Cartoon Country: A Touch of Magix

Back in October, Cartoon Country took us on a guided tour of Superhero City. In that article, we caught a brief glimpse of Magix, you know, that floating magical cloud city thingy which hovered in the sky above Superhero City and was attached to the city by that rainbow doo-dad.


Yeah, that one.

Well today, we’ve been given clearance to take an extensive tour of this unique spot. So strap in, fasten your seat belts, and…

Ever Rainbow

Take it to the Rainbow Bridge!

While the denizens of Superhero City like to refer to Magix as SHC’s “sister city”, resembling a shiny, sparkling pink-and-gold self-contained city housed atop a puffy pinkish cloud which floats some 10,000 feet above Superhero City, attached to the shores and beaches of SHC by the Ever Rainbow, Magix is in fact an outer-dimensional asteroid realm. Magix is also the name of the capital city within this planetoid realm.


So the capital of the city of Magix is the city of Magix. Confused yet?

As its’ name implies, the asteroid Magix is surrounded by, well, magic. The air around the planetoid reeks of bananas and kumquats (that’s what white magic smells like, BTW; very few people know that). These magical energies are what keep Magix afloat and from falling through the cloud it’s housed upon, magic controls the climate in and around Magix and prevents the city from interfering with or being interfered with by our planet’s ecosystem…

S&G 2

…And magic is what keeps the asteroid’s structures, rivers, trees and inhabitants (hereinafter referred to as Mythicals by scientists with too much free time) from floating off into space. Now, about said inhabitants…

Generally speaking, Magix’s citizenry can be filed into 2 distinct categories (by bureaucrats with too much free time): Mages and Enchanteds.


Mages, no prizes for guessing, are beings capable of performing magic, sorcery and spell-casting. Mages make up around 70% of Magix’s population, no mystery there, given how the realm is slopping over with mana (or magical energy, as defined by World of Warcraft players with too much free time).

Rapunzel 4

Enchanteds can’t consciously cast spells the way Mages can, but they are no less mystical in their own right. Enchanteds can sense the presence of magic anywhere and possess a strong psychic, almost supernatural connection to nature and animals, as well as innate prodigious expertise in specific fields, skills and talents, which are unique to each Enchanted. You could call the Enchanteds Passive Mages.


“And janitors wanna be called ‘Resident Stationery Engineers’, but it ain’t gonna happen!”

Common types of Mages include:


Fairies, a class of all-female winged hippie hotties…


Pixies, basically like Fairies, only smaller, like wallabies to kangaroos…

Farran 2

Elves, Fairies with no wings and a Y chromosome…


And Witches, the Gingers to the Fairies’ Mary-Anns.

Winx Fairies

“Though we dress cooler!”

Common Enchanted types include…

Little Tiana and Lottie

Royals, Kings and Queens and Princesses and Princes, basically the blue-bloods. (And that’s not just a figure of speech; if you prick them, you’ll see that their blood is actually blue!)…


Heroes, or Specialists, who use their great strength, speed, cunning, cool tech and weapons and awesome hair to save the day (Hoo-Rah)…

Heidi's Song 2

Earthers, country dwellers who are full-on into nature, animals, the earth, earth-based activities like farming, baking, caring for animals…and barefootin’ it…


Jesters or Clowns, humanoids who live to joke, have fun and make people laugh and smile. (Seriously, chuckles are better than sex to these folks)…


And Pirates, genuine swashbucklers who can sense treasure from miles away.


The difference is that their ships fly!

Common animal species you’ll encounter in Magix are magical creatures like Unicorns


“My real magic power is that I’m DOLLING! (That’s an extreme form darling, BTW.)”

Palace Pets, extremely adorable creatures with the power to calm and delight who live in the gardens, forests and wilds between Magix’s palaces and are often adopted as companions/familiars to the Royals…


“You will succumb to the cuteness. Resistance is futile.”



Enjoy them while they’re in their cute baby stage; they grow to be 50 feet high.

..And Monsters.


It’s a one-eyed Purple People Eater. Insert your own Sheb Wooley joke here.


“Obscure joke. Talk to your parents.”


