Talkin’ Nerdy: Sing – Why Animals?

For a moment, let’s talk about Illumination Studios’ latest (at the time of this writing) movie, Sing.

sing-movie-title-cardJust a quick heads-up; This isn’t going to be a review of the movie. We don’t do movie reviews on this site, and I couldn’t review the film anyway, since I haven’t seen it yet. This isn’t a movie review, it’s just pointless rambling.

Now I’m sure that we all know the story of the film by now; a singing competition, contestants each have their own little drama going on, yada-yada-yada, but the one thing that I’ve been wondering since I saw the first trailer for the movie…

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Why is the cast made up entirely of animals?

This is especially curious considering that Sing was released right after Illumination’s last movie, The Secret Life of Pets, in which the animals were, well, pets owned by humans. Compare this to Disney’s Zootopia.

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In Zootopia, the animal society made sense because the producers were using different animal species to represent different races and classes, and to show how those different races and classes reacted toward each other.

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In Sing, by contrast, this seems to be a parallel to our society, except that everybody’s an animal, and there’s no reason for them to be animals. They just are because it’s a kids movie and kids like talking animals.

Plus, the Sing animals wear shoes. I don’t like it when cartoon animals wear shoes.

My guess is that Illumination felt that kids wouldn’t want to watch an animated movie about humans. I might have, but at this point I’d be willing to sit through any Illumination movie that didn’t have the Minions in it.

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We get it. You’re Illumination’s biggest cash cow, but we can’t miss you if you don’t go away.

There’s a belief among my friends and colleagues that I dislike anthropomorphic animals. This isn’t the case. I like anthropomorphic animals, there are just a very specific set of conditions in order for me to enjoy them. Generally, I prefer it when animal characters are in a recognizable human environment as opposed to just turning human characters into animals for no reason. I prefer when the people are people and the animals are animals and you don’t mix the two. First, I’m OK with animals that talk or occasionally walk like humans, just as long as said animals don’t live under the delusion that they are human! Referring to other animals as “animals” as though they’re something different and such.

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I’m looking at you, Beary Family!

Second, if you’re going to have a society where there are no humans and the characters are essentially human characters in animal guise, then don’t have them interacting with “real” animals!

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Anthros and non-anthros existing in the same universe is just plain weird. It’s impossible for me to get my mind around it.

Another question comes to mind: In a universe where all of the animals are intelligent, what do they eat?

I think that ideally, I prefer a world like the one in Warner Brothers’ movie Storks

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In which the animals live in a recognizable human environment and  are acknowledged as animals, despite their being intelligent and being to talk directly to the humans.

So it’s not that I dislike anthropomorphic animals in cartoons, it’s just that the situation has to make sense. I still may see Sing at some point. I’ll probably rent it when it comes to Blu-Ray. Also, from a personal observation…

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Judy Hopps is far cuter than the rabbits in Sing.

Yearly Wrap-Up 2016

2016

Let’s face it; 2016 kind of sucked.

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“TWENTY-SIXTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!”

With the general tumultuous atmosphere, the huge ideological divide and the many, many, many beloved celebrities’ passing, this really hasn’t been a great year.

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“The suck is strong with this one.”

2016 hasn’t been much kinder to us, either. I know you’re all probably less than thrilled about the general lack of output here on the site; we’re not happy about it either. This year there’s been a lot of craziness and distractions going on in our offline lives, so regrettably we haven’t been able to spend as much time focusing on Twinsanity as we’d have liked. The latter months of this year our work here has been particularly sporadic; fall and winter seemed to have been the Seasons of Medical Procedures: nearly every member of our household has had to deal with some sort of procedure (nothing life-threatening, thankfully, but enough to keep us away from production for a good while). Then of course came the unstoppable juggernaut that is the Holiday Season, which only slowed down production even more here. We’re hoping that once all this stuff chills out, we can get to business as usual (0r unusual) around here.

