Nerdvana: The Future Still Rocks!

Last time on Nerdvana…


One fateful day in the 21st century, a band of wise and powerful but kinda aggressive and brutally frank alien emissaries arrived on Earth, planning to open a chain of spaceship fueling stations on our planet; if we put a stop to the constant wars, in-fighting, prejudice and environmental abuse, they promised to introduce Earth to the wonders of the universe. If we didn’t, they promised to fry us all like chicken. We wisely chose the first option.


Fast Forward 1000 years…

Happy Earth 2

By the 31st century, the planet Earth is a happy, peaceful Utopia. World Peace has been achieved, all of the world’s nations have merged into one, the planet has been opened up to the rest of the galaxy to the point where there are now numerous alien species, cultures and races living on Earth alongside humans, crime, poverty and pollution have been practically eliminated, humans diseases, handicaps and illnesses have been wiped out, race and gender discrimination are things of the past thanks to centuries of interracial cross-breeding and gene-splicing (nobody really knows what anybody is anymore, since everybody’s a mix of several things), thanks to modern medicine, people live longer; 75 is the new 35 and no one physically ages beyond 25, so everyone looks young and hot, the world economy has boomed to the point where people’s financial situations range from rich to mega-rich to stupid rich, ice cream has been replaced by a newer, better substance called Twice Cream, which comes in 731 flavors (and counting) and candy is good for your teeth.

Since all of Earth’s countries have merged, a new flag had to be created:


…And since Earth is now the galaxy’s melting pot, accommodating a slew of extraterrestrials as well as humans, the Olympics have become intergalactic, creating the need for its’ logo to also be restructured.

Future Olympic Rings


Nowhere is this NWWO (New Wonderful World Order) more evident than in Cyber City, a bright, shiny, colorful, bustling but blissful cosmopolis which is sort of like a world in microcosm. Cyber City is the melting pot of Earth, which itself is the melting pot of the galaxy, full of over 100 races, cultures and species, each pooling their knowledge, powers, skills, talents and resources in order to live the 31st century’s equivalent of the Good Life. Cyber City is so large in fact that it takes up an entire 1/6 of Earth’s surface.

Language is no longer a barrier thanks to Translator Microchips, which everyone in the galaxy has implanted in their ears shortly after birth.


Thanks to these puppies, whenever anyone speaks to you, you will hear your own native language, and when you talk to anyone else, they will hear their native tongue.


“So now foreign languages teachers are obsolete. Thanks, the future!”


Earth’s primary  population consists of Humans (or Native Earthicans), Space-Born Aliens (or New Earthicans), Wildlife (both Earth-born and alien) and Artificial Intelligence. Due to the diverse mix of beings who now live on Earth, the planet’s climate is now artificially and mystically controlled, with the temperature being kept at a balmy 73 degrees Fahrenheit. Cyber City is set for a variety of breathable atmospheres in order to be permeable to the mix of sentient beings living on Earth.


Cloud City

Future Cityscape

Cyber City’s Northern region consists of a posh community in the clouds.

Orbit City

Dee-luxe apartments in the sky-eye-eye…

Not only is this cloud-covered, sky high, high end, high maintenance area home to aerial based species, such as the Altheans, an all-female race of winged mystics (basically space fairies)…

Winx Fairies

johnny bravo

“Whoa, Mama! Sign me up for flyin’ lessons!”

…But it’s also home to Cyber City’s Alphas: the top tier genetically enhanced metahumans, the elite Visitors from Space, the world leaders, the most decorated military commanders, the powerful wizards and mages, the richest celebrities, the great artists, all the achievers and A-Listers.


“Yeah, we’re basically above it all.”



Future Port 2

The South Side of Cyber City is set up like a water park, more or less. (Well, more actually.) The entire area is surrounded by ocean and the land structures are built around it. It’s a lush and tropical landscape…


…And it also boasts an underwater living complex in order to accommodate the galaxy’s various water and liquid based beings and creatures. If you don’t swim, sail, surf or splash, then you’ve got no business in South Cyber City.


