We Won’t Touch This

The Twin Factor’s been blowing up lately. We’ve recently launched a new segment (Nerdvana) and several of our other segments have been going well; I’m sure the folks who follow this blog (we know you’re out there, we can hear you checking your email) are curious as to what we’ll tackle next, but there are some things which we definitely won’t be tackling. Just to set the record straight, the following items listed below are subjects which will not ever be reviewed or analyzed by Twinsanity:

  1. MOVIES. Do you know how many movie reviewers there are on the internet? The line starts with the Nostalgia Critic and circles the block 5 times over. The web is littered with dozens of movie reviewers and critics, and most of them do it 30 times better than we ever would; our collective attention spans are only about 20 to 30 minutes max anyway, and movies require longer and more involved reviews, and we know from experience that blow-by-blow reviews are time consuming and exhausting to write, especially for lazy people like us. So we won’t be reviewing any movies here. It’s just our Aquarian natures; since a bunch of other people review movies, then we won’t. We’re just rebels, and we’ll never ever be any good.
  2. ANIME. We here at The Twin Factor are about the ugliest of Ugly Americans; we’re about as Japanese and otaku as a Burger King Whopper. We’re only extremely casual viewers of anime, so we’d look like giant clueless hypocrites trying to review an anime and we’d have an easier time finding Waldo than we ever would trying to unlock the subtle nuances of the average anime. Keep in mind that the fancy label ‘anime’ didn’t exist in the US when we were kids in the ancient 1970’s; back then, everything animated was simply labeled ‘cartoons’, so that’s how we tend to view things. For anyone wishing to see an anime get proper analysis, we refer you to the Otaku Gamer Spot. Those guys have more anime knowledge in their eyelashes than we have in our entire bodies.
  3. VIDEO GAMES. Again, we’re just very, very, very casual gamers, and even then it’s mostly retro games, or at least they’re retro now; generally speaking, most people who are old enough to remember a time before there were video games tend not to be hardcore gamers. So we won’t be doing any game reviews here either. Yes, we do have a segment devoted to video games (Videots), but those are just pointless ramblings about games we’ve played or geek talk about specific characters, tropes and idioms in video games, and the Videots are rarely if ever informative. Again, the guys at the Otaku Gamer Spot do a much better job at tackling video games than we ever could.
  4. SILVER AGE WARNER BROTHERS CARTOONS (Tiny Toon Adventures, Animaniacs, Freakazoid!, et al). As those who follow this blog know, we’re both huge Warner Bros. fans, and we enjoyed the so-called Silver Age WB cartoons like Animaniacs, Freakazoid! and Tiny Toons a lot (Pinky & the Brain, not so much; we feel they were best taken in small doses, and we’re still a little miffed that Slappy Squirrel didn’t get a spinoff), but are we ever going to do full-on reviews of any of these shows? No. Why? For one thing, many other internet personalities have already reviewed these shows in great length, so anything we could say about them would be redundant. For another, it’s common knowledge that we like the majority of those shows, what else could we say about them other than “they were great”? It’s like with Barbie: Life in the Dream House; I like the show, and I watch it when it’s an episode that interests me (the ones focusing on Barbie’s Fab Sistsers are my favorite ones) but I’m not going to do a review on it, as I wouldn’t be saying much other than “I like it”. We can (and have) given some characters and such from these shows some shouty-shouts and mentions in other segments, and will continue to do so as desired, but we won’t be doing full reviews or analyses on any of them.
  5. LOONATICS UNLEASHED. I’m sure some folks would like to see us tear this show a new one, but sorry, we won’t be doing that. What could we possibly say about this show that hasn’t been already been said by dozens of angry fanboys and fangirls? It’d be like taking shots at Barney and Friends or any of the Family Circus TV specials: they’re not interesting enough to be a viable target and snarking on them would be FAR too easy. Another reason why we’re not going to review Loonatics Unleashed is because that would mean having to re-watch some of the episodes and that’s not going to happen.
  6. MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC. No. Nope. No. Not going to do it. Sorry. This show has gotten so much commentary and analysis over the past 4 years that there’s no way that we would even attempt to do anything along those lines. We’ve seen the show, it’s OK, but we’re not “Bronies”. We spotlighted 3 of our favorite MLP:FiM characters on our Why (blank) is Awesome! segment, that’s as deep as our fandom for MLP is going to get.
  7. ACTION CARTOONS. As the blog’s title states, this is where cartoons and COMEDY collide. While we do watch some action cartoons, we’re first and foremost comedy cartoon guys, as such any action cartoon we’d spotlight would be automatically be viewed from a comedian/weirdo/wise guy perspective. We’re just not that interested in most action cartoons to give them that kind of attention. If a certain character or trope from an action show catches our attention, we’ll give it a mention somewhere, like I could see myself mentioning Miko from Transformers Prime in an upcoming Why (blank) is Awesome! or a Nerdvana since I’ve always liked her character and find her to be a tasty little cookie, but I’m not the guy to come to for an essay on sentient robot soldiers from Cyberton. Again, anyone expecting a rich, full and detailed review or analysis of an action cartoon should look elsewhere.
  8. EACH AND EVERY NEW CARTOON THAT PREMIERES. When we started this blog back in 2010, we felt like we had to cover everything animated in order to appear knowledgeable and attract as many followers as possible. As a result, we ended up typing a lot of drawn-out, boring and uninspired articles about shows that we knew or cared little about. After 4 years, we’ve learned that it’s best that we stick to what we know and what interests us specifically; we don’t have to review every cartoon that comes down the pike, especially since blow-by-blow reviews are a pain to write, which is why we don’t do them that much anymore. The reviews we do nowadays are abridged for the most part (hence the name Reviews on the Run) and we have a strict policy that they have to be shows that we actually watch and are legitimately interested in. Something that our interest in fades after a few episodes or we were never interested in to start with doesn’t get an article. It’s way too much work pouring time and energy into something that we’re not even into.
So the next time someone ponder whether Twinsanity will ever spotlight any of the above, just remember….
WE WON’T TOUCH DIS!

