Author goldstar

The All New Something, Something Whatever Show

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Following from Damon’s entry on Warner Brothers’ latest revamped Tom & Jerry animated series, I got to thinking about what other former Hanna Barbera franchises could WB bring back from the abyss, if they cared enough about any H-B properties besides T&J and Scooby Doo, that is.

A new take on Hong Kong Phooey might be entertaining. I read a few years ago that there are or were plans to make a HKP live action movie, but that news was at least 2 years ago, and I’ve since heard no follow up to it. The movie would likely have Penry Pooch (Hong Kong) as a “real” dog who somehow becomes anthropomorphic and gains mad Kung-Fu skills. I know that after the major bomb-a-saurus that was the Underdog movie, a lot of people would (understandably) not like this idea, but at least that would make a tad more sense than Phooey being the only anthro in a world full of humans and yet no one was smart enough to make the connection that Penry and Phooey were one and the same!

Someone suggested that WB revive The Jetsons, but frankly, the idea of a new Jetsons series wouldn’t excite me. As much as I like the idea of a Utopian future as a setting, I find the characters themselves to be rather dull and generic. The Jetsons was basically the Blondie movies set in the future, and the series as a whole might have been better if it had made better use of it’s fantastic setting. Compare to the far better Futurama.

When talking about potentially reviving old H-B properties, I guess I’d pretty much have to mention the grand daddy of them all, The Flintstones. Now, The Flintstones celebrated it’s 50th anniversary last year, and  Cartoon Network did nothing to commemorate the occasion. All that happened was a 24 hour Flintstones marathon on Boomerang and Post released a specially made Pebbles cereal, Cupcake Pebbles, and a single commercial advertising the product, with no mention of the occasion that sparked it.

Now, my initial thought was “This is wrong. Warner Brothers and Turner should do something to commorate The Flintstones‘ 50th anniversary besides just this. Why not make a new series or at least some new animated shorts (Seth MacFarlane was going to produce a remake of The Flintstones that was to air on FOX in 2013, but Seth already has too much on his plate and so production on this reboot series is on hiatus until ???)?” But then I thought :What could do they do?” What could WB and Cartoon Network studios possibly do with the The Flintstones that hasn’t already been done? It seems like the series has been around longer than Europe, and in at least the 42 years and 5 months that I’ve been alive, we’ve already seen the Flintstones and the Rubbles become parents. We’ve seen the Flintstones contend with not 1, but 2 sets of monster neighbors (first the Gruesomes and then later the Frankenstones). We’ve seen Fred and Barney meet up with a magical alien with the voice of Harvey Korman. We’ve seen Fred do the James Bond spy shtick in a theatrical film. We’ve seen the families travel to the Old West on numerous occasions. We’ve seen Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm as teenagers (who not only got together, but were in a band at one point). We’ve seen Fred and Barney as cops. We’ve seen Wilma and Betty doing double Lois Lane duty opposite Captain Caveman. We’ve seen Dino doing the Tom & Jerry thing with an obnoxious cave mouse. We’ve seen Fred, Wima, Barney and Betty as preteen kids. We’ve seen Pebbles, Bamm-Bamm and Dino solving mysteries a la Scooby Doo, and through made-for-TV movies, we’ve seen Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm get married and then subsequently move to Hollyrock and become the parents of fraternal twins. About the only Flintstones related things that we haven’t yet seen are Fred, Wilma, Barney and Betty as unmarried twentysomethings or the Flintstones and the Rubbles as grandparents, and I personally have zero desire to see either of those things.

But, it’s not as though the Flintstones’ characters have been completely forgotten. Recently, there have been a new revamped set of Post Pebbles cereal commercials which feature the characters rendered in a new animation style (stop motion puppettoons) and after 3 decades, they’e finally moved on from the “Watch me trick Fred out of his Pebbles!” shtick. These new ads aren’t the worst thing that I’ve ever seen. The different animation style is interesting and the guys doing Fred and Barney’s voices at least sound enough like the oriignals for it to not be an issue. The main thing that I find somewhat odd about these current commercials is how unbelievably calm and laid back Fred is in them. At no point does Fred look even remotely as if he’s about to lose his temper. I guess that he’s mellowed with age.