“Surf’s up, dude!”


“I was born a kelp farmer’s daughter…”

johnny bravo

“Whoa, baby! Lemme grab muh Speedoes!”



Cyber City’s Eastern region is the technological hub, boasting the greatest and most impressive devices (and for the future, that’s really saying something). It houses the main headquarters of Megacorp, THE  largest Techno-Cosmic Research and Innovation corporation/mega-conglomerate on the planet.

Megacorp was founded by tech trillionaire Mo Green…

J Moneymaker

“Cha-ching, baby!”

…in concert with his business partner, mad scientist Professor Lester Crazaloon.


“Actually, I just get slightly annoyed from time to time.”


This combination of corporate sharkery and Mad Science has made Megacorp gazillions of dollars. Megacorp’s money helped to fund Cyber City, its’ technology helped build it, and 2/3 of its’ citizenry work for Megacorp in some capacity or regularly use its’ many products and services daily, whether they know it or not.


“Spooky, huh?”

The galaxy’s top races of scientists, technicians, inventors, engineers, geniuses and techno-geeks flock to East Cyber City to handle Earth’s cybernetics, information technology, financial services and banking. It’s like Silicon Valley meets Wall Street…



Robot Love

Folks in Cyber City do love their robots…some in more ways than one.

Megacorp is responsible for the handheld devices that replaced smartphones, the 3 W’s: Wizrds, Wi-Tris and Wands.


Wizrds are nearly indestructible and its signal cannot be blocked by any metal or alloy. However, it does not work around pudding. Among its’ capabilities are:

  • Two Way Communication
  • Short Range Teleportation
  • Hyperspeed
  • Moleular Recomposition
  • Shrink Ray
  • Temporary stasis
  • Statufication (transforming something into a statue)
  • Hologram projection
  • X-ray vision
  • Liquification
  • Calculation
  • Research
  • Laser Beam
  • Tractor Beam
  • Cloning Objects
  • Voice Conversion
  • Wiz Track(tracking other wizard signals)

-Oh yeah, and you can also make calls with them.

Wi-Tri 3

Wi-Tris do all the same thing Wizrds do, but they’re entirely hard-light, no solid parts. Also, Wi-Tris are more expensive.


Wands are for mages, ‘Nuff said.




West Siii-eeed!

dr slump-1

Cyber City’s Western region is the most populated, as well as the most culturally diverse. It is where Cyber County (aka the Cyber Suburbs) are located…

Flying Car

White picket fences around every home and a flying car in every garage.

…And is home to a wide range of humans, humanoids and compatible races/species.

Dora and Friends 1

As mentioned previously, the dominant human race on the planet are the Polypalasians, a mixture of all of Earth’s races. This, combined with generations of inter-breeding and gene-splicing, have rendered all humans a mixture of something or other.


“So basically ya put hate comics outta work. Tanks, da future!”

West Cyber City also has the greatest concentration of Mutanimals.

Jet the Hawk

“I know I can fly, but hoverboards are cool!”

Beastly Kingdom

Native to Earth, the Mutanimals were created when a radioactive meteorite crashed into a national zoo, mutating its’ occupants and making the creatures there sapient and near-humanoid, living in a tribal society. Today, the Mutanimals make up about 12% of Earth’s sapient population.


“I’m an avid reader of Hemingway and Asimov, and yes, I do have a tire swing in my rec room. Wanna make something of it?”

And thanks to scientists noodling with nature and DNA, there are also dragons…


…And dinosaurs in Zooropa as well. Isn’t Mad Science great?


Olivia 4

Despite their relatively accelerated intellects, Mutanimals are still somewhat primitive, and several of them will gladly leave Zooropa in order to become pets (or ‘companions’, as some prefer) for human and humanoid Earthicans.


“Hey, you! LOVE ME!!”

Veenie and Marion

1st, 2nd and 3rd generation aliens (or “Space People”, as they prefer to be called) are also a common sight in Cyber City. Among the most frequently encountered Space People are Martians and Omatranians.


