning this year is a dream come true for me! (Well, not entirely, since it is not exactly Cartoon CARTOON Fridays from 1999-2007, but this is good enough) At least it really reminds of the format of The Cartoon Cartoon Show. Now if they could just add: What-A-Cartoon!, Mike, Lu, and Og, Sheep, (if they can ever find a way to fit that in there.) Time Squad, Robot Jones, Foster’s’s 22-min. episodes, Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi, (If I remember correctly, that series had gone back to the original Cartoon Cartoons’ 3 segment format.) Juniper Lee, (Again, just like Sheep) Squirrel Boy, Class of 3000 (and to a lesser extent, Out of Jimmy’s Head (it wasn’t that bad) (AGAIN, like Sheep and Juniper Lee). Forgive me for being so choosy, but I just love these shows (and the ones currently airing on the block) so much and would just love to see them air again. (Maybe with the Cartoon Cartoon theme!)

Allow me to address each of these point individually. In regards to What-A-Cartoon, while it’s true that Cartoon Network Studios still owns several of the WAC shorts, the network isn’t likely to air them on Cartoon Planet, nor is there any reason for them to, since it’s at this point it’s very unlikely that any of them are going to be made into series.

Hi-Hi Puffy Ami Yumi* and Class of 3000 – No. Both shows feature caricatures of living performers (on PAY, while the real life Ami & Yumi didn’t provide the voices of their cartoon counterparts, they did make appearances at the beginning and end of every episode, while on Co3K, Sunny Bridges was a caricature of Andre Benjamin, who provided the character’s voice) and so CN would have to pay those performers a royalty for their likenesses to be used. Also, each episode of Class was 22 minutes long, which would take up half the show. Same deal with Sheep in the Big City and The Life and Times of Juniper Lee.

*On the subject of which, there’s something that I’d like to address: Hi-Hi Puffy Ami Yumi is NEVER coming back to Cartoon Network. Ever. I’m tired of reading comments from would be conspiracy theorists about why the show got canceled and that the show was so smegging huge when it was running and how CN is dropping hints that PAY might come back to CN. Puffy‘s cancellation had nothing to do with politics or with CN’s attitude towards races and cultures; PAY was canceled because the show wasn’t very good and it didn’t get the desired ratings. Where was all this fan loyalty for PAY when it was on the air? If the shows’ ratings were really so freaking huge, then CN wouldn’t have canceled the show so suddenly. It’s done. Puffy Ami Yumi are just another J-Pop band who had their 15 minutes of fame here the States by performing the theme song for Teen Titans: TAS. But neither TT or PAY are relevant anymore. CN initially hoped (or intended) for PAY to be the network’s next “Girl Power” series after The Powerpuff Girls, but that didn’t happen, and CN’s hasn’t cared about PAY ever since. The fact that Ami & Yumi were among the characters pictured in CN’s 20th Anniversary photo is proof of nothing. CN doesn’t care about that show anymore and it’s never going to air on CN ever again.

There, I said it. I feel better. Moving on…

 Out of Jimmy’s Head (it wasn’t that bad)

    Yes, it was, but that’s just my opinion, which doesn’t carry the weight of sunlight. Allow me to now give several reasons why Out of Jimmy’s Head will NEVER air on Cartoon Planet:

    1. Each episode of Out of Jimmy’s Head was 22 minutes long, and a half hour episode would take up half the show.
    2. OOJH wasn’t a cartoon; it was a live action kidcom lightly sprinkled with some animation. A live action series would have no business airing as part of a block titled CARTOON Planet. There’s no reason for CN to devote half of Cartoon Planet to 22 minutes almost completely devoid of animation.
    3.  OOJH wasn’t a Cartoon-Cartoon. See above.
    4. OOJH sucked duck butter. The series was a critical and commercial failure. The show bombed so hard that CN is still picking up the shrapnel 7 years later. The show was such a failure that CN hasn’t attempted a scripted comedy since (unless one counts Incredible Crew, which is a sketch comedy). The OOJH episodes were removed from iTunes after 3 weeks because nobody was buying them. You can’t even see any episodes of OOJH for free on YouTube, fer cryin’ out loud! What reason would CN possible have to want to re-air that stinker of a show? Except maybe as a prank for April Fool’s Day?