Talkin’ Nerdy: Robot Chicken Dungeons & Dragons Sketch Gets an F

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I’m sure that most of us here are already familiar with the Adult Swim stop motion animated sketch comedy series Robot Chicken, created by Seth Green and Matt Senriech (sorry if misspelled your last name, Matt), so I wont go into that.  Anyway, RC has done numerous parodies of popular toys, games and TV shows, primarily from the 1970s through the early 00s, so for a while, I was wondering when is RC going to do a parody of Dungeons & Dragons, the Marvel produced Saturday morning cartoon that was loosely based on the popular card game which ran on CBS from 1983 to 1985? I used to watch the D&D cartoon every week. I even have the DVD of the entire series. There were a lot of elements and tropes about the D&D cartoon which were ripe for parody. Well, in Robot Chicken’s 5th season, we finally get a D&D parody sketch and we get…this:


One word: Lame.

Seriously, Robot Chicken? You guys had the Smurfs engaging in an all out battle to the death with Snorks. You had Archie and the gang reenacting the movie Final Destination. You had the cast of Fraggle Rock in a parody of Watership Down You had the Keebler elves fighting off a rampaging Cookie Monster, and that’s really the best that you could come up for a Dungeons & Dragons parody?

Allow me to break down the reasons why this D&D sketch fails:

First, anyone who has seen the show knows that there were 6 kids who transported from our world into the Dungeons & Dragons realm courtesy of the D&D ride at the amusement park, and yet there are only 3 kids shown in the sketch (Hank, Diana and Eric). So what happened to Sheila, Presto and Bobby? If they weren’t going to be there, there should have been a reason provided as to why they weren’t there.

Second, the kids in the sketch barely resembled the cartoon characters that they were supposed to represent. Now, I wasn’t expecting Willie Aames to come back to reprise his role as Hank (although it would have been great if he had), but the guy who’s supposed to be Hank looked nothing like the Hank on the cartoon. They just took the Matt Tracker figure from their earlier MASK sketch and dressed it in an outfit that kinda sorta resembled the one that Hank wore, even though Hank’s Ranger outfit was green, not brown. And also, Hank had medium length rock-star hair, not short hair. Did these guys even see the show?

Third, no lines for Eric. After having seen how brilliantly Reggie Mantle was handled in the aforementioned Archie sketch, I couldn’t wait to see how RC was going to depict the spoiled, sardonic, complaining Eric, but he doesn’t get a single line of dialogue to utter here! Talk about dropping the ball.

Fourth, out of all the tropes and running bits on the show that RC could have made fun of, all we get is a lame  bit about Venger only having 1 horn on his helmet? That’s been joked about in the actual show. They could have parodied how Dungeon Master was always sending the kids off on dangerous missions and also have him sending them to perform demeaning tasks that he himself doesn’t to be bothered with on the promise the he’ll send them home once they’ve completed their tasks (which could include buying DM’s groceries or taking his car to the shop), only to discover that DM could send the kids back home anytime that he wants to and just like having them do stuff for him, and upon finding out the truth, the kids proceed to beat the snot of Dungeon Master. And that was just something that I pulled out of my pants a couple of days ago!

Finally, the sketch ends with a cut to a caption which reads “Venger never found his horn”. Not funny. RC have ended a few of their sketches this way, but it fails to amuse each time it’s been done.

Bottom line: If you know very little about the show, don’t bother trying to spoof it (and this also goes for RC’s painfully unfunny documentary skit about the 90s cartoons).

Robot Chicken is a mixed bag overall. The show is funny when the team has a good concept, but when the show misses the mark, it really misses the mark. I’ve been waiting since the show began to see Seth, Matt and the team write a parody of another CBS Saturday morning cartoon, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, when of if that ever happens, I really hope that they’ll actually put some effort into it and we’ll get a better result than what we got with this parody of D&D.

Oh, Mickey, Where Art Thou?

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Recently, I read a post on the Toon Zone forums about members requesting what shows they would like to see airing on Hasbro’s fledgling cable/satellite channel The Hub (which debuted on 10-10-10 and as of this writing is 1 year and 4 months old). In this aforementioned thread, one member, a self-described “Classic television fan” requested that The Hub should air old-school Disney cartoons such Ducktales, Chip ‘n’ Dale’s Rescue Rangers, TaleSpin and even the classic Disney shorts starring Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Pluto and company with the reasoning that “Disney Channel isn’t airing them anymore, so why not bring them to The Hub?”.

