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Pop Dream #5: Blissa, Taffy & Tawny

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We’re coming down to the end, folks. Here’s the final Barbie Dream House Pop Dream.

Yes, this is the final installment of this Pop Dream series, but no, this is not the end of the segment. Pop Dream will go on, but the next installment will focus on a completely different set of characters from an altogether different show or franchise. Who will be the subjects of the next Pop Dream? Even we don’t know yet, though we have some potential candidates; also, the next installment of Pop Dreams will either be done by myself, or by Jason, or possibly by both of us depending on the show and who writes up the actual entries. Until then, let’s wrap up our look at Dream House residents.

But what’s that, you ask? We’ve already covered Barbie herself…

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“Sparkle, sparkle!”

…And each of her Fab Sisters…

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“Groovin’…on a Sunday afternoon…”

…So who’s left?

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Barbie’s pets, obviously!

Today’s Pop Dream is all about the most privileged pets on Earth, Blissa the cat, Taffy the dog and Tawny the horse.

OVERVIEW

The Dream House pets live a life unparalleled by any other small mammal. As Barbie’s pets, they dine on the most exquisite kibbles and oats, sleep and lounge on imported designer pillows, play with the most expensive pet toys and are groomed by the finest groomers in the land.

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“Ah’m guessin’ those pets even get PET-icures!”

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“Ah’ll, uh, show muhself out.”

This has made these 3 a tad soft, temperamental and spoiled, to put it mildly, but they still find room in their day for shenanigans.

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“Hey listen, if somebody calls mentioning something about their sparrows getting devoured, it wasn’t us! We’ll be on your bed. No calls.”

APPEARANCES

There’s not much to cover with these characters in terms of appearance, since we’re talking about naked animals; basically, Taffy is a yellow Labrador Retriever…

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“Doubt it? Well get her a Labrador, an’ she’ll retrieve it for ya!”

…Blissa is a pure white purebred, and Tawny is a blue-eyed Palomino.

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My Not-So Little Pony

One fashion statement they all share is that they each bear their mistress’ symbol somewhere on their accoutrements.

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“That’s the brand!”

PERSONALITIES

While all 3 of the pets are equally sheltered, they each possess their own unique traits:

Tawny is by her mistress’s side with just a whistle. Living the fab life with Barbie has certainly gone to her head. She is lovably neurotic about her looks — from her immaculate mane to her designer horseshoes.

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“Hey, she made sure I got satellite TV and air conditioning in the stable. Mama knows where her bread is buttered!”

Her likes include long gallops on the beach, being brushed and groomed, carrots with sugar, apples with sugar, sugar with sugar. Her dislikes include Flies, mosquitoes, empty food troughs, muddy boots, chilly stables—brrrr! Tawny’s stats include 20 carrot (with sugar) cravings a day, 6 warm blankets owned, 214 beach runs with Barbie and 10 piano concerts given (no small feat considering she has no fingers).

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Blissa, the fickle feline, always purrs for Barbie, but everyone else has to be on alert. She’ll either snuggle up with Dreamhouse guests or turn their pant legs into scratching posts. This is because…

Blissa is only nice to people sometimes, but she’s always nice to Barbie. Likes: Napping, eating, eating more, napping again, pink pedis, pamper days, tuna fish. Dislikes: Water, a ball of yarn, bugs, snakes, climbing trees, dry crunchy cat food. She boasts 15 pink mani/pedis, 83 fave nap spots, 1 fab kitty bed and 83 scratch marks on the furniture.

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Taffy isn’t just fond of the finer things like filet mignon and doggy spas, but also has a sophisticated taste for art and literature. She loves nothing more than a good chew toy, classical music and a nice long belly rub. She likes Playing fetch, being petted, naps, barking at the mailman, fire hydrants, doggie treats, dinnertime. She dislikes being bored, a short leash, loud vacuums, thunderstorms and an empty food dish. Her stats include 10 flying discs, 1 fab doggie bed, 5,823 balls chased and 1,384 buried bones.