Martians are easily identified by their green skin and antennae. Mars is located very close to Earth, so it’s easy for Martians to get here. Mars is to Earth what Canada was to America in ancient times.


Omatranians hail from the advanced planet of Omatran, whose inhabitants possess twice the brain capacity of humans (quite literally, an Omatranian brain has 8 lobes as opposed to the 4 lobes possessed by a human’s brain). Since Omatranians are innately proficient in the fields of science, technology, engineering and mathematics, they are in great demand to fill tech positions on Earth. You’d be hard pressed to find an Earth tech company which doesn’t have at least 2 Omatranians on it’s payroll.

Omatranians come in 2 colors: blue…


…And there’s also a purple breed. What’s the difference between a blue Omantranian and a purple one?



Black Building

Due to the influx of aliens emigrating to Earth, Area 51 was converted to the Extraterrestrial Immigration Center. There Space People are registered to become legal Earthican citizens, providing they sign the necessary paperwork pledging to never try to conquer the planet or attempt to enslave its’ populace.


“My Khoros born wife was sworn in as an Earthican citizen today, so we had to go to the E.T.I.C. How long were we there, hon?”


“Three, maybe four minutes. Man, those lines are long!”

All of this is overseen by the President of Earth, former actress, comedienne, talk show host and superhero, Ebony Sable, seen here with Vice President Snowball.


She won by a landslide, securing the women vote, the African-Earthican vote, the metahuman vote and the hyper-intelligent gorilla vote!

Nerdvana: The Future Will Rock!

Back in May 2016, Nerdvana introduced you to the future society of Cyber City.

Jason and I are big fans of Utopian futures and sci-fi stuff, so we’ve both been itching to delve further into this amazing future world, so let’s delve into the fictional events which led Earth to its’ idyllic life in the distant fictional future…all the way to the year 3000.



Back in ancient times, back when people still put ice in their drinks, video games only played in 3 dimensions, pizzas were still flat and round and gangster rappers roamed the lands, things were pretty dicey. Society was sorely divided among warring factions.


“Right!” “Left!”

“Black!” “White!”

“Red!” “Blue!”

“Traditional!” “Progressive!”

“Force!” “Diplomacy!”

“Isolationism!” “Globalization!”

“Uniformity!” “Diversity!”

“COKE!!” “PEPSI!!”

People were so mired in their internal conflicts that they barely noticed them the day they came.

Flying Saucers 2

No one saw them coming. They just appeared in the sky. Flying saucers. (Cliche, yes, but that’s what they were.) There were 7 of them, one for each continent. For 3 days they just hung there in the sky. People tried making contact, armies tried blasting them, but they deflected everything and didn’t budge an inch. Then on a Thursday, just as everyone was settling down to watch Cash Cab, the ships suddenly sprung to life all at once and intercepted every TV and satellite signal on the planet (including public access and the Cooking Channel). This is what they said:


“Greetings, Earthies. We are the senior emissaries from the Democratic Order of Planets, or DOOP for short. For the past 4 days we have been monitoring your world, after receiving word that your planet existed and that there was said to be intelligent life on it (someone read this on a tabloid).”


“Now for the purpose of our arrival: Your world is what you’d call a Goldilocks Planet, positioned at a safe distance from your sun and capable of supporting and sustaining numerous forms of life, a rarity among the cosmos.”

Nexus Point

“Even rarer, your planet is on a key nexus point in the galaxy, on the direct path of travel and commerce between several worlds affiliated with DOOP.”

Future Fueling Station 3

“Our plan is to establish a set of intergalactic fueling stations on your Earth, so space travelers will be able to safely re-fuel their starships while traveling between worlds, and possibly grab a snack and get some minor repair-work done while they wait. Normally, in exchange for housing these stations, we would give the host planet enormous advances in science, technology and medicine, ushering said world into a new Golden Age of enlightenment and prosperity.”


“But not the way you yahoos act! We’ve been watching you guys these past few days, and your society is all F-ed up! You use every piddling detail you can think of to act really crappy to one another! You prejudice against each other because of what color your skin is?? Please! On my planet people come in 10 colors, and guess what? NOBODY CARES!”


