Wow, 2 TV Special Tonight segments in 1 month? It’s a Christmas miracle!
Remember those 2 whimsical, wonderful TV specials from the late 1980’s about a kindly dragon who makes lollipops in a magical candy land?
Me neither.
But lets devote a TV Special Tonight to it anyway. Today we’ll be taking a gander at Lollipop Dragon.
Lollipop Dragon is here to kick ass and lick lollipops. And he’s just run out of lollipops.
The Scaly Lolly One has actually graced 2 specials: The Great Christmas Race (1985) and The Magic Lollipop Adventure (1986). If you’ve never seen these specials, then you’re not alone, as they’ve basically dropped under the radar after their initial debuts, but if you have seen them, then you’ll never forget them. Ever. It’s not that the Lollipop Dragon specials were really that bad per se, it’s just that they were among the trippiest darn things ever captured on celluloid. Many of those who remember these specials (all 2 of you) tend to remember these specials as 1 giant TV movie, with The Magic Lollipop Adventure taking up the first half of the “story”and The Great Christmas Race bringing up the rear, even though chronologically Christmas Race was made first. as many syndicated packages and VHS releases showed them together as a singular story. As such, this is how we’ll be going over these mini-masterpieces.
“Mmm. I love the smell of lollipops in the morning. They smell like…lollipops!”
I’m getting cavities just looking at this.
Lollipop Dragon lives in the land of Tum-Tum (sounds like a stomach medicine), some outer-dimensional fantasy land which resembles a cross between the board game Candy Land, Pepperland from Yellow Submarine and a Peter Max painting. It is here that our favorite green Sucker-sucker lives, frolics and works in some sort of factory which seems to be made of cotton candy making and distributing lollipops (Tum-Tum’s primary import and aphrodisiac), assisted by a trio of child dragons (are they his children? Siblings? Cousins? They just gloss over that), each with a special power: there’s a pink dragon named Blue-Eyes who can fire blue energy beams from her eyes (nifty, but a dragon possessing laser vision seems kind of redundant somehow), a blue dragon named Glider with power to fly (this reeks of Meaghana of the Bratzillas; don’t most dragons fly? being a dragon boasting the power of flight is a bit like a human boasting the power of pointing their finger) and a yellow dragon named Cuddles, whose power is…well, we’ll get to that in due time. They’re also aided by one Harry Troll (get it?), a cool troll musician who looks like a brown ball of hair in a farmer’s hat and six arms, so he can play the keyboard and make rude posts on internet message boards at the same time.
The dragons apparently do the pop thang in the service of the kingdom’s benevolent royal family: the young kiddie Royals Princess Gwendolyn and her brother Prince Hubert (interestingly, I seem to remember Hubert being chubby and was surprised to discover while doing research for this special that he wasn’t; I guess I just assumed he was fat due to the prodigious amounts of junk food cluttering the landscape) and their parents who are imaginatively named King and Queen (yes, you heard right: there’s a Queen. Not only is the queen of the family not just straight-up dead–so you know this isn’t a Disney special–but she’s not evil; taking notes, Hasbro? make Celestia and Frostine queens like they should be already!). Queenie is a tall, regal beauty, while the King is short and squat (it must be love if he’s cool with mating with someone taller than he is) and apparently he has the same dialogue coach as Mayor McCheese.
The giant magic lollipop is used once a year to purify the water in Tum-Tum. The citizens can then use this purified water to make delicious lollipops. But oh noes! There is EEEEVIL abound.
Even in a land where the populace eats tons and tons of candy, this guy is no looker.
It seems that some villainous green-skinned dude named Baron Bad Blood (really? Was the name Major Mean-Guy already taken?) wants to steal the giant magic lollipop for his own nefarious purposes. It seems that Mr. Green-Spleen’s evil plan is to take over Tum-Tum so he can make his own brand of liver-flavored lollipops. Yes, I kid you not: he wants to make liver-flavored lollipops.
When Shredder and Krang are laughing at how dumb-ass your villain plan is, you’re not very good at this. Move over Sogmaster, with your plans to ruin breakfast, there’s someone gunning for your title of Lamest Bad Guy Plan ever.
Anyway, the Baron and his henchman, some talking bright red ball of lint named Cosmo (there are Technicolor lollipop making talking dragons, a six-armed hippie troll and a royal family in this special, so why not?) swipes the magic lollipop, and Lollipop Dragon and pals (specifically the baby dragons, Harry and the Prince and Princess;
“Sure”, say the King and Queen, “take our underage kids on a dangerous quest to face an evil despot where they could be seriously injured or killed. Have a ball!”) give chase, facing down the Baron in his barren wasteland (these idyllic storybook lands always seem to border some kingdom of darkness, don’t they?) where they get briefly captured, get free again, sing some songs about thinking happy thoughts, the Power of Friendship, the Magic of Dreams or the Heart of the Cards or something similar, and the kid dragons help out by using their special abilities. It is here where we finally get to see Cuddles’ power: when the Baron’s henchman Cosmo attacks, Cuddles puts the whammy on him, causing him to fall in love with the Baron, with hearts sprouting out all around him and him saying, “Aw, I just ADORE ya, boss! Gimme a kissee!”