-She also has a love interest in the form of Ken’s dog Hudson, echoing Barbie and Ken’s relationship, but we’re not going to show you that because this is a family blog, so we won’t taint things with images of dog-on-dog action.

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I didn’t mean to dog you out!

FUNNIER MOMENTS

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“When the Cat’s Away”: Blissa is doing her best to ditch Chelsea, who’s eager to play dress-up with her. She ducks into Barbie’s Labyrinthian closest, leading to an all-out manhunt, or rather, cat-hunt, as Barbie, Ken and Tawny hunt for Chelsea while Chelsea hunts for Blissa. Highlights include Tawny smashing through the wall when Barbie whistles for her and the discovery that Barbie’s closet has its’ own beach area. Barbie eventually finds Chelsea and Chelsea finds Blissa, still with dress-up on her mind, so it ends happily…for the most part.

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“Persistent, aren’t we??”

“Mission Impawsible”: the pets sneak out for a day on the town while Barbie and Ken are on a date. They nearly get spotted on a few occasions, once at the movie theater having just seen the horror-thriller Paws, which leaves Taffy and Tawny shaking, but not Blissa…

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“I’ve seen worse. I’ve done worse!”

…And again while driving (!) to beat Barbie and Ken home.

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You can tell Taffy’s panicking; normally she wouldn’t be riding in a car at top speed without letting her tongue flap in the breeze.

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They also nearly get spotted at the lemonade shop. (Watch the short for a brief glimpse of a frustrated Raquelle working there!)

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“Happy Bathday to You”: It’s Bath Day and the pets do everything in their power to avoid the scrubbing brush, including eating and shredding Barbie’s calendars and day planners, hiding in plain sight…

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HE-MAN CAMEO!

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…To making a hasty getaway in a golf cart, which Tawny at the wheel. The drive away from the sisters…only to plunge straight into a tub that Barbie’s placed in the hall. No one ever said Tawny could drive well.

CONCLUSION

Wacky cut-up pets are often the icing on the cake in domestic comedies, and part of me really digs that Barbie has her own cabal of pets. It’s also cool that Blissa, Taffy and Tawny are all female; it’s a nice change of pace to see female comic-relief animals, since usually animal toon stars are almost always male.

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Well that concludes our Pop Dream all about the Roberts Sisters. Next time…

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…Something completely different.

What The Funny #5: Popcorn Pandemonium

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howdy-doody

“Hey, kids! What time is it?”

Time for more What The Funny!

Well, this is it, folks. The last of my Rocko’s Modern Life favorite short breakdowns.

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Yeah, I know that there are many more Rocko shorts that I could cover here, but as I said back at the very first segment, I don’t want to get bogged down with doing every single episode of RML; I’m only doing my absolute favorite shorts. I’m about ready to move on to another show or franchise to cover, and I think that 5 is a good round number to stop on. Now just so we’re clear, this isn’t the last WTF; it’s just the last one that I’ll be doing for this particular series. We don’t know what the next one will be just yet, although we have some ideas. And it may be myself, or Damon or even both of us doing the next crop of WTFs.

Anyway….on with the merriment. Here’s Popcorn Pandemonium

POPCORN PANDEMONIUM

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Synopsis: In this episode Rocko dreams of going to a drive-in movie, but he and Heffer settle on the local movie theater.

Highlights:

The short starts with Rocko and Heffer in the car watching TV through Ed Bighead’s window. Rocko is annoyed because this is not tantamount to watching a movie at a real drive-in. Heffer uses a remote control to change the channel to a scary movie and Bighead changes the channel back to his program. Soon, Heffer and Bighead continuously flicker the TV channels back and forth, which cause Bighead’s TV to explode.

Heffer suggests that he and Rocko should go to Googa Plex Cinemas, a local movie theater that offers numerous amount of movies. The two pay roughly $100 for two tickets and buy their refreshments (while waiting hours in a long line). Heffer is caught sneaking his own snacks into the theater.

The Googa Plex Cinema has many theaters, all of them showing the same movie: “Lethal Odor IX”.

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They enter a movie theater, only to find that they mistakenly entered a restroom. I hate it when that happens!