“Yeah, you guys basically suck, but we’re reasonable beings, so we’re prepared to make you an offer: you have 365 of your Earth days, that’s one year, to clean up your collective act. Dissolve these pointless factions, unite as a people and repair the damages your stupid bickering has caused to your societies. If you do this, we’ll install the fueling stations and introduce you to the wonders of the cosmos and all that good stuff. If you don’t, well, we’re just going to vaporize your entire population, then after we’ve swept your remains away, we’ll just put the stations here anyway. Your planet can be re-terraformed, you guys can’t!”


“Oh, and one more thing: don’t try any of that Independence Day BS. Your weapons are useless against us. In fact, any act of hostility by any of you will be considered a breach of our agreement and we’ll just vaporize you right then and there! It’s a simple equation, folks: EVOLVE OR DIE. Emissaries out!”

God May Not Be Through With You Yet...

Naturally, at first there was panic in the streets.

But after the predicted strings of rioting and suicides, the intelligent people did get the idea that whatever side they happened to fall on, it wasn’t going to matter if everyone was dead. So all of the remaining populace put in what is now considered the hardest piece of work in recorded history. With just weeks to spare, World Peace was finally declared.

Google Doodle March 31st

“We…are the World.”


It’s amazing what you can accomplish when faced with the threat of global annihilation!

Utopian City 2

The aliens were true to their word. Not only did they not wipe us out, but they did indeed treat humanity to HUGE advances in technology, science, medicine and agriculture. Over time, Earth became a technologically advanced, environmentally friendly Utopia where all the world’s nations merged into one, and crime, poverty and diseases were all systematically eliminated (the common cold was eradicated in 2034, then the rest of the illness all fell like dominoes).


The DOOP fueling stations were installed on Earth. As a result, many alien species began regularly passing through the planet, and several of them opted to stay, making Earth their new home. Today, in the year 3000, the planet Earth is a galactic melting pot, home to numerous alien species. This is the inevitability of cleaning up the place…

Alien Tourist

Once you make the world safe and clean, you open it up for the tourists!

Unpopular Opinions: The Jetsons

Usually I like to start these segments with a clever little intro that segue ways into the main point, but this time I can’t think of any way to sugar-coat this particular thesis, so I’m just going to come right out and say it…


The Jetsons is boring.

There, I said it.

I know that it’s considered a classic cartoon. I know that it’s a staple of Hanna-Barbera. I know that many people regard it as iconic. But it’s still as dull as dishwater. The stories are dull. The characters are dull. The jokes are dull. And the depiction of the World of Tomorrow (TM) is really, really dull. The latter is particularly puzzling, since distant future settings are usually cool. We here at Twinsanity love the Utopian future setting (as referenced in “The Future Rocks!”) but on The Jetsons there’s absolutely nothing you’d find fun to watch.

Alien on Hoverboard

Where are the cool aliens?


Where are the hoverboards?


Where’s the cool future tech?

Where’s the mind-boggling science fiction stuff? The only remotely cool thing on The Jetsons is the flying cars. That’s it. You can’t even fall back on the appeal of the show’s main cast, since the titular characters are likewise as dull as a plain dry piece of toast. Sure, Elroy’s smart and Judy’s nice to look at, but the show didn’t even mine those elements for all they could.

Yeah, when HB brought the show back in syndication in the 80’s, they added a new character, Orbitty…


…And what did he add to the show? I’ll tell you:


Absolutely nothing.

-It should probably be mentioned that like it’s predecessor The Flintstones, which was basically just The Honeymooners in animated form, cross-pollinated with the Tex Avery MGM short The First Bad Man, The Jetsons is similarly based on an existing fictional staple, Blondie.


More accurately, the Blondie radio show and theatrical films starring Penny Singleton and Arthur Lake (Fun Fact: Singleton was the original voice of Jane Jetson).


So the show was basically Blondie in the future. Fair enough, but here’s the thing…


I thought Blondie was like watching paint dry as well! Who at HB thought that would be a good franchise to co-opt? You know your show is boring when even putting it in the Space Age can’t make it interesting.


