One of the funnier recurring segments on the late Fuel TV sketch comedy series Stupidface was a cartoon from Mike Hollingsworth called Low Tide, detailing the simple adventures, rendered in a very simplistic art style (the characters and backgrounds looked like notebook doodles come to life), of a trio slacker sea life buddies: Brian, an upbeat starfish, Friz, a somewhat snarky jellyfish (in reality, jellyfish are a collective species with no eyes, hearts or brains, but we’re going by cartoon rules here) and Herman, a slow-witted whale. Think SpongeBob Squarepants for slackers. On today’s 2 Funny, the guys head for the underwater arcade so Friz and Brain can square off on Dance Dance Hero and Guitar Revolution (nobody’s getting sued here). Here’s “Dance Guitar Dance”.
On Stupidface‘s second season, Hollingsworth made another series of animated shorts called Nature Break, which featured more intricate animation, but were more random and not as funny; Low Tide was definitely better.
Today’s Player Two Start looks at Marvel VS Capcom.
LET’S GO CRAZY!
For those who don’t know, Marvel VS Capcom: Clash of Super Heroes is a crossover fighting game developed and published by Capcom. It is the third installment in the Marvel vs. Capcom series, which features characters from Capcom’s video game franchises and comic book series published by Marvel Comics. The game debuted in Japanese arcades in January 1998. It was ported to the Dreamcast and PlayStation, which were released from 1999 through 2000. The game was re-released in 2012 for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 as part of the Marvel vs. Capcom Origins collection.
Players select a team of characters from the Marvel and Capcom universes to engage in combat and attempt to knock out their opponents. In contrast to the series’ previous entry, Marvel Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter, the game features characters from numerous Capcom video game franchises, rather than strictly Street Fighter characters. While the gameplay is largely identical to its predecessor, Clash of Super Heroes features two distinct changes: the removal of the traditional character assist system and the introduction of the “Variable Cross” attack.
The selectable Capcom characters were Ryu (with the ability to switch to ‘Ken Mode’ and ‘Akuma Mode’ to make up for those characters not being chosen for the game…)
It DIDN’T make up for it!”
…Chun-Li, Captain Commando, Strider Hiryu, Rockman/Mega Man (freakin’ MEGA MAN! This was back when Marvel still gave a crap about Rockman), Jin Saotome, Morrigan and Zangief, while on the Marvel side we had Captain America, Spider-Man, Hulk, Wolverine, Gambit, Venom and War Machine. There were also a bevvy of Strikers who could be chosen to run across the screen lending a hand temporarily, including Thor, Juggernaut, Jubilee, Psylocke, Arthur (from Ghouls ‘n’ Ghosts), Michelle Heart (from Legendary Wings), Devilot & Dr. Stein, Pure & Fur and others, making for a total of 52 characters in all. The final boss of the game was Onslaught, who was the combined negative energy of Prof. and Magneto or a manifestation of their combined ids or the result of a bad plate of ribs they ate or something; it tied into some multi-issue event Marvel was doing at the time, comics are weird.
Intro time:
Now that we’ve gone sufficiently crazy, the Versus games sported too many characters for each one to have their own specific stage, so they typically just had a finite set of interesting ones. MvC in particular had 9 stages in all (10 counting the Final Boss stage), each of them unique in their own way. Today Videots takes a look at each of them. NOTE: These won’t be in any particular order, so I won’t be numbering them.
NEO ST. PETERSBURG
This is Strider Hiryu’s home stage, taking place in the first stage from his first game, St. Petersburg.
The stage is set in the red platforms from the initial area, overlooking the capital city and their various mosque buildings while several searchlights waves around in the background, much like in the original game. Original for this game is the inclusion of a zeppelin floating up in the center of the stage, bearing the Kazakh Federation’s half-star symbol, which is also present in three buildings.