There have been some bright spots, though. I haven’t really been able to bask in it too much due to the melange of crap that I’ve also had to deal with this year, but 2016 marks the first anniversary of our departures from Toon Zone, and looking back I have to say that splitting from that place was one of the smartest moves I’ve made in recent years. TZ just wasn’t a good fit for us; looking back, I can’t believe we stayed there as long as we did. There were too many inmates running the asylum and too many giant egos drunk on their tiny bits of power taking what’s supposed to be a fun past-time far too seriously. Long story short, the atmosphere over at TZ had become toxic and I couldn’t picture myself staying there for another 12 days, let alone 12 months. So no, I don’t regret that move even a little, but we’re all about looking forward not back, so I won’t sling any more hash about Toon Zone anymore. As far as we’re concerned, TZ is part of our past, and it’s time to embrace the future.

We also managed to launch 2 of our “passion projects” this year: What the Funny and Pop Dream. We’re aware that you’re all waiting for us to continue with those; as of this writing there are still 2 Pop Dreams and 2 What the Funnies left to be presented; again we just haven’t been able to devote as much time to Twinsanity in general this year, especially during the latter months, but rest assured we will be finishing both of those, after which the WTF and Pop Dream segments will continue, but each will focus on different characters and shows. The idea behind each is that we’ll do about 4, 5 or at the most 6 (depending on the franchise) entries for one show or franchise before moving on to another one. I had planned to do the 4th Pop Dream this month, but as you can see I wasn’t able to, maybe it’ll come out in January. Similarly, Jason is hoping that the 4th What the Funny will be done some time in January; it seems unlikely that there will be any major blog entries this week. Also, this probably doesn’t need to be said, but the other segments like Videots, Wild World of Shows, Cartoon Country, Beyond the Background, Unpopular Opinions and the like will still continue; we won’t cease to work on them just because we’re planning to continue Pop Dream and What the Funny. Plus, segments like PD or WTF are meant to be special; the plan is and has always been to sprinkle them throughout the blog as a special treat to look forward to among the other regular segments.

Also, remember Twinsanity Toons, that fiction blog that we attempted a couple of years ago but folded after just a few weeks? Well, there’s been the on-and-off thought about taking another shot at that. Don’t get us wrong. Twinsanity is a variety blog, as it’s always been. We’re not going to split it up into 2 blogs. If we do indeed embark on this, it would be more of a side project. Jason has said that the only way he’d do a 2nd blog is if it offered something different from the current one, and we don’t generally write fiction on Twinsanity, so this would be something different. We’re discussing some possible ideas for setting, characters, etc. I don’t want to reveal too much until it looks like we’re actually going to do it, but we definitely won’t be calling the fiction blog “Twinsanity Toons”. We can be more creative than that. The plan is for the fiction stories to focus on one specific set of characters in one specific setting, rather than the ‘grab-bag’ formula that this blog embodies. Again, I’d rather not reveal too much too early, since we’re still playing around with characters, ideas and concepts, but if anything connected to this idea becomes solid, you’ll here it here first, and we’ll provide you with the new URL should it come to that.

