Toons & Tunes: Soul Coughing Groovies Double Feature

Today’s Toons & Tunes is a double play. Both of these tracks are from the band Soul Coughing, and both are from the same album, El Oso (‘The Bear’). Also, both of them have been used by Cartoon Network (and later Boomerang) for their old Groovies filler segments. First up is “Rollin'”, which is used to accompany the animation for a classic Betty Boop cartoon, complete with Koko the Clown and all.

Next up is “Circles”, the accompanying animation cleverly pokes fun at the old Hanna-Barbera tradition of looping backgrounds (i.e., the “lamp-chair-couch”) syndrome.

-Like many folks I suspect, these segments were my first introduction to Soul Coughing. To this day, I have both of these tracks on my mp3 player.

Cartoon Country: Flip the Script – Phineas and Ferb

Earlier this year, the animated series Phineas and Ferb concluded it’s 8 year run run on The Disney Channel and on Disney X-D. Phineas and Ferb Wallpaper

For those who don’t know, Phineas and Ferb was created by Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh (who previously worked on Nickelodeon’s Rocko’s Modern Life) about a pair of step brothers who would regularly find fun things to do while on Summer vacation, all the while avoiding being told on by their teenage sister Candace and also featured the adventures the boys’ intelligent pet platypus Perry, who was a secret agent perpetually foiling an inept wanna be super villain named Dr. Doofenshmurtz.

Now, honestly, I could take or leave this show. There were some things that I liked about P&F and some things that I didn’t. Did the characters really have to sing in every single episode? I’d be OK with the occasional musical number now and again, but having a song in every episode was grating on the ol’ nerves!

The following isn’t going to be a retrospective on the show, but rather, this is a brief look at how we personally would have handled the premise of P&F, since we both feel that the idea behind P&F was better than the show itself. One thing that I liked about P&F was how the series was perpetually set during Summer vacation, as Dan and Swampy felt that the school setting had fallen into redundancy, so with that, let’s start by rejoicing in the endless summer…in October. Hit it, kiddies!

All right-y! Now then, time to flip that script!

Let’s start with the shows’ title characters, Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher, I have nothing against these guys, but let’s face it; boy protagonists are a dime a dozen and there are already plenty of cartoons with boy protagonists. Also, while I do find the idea of a happy blended family with no drama attached to it to be a charming one, I have a slightly different idea in mind for these 2. We would….

...Make them a pair of twins! Everyone who regular visits this sites knows that we love our twins here. For the record, we could have made them identical twins as well, but just so we won't have to keep switching back and fourth throughout this thing (keep in mind that we are lazy!), let's just go with this setup.

…Make them a pair of twins! Everyone who regularly visits this site knows that we love our twins here. For the record, we could have made them identical twins as well, but just so we won’t have to keep switching back and fourth throughout this thing (keep in mind that we are lazy!), let’s just go with this setup.

Just to keep things rolling along smoothly, let’s name our titular duo Jelly and Jam, so we won’t have to keep calling them “This One” and “That One” throughout this article. It’s certainly more complimentary than Thing 1 and Thing 2. (FTR, Jelly is the girl and Jam is the boy. Got it? Good). Moving on…

Jelly and Jam are child prodigies, kid geniuses with a combined I.Q. of 400 (200 for each twin). They get bored easily and as such, they’re always looking for something fun to do while home from school during the summer. In fact, they could have a Summer Fun list, which they would look through and check off in many episodes.

Jelly typically holds on to the list, though she has an idetic memory. Jam's not crazy about writing things down, feeling that's

Jelly typically holds on to the list, though she has an eidetic memory. She just loves doodling and checking things off; she draws the checks in fancy fonts and colors. Jam’s not crazy about writing things down, feeling that’s “so analog”. He prefers texting.

Just to keep things interesting, here are some interesting factoids about each twin:

JELLY: Residing in a big house in Barnacle Bay. Jelly loves cartoons (the loonier, the better), tank tops, sunny days, sweet treats, standing on her head, going barefoot and advanced mathematics (Yeah, you heard right!). Favorite Color: Poppy Red. She's obsessed with her awesome hair and dislikes cold weather and baked beans!

JELLY: Residing in a big house in Barnacle Bay. Jelly loves tank tops, sunny days, sparkles, rainbows, martial arts, standing on her head, going barefoot and advanced mathematics (yeah, you heard right!) Favorite color: berry pink. She’s obsessed with having fun and dislikes cold weather and beaked beans!

Also, Jelly regularly wears colorful tops (sports a different one in nearly every episode) each with a different cutesy decal on it. Can you guess that I just plain like that idea?

 

Mabel Pines sweater closet 2

JAM - Hails from his bedroom in a big house in Barnacle Bay. Sk8s and shreds every free moment he gets. Loves snack cakes, techie toys, skateboarding, lanyards, duckies and Jam shorts. Favorite color: baby blue. Favorite music: techno. He takes his skateboard to bed with him, can tie a knot with his toes and wants to get braces so he can have bling-bling on his teeth!