Two laser signs can be seen at times in the sky: the first writes “Казахскар CCP” a misspelling of “Казахская CCP” (Russian for “Kazakh SSR”), while the second writes intermittently “A.D. 2048” and “Санкций” (Russian for “sanctions”). The first two are direct references to the intro scroll that opens up the Arcade’s first stage, while the third word is original for this game. The Third Moon can also be spotted high up in the sky, in front of the real moon.
“In Neo St. Petersburg, ninja throwing stars impale YOU!”
LIVE HOUSE OF THE DARK REALM
It’s creepy and it’s kooky, mysterious and spooky…
The stage takes place inside a worn-out live house, with the zombie Lord Raptor (aka Zabel Zarock) playing guitar on the stage while two punk skeletons are headbanging to his music and two skulls in the table are opening and closing their mouths while watching. (Also I just now noticed that freaky neon face above the door. Eeeehhh…) In the last round, ghosts approach the defeated fighter. This is considered Morrigan’s home stage. Morrigan’s and Gambit’s endings take place in this stage. (I know Gambit’s been known to hang out in some seedy dives, but I’ve never figured he’d be the type to rock out with spooks. Well, he is from Voodoo country, after all.)
“Hey, you reek of blood and defeat. Tasty! Feeding time, boys!”
ROOFTOP OF THE DAILY BUGLE
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, fights wherever a spider can…
This stage takes place in New York City, between the rooftops of the Daily Bugle (with the first three letters from its name visible) and a neighbor building, webs connecting the two to avoid the fighters from falling. The background has several buildings, the most notable being the Baxter Building. This is considered the home stage of Spider-Man and Venom. My favorite part of this stage is the Baxter Building/Four Freedoms Plaza, the HQ of the Fantastic Four, in the background.
“Greetings. Reed Richards, aka Mr. Fantastic here. I just wanted to pop in here and mention to any prospective filmmakers out there that my team, the Fantastic Four, is still available should anyone be interested in making a Hollywood blockbuster movie about us, just as long as 20th Century Fox stays as far away from it as humanly possible!”
AVENGERS HEADQUARTERS
Some Assembling Required
This stage takes place inside the Avengers Mansion, with the Avengers Support Crew monitoring several screens. Psylocke, Magneto, Storm and Wolverine appear in some of the screens. (All X-Men, as it happens.)
“I’m keeping an eye on those super-freaks! Oooooh, I hate mutants! I hate all metahumans!”
“We super-freaks aren’t crazy about you either!”
In Captain Commando’s ending, an Avengers Crew contacts the Avengers to tell them that Onslaught was defeated. Captain Commando appears in the screen and says that he and his team took care of him. Similar to the ending from his game, the Avengers Crew asks who he is, and he says “I am Captain Commando”.
In Captain America’s ending, he is in the HQ with the Capcom characters and explains that Onslaught was the embodiment of the dark emotions of Professor X and Magneto, and his conscience summoned heroes to stop him. With Onslaught’s demise, the Capcom heroes return to their world and Captain America salutes them.
“SAAAA-LUTE!”
DR. WILY’S MILITARY BASE
This stage takes place inside one of Dr. Wily’s many secret bases, with the mad, mad, mad scientist walking around and angrily yelling to the fighters with a megaphone. In the background there is a Metall Potton with several Mettaurs, giant Killer Bullets, Baccones, Mad Grinder, and Dark Man 1 moving back and forth carrying a damaged sack. This is considered the home stage of Mega Man and Roll. Speaking of Megs, one little touch I always liked is when Mega Man delivers the final blow, you’ll hear the signature “You Got a New Weapon” tune from his games instead of the usual Victory music.
“Geez, how many of of this guy’s robot masters do I have to take out before this nut-cake gets the point? Shade Man? Wood Man? Search Man? Clown Man? I think Wily’s running out of ideas at this point!”
“Seriously bro, when are you gonna let me borrow your Mega Buster? For once I’d like to clean house figuratively instead of literally! I’ve gotta talk to Dr. Light about an upgrade!”