One running gag that I like is that the staff at Googa Plex are all wearing shirts identical to Rocko’s, and because of this, Rocko is continually mistaken for an employee.

Rocko: (to the cashier) Might I say, that’s a very dapper shirt you’re wearing!

Cashier: Yeah, management makes us wear these stupid things!

Rocko and Heffer go to theater #42, where we’re treated to this exchange:

Rocko (to an employee): Excuse me, where’s theater #42?

Employee: You should know, man. You work here!

Rocko: I don’t work here.

Employee: Me neither, unless the boss is watching.

Rocko and Heffer see the a preview of the family movie “The Cuddly Little Poots” Guest starring the super hero Really, Really Big Man.

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Then there’s a preview withing the preview telling the audience to watch for the Cuddly Little Poots on a World War II submarine, in the feature “Das Poot”! This pun is so bad that even the characters in the theater collectively groan at it.

Next, we get a trailer for “Garbage Strike: The Musical”, which is a parody of the Disney feature, Newsies, a 1992 musical about striking paperboys.

There’s also a preview for the movie “Lang Chow: Gerbil of Death” complete with bad dubbing. We also see Lang Chow eating breakfast.

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“For a Shaolin monk, you’re Kung-Fu is really lousy!”

After a preview of a movie about Dracula’s demise, the movie blurs out before it shows the feature presentation. Filburt, the movie director, listens to the guests’ complaining and hit his head on the top of the opening of the window, causing his glasses to fall off his face and reflect the light of the movie projector to start a fire, which trails through the carpet and into the popcorn storage room. This causes the popcorn to overflow through the building and Rocko and Heffer run out just in time to make it to the car. But when they find that the overflowing popcorn has caused the building to collapse, they find that it has become a drive-in and stay to watch the film. As the popcorn continues to overflow, the Garbage Rats from the film appear and sing their strike song.

Popcorn Pandemonium wasn’t a complicated plot. Rather, it was mostly a series is spot gags with a continuing theme. This short had an old-school Looney Tunes feel to it, and I’m a big enough Looney Tunes nerd to appreciate that.

My Rating: 4 out of 5.

Next time: A completely different show! Stay funny.

Player Two Start!: Favorite Street Fighter 5 Stages

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Today Player Two Start looks at Street Fighter 5.

street-fighter-v

Five for Fighting

More accurately, we’ll be looking at some of the background arenas from the game. From Street Fighter‘s inception, the artwork and animations for the game have gotten progressively more intricate, detailed and beautiful, and SF5 is no exception. I like to just watch the game being played so I can scope out the stages and cool stuff going on in the background (yeah, I’m that person). Today I’ll be spotlighting my favorite arenas from SF5. As is often the case with posts like this, these are just my personal favorite arenas; you may have your own choices…

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“And that’s…OK.”

And again, these aren’t in any particular order, so they won’t be numbered. That said, let’s press start.

LAIR OF THE FOUR KINGS

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Located inside Shadaloo Headquarters, this stage is is an enormous dome-shaped room with various high-tech computers on both ends. In the background, a massive set of Mount Rushmore-style statues can be seen, depicting the Four Kings of Shadaloo.

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You wish.

These statues depict Balrog, M. Bison, Vega, and F.A.N.G (or Sagat depending on the mode), the Four Kings of Shadaloo; Bison is holding the world, positioned near the center of the area, in his hand. Closer to the foreground, there is an ongoing battle between Shadaloo forces and a group of Special Forces agents, with a ninja and spacesuit-clad Shadaloo agents chasing each other.

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In F.A.N.G’s story mode fight with M. Bison, his statue is replaced with one of Sagat, since it takes place at a time when Sagat had not yet been replaced within Shadaloo.

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“Sagat….YOOOOOOOOOU’RE FIRED!!!”

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When a character is knocked out in the right corner of the stage, the person will fall and hit the face on the hand of a M. Bison statue, which unleashes Psycho Power on the victim. When knocked on the left corner, the character hits a screen that displays data about the one that touched it. And let’s not overlook that massive drop waiting for someone to fall though it.