JAM – Hails from his bedroom in a big house in Barnacle Bay. Sk8s every free moment he gets. Loves to try out the latest techie toys when he’s not Gleaming the Cube, shredding waves, playing soccer or just being dirty and stinky. His favorite possession is his skateboard which has a Turbo Jet and Hover Mode–Awesome!

True to his name, one of Jam’s shticks is that he’s almost always seen wearing Jam shorts.

Jam Shorts

“Hey. Nice pants!”

Moving on to the supporting cast: Jelly and Jam are brilliant children, but they’re still and still prone to impulsive, immature behavior. As such, they need to be supervised. The last time they were left at home alone, they filled their entire bathroom with whipped cream and then teleported the house to planet Saturn! Keeping a watchful eye on the twins are their quirky but likable parents. Once again, I’m going to list both of them together in order to prevent either one of them become more prominent than the other.

stock-photo-businesswoman-and-stay-in-home-father-137711705

Let’s go with the “businesswoman and stay-at-home father” shtick. It’s cute and it’ll be good for the whole “female empowerment” thing.

 

As for the Candace character, she isn’t necessarily a needed character. However, we could keep such a character around, although she wouldn’t be trying to bust her younger siblings in every episode, nor would there be any shipper drama with her and Jeremy. She could mention a boyfriend, but said boyfriend would be mostly off screen. Basically, she’d mostly just be there to roll her eyes, snark on little brother and sister and provide some of that good old fashioned fan service.

Aisha2

BOM-CHIKA-WOW-WOW!

What about Perry the Platypus? We’re glad we pretended you asked.

Perry_the_platypus_by_sarrel-d3gvo02

You probably thought we were going to drop Perry, right? But no. He’s popular with fans, and he’s such a uniquely bizarre idea that he’s earned his place on the show. The alterations we’d make to Perry are really only tweaks. He’d still do the Agent P shtick, just not in every episode, and he wouldn’t face off against the same guy every time, ’cause that’s repetitive and kind of weak. When Perry isn’t saving the free world, he spends his time getting dressed up by the twins (and Jam enjoys doing this too–yay, progression!) or being used as a guinea pig in their kooky experiments.

So we keep the twins (obviously!). We keep the parents. We keep the pet and (maybe) keep the teenage sister, but the rest of the P&F cast – gone! P&F has an pluarity of unnecessary characters and we’d definitely like to thin out the herd. No more Fireside Girls (if one of the twins is a girl, there’s our girl quotient right there). No more Buford. No more Bajeet, and definitely lose Jeremy’s little sister, (obnoxious brat). the twins will have friends when they need to have friends, but they don’t need to have a gang, per se.

However, just for laughs, lets throw in a grouchy, creepy, easily annoyed neighbor character to serve as a foilf for the twins?

“Get off my @#!!! lawn!”

This guy could be annoyed by the twins antics and would often complain about having to live near them. You blow up someone’s car a couple of times and suddenly they have a problem with you!

The basic premise of the show wouldn’t be all that different: our 2 leads pick a “super fun, super cool” activity to do from their Summer Fun list (ex: transforming their wading pool into water park/island resort, traveling into space, creating the latest summer blockbuster movie, making a burger the size of a parking lot, etc.) and put their plan into action. The difference would be that things don’t always go smoothly for our kid duo; they sometimes overestimate the scale of their plans or they’ll struggle or squabble or get distracted by something else. They also wouldn’t succeed every time, which would keep them relatable.

To assist in the ventures, each twin would be armed with their own super high-tech tablet, each with a ton of improbable apps on them.

These apps would be capable of such feats as: f=emitting fireballs, lightning blasts, sonic booms, GPS, enabling flight, super speed and oh, yeah, email.

These apps would be capable of such feats as: emitting fireballs, lightning blasts, sonic booms, creating 3-dimensional holographic illusions, enabling flight, super speed, bringing video game power-ups to life for use in the real word…and oh, yeah, email.

The twins would hatch their crazy schemes from their tree house, which they have dubbed Treehouse Awesome.

Said tree house would house the twins science lab, a skateboard ramp, a hard light rainbow slide, and would even be capable of travel, including through space and underwater. It would house numerous dimensions; despite its' small exterior, it would have an implausibly massive interior. Think the TARDIS meets Snoopy's dog house.

Said tree house would house the twins science lab, a skateboard ramp, a teleporter, a hard light rainbow slide, and would even be capable of travel, including through space and underwater. It would house numerous dimensions; despite its’ small exterior, it would have an implausibly massive interior. Think the TARDIS meets Snoopy’s dog house.

In a nutshell, that would be our take on Phineas & Ferb. There’s nothing else to say, so let’s celebrate the summer…in October. KICK IT!

Retroville: Cereal Killers

Today Retroville takes a walk down the murky depths of the breakfast cereal aisle, chronicling breakfast’s Hall of Lame; some of the most infamous and shortest-lived kid-vid breakfast cereals and their mascots.

First up, we have OJs, no, not an O.J. Simpson themed cereal (“use the map on the back of the box to find the real killers!”), but rather an orange juice flavored cereal circa 1985, whose mascot was an orange-wrangling cowboy named OJ Joe.