Two words keep resonating through my head whenever I can get a free moment to sit down on try to concentrate on Twinsanity: bigger and wilder. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of what we’ve been doing here; our work starting from 2013 and up (IMO) has been quite good, but I guess every artist has their own personal Mount Everest that they want to to climb; I just can’t help feeling like I could be pushing the envelope even further. I’d like to really start making some extra-good, super-wild stuff in the coming months. That’s one reason why we’re pushing to transform this blog into a full-blown site; there’s so much we’d like to do that goes beyond the confines of a mere blog. We have been moving away from the ranty stuff and that’s good, ’cause I wanted to take Twinsanity in a more positive direction, and when we start producing videos, I plan to keep things more fun and positive. It’s like playing that fortune cookie game where you add “in bed” to the fortune; a lot of the things we plan to do are similar to what other YouTubers and content creators are doing, only Bigger and Wilder. For example, I’d like to make videos similar to Jill Bearup (aka Sursum Ursa)’s Stuff You Like…only Bigger and Wilder. What the Funny was born out of Jason’s desire to make something similar to Chris Stuckmann’s Hilariocity reviews…only Bigger and Wilder. My latest Videots installments were meant to emulate Ryan Molina (of Battle Geek Plus)’s Awesome Video Game Memories…only Bigger and Wilder. You get the idea. Plus, there aren’t a ton of other producers who cover animation extensively aside from Rebel Taxi and TheMysteriousMrEnter; I’ve only seen assorted bits from the former and how we cover cartoons is NOTHING like the latter. Sorry to any fans of MrEnter, but we’re not going to do what he does at all. First off, the dude’s a freak; the guy over-reacts and rants and screams like a maniac about cartoons starring pastel-colored talking horses; he takes My Little Pony more seriously than any sane adult should. Second, Enter is obsessed with heart and emotional moments in animation, and while I can appreciate fine art, for the most part I don’t have time for the touchy-feely stuff. Enter takes these silly cartoons way too seriously, and this is coming from someone who one day plans to forge a career making silly cartoons. Someone’s gotta focus on the laughs, goofiness and the fun side of cartoons and cartoon culture, and that’s what we do. It is my hope that our videos and future installments will be both like stuff you’ve seen before and like nothing you’ve seen before.

In short, no need to panic; we’re still alive and we’re still working on Twinsanity. Here’s hoping that 2017 will be bigger, better, wilder, more productive and more fun than 2016.

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Heck, it couldn’t get much worse.

Ad Nausea: Lexus Xmas “Forgery” Commercial

This holiday season, Lexus has produced a series of ‘December to Remember’ spots depicting parents using their children as pawns to get Santa Claus to send them Lexuses (or is it Lexi?) for Christmas. The following ad, “Forgery”, is easily the weakest entry in the series, for reasons I’ll go into below.

“…And a puppy?

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Really??

OK, two things. First, a white boy with a dog. Never saw that before. Not before noon!

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“That’s right. I went there.”

Second, geez, way to drop the ball, kid. You could’ve asked for literally anything, and the only thing you demanded is a puppy? As Gomez Addams once said…

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“Don’t you know all that’s gonna grow up to be is a dog??”

Like the spot says, if you’re gonna wish,wish BIG. If this kid’s going to use this here situation as leverage to get a pet, why not ask for something cool?

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Like a dragon?

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Or a tiger? Now, that’s worth blackmailing your parents for.

And before someone hits me with…

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“That’s not realistic!”

Let me remind you that we’re talking about a universe in which Santa Claus exists and everyone knows that he exists. So if St. Nick exists in this world, it can be further conjectured that everything attached to his mythos, such as elves and flying reindeer, also exist. Therefore, it’s not far-fetched to assume that dragons also exist in this world. If you can have Santy Claus magically dropping luxury cars in front of people’s houses, then kids can keep tigers and dragons as pets.

-Oh, and one more thing:

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MERRY @#$%IN’ CHRISTMAS!

Talkin’ Nerdy/Unpopular Opinions: DC Super Hero Girls is MY Teen Titans

An epiphany can come from the strangest places at the strangest times, can’t it?

The other day last week I was watching this DC Super Hero Girls short:

…And it suddenly dawned on me one reason why I like this series so much.

DC Super Hero Girls is closer to the Teen Titans

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…Or Teen Titans GO! series…

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…That I wanted.

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DCSHG is closer to what I wanted from Teen Titans: more familiar DC characters with closer ties to the iconic DC superheroes (nothing against the 2003 show, but I wouldn’t have gone with the Wolfman/Perez New Teen Titans team; I would’ve preferred a show starring the Founding Five…

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…Or some contemporary derivation thereof; ideally, I’d like for there to have been some non-whites among the team and the odd gender-swap here and there, as the whole “several guys and 1 gal” thing never clicked with me.

artemis_in_2010

Perhaps replace Speedy with Artemis,

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Or switch out Garth in favor of Kaldur.