BLUE AREA OF THE MOON
This stage takes place in the Blue Area of the Moon, an artificial, Earth-like environment in the Moon containing the ruins of the Inhuman city of Attilan and the citadel of Uatu the Watcher. The background contains some alien ruins and an old American flag. The blue planet Earth is visible far away. Ryu’s ending takes place in this stage, where he starts training Sean.
Hey, Dark Side of the Moon. You knew someone was going to say it!
HEADQUARTERS OF EVIL
Boo! Hiss!
This stage takes place in the headquarters of an unknown evil group. In the background, the Forgotten Worlds bosses Whodin and Laidin are holding an Earth and a Moon, and in the top center in a gigantic version of the evil god Bios.
The stage also has many other unknown characters that were apparently created for this game.
Chun-Li’s ending takes place in this stage, where she tries to face M. Bison but is defeated by him, and he plans to make her a member of Shadaloo (This stage presumably having links with the organization). Fortunately, Shadow appears and saves her.
“Say, I like that design. I’m going to start holding our Legion of Doom meetings via Skype from now on. Solomon Grundy’s got a weird odor, and when Gorilla Grodd isn’t crossing his legs, I can see his junk!”
THE CLIFF OF DESOLATION
This stage takes place in a cliff at an unknown location. As the rounds pass, the stage changes from day to sunset and to night with lightning.
This stage takes place in E. Honda’s bathhouse in Japan, his stage from Street Fighter II. This stage has 2 parts: the guy’s bathhouse, which you see here, and if you scroll to the right and manage to break the wall…
…You get to see inside the ladies’ bathhouse. Rowr-rowr!
*Give yourself bonus geek stars if you noticed Norimaro (from Marvel Super Heroes VS Street Fighter) and Sakura in the ladies’ bath.
“Don’t give me that look! The bathhouse is a respected piece of my country’s culture! We don’t just use it as an excuse to get naked and ogle hot bods…well, not entirely.”
So there you have it. My little tribute to Marvel VS Capcom‘s stages.
I’m going to try something a little different today. This is the first installment of a new mini-series type of segment that I’ve been working on. Inspired by DiGi Valentine’s Who Dat?, I wanted to make a series of entries spotlighting some of my favorite animated characters. You may be thinking, “Don’t you already do that with Why (Blank) is Awesome!?” This segment will differ from W_IA! in 2 distinct ways: First, unlike W_IA!, I’ll be giving more detailed descriptions of the characters profiled and why I like them, as opposed to just making a short list; I’ll be tackling the big questions like why can’t Snake Eyes of G.I. Joe talk?
We asked him, but he wouldn’t say.
Second, unlike W_IA!, which can spotlight any character from any show, studio or franchise and whose assemblage is random for the most part, in this segment I’ll be spotlighting a finite list of my favorite characters from one particular show, franchise or studio. I’m calling this mini-series Pop Dream; the name has that laid-back, easy-breezy, sparkly vibe to it, but with a sense of fun. As the name implies (to me, anyway), the shows and franchises spotlighted on Pop Dream will be either a) comedic, b) toyetic or c) both. No drama or action shows will be featured here. Comedy/adventure hybrids are permissible, but I’d only focus on the comedy aspects of said show, not the action elements.
Here’s how this will work: I’ll be profiling my favorite characters from a specific show (NOTE: I won’t be doing every character from that show, just my favorite ones, so no need to flood the comments with “You didn’t do So-and-So” or “You forgot Such-and-Such”. If I skip a particular character, then that character lacks that extra something which puts characters on my top tier list), in the following categories:
Overview
Appearance
Personality
Funnier Moments
Conclusion
All mixed in with our usual jokes, quips and nonsense of course. Also, no, this won’t be all that I’ll be doing here or all that you’ll be reading here for a while; since this is a finite list, I won’t be doing every Pop Dream installment in a row; the Ad Nausea, Beyond the Background, Cartoon Country segments and the like will still continue as always, and the Pop Dreams will just run alongside of them. I’ll do a Pop Dream, then take a break and work on one of the other ongoing segments while working on the next Pop Dream until it’s ready, then that’ll be presented, and so on in that fashion, until they’re all done. If this set is successful, then I may be spotlighting another set of characters sometime in the future.
