Nerdvana: Driving With Toons

On this Nerdvana, we’ll be geeking out on some of my favorite modes of animated transportation. Those toyetic gas guzzlers that have been featured in cartoons that I’d like to drive myself in real life. Having said that…

“WE RIDE!!!”

Let’s start with one of my favorite vehicles from an anime; Speed Racer’s car, the Mach Five.

Go, Twinsanity, Go!

The Mach Five not only sports a stylish design, but it’s loaded to the teeth with specialized super spy type gadgets. I don’t know if those features are legal on the professional racing circuit, but they’d be cool to have.

Trivia Time: The “M” on the hood of the car doesn’t stand for Mach Five. Rather, it stands for “Mifune”. In Japan, Speed Racer’s name is Go Mifune (which is also why he wears a letter ‘G’ on his shirt). Mifune is not only the protagonist’s surname, but it’s also the name of his father’s motor company.

And of course there’s no way that I could have discussion about my favorite cartoon cars without mentioning The Wacky Races. Among my favorite Wacky Races car designs are the Convert-a-Car driven by Professor Pat Pending…

“My car is blinding you….with SCIENCE!”

The Convert-A-Car can be converted into an assortment of other vehicles, so it’s not only a racing car, it’s a transformer!

And I have to give props to the Crimson Haybailer, driven by The Red Max, because it’s flies!

“Come fly with me!”

Companies have been trying for decades to build the flying car, and this guy just up and does it.

Then there’s the car driven by Peter Perfect.

” Hee, hee, hee! Here comes the Perfect Man!”

First, I need to get this off of my chest: The name of Peter Perfect’s car is the Turbo Terrific!, Not the “Vroom Roadster”, as it was incorrectly referred to on a set of collectible drinking cups that were available at 7-11 many years ago! Way to out that you’ve never actually seen the show, guys! Now that that’s out of the way, I’ve liked the Turbo Terrific’s design, even if it does kind of look like an erect penis. The guy’s name is “Perfect”, after all.

“Huh-huh-huh! He said ‘erect’! Huh-huh-huh! Yeah! Heh-heh-heh! Heh-heh-heh-heh!”

Sorry, but I’ve thought that for years. Anyway, my favorite wacky races car design goes to the Mean Machine, driven by Dick Dastardly and Muttley.

“Eat dust, buster!”

The Mean Machine is not only purple (my favorite color), but it sports that freakin’ cool shark fin on the top. I don’t know why Dick felt the need to always cheat to win when his car had a rocket exhaust!

This one isn’t from a cartoon, but I have to give honorable mention to The Aquabats’ transport, the Battle Tram.

The Battle Tram not only looks cool, but it’s sports multiple rooms and is much bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Any vehicle that borrows technology from the TARDIS from Doctor Who is OK in my book.

Owning or driving any of these cars would make one the envy of the neighborhood.

Un, no. Nobody wants to be you, Turbo Teen.

Time now, I think, for some music to burn rubber by:

Well, there’s nothing else for me to say, except get out there and RIDE!

“Putt-putt-putt! Walking is for (putt-putt-putt) losers!”

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