Granted, The Flintstones wasn’t all that great either, but that show at least had some semi-interesting characters, the occasional kind-of funny joke and it had the whole fan service thing to fall back on, so if you like dinosaurs, dudes and chicks in skins and humorous acts of animal cruelty, you can watch for those things, even if you didn’t care about the stories.

How can you have a show set in the distant future without anything fun in it? Other shows and movies have done cool stuff with that setting:

Meet the Robinsons

We only got brief glimpses of the future society in Meet the Robinsons (in fact the book the movie was loosely based on, A Day with Wilbur Robinson, didn’t even involve the future or time travel), but what we saw of it, with its’ colorful architecture (including Insta-Buildings), transportation bubbles and flying time machines, was more interesting than anything we saw on The Jetsons.


See, that’s funny.


A lot of the things depicted on Futurama didn’t make sense (and the show’s writers have openly admitted that a lot of it didn’t make sense), but Futurama was still cool, fun and interesting.


Heck, even the late CBS Saturday morning cartoon Project G.eeK.eR. was more interesting than The Jetsons, and that show only lasted a single season. Project G.eeK.eR. gave us a really odd, wild, wacky and cool future setting with a dazzlingly quirky mix of human, alien, animal and robotic worlds: THAT show had a future city straight out of Blade Runner. It had artificially created super men with amazing powers. It had cyborgs. It had cool aliens. It had genetically modified humanoid dragon gangsters. It had mutated monsters. It had a space station. It had evolved talking dinosaurs who lived in a hidden dinosaur city (it turns out the dinos didn’t go extinct, they were merely hiding). It had a sentient super-intelligent strain of the common cold. It had a mad scientist mastodon voiced by Charlie Adler who floated around via an anti-gravity belt! Now THAT is interesting!


Even The Partridge Family: 2200 A.D. had a couple of alien characters with quirky shticks and the family’s dog was a robot, which was kind of interesting.

Speaking of, did you know that The Partridge Family: 2200 A.D. was originally going to be a Jetsons sequel series? T’is true. It was originally planned by HB as a follow-up to the original Jetsons series a la Pebbles & Bamm-Bamm, featuring Elroy as a teenager and Judy as an adult reporter, but when the idea was pitched to then CBS president Fred Silverman, he opted to swap out the Jestons for animated versions of the Partridge Family instead. Why?



Smiley bored 2

-Personally, I’m guessing Silvy found The Jetsons as boring as I do!



The Couch: The Universe of Colonel Bleep

Today the Couch takes a look at a forgotten cartoon ‘classic’ from the late 1950’s, Colonel Bleep.

No, that's not a swear. Clean up your minds.

No, that’s not a swear. Clean up your minds.

First, I’ve got to give a shout-out to Greg Sepelak and Trent Troop of The Isle of Rangoon. I had only heard or read things about this show before they started riffing it on their web series. If you haven’t been watching The Isle of Rangoon, start doing so immediately.

For those who don’t know, Colonel Bleep was the first color cartoon ever made for television. It was created by Robert D. Buchanan, and was filmed by Soundac of Miami. (Some sources have Joseph Barbera with a hand in its creation as well, although his contribution was short-lived before he rejoined William Hanna to form Hanna-Barbera.) The show was originally syndicated in 1957 as a segment on Uncle Bill’s TV Club. 104 episodes, of varying length of between three and six minutes each, were produced. Of these episodes, slightly fewer than half are known to survive today.

The show took place on the fictitious Zero Zero Island, where Earth’s equator meets the Greenwich Meridian. (Zero degrees latitude and zero degrees longitude, get it?)  There, Colonel Bleep, a futuristic extraterrestrial life form from the planet Futura, protected Earth with the help of his two deputies. Representing the present day was Squeek (a mute cowboy puppet boy), and representing the past was Scratch, a caveman of great physical strength who was awakened from a sleep of several thousand years by the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, also the same event that triggered Colonel Bleep’s travels to earth. Colonel Bleep, like other Futurans, could manipulate “futomic energy” in a variety of ways; for instance, to propel himself through space (inexplicably, on a unicycle), or as an offensive weapon. The amount of futomic energy Colonel Bleep could absorb at any given time was finite, and in several episodes he runs out of energy and becomes vulnerable.