The set of characters which I’ll be focusing on for this Pop Dream are: Barbie and her Fab Sisters.
We’ll be starting at the top of the Roberts totem pole and profiling Barbie first, then each sister in descending order. Some ground rules: One, the Barbie franchise has had multiple continuities over the years, so to keep things simple, I will only be focusing on the versions of the characters depicted in the web series Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse (one of my guilty pleasures) and to a lesser extent, the Barbie and her Sisters videos, so these profiles will be more or less a mash-up of those. I will not be delving into any of the Barbie role play videos (Starlight Adventure, Three Musketeers, Princess & the Pop Star, etc.); there’s too many of them to try and comb through and none of those are canon anyway. Two, I won’t reviewing any of these episodes/videos; I’ll only be referencing certain episodes as they pertain to the character(s) being spotlighted. Otherwise, these would be the length of War and Peace.
Phew! Now that we’ve established what Pop Dream is, on to the Pop Dreaming!
She’s the Queen of Malibu (and was once its’ Mayor), she’s had over 137 careers (and counting), she’s been to the moon, is an ambassador to a space alien culture, drives a cool car and if she were an ice cream flavor, she’d be pink. Our first Pop Dream is all about…Barbie Roberts.
“Get your sparkle on!” – an actual quote.
OVERVIEW
Barbara Millicent “Barbie” Roberts is pretty, perky, peppy, popular and practically perfect (that’s a lot of p’s) young adult fashion doll. How old is she? Who can say? In “Gifts, Goofs, Galore”, even her friends aren’t sure of Barbie’s age. She’s run for President, and you have to be at least 35 to do that, and one of her friends, Midge, seems to have been lifted straight from the late 1950’s….so…..
…You know, she looks to be about 18 or 20 years of age, so let’s just say she’s a young adult, and leave it at that.
“Wibbly-wobbly, Timey-wimey!”
Born in humble Willows, Wisconsin, Barbie currently resides in THE most palatial doll house in the world, simply known as the Dreamhouse.
The address is 1959 Malibu Way. get it?
Said Dreamhouse, in addition to being very pink, is almost as much a character as the people who inhabit it, being fully state-of-the-art and automated with the latest technology, boasting a convertible disco room, a Labyrintian closet which people have been known to get lost in, a chocolate fountain in the foyer and full of multiple rooms and areas many of which its’ residents are still discovering. Barbie is a full-blown celebrity, for doing seemingly nothing except being attractive.
Not like real life, right?
A typical day for Barbie involves her hobnobbing with A-List stars, negotiations with diplomats and world leaders and advising NASA, as well as the important things, like coasting through Malibu in her awesome car, hanging with her attractive friends, who literally compete with one another for the coveted title of Barbie’s B.F.F.; obsessing over the color pink and lots of shopping. Barbie shares the Dreamhouse with her 3 younger sisters Skipper, Stacie and Chelsea and their pets Blissa the cat, Taffy the dog and Tawny the palomino horse. Nobody’s sure of the whereabouts of the Roberts’ parents, George and Martha. Maybe they’re on their fifth honeymoon or off buying His and Hers islands in the tropics, who can say?
“They’re probably just sequestered in their vault counting their mad money. The last time we did that, we were gone for weeks!”
APPEARANCE
Barbie has herself become an archetype: she’s your basic Malibu Barbie blond hottie. She’s always dressed to the nines….
…Even while just lounging around the house.
In this instance, on the horn with Viacom lobbying for a Hair Channel.