    Let’s face it, folks, Out of Jimmy’s Head will never air on CN proper ever again. Maybe, maybe the reruns of OOJH will come to Boomerang someday, but seeing as how shows like The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Sheep in the Big City, Time Squad, Camp Lazlo, My Gym Partner’s a Monkey and Squirrel Boy still have yet to air on Boomerang, I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for that to happen either.

    Considering Cartoon Planet

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    While lurking on Toon Zone, I came across some interesting comments and opinions regarding Cartoon Network’s Cartoon Planet block. I’d like to address some of them with my own spin on things. As per usual, the original comments will be printed in italics, while mine will be in regular type.

    “I would like to see some Squirrel Boy on the block. Again, CP should be 2 hrs. I want to see full Foster’s and if they add it, Sheep episodes.”
     
    “Not just Sheep, but I’d also like to see Mike, Lu & Og to the block. It’s been awhile since Boomerang has aired it, it’d been doing so on/off.”
     
    “They could extend it an hour, making it 2hrs long, then we might have room for thirty minute episodes of stuff, like Foster’s and the like.”
     
     
    A lot of people have made the above suggestion, but there’s a very obvious roadblock to that plan that no one ever seems to consider: namely, that Adult Swim starts at 9PM. If CN were to expand Cartoon Planet to 2 hours, then it would have to begin at 7PM, since CN becomes AS at 9. Unless Turner would be willing to push AS back an hour for an extra hour of CN on Friday nights, which I know they wouldn’t be; heaven forbid that Turner ever dial back on Seth MacFarlane time. Another reason I don’t see a CP expansion happening is simply that the block isn’t that popular or successful; it’s doing well enough, but not extremely well. Face it, retro fans, Cartoon Planet isn’t setting the world on fire. CP is a block driven by nostalgia, which has niche appeal and a limited shelf life. A continuous loop of reruns gets old after a while. It doesn’t help matters that the cartoons which air on CP seem to stay locked in a Mobius strip: the Dexter’s Lab, Powerpuff Girls, Chowder, Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack and Ed, Edd ‘n’ Eddy shorts have yet to go beyond season 1, and many fans contend that a lot of these shows, Ed3 in particular, didn’t really find their grooves and start to really take off until after their freshman seasons. (Except for Chowder, whose first season was clearly its’ best.)
    Also, an expanded CP would mean that CN would have to make new Brak & Zorak bumps, which they don’t seem to be in a hurry to do; they’ve only made about 2 new bumpers since the block came back.
    Let’s be real here: the only reason that Cartoon Planet is still on Friday nights is because everything else CN has put on Fridays has failed; if the action cartoons had managed to put enough butts into seats and could’ve held their own against Disney Channel’s Friday night premieres, then action would still be running on Fridays. CN’s original comedy premieres could possibly hold their own on Fridays, but then CN wouldn’t have anything to air on Monday and Tuesday nights. CP is basically filler that fulfills a need and does OK, just well enough to keep a relative number of viewers tuning in, but not well enough for the block to be expanded.
    As for the prospect of CP acquiring shows like Sheep in the City, Whatever Happened to Robot Jones?, Time Squad, Squirrel Boy and the like, it’s a good idea, but I don’t see it happening. For whatever reason, these shows have all been swept under the rug by CN’s big brass and nowadays The Powers That Be at Cartoon Network don’t even like to talk about these shows anymore. It’s a shame too; I’m not saying that all of these shows are great, but adding them to the regular rotation would definitely add some much needed variety to the block. CP got a little better when they began airing Robotomy, The Problem Solverz and Secret Mountain Fort Awesome, but there aren’t any of those shorts scheduled for the month of March. I don’t know if this is due to low ratings or just bad fan reaction to them, but I’m sure the fact that the network aired the same Robotomy short twice in succession didn’t help garnish support for these shows.
    “The least CN could do is add new bumpers to the block. I also want to see the network to add repeats of the show on early Saturday or/and Sunday mornings.”
    To the first point, heck yeah. However, going through the trouble of making new bumps for CP would imply that CN actually cares about the block, which of course they don’t. To the second, repeating CP on weekends isn’t going to happen either, for the same aforementioned reason: the block just isn’t successful enough to warrant such a move. Also, Saturday mornings have been designated for action, and like it or not, Pokemon, Bakugan and Beyblade do better than repeats of Cow & Chicken and Courage, the Cowardly Dog. Face it, folks, Cartoon Planet isn’t a groundbreaking boon to CN; it’s a medium between airing something and just running white noise for an hour.
    “Yup. Pretty much everyone wanted to see some new shows or a block expansion for CP. Not new new shows, but shows like that.”
     