So THAT’S Cuddles’ power?? Wow. Just wow. No wonder the Xavier Academy won’t return his calls.
Anyways, the gang retrieves the magic lollipop and escape. The Baron gives chase and tries to zap them with a bolt of dark magic, but he instead hits one of the mirrors in his mirror maze (just go with it) and gets turned into a tree. Yes, a tree.
“I actually had a pithy comment right on time for this turn of events, but that’s not what you fanboys want to hear from me, so I’ll just say what you’ve been waiting for: I AM GROOT. Happy??” So Lollipop and pals return home safely, Hubert and Gwendolyn are reunited with their parents, the magic lollipop is returned to its’ rightful place and the day is saved. Lollipop tops everything off by singing a psychedelic song about love, luck and lollipops, accompanied by Harry on keyboard, Gwen on guitar and Hubert on drums.
“We were Pop Sugar before it was cool!”
“What a bunch of tree-huggin’ hippie crap!”
For the “second half” of Lollipop Dragon’s outing, it’s suddenly wintertime in Tum-Tum (wink, wink) and there’s a big sled race under way, the winner of which will get their fondest desire granted. So the Baron is back and enters the race himself so he can finally fulfill his wish of mass marketing his liver flavored lollipops. Uh…didn’t the Baron get turned into a tree in the first story? Not gonna offer any explanation of how he came back? Nobody? Just sweeping this under the rug, huh? Okay…
You can guess the rest: Lollipop and friends enter the race so the Baron won’t win, Baron cheats, Baron fails, the good guys win, then Lollipop suddenly remembers that this is supposed to be a Christmas special and sings us another hippie song, this time about how special Christmas is. Here’s the opening number of the Xmas special:
“Lads, I think we’re still on acid!”
So that’s Lollipop Dragon. And if you’re not down with that, he’s got 2 words for ya:
Today’s 2 Funny comes to us from Jeff Drew. I first saw this short on the late TechTV channel’s art house computer animated film compilation show Eye Drops. It’s about…3 minutes and 58 seconds long. You really have to see it for yourself. Enjoy WALK!.
(Incidentally, the song played throughout this short is called “Powerhouse Pop” by Keith Mansfield, for those who may be be interested in purchasing it.)
We’re flashing back a bit for today’s Nerdvana. For those of you old enough to remember The Monkees, this has always been one of my favorite songs of theirs. It never got the praise and recognition of “I’m a Believer” or “Pleasant Valley Sunday”, but it’s a fave of mine, nonetheless. (We Aquarians typically ride the road less traveled.) Here’s “Star Collector”.
This is one of my favorite animated short films. Don’t anyone tell me that 2D animation is dead. Not only does this short look absolutely amazing, but it’s highly imaginative. I don’t know what those little creatures are supposed to be, but I want one. Here’s Michael Gagne’s “Prelude to Eden”. Enjoy:
It’s December, and that means that it’s time to settle in front of the boob tube and be bombarded with the usual array of unrelenting Christmas themed TV specials. All of the classics that you know and love that the networks run every year. So to mark this occasion, today we’re going to focus on a Christmas special that ran for a couple of years in syndication and was then largely forgotten: a slice of 1980s cheese titled Yogi’s First Christmas.
Holiday cheer…we’re full of it!
Yogi’s First Christmas is a 1980 holiday-themed television film first aired on November 21, 1980, and produced by Hanna-Barbera. Throughout the 1980s it was offered to U.S. television networks broken up as a one-week strip syndicated program, generally showing the week of Christmas, one episode per day for four days, although I originally saw it in it’s full 2 hour version, again in syndication. Not to be confused with Casper’s First Christmas, which is a half hour H-B special that aired on NBC in 1979.
Wait…Casper and Hairy Scary have never heard of Christmas? When did these guys die, anyway? Yeah, they’re ghosts, but they’re not aliens. They should at least know of the holiday, even if they don’t celebrate it. OK, I’ll save that kind of nitpicking for Talkin’ Nerdy. Back to the show…
We begin with Huckleberry Hound, Snagglepuss, Augie Doggie and Doggy Daddy traveling in a snowmobile while singing the song “Comin’ Up Christmastime”(which is one of 2 songs that were previously performed on Casper’s First Christmas). They’re on their way to Jellystone Lodge (why not?) to celebrate the holiday. Yogi and Boo-Boo are usually hibernating during the Christmas season, even though both characters were wide awake to celebrate the holidays in Casper’s First Christmas just a year earlier. Contradict yourselves much? It’s probably best to just consider these H-B specials as each being in their own separate continuity, like the Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z movies. Anyway, Yogi and Boo-Boo are soon awakened by the rest of the gang, which also includes Ranger Smith, hotel manager Mr. Dingwell and Otto the chef. The gang is obsessed with keeping the lodge’s owner, one Sophie Throckmorton, happy so that she won’t close down the lodge, which has become unpopular due to activity caused by Herman the Hermit, a grumpy Christmas-hating hermit who just wants to be left alone, that is when he isn’t prospectin’ fer gold and shooing revenuers off’n his property. Mrs. Throckmorton has arrived to the lodge with her nephew Snively, a rotten brat with a voice that sounds like he’s been gargling with gravel. Seriously, who names their kid Snively? Unless his parents want him to become a horse opera villain. Snively perpetually has his shorts in a bunch because he hates all things associated with Christmas. Yeah, you get the week off from school and a pile of toys for doing nothing. Christmas sucks if you’re a kid.