It would be impossible to try and list all of Barbie’s various outfits she’s worn throughout her numerous appearances, but they’re all basically…
…FABULOUS!
PERSONALITY
Let’s face it — Barbie is the doll who has it all. She’s a fashion icon who has a fab home, the best friends and the perfect guy who’s nuts about her. She’s great at everything, while remaining humble and kind, and is always there to cheer on her friends no matter the challenges. That’s why everyone loves her. She’s like that popular girl in school who’s head cheerleader, dating the quarterback, is homecoming queen and on the honor roll, drives a cool car, her family’s clearly not hurting for money, every guy loves her, every girl wants to be her. You want to hate her for having such a cake life, but you can’t because she’s also super-nice.
As the oldest sister, Barbie seems to be the prime mover among the Fab Sisters. (It also doesn’t hurt that she’s got all the vehicles, accessories and hookups and is the only licensed driver among them.)
Whether it’s making over the house for the umptee-seventh time, weathering a crisis (like running out of chocolate croissants) or anchoring great adventures involving puppies…
…Barbie’s usually the one at the helm, that is when she isn’t hanging with her boyfriend Ken Carson.
Of course Barbie has a boyfriend. A chick like her was born with a boyfriend!
FUNNIER MOMENTS
“Doctor Barbie”: Barbie breaks off negotiations between rival world leaders to tend to her sister Chelsea’s plastic pox.
She then pauses to reveal that (among dozens of other careers) that she’s a doctor, but only after Skipper nearly misses her cue to ask, “Aren’t YOU a doctor??”
“Cringing in the Rain”: Barbie reveals that she loves to walk in the rain, and sometimes does so with The Prince of England, mumbling under her breath that the prince is a bit of an umbrella hog.
“Look! The sky is leaking!”
“Rhapsody in Buttercream”: Barbie recalls the time Stacie and Chelsea “assisted” her in the kitchen on Spaghetti Night.
“Mission Impawsible”: While on a date with Ken, Barbie devours a giant hot dog bigger than her head, in one gulp (off-screen of course). How she manages to eat like that and stay thin, now that’s a talent.
“Sisters Ahoy”: Barbie, paired with the hyperactive Stacie for the beach scavenger hunt, asks how they’re going to get out to the coral reef to obtain a oyster’s pearl, and then we cut to Stacie driving a jet ski, dragging Barbie along in the back on a small inner tube, clinging on for dear life.
This gag is repeated at the end of the episode, with the same jet ski being the girls’ 2nd place prize. Again, Barbie gets the worst of it. This particular gag stands out to me, since it’s rare when a character like Barbie slips on the banana peel.
CONCLUSION
Barbie is like Mario in Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, in that while she arguably may not be the best character, you have to deal with her. Similarly, Barbie’s not my favorite Barbie sister (I don’t hate the character or even dislike her, I just like the others more), but there wouldn’t be a franchise without her. Given that part of her character is how she’s pretty and popular, seemingly infinitely rich and has got it goin’ on, it would be too, too easy to portray her as cocky, show-offish and full of herself…
“GOLD PLATED DAWG!”
…Her general niceness, upbeat attitude and helpfulness keeps her from being unlikable, even though she basically lives in a bubble. A pink bubble with lots of unicorns and glitter.
It’s also worth mentioning that, like Zaphod Beeblebrox in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, she inhabits an artificial (mostly plastic) universe which was designed specifically for her to inhabit; she is therefore the most important person in said universe, as evidenced by a constellation in the sky in “Ooh, How Campy Too” which is shaped like Barbie’s logo. It truly is a Barbie world, the others just live in it.
And because I know you’re all expecting it, here it is:
I first heard this one on Kids’ WB!, on Animaniacs‘ famous (or infamous, depending on your point of view) all musical episode. I wasn’t wild about a show featuring nothing but songs, as I’m generally not a fan of musicals and most of them didn’t gel with me, but I liked this particular one. I’m always up for a good nautical boat song, and anything that spotlights Yakko is always welcome. Here’s “Panama Canal”.