Not hard to see why this one didn’t last; it was 2 great tastes that taste weird together. Generally speaking, folks like cereal, milk and orange juice for their breakfasts, but not all in the same dang food! Though I hear that mixing orange juice with milk is something of a trend in California.

“Californians are weird, brah!”

Next up is Punch Crunch, one of the lesser-known and quickly forgotten cereals from the Quaker Cap’n Crunch family. It was a fruit punch flavored cereal. Its’ mascot was Harry S. Hippo, an enormous (so what else?) pink hippo who liked to dance.

“Hmm, that guy sounds kinda familiar.”

Yes, that was Bill Scott, the original voice of Bullwinkle J. Moose, as Harry.

-Funny story: for a while there was an internet rumor saying that the reason why Punch Crunch was taken off the shelves was because people found the character of Harry S., a dandy pink hippo who loved to hoof it, to be an offensive homosexual stereotype (’cause we all know guys who like pink and enjoy dancing are automatically gay, right?), but that’s not even close to the truth. The reason that Punch Crunch was discontinued was because it was one of THE single nastiest concoctions ever wrought by man! As a kid I begged my parents to buy this after seeing that commercial, that Saturday morning I poured myself a bowl, and on that day I learned what a gag reflex was. I quickly poured that crap right down the garbage disposal–before it committed suicide.

Next, we have Ice Cream Cones cereal, which was (no prizes for guessing), an ice cream cones flavored cereal. Another gem from the 80’s.

I can’t put it any better than Mr. David Letterman, who had this to say about Ice Cream Cones cereal:

“All you need is a couple of candy bars, and you’ve got a real nutritious breakfast here.”

Finally, we have Sugar Rice Krinkles (yes, it was actually spelled with a ‘K’; yay, literacy!) from Post, which boasted numerous mascots over its’ brief lifetime. When the cereal debuted in 1951, its’ mascot was Krinkles the Clown. For those too young to remember, try to imagine if John Wayne Gacy did a cereal ad:

For years, this guy plugged Sugar Rice Kuh-Rinkles, all the while giving kids at home childhood Tuh-Rama.

“EVERYTHING FLOATS IN MILK!!”

There's a reason why clowns perform at children's hospitals: the kids can't run away from them there.

There’s a reason why clowns perform at children’s hospitals: the kids can’t run away from them there.

Later, Post replaced Krinkles with an animated character named So-Hi, who, like all of Post’s cereal mascots at the time, appeared on Linus the Lionhearted, a 30-minute animated plug for General Mills Post cereals which ran from 1964 to 1969. So-Hi was a Chinese boy–and that was his entire character shtick. He fell very firmly in the fortune-cookie phrase spouting “no tickee, no shirtee!” shtick, but keep in mind when this was. The character was named So-Hi because he was “just so-high”. Don’t shoot the messenger, I didn’t come up with that.

“Not cool, man. Geez, I’m an ancient martial arts master from a fighting video game, and I found that horribly racist!”

Sugar Rice Krinkles’ final mascot before getting discontinued altogether was a rather chipper milkman named Manfred, whose ‘nemesis’ was a sourpussed old coot named Gloom McDoom who wanted everybody else to be as miserable as he was (obviously an anhedonic, or a typical sullen teenager).

I don’t know, ‘the krinkles’ don’t sound like something I’d want my stomach to have.

“Say, that ‘smile a happy smile today’ line sounds kinda similar to our Hey Girls’ motto ‘Share a Smile’. Think we have a lawsuit? Mama could use a new gingham hat!”

Rumor has it that Gloom McDoom went on to pursue a career in political punditry:

Glenn Beck

As an added bonus, here’s something else Manfred the Milkman plugged during his short career:

*Give yourself a bonus gold geek star if you noticed the Honeycomb Hideout in the background there.

Well, there’s only one word for that trippy trip down Memory Lane:

Toons & Tunes: The Nudist and Mr. Pendleton

Today’s Tunes & Tunes is a music video (of sorts) which aired on the late Cartoon Network series Whatever Happened To Robot Jones?, although the title character himself only appears for a couple of seconds at the very beginning. My guess is that the shows’ creators just had this song number and didn’t have anywhere else to put it, so they aired it on Robot Jones. Still, it’s a groovy, retro chic song and it’s memorably bizarre. Enjoy “The Nudist and Mr. Pendleton” by The Lavender Fudge Experience.

2 Funny: Running Errands with My Mom

Cartoon Network’s late skit-comedy series Incredible Crew rubbed a lot of fans the wrong way, but I myself had no major qualms with it; I just didn’t think it belonged on CN since it was a live-action show. I felt it could’ve worked had it run on a different network, plus I like the title Incredible Crew (fun trivia fact: Incredible Crew was one choice for the name of this site!). Here’s one of the better (I thought) bits from that show. IC is unique due to some of its’ cast members’ outside activities; Jeremy Shada also serves as the voice of Finn the Human from Adventure Time, and another regular Shameik Moore would go on to star in this summer’s Dope. Here’s “Running Errands with My Mom”.