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“Watch that first step, it’s a Lulu! Ha-ha-ha-hah-AAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! -Sorry, I just thought of something funny.”

HIGH ROLLER CASINO

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Let it ride!

This stage, set in front of a casino owned by Shadaloo, is an awesome re-imagining of the Las Vegas stage from the Street Fighter II games. However, the changes made to the stage is the neon sign in the background that used to say “Golden Nugget: Nin-Nin Ball” was changed to “Golden Bullion: Shadaloo Ball”. Some of the other neon signs from the original version are absent.  Don Sauvage and Max can be seen in the background. I like how they kept the young ladies with the top hats.

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“Say, can ya lend me some scratch so I can get back on the tables? C’mon! I know I’ve lost my empire and I’ve crapped out 20 times in a row tonight, but I’m due for a hot streak! C’mon! I’ll take anything! You like pants? I’ll give ya my pants!!”

KANZUKI ESTATE

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The Kanzuki Estate is Karin’s family estate (duh!) which originally appeared in the Sakura Ganbaru! manga. The stage has two settings, its day setting is called Estate at Noon.

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It’s 12 in the afternoon. Time to get up.

The manga depicts the Kanzuki family’s estate as so large, it doesn’t just have its own rivers, mountains, and savannas, it has its own climate as well. Even though it’s in the middle of Tokyo, visitors don’t arrive by car, they arrive by chartered plane and land at the private airstrip near the mansion. The estate also has its own train station (a green and red sign can be seen on the top of a building, where a train is moving). The Kanzukis’ enormous swimming pool has a yacht with a pool on the deck in it, like in Karin’s stage from Street Fighter Alpha 3.

The estate’s architecture is a mix of both Japanese and European (possibly French) architecture.

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“Aye, the .01 percent. It’s great to be stupid rich!”

Speaking of…

KANZUKI BEACH

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Sun Fun!

Karin’s family is so smegging rich, that she has 2 personal stages. This stage depicts her family’s private beach.

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Several bikini-clad women can be seen in the background; among them are the Judgment Girls from the Street Fighter III games, as well as Tiffany Lords and Hinata Wakaba from the Rival Schools series. I’m not a crossover fanatic, but I do think it’s kind of cool how Street Fighter, Rival Schools, Darkstalkers and Final Fight all take place in the same universe.

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“Whoa, Mama! Muh Speedoes just got tighter!”

The usage of the Kanzuki Beach stage in Street Fighter V is prohibited in competitive play. This is due to the fact that the water within the stage obscures ground projectiles such as Birdie’s banana peels and pop cans from his Break Time V-Skill as well as Juri’s Fuharenkyaku fireball. It is currently one of the only three stages in the game to be tournament banned, the other stages being The Grid and Skies of Honor.

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“Even though it’s summer, I just took you to school!”

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“Hey, I recognize that gibbon sitting on the turtle there. Now that I know that guy’s tight with the Kanzukis, he can give me back those 50 Banana Fun Bucks he owes me! THAT WAS AN APE JOKE!”

APPRENTICE ALLEY

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Located in India, was first seen in Dhalsim’s reveal trailer. In the left corner of the stage, there is a poster of an Indian-made film titled The Eternal Ganga (アジョワンの涙 Ajowan no Namida?, “Tears of Ajowan”), starred by Kamal Ali and Tia Sharma. Several people watch the fight, including Dhalsim’s wife Sally and their son Datta in the center of the stage. I’m not sure how I feel about the beard on Dhalsim (it makes him look like Yoga Claus), but the presence of Sally makes me happy because it reminds me of Dhalsim’s stage from Street Fighter Alpha 2, another favorite fighting game stage of mine.

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In it, Sally watches the fray (but only when Dhalsim is one of the combatants). When her husband scores a hit, she smiles and claps her hands…

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…And when Dhalsim himself is struck or attacked, she turns her head away in dismay. You’ve gotta love the devotion.

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“What?! I’ve got a sentimental side! Big whoop! Wanna fight about it??”

HILLSIDE PLAZA

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Hillside Plaza is is the home stage of new character Laura, the smoking hot older sister of Street Fighter 3‘s Sean, taking place in Rio de Janeiro.