I’ve read similar posts like this before with fans wanting Disney cartoons and Nicktoons to air on Boomerang and similar requests. Now, I think at this point that it’s obvious that you’re never, never, NEVER (and did I mention never?) going to see Disney cartoons on The Hub, and it should be equally obvious why this will never happen. Disney and Viacom are notoriously stingy when it comes to loaning out their properties; they don’t play ‘sharsies’. Exactly how would Disney benefit from loaning out shows featuring it’s trademark characters to a competing network so the competitor can make money off of them? And how would Hasbro benefit from their channel becoming a vessel for the competition? A “Disney Too” channel, if you will? Answer: They wouldn’t. Not in the least. Yeah, I know that The Hub has aired Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, which is a  Disney movie, and  I know that The Hub has aired Muppet movies, and the Muppets are also currently owned by Disney, but here’s the thing: Cartoon Network has also aired less celebrated Disney movies such as Operation Dumbo Drop and Angels in the Outfield. Movies and TV shows that aren’t directly associated with the Mouse House are OK, but anything with Mickey, Goofy, Minnie, Donald, Buzz, Woody, Belle, Ariel or any other characters that are synonymous with Disney, forget about it! That would be like promoting the competition. Disney would sooner sit on those cartoons than let one of it’s rivals get rich off of them. Sure, from a fan’s perspective, that would be great, but from a business perspective, that wouldn’t be a smart move. At all. Mickey’s head doubles as the studio’s trademark. Disney loaning out it’s trademark characters to The Hub would make as much sense as KFC letting Popeye’s have it’s secret recipe.

In response to others’ statements regarding this, the Fan goes on to type:

I think Disney should let them go and air elsewhere as opposed to them just sitting around collecting dust and not getting any air exposure. From a viewer standpiont, I could care less where they air as long as they air SOMEWHERE. I want to see them.

Ignoring the fact that saying “I could care less” is incorrect. The expression is “I couldn’t care less”, as in “I couldn’t possibly care any less than I do now”. Saying “I could care less” implies that you could care more, It’s the general attitude conveyed in the above statement that annoys me. First, this goes back to what I covered earlier; Disney wouldn’t benefit financially in the slightest by “letting their cartoons go and air elsewhere” as in on a channel that’s owned by one of their competitors, so doing so would be just plain stupid. Second, In my time on message boards, I’ve read this rhetoric several times. This attitude from so-called “fans” that they’re dissatisfied that their favorite shows aren’t airing on their favorite channels anymore, but they’re not so dissatisfied that they’d be willing to get up off of their duffs and actually do something about it. Yes, it is too bad that we can’t see Disney theatrical shorts on the Disney Channel anymore. I agree with that, but it’s not like Disney has completely washed it’s collective hands of the “classics”. There are DVDs currently available of the classic Disney shorts, as well as some of the Disney Afternoon shows. If you really want to see them again, buy the DVDs. Look for them on legal streaming sites such as iTunes or Amazon.com. Look for them on YouTube. That’s a much more reasonable course of action than just sitting on the couch waiting for the networks to come around to your way of thinking.

I understand fans wanting to complain about their favorite shows not airing on “their” channels anymore, but what I don’t understand are these “TV or nothing” fans or this bizarre sense of entitlement that many (not all of them, mind you, but some) seem to carry around with them like spoiled children, as if the networks owe them something. The networks don’t owe you these shows any more than they owe you an explanation as to why they’re not airing them anymore. Entertainment is a business, just like any other, and in order for a network to stay in business, it must keep moving forward. Networks don’t program for individuals, and they can’t endlessly loop their shows from 1 era for all eternity just because a small group of fans refuse to let go of the past. Your wanting to see the Disney shows isn’t Hasbro’s concern, and The Hub is no more obligated to provide you with old Disney cartoons than The Disney Channel is.

Anyway, you’re not at the mercy of TV. There are other resources out there. You just have to look for them. And to the people who reply with “Not everybody has a job and can buy DVDs”, My response to this is: Irrelevant. Alcoholics will do whatever they have to do in order to get a drink. Junkies will do whatever they have to do in order to get their fix. You just need to think of your favorite shows as your personal drink or drug. If you want them bad enough, you’ll do whatever you need to do in order to enjoy them, and if you’re not willing to do that, then it obviously doesn’t mean that much to you, so there’s no point in complaining about it. These people always seem to be the ones making the most noise about how dissatisfied they are, but at the same time, they don’t want to do anything that requires any sort of effort on their part. If you’re not willing to leave your “comfort zone” or compromise even a little to get what you want, then don’t go around calling yourselves “fans”, because a true fan would do whatever he or she needed to do in order to get their TV goodness, and if you’re not willing to muster any of your cash to buy DVDs or get up out of your chair to search the internet, then you obviously don’t want it bad enough, which makes you only a fair-weather fan, and as we know, close only counts in horseshoes.