Nerdvana: Song of the Songs

Hello and welcome to another installment of our newest segment on Twinsanity: Nerdvana. For those who don’t know, Nerdvana is the segment where we celebrate the geeky stuff we like. There’s so much ranting and snarking on the internet, we figured we should occasionally break out of cynic mode and say nice things about the things in media that we enjoy. Nerdvana is all inclusive, and can be about anything: a show, a character, an episode, a trope, a song, a skit, anything, as long as it’s something we like and we have something entertaining (or at least interesting) to write about it. Be warned: some of these Nerdvana entries are going to be very free-form and non-linear, and these entries aren’t informative in any way; think of Nerdvana as nerdy ramblings from someone who’s buzzed on Happy Juice and celebratory geekings out from the right side of the brain. That said, buckle up, and let’s begin.

Today I’ll be praising all things, concepts and characters connected to one of the characters on The Hub’s Littlest Pet Shop, Blythe Baxter’s BFF, Youngmee Song.

She’s cute, she’s got purple eyes, she’s a mathlete, she possesses encylopedic knowledge which Blythe sometimes finds creepy, she squees at boy bands and even wrote a song for one, she and Blythe have watched scary movies and tried on identical outfits together, she refuses to call adults (such as Blythe’s dad Roger) by their first names and can’t be made to do so via reverse psychology because she’s “different”. Awww.

Another reason I like Youngmee is because she’s related to this lady, her Aunt Christie.

She’s one of my toon crushes right now. I consider Christie to be a BILF: a Businesswoman I’d Like to…uh, Fool around with. Yeah, let’s go with that.
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Christie owns and operates this place, a sweet shop called Sweet Delights, where Youngmee works in her spare time.
Conveniently located right next to Littlest Pet Shop and right in front of a pile of tires.
 
Come on. The lady owns and runs a flippin’ SWEET SHOP. For some reason I really like this idea. How awesome a fictional job is that?? Surrounded by cupcakes, eclairs, ice cream sodas, doughnuts, jellybeans, malted milk balls, licorice, lollipops, parfaits, jaw breakers, peppermints, caramels, gumdrops and other assorted fattening tooth-rotting indulgences.
Jared Fogle
“OK, screw the diet! The only word I wanna hear after ‘healthy’, is APPETITE!”
 
Aww, look at Youngmee’s little hat!
 
Christie’s personality is largely that of a business woman. She is often seen talking on the cellphone and is usually working. Aunt Christie is often seen doing a combination of cooking, talking on the phone, emailing and interacting with others, showing an extremely good ability to multitask (even going to the degree of performing certain tasks with her feet to save time, such as opening oven doors and catching things she dropped).
“Feet. Yeah….heh…heh…heh…heh….”
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Enough heavy breathing, please. You’re steaming up my monitor.
Anyway, Christie is Youngmee’s aunt, though in the theater of my mind she’s her mom. In a recent episode of the show, “Feud for Thought”, which suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked in my humble opinion, we learn that Youngmee isn’t an orphan, she has parents who have yet to appear on screen, but I still like to think of Christie as Youngmee’s mom. It makes her that much more MILF-ish. Plus for me that makes things like this that much more fun:


Gee, I wonder if they like that box. I don’t know about you, but I could watch these two sing about their box for hours. What?

They’re also the owners of Buttercream Sundae, a adorable pet rabbit who’s clearly been eating too much of the unsold candies.

“Living in a sweet shop is great! I don’t know why you humans are always saying that too much candy is bad for you. Aside from the frequent trips to the dentist, the foaming at the mouth, the periodic blackouts and the odd night sweats, I’m as right as rain!”

yuck-mouth1

“Yeah! I’ve been surviving on nothing but junk food and no brushing for 45 years, and look how I turned out!”

So there you have it, my celebration of all things Youngmee Song.

yuck-mouth1
“Say, I’m a little peckish. Can I eat that rabbit? I likes ’em raw! I want my baby back baby back  baby back…”
 
 
“Just so ya know, I’ve got a taser!”

Nerdvana: "World Clique" by Deee Lite

Welcome to a new segment here on Twinsanity: Nerdvana. These segments will be very loosely structured and will be in no way informative. Here, we’re just going to talk about nerdy, geeky stuff that we like. It can be anything; a character. A show. A trope. A song. It doesn’t matter. Just as long as we like it and want to write about it. Even we need to take a break from snarkiness occasionally.

Let’s start with one of my jams. The song “World Clique” by the group Deee Lite. I first heard this song when Deee Lite performed as the musical guests on Saturday Night Live. The host that week was Rosanne Barr. Deee Lite performed their big hit song “Groove Is In the Heart” as their first number, and this on, the title track from their first album, as the second number. This song just sounds like a ‘B’, ya know.

Anyways, here’s “World Clique”. Enjoy.

2 Funny: Unique Street Sharks

In the wake of the recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, I thought this would be good for a few yuks. Robot Chicken‘s sketches are typically hit or miss, but this one made me chuckle. Enjoy Unique Street Sharks.

These guys were totally fresh and original, just like the Battletoads, the Biker Mice from Mars, the Extreme Dinosaurs and the Snailiens. Were you expecting maybe The Addams Family??