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“Rio? Uh-oh! I feel a rhumba comin’ on!”

Instead of the world-famous Christ the Redeemer statue in the background, a different statue can be seen. This stage also reminds me of one of my favorite moments from the animated film Rio.

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You know the one.

RING OF DESTINY

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The Ring of Destiny is a DLC stage available in Street Fighter V for a limited time, representing the 2016 Capcom Pro Tour. It is available by itself for $10USD in addition to being included in the limited time Capcom Pro Tour package that comes bundled with three other alternate costumes and an exclusive color for $25USD.

scrooge-mcduck

“What did ah jes’ tell ye?”

One thing I like about this stage (aside from the golden Adonis statues at the center) is the wide range of diverse spectators cheering on the fighters. You’ve got an American cowboy, a British guard playing a sousaphone, a lady Rio dancer, a heavy metal guitarist, a floating Indian mystic and even a dancing bear! Just about everybody is represented in this crowd.

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We, are the world.

Finally, a word about Laura.

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Yes, I’m just looking for an excuse to show more images of her.

As we’ve established, I find her to be quite attractive for a game sprite.

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Fellas, put on your drool cups!

So why haven’t I said “BOM-CHICKA-WOW-WOW” yet? Well, while I do like Laura and all, doing so would feel a tad off-putting, seeing as how she has the same name as my maternal grandmother.

hello-id-like-to-report-an-awkward-situation

Toons & Tunes: Cock of the Walk

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Today’s Toons & Tunes comes to us courtesy of The Looney Tunes Show. (I’ve been in a Looney Tunes vibe recently, as you could probably tell.) The loudmouthed Southern rooster Foghorn Leghorn has always been a legend in his own mind, so what better way to illustrate that point than having him belt out a country tune where he brags about all of his alleged accomplishments? Here’s “Cock of the Walk”.

(It’s there, trust me. Click on it.)

-Look for cameos from Pepe LePew, the Instant Martians and Miss Prissy!

What The Funny #4: Who’s For Dinner?

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It’s that time again! Time for another breakdown of one of my favorite Rocko’s Modern Life shorts!

Before we start, let me once again apologize for the loooooong wait. I planned to do this one last month (December), but I never got the time and space to sit down and work on it. Also, I wasn’t able to find a ton of images for this one. Even GIFs for this particular short are scarce, so I’m just going to have to make my descriptions of certain scenes as entertaining as possible.

Now that’s out of the way, on with the fun!

Who’s For Dinner?

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This short’s title is a play on the title of the 1967 movie Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? starring Sidney Portier.

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“Been there, done that.”

Synopsis: In this episode Heffer invites Rocko to have dinner with his family. Rocko accepts, much to Heffer’s relief. When he arrives Rocko is stunned to find out Heffer lives with a family of Wolves.

Highlights:

Heffer: My grandfather hates wallabes, but don’t worry, because he’s really nearsighted.

That should have been a red flag right there.

When Rocko meets Heffer’s family, he (along with us, the audience) is surprised to discover that Heff’s family are a pack of wolves, and they’re a colorful pack, to say the least. The Wolfe family consists of…

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Heffer’s grumpy father George…

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…his perpetually upbeat mother (with a nervous tick) Virginia…

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Trivia Tine: Heffer’s parents get their names from “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” – a 1962 play by Edward Albee, examining the breakdown of a marriage of a middle aged couple, Martha & George.

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…Heff’s teenage siblings; sardonic, rebellious brother Peter and over sensitive drama queen sister Cindy…

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…and his cantankerous, racist (or would be “speciesist”) grandfather, who we learn in a later episode that his first name is Hiram.

Rocko, expecting Heffer’s family to be bovine rather than lupine, gets a gift for Virginia, an udder warmer, which Virginia puts on her head and is seen wearing it for the remainder of the short.

Initially, Heff tries to pass off Rocko as a coyote, but Grandpa Wolfe insists that Rocko must be a beaver, which he goes on believing for the remainder of the series.