The Disney Toons Show (an idea)

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This morning, I was lurking on the Toon Zone forums. Someone at the Disney Animation forum suggested that Disney studios produce an animated series which would be the Mouse House’s equivalent to Warner Brothers’ The Looney Tunes Show on Cartoon Network centering on Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse. After thinking about this suggestion this afternoon, I think that such an idea could work for Disney, if it were handled properly. This would help the Mouse House because a) The Disney Channel would have another successful animated series besides Phineas & Ferb, and b) this series could be aimed at a more general audience (kids, teens and adults alike) could prove that the Disney shorts characters (aka Mickey and the gang) have broader appeal and are capable of doing more than just entertaining preschoolers. Also, I like the idea of there being a single city/town/area in which nearly every Disney franchise would reside (with the obvious exception of the Pixar movies, of course). Not unlike Marvel’s The Super Hero Squad Show. Basically, this series would take the Disney’s House of Mouse concept a step further by showing what the Disney gang does when they’re not performing at the club. I know that I’m in the minority here, but I actually like the idea of all the Looney Tunes characters residing in a single neighborhood. I’m calling this series idea Disney’s Toontown. This is more of a broad outline than an actual idea, but nonetheless, here the skinny:

The series’ main setting would be the Cartoon Suburbs, a suburban cul-de-sac in which the shows’ principal characters, Mickey & Minnie would share a residence (as newlyweds, perhaps-Originally, I was going to have Mickey, Donald and Goofy as roommates, but I figured that fans would want to see Huey, Dewey & Louie and Max Goof on the show and I didn’t want all of those characters living together under 1 roof, as that would make for 1 overpopulated house, so I instead went with this idea. Plus, having Minnie as a main character might attract more female viewers). Pluto would be the Mickster’s loyal pet, no mystery there. M&M’s neighbors would be other characters from the Disney barnyard shorts; Donald Duck and his 3 nephews would have a house. Goofy and his son Max would have a house. Horace Horsecollar, Clarabelle Cow and even Pete would be their neighbors.

Right beyond the Cartoon Suburbs would be the main metropolis. Let’s call it Big City. Big City would be a cross between Duckburg (the setting of Ducktales) and St. Canard (Darkwing Duck). Characters such as Scrooge McDuck, Launchpad McQuack, Drake Mallard/Darkwing Duck and Bonkers D. Bobcat would reside here.

Beyond Big City would be several specialized lands for the other Disney characters: a Fairy Tale Land where the characters from the Disney fairy tales (such as the Disney Princesses) would reside. An undersea kingdom where the characters from Disney’s The Little Mermaid would reside. A Jungle Land where characters from Disney’s The Jungle Book and The Lion King would reside, etc. there would also be an area called the Toon Underground, a seedy underbelly located within the bowels of Big City where the Disney villains would hang out.

Now, I’m not saying that this is the best way to introduce the Disney characters to a new more modern audience, nor is this the only way to do so, but it is a way. All things considered, I’d say that this is pretty good for something that I just pulled out of my pants this afternoon. If Disney made a show like this, I’d watch it.

What’s In a Name?

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Hey, guys and gals. This is the artist formerly known as Blackstar here. Just thought I’d give everyone a quick heads up on some very minor news:

Starting today, I’ve changed my username from Blackstar to Goldstar, so if you read any posts here at Astral City with the name Goldstar attached, you’ll know that it’s me. This is a move which I had planned to make back on Toon Zone, had I stayed there. Why the change? Well, it’s mainly that after some bad experiences that I’ve had with certain individuals at TZ, the username Blackstar has since become associated with unpleasantness and disdain, and I’d like to make a fresh start. I’m not that guy anymore, so I’ve decided to bury that username and all of the negativity that had become attached to it. Also, I just plain like the way that Goldstar sounds; The DC comics character Booster Gold was originally going to call himself ‘Goldstar’, but his high school nickname “Booster” stuck in everyone’s mind.

Anyway, I’ll be going by the name Goldstar from now on. Goldstar isn’t someone else; it’s still me, but with a different username. Thanks for reading.