The monsters and some (though not all) of the witches reside in Darkmoon, a creepy dark forest on the outskirts of Magix. It’s always nighttime in Darkmoon, even when it’s bright and sunny everywhere else, perpetually shrouded underneath a sinister looking moon.

Majoras Mask Moon

Yeaah….it’s probably best not to look directly at it.

Not unlike our world, Magix is presently undergoing an era of Political Correctness, due to many of the previously disparate lands and kingdoms having been recently united under the rule of the Candy Kingdom, after their rulers King Kandy and Queen Frostine having won this decade’s Hungry Games.


“Don’t give us that look! We didn’t resort to any underhanded chicanery or hostility! We merely suggested that the previously rivaling factions come together under us and enjoy and era of peace, prosperity, love, luck and lollipops!”

Queen Frostine

“It was purely voluntary, but we knew the other kingdoms would come around to our way of thinking. Gosh, who wants to be fed to the silly old Pain Monster??”

To their credit, under the Candy Kingdom’s rule, Magix has become very rich and prosperous.

The capital city of Magix. Home to Fantasy Land’s 1%.

If you have enough of Magix’s chief monetary unit, the gold coin…

Wario with Gold Coins

“Cha-Ching, bee-yotches!”

…You can go into the shopping center in Magix’s town square and purchase the latest and greatest magic wands.


They cost a little more, but they’re worth it. Trust me, you don’t want to buy some cheap knockoff from off the streets.

The Merchant

The few Outlanders who get to see Magix from the inside are often surprised to discover how technologically advanced the realm is. Magix has Spell Phones (they’re like cellphones except they run on magic instead of electricity), Spell-o-Vision, computers and flying vehicles such as Wind Riders.

Wind Riders


“Hey, your realm isn’t suck in medieval times, why do ya think ours is?”

The Candy Rulers have even started a high-profile, exclusive private school within the capital, the Cloud Tower Academy for Magic and Might.


Within these walls, Magix’s richest and most privileged young fairies, witches, wizards and heroes-to-be learn their respective crafts and get out of their parents’ collective hair for a few hours, fed by the realm’s finest chefs and taught by the greatest sorcerers in all the land.


“Yeah, it’s me. I teach Advanced Black Magic and Junior Curses here. It’s part of my work-release program and community service. I’m also under house arrest; if I even think of committing an act of treachery, I’ll be instantly teleported to Hell, or worse, the Deep South!”

Now, you may recall during our Superhero City tour, that originally the rulers of Magix didn’t want us poking our noses around their realm. What made them change their minds, you ask? It took some heavy negotiations and a HUGE donation of lollipops.


When we gave the Candy Royal Family an entire room full of lollipops, they turned over like a dog begging for a treat.

Princess Lolly

“What can I say? My parents are suckers for suckers!”

Cartoon Country: Flipping the Script – Chowder

It’s script-flipping time again! Today the show we’ll be giving the business to is C.H. Greenblatt’s Chowder.

Chowder 2

How would I fix/improve/mutate Chowder? Let’s start with the title character….


I’d make the titular character a human, specifically a girl human. There’s no reason for the character to be an anthro, and boy-centric shows are all over the tube.

I’d also infuse the lead character with a touch more gray matter. As an apprentice chef, she shouldn’t be perfect, she should still be a touch scatterbrained and bumble from time to time, but she wouldn’t be portrayed as Too Stupid to Live. For that matter, there’s also no real reason for her to be an orphan, let’s make her guardians Mung Daal and Truffles her actual parents. Speaking of…

For the Mung Daal, no major surgery is needed; just make him younger, less of a grotesque and less of a Lothario. He wouldn't need to have such a roving eye after the changes being made to Truffles...

For the Mung Daal character, no major surgery is needed; just make him younger, less of a grotesque and less of a Lothario. He wouldn’t need to have such a roving eye after the changes being made to Truffles…

Truffles could retain some of her original sass and sharpness, but she'd definitely be kinder, gentler and more maternal. The abrasive grouch shtick just wasn't doing it for me. Even Greenblatt realized that a little Truffles went a long way, so he relegated the character to only turning up occasionally in the later episodes of the series.