Virginia initially continually calls Rocko by the wrong name, referring to him as “Jocko”, “Crocko”, etc.

Inside, we get a glimpse of the Wolfe family’s home life, such as the following exchange:

George (to Peter): So, son, how was school?

Peter: I quit school two years ago.

George: What?!? VIRGINIA!!

Virginia: We were afraid to tell you.

Peter: See? I told you he’d get mad.

Cindy: Stop fighting! I…can’t…TAKE IT!!!!!

Virginia: No one’s fighting, dear.

Grandpa: Eh, sounds like fighting to me!

George (to Peter): You’re a loser! Why can’t you be more like Heffer?

Peter: What? a 500 pound cow?

George: He’s a steer!

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Putting the “fun” in dysfunctional! Yahoo!

Grandpa: I hope you’re not lettin’ the beaver eat off’n the good china, otherwise we’ll have to smash the plates!

Evidently, He’s not crazy about beavers either.

The wolf jokes continue as Rocko excuses himself to go the bathroom, where he opens the closet door and notices a group of Little Red Riding Hoods being kept there. Then he discovers the Three Little Pigs bound and gagged in the family’s medicine cabinet!

While the family chows down on their meal (a dead moose), Virginia asks Rocko (finally getting his name right) if he and Heffer have known each other for a long time. Rocko responds with…

Rocko: Yes, and it’s quite interesting. In all the years that I’ve known Heffer, he never once told me that he was adopted.

We then hear the sound of a record scratching and everything goes grimly silent.

Heffer: Is that true???

Virginia: Well, yes. We found you under a tree in Brandwynn Farm. You were skinny, so we decided to fatten you up, but then we grew to love you!

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But what about my birthmark?

Peter: Dad used to call you “steak”.

Basically, the Wolfes were originally going to eat Heffer before they grew fond of him and later adopted him. What’s really funny is that Heffer never knew that he was adopted until Rocko inadvertently spilled the beans at that particular moment.

Confused and hysterical with emotion, Heffer runs out of the house to parts unknown. The family (plus Rocko) set out to find Heffer.

I’ve always liked the following line:

Rocko (on the phone): The Bigheads haven’t seen him (Heffer) either. What’s that? And they don’t care!

Heffer is seen drowning is sorrows in a bar that looks suspiciously like the one the Nighthawks painting. Eventually, he comes across what he believes to be his biological father’s tombstone (in actuality, it belongs to a big wet cat). Heff gets a vision of his real father over the tombstone.

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How he’s able to astral project like this when still alive is anyone’s guess.

Heff’s Real Dad: That’s not my tombstone! I’m not even dead! I’m living in Canoga with Joyce here.

Joyce (who looks and talks like Heffer in drag): Hi! You should visit some time!

Heffer: Mom??

Heff’s Dad: That’s not your mom! Your mom’s a car seat in Illinois! Listen, I’m sick of you kids coming around here looking for your daddy! I’ve had a million kids that look just like you, UGLY! Joyce come here and clean up after me!

It seems as though Heffer’s real dad is crankier than George and Grandpa Wolfe combined. A farmer notices Heffer “Hey, aren’t you that guy on the milk cartons? There was a family of Wolves lookin’ for you. Seemed real upset. Matter of fact, they had a beaver with ’em!”

Eventually, Heffer comes back to the Wolfe’s house. The short ends with a shot of the Wolfe family on top of their roof howling (or in Heffer’s case, mooing) at the moon in silhouette.

“Who’s For Dinner?” is one of Joe Murray’s favorite episodes, and one of mine too. In addition to delivering a lot of laughs, this short actually manages to be pretty touching, albeit in a sick, twisted way. Murray said that he partially based Heffer on an adopted friend and used his friend’s emotions to sculpt Heffer’s role and actions.  I liked how the premise of Heffer being adopted by a family of wolves was never altered throughout the course of the series. You don’t get too many adopted children in cartoons, and I like how this premise was handled here.

My Rating: 5 out of 5.

Next Time: We wrap up our Rocko’s Modern Life celebration with Popcorn Pandemonium. Stay funny.