The trio’s usual nemesis was a dark and mysterious hooded figure called Dr. Destructo, who could typically be found in his flying saucer with only a visible torso. Other regular villains included The Black Knight and Black Patch the space pirate.

“So how come all the bad guys gotta be black?!”

Here’s the first episode:

-Now I know it’s all too easy to simply write Colonel Bleep off as hilariously dated 50’s camp, and yes, it’s science is way off (Scratch being asleep for merely thousands of years and having a pet dinosaur–Bill Nye would have a field day with this show), but while as a modern-day sophisticate (burp!) I can pick the show apart for being unintentionally hilarious–especially with the gregariously over-the-top narrator who sounds like he’s on the verge of busting a vein or how they offer absolutely no explanation as to how or why Squeak is alive (must’ve been radiation, that’s how everything happened in the 50’s), I find some elements of Colonel Bleep to be kind of fun and cool. Believe it or not.

In fact, recently I was thinking what a 21st century update of this show would be like. So now it’s time for your favorite game and mine: FLIP THAT SCRIPT!

To start with, I love the idea of the show’s 3 protagonists representing the past, present (as of the 1950’s anyway) and future, and I’d definitely keep that idea, I’d just make a few tweaks to it here and there. For our future hero, I’d make this character a starry-eyed space girl from a future world.

She's literally starry-eyed!

She’s literally starry-eyed!

The Colonel could manipulate “futomic energy”. Let’s make that a little more toyetic and appealing and call it “space magic”, similar to what Cupcake wielded on Fonz and the Happy Days Gang, a show which Jason chronicled in an earlier Retro Bin.

Jason already covered this, but we never did get an explanation of how this 25th century future chick was able to perform rainbow-beamed magic.

Jason already covered this, but we never did get an explanation of how this 25th century future chick was able to perform rainbow-beamed magic.

“Evolution, baby.”

For the character representing us, Team Present Day, let’s face it: the cowboy puppet thing is a little too 50’s. Let’s make that character a spunky,fun-loving kid. Hello, youth market.

We'll also make her a girl since boy protagonists are a dime a dozen. She could be an orphan so she won't have parents in our time worrying about her zipping through time and space. maybe she and Future Girl could be related, like her extremely distant cousin from a few dozen generations or something.

We’ll also make her a girl since boy protagonists are a dime a dozen. She could be an orphan so she won’t have parents in our time worrying about her zipping through time and space. maybe she and Future Girl could be related, like her extremely distant cousin from a few dozen generations or something.

Finally, let’s cast our past character. How about a wild-acting cave kid with a little sister personality?


Maybe the others found her during a time travel adventure and decided they wanted a pet.

While we're at it, let's give the cave girl a pet dinosaur for comic relief and to sell a few million more toys. I like a mother-%$#@in' T-Rex. How about you?

While we’re at it, let’s give the cave girl a pet dinosaur for comic relief and to sell a few million more toys. I like a mother-%$#@in’ T-Rex. How about you?

Future Girl and her 2 T.D.B.F.F.s (Time Displaced Best Friends Forever) fly and zip and zoom across the cosmos (with FG using her magical super-highly evolved flying powers–no unicycle, that’s just dorky–while the other 2 hold her hand for dear life), encountering wacky extraterrestrials…


…Or just hanging out having cool fun in Futura, the World of Next Tuesday After Tomorrow.

Where the TVs broadcast in RHD (Ridiculously High Definition) and ice cream comes in 731 flavors--and counting.

Where the TVs broadcast in RHD (Ridiculously High Definition) and ice cream comes in 731 flavors–and counting.

Time for an apropos musical number. Kick it!

-The only thing I’d dial back on would be the battling evil robots and the like. Why?

“Fighting atomic robots is so 1957, man!”