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Or better yet Tula/Aquagirl, for some good ol’ fashioned fan-service.)

…Shorter, simpler slice-of-life stories with a greater emphasis on comedy, a diminished presence of villains and fight scenes and no wannabe anime look and feel. Again, I have nothing against anime, but I never felt the whole anime-aping look and feel had any place on the show. It had gotten to the point where some fans got the idea–and who knows where they got this idea–that Teen Titans was actually made in Japan, proving something a friend of mine once said: “It amazes me how half of [Teen Titans]’s fan base has never picked up a comic in their bloody lives.”

Now, let me again point out that I didn’t hate Teen Titans; I liked the show OK, but in my mind it wasn’t the voice and tone that I would’ve used. For my taste, TT was marketed too much and framed too strongly as a boys’ action show (though plenty of girls liked the show too). I have nothing against boys’ action shows, but they’re a dime a dozen.

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“COWABUNGA, DUDES! (And dudettes to a lesser extent.”)

My ideal Teen Titans show, rather than being part-action, part-comedy, would’ve been nearly ALL comedy, which I realize wouldn’t have sat right with many hardcore superhero fans, but I feel the comedic format showcasing the “calm between storms” moments depicting what the capes do in their down time was one of the few things Teen Titans GO! got right. Typically when the subject of TTGO! comes up, the biggest complaint I hear wailed towards the heavens is…

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“WHY IS IT A COMEDY?????!!!?????”

Personally, I don’t have a problem with a superhero show being a comedy. The whole superhero genre at it’s core is itself very, very silly: it’s about fit dudes and chicks who gain crazy magic powers, don wacky costumes, give themselves goofy names and go out to beat up mad scientists and would-be world conquerors. Superheroes are already as goofy as all get-out, so a lighthearted take on them isn’t that big a departure, folks.

No, my issue with shows like Teen Titans GO!, Ultimate Spider-Man

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Da-derp-de-derp-da-derp-de-derp-da-DUM!

And Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.

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Comes in 5 fun colors! Try ’em all!

…Isn’t that they’re comedies, it’s that they’re not funny. If someone wants to make a jokey and jovial superhero show, then by all means do, but if you’re going to do that, be funny! My issue with TTGO! isn’t that it’s a comedy or that it features little to no actual crime fighting, it’s that the jokes aren’t funny, the characters act like amoral sociopathic a-holes and all of the characters shout their lines all the time. Volume doesn’t make a lame joke funny.

Now here’s what my take on Teen Titans would’ve been like: my TT would have been set in a universe which acknowledged the presence of the adult Justice League members, who would serve as parental figures/mentors to the kid heroes…

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It always bothered me how TT depicted the kid characters living on their own with no adults or any kind of adult supervision, and not even so much as a passing mention of the adult DC heroes. I know that bugs me more than it should, but it still bugged me.

…The main setting would be the Hall of Justice…

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…Which could probably have a separate guest cottage/quarters/club house for the kids.

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The basic crux would be that the adult Leaguers would typically sideline the kids from missions, so while they were off saving the day, the show would spotlight the kid sidekicks at home having wacky shenanigans. There could be the occasional passing mention of some of the League’s missions being overheard on the TV or radio or happening off in the distance, showing the wacky highjinks the kids are getting into alongside of the Justice League stories. On TT, all of the villain whomping and fight scenes would take place off-screen. My take on Teen Titans would basically be like the Justice Friends segments from Dexter’s Laboratory

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…Only cuter.

 

Unpopular Opinions: Jubilee

Here’s an unpopular opinion for ya: I don’t think Jubilee (of the X-Men)’s mutant power is lame. Never have and never will.

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Let the sparks fly!

Whenever some comic book or superhero site makes a list of the lamest X-Men and their powers, Jubilee invariably makes the list, and I’ve never gotten that. Yes, over the years the gang at Marvel have come up with some seriously dorky mutants….