By now, we all know the story: Kids’ WB! wanted their own prime-time animated hit a la The Simpsons, and for some bizarre reason they got the notion that Pinky & the Brain could be their Simpsons, so they gave the Animaniacs spinoff a less-than-spectacular run on prime time. When that didn’t hatch ratings gold, they began tooling with the show’s premise, to expand on P&B’s universe and show them doing other things besides just trying and failing to take over the world (in other words, try to make the show a clone of The Simpsons). Their brilliant idea was to stick the titular duo with one of THE most annoying characters in popular culture, Elmyra from Tiny Toon Adventures (whom my brother Jason once referred to as “the Tom Green of cartoon characters”). The result: The colossally unfunny Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain.
Oh, the stupidity!
Yes, I’ve see this show, and no, it wasn’t good. At all. But I’ll tell you something that you may not believe, especially coming from me: Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain actually could have worked!
“Whatchu talkin’ bout, Silverstar?”
Hear me out. While PE&B was evey bit as lackluster as you’ve heard, the idea of transplanting Pinky & Brain from Acme Labs to suburbia and having them adopted by a kid was not a bad one; it just could’ve used some tweaking and rethinking. PE&B was like CN Real in that respect, in that the idea of the block itself wasn’t bad, but the shows they put on the block were.
First and foremost, for this idea to work, you’d have to GET RID OF ELMYRA. I get that the character was popular for who-knows-what reason, I know that Elmyra was one of Spielberg’s favorite characters, but let’s be real here: Elmyra just doesn’t have a lead character’s aura. In the two Duff Family episodes of Tiny Toons, the character was surrounded by co-stars who were far more interesting than she was. The character of Elmyra only has 2 shticks:
She loves animals to death, and
She’s dumb as a post.
“Hey, that’s an insult to posts everywhere! At least we’re good for something!”
Elmyra simply isn’t deep, layered or appealing enough to carry an entire show, plus the Brain already had one dufus to contend with, Pinky; he didn’t need Stupid in Stereo. Had it been me, I would’ve gone with an entirely new kid character for the role, and while we’re at it, why not make this new kid non-white, just for diversity points?
“As you know, we executives aren’t big on hard work, and creativity’s not our thing. If you just want a non-white girl character to be the kid on this show, we don’t have to create one, we’ve already got a character like that, from the same show, in fact…”
…MARY MELODY.
Sure, why not? Mary Melody was also a Tiny Toon, so there’s your name recognition, plus personality-wise she was basically a blank slate, so the producers could do whatever they wanted with her and not tick off any fans. Flesh the character out; give her some quirks, passions and goals to shoot for, give her a funny, quirky family and possibly some friends to play off of, add some wacky neighbors to populate Mary’s world and you’ve got your Simpsons knockoff right there.
What about Pinky and Brain themselves, you ask? They’d still be on the show of course, but they’d have more of a supporting role. Here’s another unpopular opinion: I never thought Pinky and the Brain deserved their own series in the first place. They were fine as a light segment among other light segments, but as soon as you place the duo in the limelight, the shortcomings of the characters and the basic premise become all too obvious. Like Elmyra, Pinky and the Brain just don’t have deep enough personalities to carry an entire series, and honestly, if we really had to get an A! spinoff, I’d have much rather gotten a Slappy Squirrel show.
Anyway, P&B would basically function like the Penguins from the Madagascar movies: they’d be seen in the background hatching their own schemes by Mary Melody and the other human character’s feet, occasionally getting their own subplots.
Of course, they could occasionally get roped into the main plots via shenanigans.
That’s how I’d personally handle the Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain premise. For anyone who thinks it’s kind of jerky to reduce Pinky and Brain to supporting roles in what’s supposed to be their own spinoff, I say…
…It was more jerky to make Brain the meat in a stupid sandwich!
Twin Images 
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