    I’ll hand this one over to my brother Jason, who has this to say:
    *shakes head* Well, yes and no. A 2 hour comedy block on Cartoon Network’s Friday night prime-time lineup in the tradition of Cartoon-Cartoon Fridays would be great, but if CN were to launch such a block, I would much rather have new shows premiering on the block than 2 hours of Cartoon Planet, even if that would mean seeing half hour episodes of Foster’s and Sheep in the Big City again. Sorry, but new shows trump reruns every time. At the very least, said block consist of premieres for the 1st hour, and then devote the 2nd hour to reruns. Reruns aren’t going to topple the comedy premieres on the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. If action cartoon premieres couldn’t bring CN up from 3rd place on Friday nights, then there’s no way that 2 hours of CN nostalgia could.
     
    “Anyone notice they’ve been cropping the intros? Seems like whenever they do something right, they have to nerf it right when it begins.
     
    Seriously, are they just TRYING to bribe us and then negotiate the wrong way?
     
    They really need to stop cropping the intros. Doesn’t matter if they’re doing it so they can get more cash or just trying to piss us off, but that needs to stop. Spongebob never had his intro cropped, and neither has the Fairly Odd Parents. Cheapskates.”
     
    Somebody call the waaahmbulnce. The network doesn’t crop the intros to bribe us (I don’t even know how such a thing to be possible) or to piss us off; they do it because they also have to air the Zorak and Brak wraparounds as well as make room for commercial breaks. There just isn’t enough time to do all that and run the full intros for each individual cartoon. Remember the Cartoon-Cartoon Top 5? There the intros were skipped entirely and they just went straight to the title cards. Would you rather they cut 2 or 3 minutes from the cartoons themselves? Seriously, cropping the intros isn’t that big a deal. Get over it.
    “I hope we’ll also get to see the likes of What A Cartoon!, Whatever Happened To Robot Jones?, 2 Stupid Dogs, The Herculoids, Space Ghost, SWAT Kats or Birdman at some point. All have a few 6/7/11/12 min. segments that could air.”
     
    Robot Jones we’ve already covered above; it could air on the block, but since CN has been disallowing that show’s existence for years now, don’t expect it to turn up on CP, or anywhere else for that matter, anytime soon.
    CN doesn’t seem to have any interest in airing any of the What-A-Cartoon! shorts which haven’t been made into series, since the main purpose of WAC! was to audition pilots for potential new shows. If CN were going to do that, there are also plenty of unaired shorts from Cartoonstitute which they could run on CP.
    While it was indeed a comedy, 2 Stupid Dogs wasn’t a Cartoon-Cartoon, and therefore it would be out-of-place on a block which is basically a ‘Best of CN’ showcase. Keep in mind that 2SD wasn’t made specifically for CN, but rather was launched on TBS and in syndication, so it wouldn’t be a good fit on this incarnation of CP, plain and simple. Again, CN could also start airing Looney Tunes and Tom & Jerry shorts on CP as well if the plan was to deviate from the all Cartoon Network original comedies format.
    *Ironically, if Cartoon Planet ever did start incorporating 2 Stupid Dogs, Looney Tunes and Tom & Jerry shorts, it would be more like the original Cartoon Planet, only with no Space Ghost or Andy Merrill frolicking around in a Space Ghost costume.
    Swat Kats, no, just no. CP is a comedy block, action cartoons have no place on it. Also, most of the Swat Kats episodes were 22 minutes; a half-hour cartoon would take up half the show.
    Space Ghost, Herculoids, Birdman and the like, again no. In addition to being action shows, and not Cartoon Network originals, those cartoons are waaay too old; they wouldn’t secure CN the audience it wants, or so they believe. Nowadays those shows are only appropriate for Boomerang; I could only see them airing on CP if the show were to deliberately make fun of them, by inserting fake catcalls, ‘oohs’, ‘aahs’ and ‘Oh yeah!”s like they used to do when they would sometimes air after Space Ghost: Coast to Coast on Sunday nights.