 

…Like Jazz, the mutant whose only power was having blue skin, and nothing else. Oh yeah, and he was also possessed mediocre rapping skills. Cool?

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“Blue-yaka-sha!”

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Or Longneck, who had a six-foot neck.

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He’s the hero to call should Geoffrey the Giraffe ever decide to knock over a bank.

Or Forget-Me-Not, with the power to be forgotten. And this is useful because…?

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What was I talking about? I forget.

But why is Jubilee always placed in this category? Jube’s original powers were cool. Who wouldn’t want to be able to fire multicolored hot electric destruction from your finger tips?

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Often I hear folks say, “Hur-hur. Jubilee’s powers are stupid. They’re just fireworks. She can’t do anything.” Ah, no. Jubilee’s projectiles are not mere fireworks, they are globules of plasma fired in varying degrees of intensity. Do you not know what plasma is? Allow me to elucidate:

Plasma is the 4th state of matter, after solids, liquids and gases. It is an ionized gas consisting of positive ions and free electrons in proportions resulting in more or less no overall electric charge, typically at low pressures (as in the upper atmosphere and in fluorescent lamps) or at very high temperatures (as in stars and nuclear fusion reactors). One possessing this power could easily short out electrical devices or destroy a house with this power. Jubilee’s powers were actually nerfed on the FOX TV show because a) she was just a kid and her powers hadn’t reached their full potential yet and b) in the comics, anyway, she chose not to use her ability to its’ maximum out of concern for seriously injuring or killing someone. One’s power is not weak just because one chooses to hold back on it. The potential for serious damage is still there.

Jubilee is similar to DC’s Wonder Twins, who are similarly lambasted by fans, critics and comedians for being lame-ohs when in fact their abilities are actually potentially formidable and were more extensive in the comics than they were in their TV incarnation.

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-Speaking of which, let me side track for just a second here. Recently I had a bit of back-and-forth with the same horndog jackass with the Blackfire fetish on the DC Superhero Girls comments section on YouTube. When I casually mentioned that I’d like to see Zan and Jayna on DCSHG, this smug piece of talking moose excrement quipped:

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“I dunno, man. You come off like a weirdo.”

Says the guy who’s obsessed with a D-List villain character. You wanna see a weirdo, douche? Look in the mirror!

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-There, I said it. I feel better. Now back to Jubilee.

Now with the level of respect and enthusiasm that I have for Jubilation Lee, you may be wondering what I think of Marvel’s new incarnation of the Generation X comic book series, with Jubilee at the forefront? My answer is…

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Yeah, I haven’t read the new Generation X, and I have no plans to. Why? Because it looks dumb and not like anything I’d be interested in. I have no problem with the cast being basically misfits who don’t fit in with any of the other more serious X-Factions; that could be fun if they decide to do it as a comedy, you know, wacky roommate antics, but the characters they chosen for it are unflatteringly lame. Eye-Boy?  A kid with eyeballs all over his body? Disgusting! Nature Girl? A girl with deer antlers who can communicate with animals and plants? What the actual what? It’s like someone at Marvel saw that Robot Chicken sketch about Kid Venison and said, “We should do that for real!” Bling!? The daughter of rappers who’s made of living bling-bling? Seriously?? Yeah, these ideas are too ridiculous, even for comics. (Though I do think that Bling! is a cool name.)

You’re probably asking:

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“But Damon, you should be looking forward to the new Generation X. Jubilee’s back, and she’s the leader this time!”

-Yeah, but it’s Jubilee NOW. Not the Jubilee that’s cool. The current Jubilee has been depowered and without her plasma fireworks for nearly a decade; now Jubes is a vampire who was bitten by the son of Dracula and has a baby?!?

Pardon my French, but….

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“EFF THAT ESS!”

Nah, folks can check that out if it tickles their collective fancy, but I’ll stick with my memories of the Jubilee that I liked, thanks.