Truffles could retain some of her original sass and sharpness, but she’d definitely be kinder, gentler and more maternal. The abrasive grouch shtick just wasn’t doing it for me. Even Greenblatt realized that a little Truffles went a long way, so he relegated the character to only turning up occasionally in the later episodes of the series.

Other changes:

The lead characters would still work at a catering company, but I'd place a greater emphasis on sweets and desserts, 'cause who doesn't love desserts?

The lead characters would still work at a catering company, but I’d place a greater emphasis on sweets and desserts, ’cause who doesn’t love desserts?

  • Only the central characters who work at the catering company would be named after foods, sweets, desserts and dishes, not everybody in the entire freaking universe. That was just overkill.
  • Greenblatt’s original idea was for the show to be about a sorcerer’s apprentice; while I do like that idea, I also like the culinary shtick too and don’t want to lose that, so I’d combine the 2 (go with me on this): in this universe artists, chefs and other creative/talented types would function as the wizards and mages of this world, with their particular crafts, skills and talents serving as their “magic”. These talents would also enable these gifted individuals to perform some light magic, like telekinesis, matter transformation, etc. Odd, but I think it could work.
  • There would be a greater emphasis on the lead characters’ filling food orders, cooking, preparing recipes and hunting/searching for ingredients. Not that that has to be dominating force of each and every episode, but it is the principal premise of the show, and I feel it was abandoned far too soon and too greatly in the later episodes.
  • I’d do away with the all of the other apprentice characters on the show. If every kid in Marzipan City is somebody’s apprentice, then there’s nothing special about Chowder.
  • Endive would still be around, but I’d make her rivalry with Mung less personal and make her more of a Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force or Squidward Tentacles type character: a pompous jerk who regularly receives her come-uppance. And I’d definitely tone down her man-hungry libido.
  • Lose Panini. She could have been a decent girl character had the writers not opted to crank her up to full-blown one-dimensional stalker mode. Besides, with the Chowder character now being a girl, there’s no need for her character.
  • I’d keep Gazpacho around with no real changes made to him, except I’d keep his appearances brief and only use him when he’s called for. I wouldn’t shamelessly shoehorn the character into every single episode.
  • I’d greatly tone down on the breaking-the-4th-wall jokes and meta references. I’m generally not a fan of excessive 4th wall breaking because it kills tension if the characters know what’s going to happen, thus ruining any surprise. It also breaks suspension of disbelief by calling attention to the fact that it’s just a cartoon/work of fiction and therefore the audience can’t or shouldn’t get emotionally involved with anything that’s happening.
  • Lose Reuben. I’m a fan of Paul Reubens, but I never liked Reuben.

Finally, what about Shnitzel?

I wouldn’t change anything about him. Shnitzel’s fine the way he is. No need to fix something that isn’t broken.


The rock monster stays in the picture!

Why Twilight Sparkle is Awesome!

  1. She’s a unicorn, and unicorns are naturally cool.*
  2.  She’s purple, my favorite color.
  3. She has a big ol’ brain. Anyone who studies magic and science is OK in my book!
  4. Prior to moving to Ponyville, she was an anti-social recluse. I can relate.
  5. That mane and tail. You’ve just got to love the streaks.
  6.  She’s voiced by Tara Strong.
  7.  Until recently, she lived in a tree house with a magical lightning rod so’s not to get struck by lightning. Now that’s thinking green!
  8. I just plain like the name “Twilight Sparkle”. It rolls off the tongue nicely.
  9. She has purple eyes.
  10. She has mad organization skills.
  11. She hangs out with a dragon, which makes her cool by association.
  12.  She’s got that bitchin’ cutie mark.
  13.  She was mentored by Princess (should be Queen) Celestia, babysat by another princess (Cadence) and her brother (Shining Armor) is a member of the Royal Guard, so she’s connected.
  14. Her Element of Harmony is Magic. The other Elements are OK too, for the “hippy-dippy” stuff, but magic can actually kick ass.
  15. She can do the Elaine from Seinfeld dance.
  16.  In an alternate reality, she looks like this:

You’ve got the look!

*Yes, I know that Twilight Sparkle is an allicorn now, but honestly, I prefer Twilight before she became a princess. I think that the whole allicorn princess thing should have been saved for the series finale, but that’s just me.