Snively: Look at me! I wear long pants indoors but change into shorts when I go out in the snow because I make no sense!
Yogi and Boo Boo are put to work as employees of the lodge. Yogi is first ordered to operate the snowplow, to which he saves Mrs. Throckmorton on the road from an avalanche caused by Herman. Later, Yogi is working as a bellboy, where he is tasked by Ranger Smith to stay on Mrs. Throckmorton’s good side. Though Snively tries to embarrass Yogi with his pranks, Yogi comes out on top.
Also, during a lodge scene, Boo-Boo sings the “Hope” song, which was previously used in A Christmas Story. No, not the movie starring Peter Billingsley, but a 1972 animated special with the same title.
“Wow. And they say I’m lazy!”
In another attempt to degrade Yogi, Snively tricks him into entering a figure skating contest, which Snively is also a participant. Although Snively earns high marks, Mrs. Throckmorton covertly wishes Snively would lose in order to tame his poor attitude. Yogi, the last contestant, manages to impress the judges well enough to earn the highest marks and win. Snively is a sore loser and enraged that Yogi beat him at his own game, but his aunt Sophie says that Yogi won fair and square and losing is a lesson of life. Fed up with Snively’s antics, Yogi gets revenge on him during an ice fishing contest, with Mrs. Throckmorton agreeing that he needed to be taught a lesson. Furious, Snively runs away and meets up with Herman, and the two team up to ruin Christmas, when they proceed to sing a song about how they’re “mean, sour, nasty and cruel”, a song that would later be re-used, rewritten slightly and sung by Gargamel in an episode of Smurfs.
Snively: Yeah! Let’s go ruin Christmas! Herman: Hang on a sec. There’s a tick in my beard and I wanna save that bad boy fer desert!
Cindy Bear also awakens from her hibernation, to help Yogi out (due to her love and concern for him). There’s a running joke within the special of Cindy trying to get Yogi under the mistletoe so that she can give him a smooch. She explains her desire to Boo-Boo and then…this happens.
Ah, there’s a little something for the furries.
BOM-CHIKKA-WOW-WOW!
That bit almost cost them their G rating. Is this a Christmas special or Showgirls? If Cindy starts doing a striptease, I’m leaving.
Back to the plot. The tag team of Herman the Hermit and Snively set out to ruin Christmas, but Yogi, through a combination of wit and dumb luck, thwarts them every time. Back at the lodge, Mrs. Throckmorton forbids her nephew Snively from attending the gang’s tree trimming party (Gee, I wonder why). Snively is distraught. (Am I supposed to be feeling sorry for this little snot right now? ‘Cause I don’t. Montana Max is cuddlier than this kid!) But instead of Snively getting the ass whuppin’ that he’s been asking for since this thing started, he instead is invited by Herman to join him outside of the lodge in the freezing cold for some vittles and roadkill (Now that’s good eatin’!).
Meanwhile, The gang is celebrating their tree trimming party where they sing “Making A Big To-Do”, the other song that was re-used from Casper’s First Christmas. You gotta love Hanna Barbera; those guys were recycling before it was fashionable.
Yogi dresses up in a Santa Claus suit and plans to surprise the lodge guests, but his plans take a surprising turn when the real Santa shows up and makes the scene before Yogi does.
“Yeah, I can’t believe I showed up for this thing either!”
Hands up. Who saw that coming?
Yogi, Santa and company spot Herman and Snively freezing outside, but instead of throwing rotten fruit at them, they instead invite the 2 of them inside to celebrate Christmas, where both of them have a profound change of heart and spirit. Santa even gives Herman a present. So, Herman has hated Christmas with a burning passion for years, possibly decades, and he changes his tune almost instantly?
“Can you say ‘plot contrivance’, boys and girls? I knew that you could.”
Anyway, Herman would later re-join society and find some people with similar beleifs, and fashion sense.
Oh, and Cindy gets her kiss from Yogi also, by the way.
BOM-CHIKKA-WOW-WOW!
Santa gives Yogi a basket full of food, however, Yogi has fallen asleep. Prompting Snively say “Good night, you ol’ fuzzball. You’re some terrific character.”
Shut up, Snively!
Santa then says that Yogi and Boo Boo can have the basket when they wake up in the spring. With that, the partiers return Yogi, Boo Boo and Cindy to their caves for the rest of their hibernation. Shlock a doodle doo.
So that’s Yogi’s First Christmas. It could have been better, but it could have been worse. if you want to check it out, it’s floating around on YouTube. The special is also available on DVD and VHS, although personally, I suggest renting it first. But what do others think?
“Yeah, listen, Teddy Ruxpin. Stick to swiping picnic baskets and leave the “holly-jolly” stuff to the experts! Me and Rudolph, we are Christmas! Represent!”
Twin Images 
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