Everything Old is…Still Old

This week, it’s been announced that Cartoon Network will be premiereing a new block being called Best of CN on Friday March 30th at 8PM (EST). The block will be a quintet of Cartoon-Cartoon shorts shown in no particular order and apparently with no commercial breaks. The initial schedule (subject to last minute change, of course) is said to go thusly:
Cow & Chicken – “Happy Meat”
The Powerpuff Girls – “Meet the BeatAlls”
Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends – “Sight for Sore Eyes”
Johnny Bravo – “Johnny Bravo Meets Adam West”
Dexter’s Laboratory – “Star Spangled Sidekicks”
Not surprisingly, this news has caused a bit of a stir on the 2 message boards that I frequent. On Toon Zone in particular, 80% of the posters there are treating this news like the Second Coming, saying this is ushering in a new “Golden Age” for Cartoon Network and “Cartoon-Cartoon Fridays are back!!!” It never ceases to amaze me how so many peoples’ ideas of “improving” networks like CN, Nick and Disney simply entail bringing all of their ‘old’ (as in 90’s era) shows back.
Personally, I see this as more of a desperation move on Toon’s part. Everything else they’ve placed on Friday night thus far has gotten trounced, so part of me is cynical enough to think that this has little to do with Toon having an intense desire to bring back the good ol’ days. There’s also the matter of Cartoon Network giving this block zero promotion as of this writing. CN typically only promotes the shows and blocks that they actually care about and are banking on for huge success (ref: Level Up, Hall of Lame).
As such, I don’t see this getting huge ratings, nor do I see it sticking around for very long (though to be fair, the latter depends on what kind of ratings the block gets). But I know a lot of people have been wanting CN to show its’ older shows some love for a while now, so I suggest savoring the moment while it’s here. (I personally hope that this doesn’t start a trend on CN going retro; I may be alone with this opinion, but while a little retro is OK in small doses, I’d rather see these networks plow forward and make solid new shows as opposed to keep jumping into the WABAC machine and pulling out their past shows. You can’t move ahead by constantly looking back, after all. If you look back for too long, your neck starts to hurt.)
What I find even more surprising is the number of people who seem to think (and who knows where they got this idea) that this Best of CN block somehow means that Toonami is coming back. Somewhere folks have gotten this notion that because CN is making an old-school (so 90’s is “old school” now? Thanks for making me feel old) comedy block, that at some point the block’s hosts Zorak and Brak will mutate into TOM and the block will one night become a night of old Toonami shows, and then all crime, poverty and famine will disappear from the world, and then Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mother Nature, Uncle Sam and Joseph Smith will descend from the heavens and give everyone on Earth free money and their own Slurpee machines, and all will be right with the world once more.
Huh?
Why and how does this ‘Best of CN’ block signify Toonami’s return? Did I miss something here? Do these people not realize that Toonami was a block which relied heavily (though not entirely) on 3rd party acquisitions, many of which Turner no longer has the broadcasting rights to anymore, and therefore a ‘Best of Toonami’ night would be next to impossible as it would have to be without most of the shows that people would be clamoring for like Dragon Ball/Z, Sailor Moon, Outlaw Star, Yu Yu Hakusho, Gundam, etc? Acquisitions cost $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$, folks, and CN is not about to shell out the amount of lettuce needed to re-acquire all of these shows for one night on a block which probably won’t even be around 12 months from now. Also, if memory serves, didn’t action cartoons fail to garnish ratings on Friday night? So why would CN risk running Toonami on there? If action was doing well on Friday nights, then why aren’t Thundercats and DC Nation airing there?
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret: CN doesn’t need ‘retro’, nor a block like this in order to resurrect Toonami; if The Powers That Be wanted so, Toonami could be airing on CN now. Not in a year, not next month, but now. It would be a different Toonami than the one we knew, but a block by it’s very nature has to keep rotating shows in order to stay fresh. CN could revive Toonami tomorrow and place TOM bumps around NinjaGo is they chose to. They could conceivably run all of their current action cartoon shows under the Toonami banner; just place the Toonami graphics and TOM bumps around the lineup of Ben 10, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Thundercats, Green Lantern: The Animated Series, Young Justice, Pokemon, Bakugan, Bayblade and NinjaGo, and place the sports fillers and DC Nation shorts between the shows, or they could just repackage Adult Swim’s anime on Saturday nights with Toonami wraps and bumpers. CN owns the Toonami name, lock, stock and barrel, so doing so wouldn’t cost Turner a red nickel to do so (though IMNSHO people suddenly clamoring to sit through the same programming just because a robot with the voice of Steven Jay Blum is chatting before and after the commercial breaks is kind of sad in a way). CN could revive Toonami any time they wanted to, they just don’t want to.
I know people get tired of me saying this, but here it is again: If Cartoon Network still wanted Toonami around, then it would still be around. Period.

EDIT: Well, after an obviously planned and prepped April Fool’s Day stunt, it seems that according to co-creator Jason DeMarco that Toonami will be coming back in some way, shape or form on Cartoon Network, possibly on Adult Swim anime on Saturday nights, at least that’s the current rumor. So it seems that this blogger needs to dine on some humble pie.



 
Mmm, humility.

Something Funny Isn’t Going On Here

Recently, everybody’s favorite guy of the moment, Stuart Snyder, Prez of Cartoon Network, took part in an interview about the current state of CN and the machinations that he’s made with it over the past 4 years. This, in a nutshell, is what he said:

“c21 Media profiles and interviews Cartoon Network chief Stuart Snyder, giving the network topper the chance to describe and justify the network’s moves over the last four years.

In the buzzword-heavy article, Snyder points to better demographic numbers for his network and credits a strategy of targeting specific nights toward specific audiences while also providing a balanced array of programming. “We look at our strategy as always being a comedy focus, boys-skewing but girls-inviting,” he tells the magazine. The article notes that anime has a much diminished presence on Cartoon Network, and glances at the anger generated by “fanboys” at the presence of live-action programming on the schedule, but offers no direct explanation or justification for the changes beyond an implicit nod at the “diversification” strategy.

The article also describes some of the network’s business moves, including its continuing association with Time Warner sibling Warner Bros. Animation. The channel is also developing a live-action Ben 10 feature film with Lethal Weapon/Die Hard/Matrix-producer Joel Silver.”
Yeah.
It goes without saying that this so-called “interview” was little more that a softball piece of PR noise. Snyder didn’t address any of the points that we would’ve wanted him to, like how action is getting the red-headed stepchild treatment by the network (the debut of DC Nation is less than a month away, and it’s gotten just above zero promotion on the network, not to mention how DCN will be airing on Saturday mornings rather than an evening time slot), and of course Stu casually tap-danced around how his attempts to remake Cartoon Network into Nickelodeon Too with a fresh coat of live-action paint has resulted largely in failure. Someone more versed in action cartoon lore could address that issue better than I could, I want to specifically address the statement in bold.
Cartoon Network comedy-focused?? Girl Inviting?? Really? Is that really what he thinks his network is?
Anyone who knows me and/or regularly follows this blog already knows how I feel about the prospect of live-action on Cartoon Network, so I’ll spare you the usual noise, suffice to say that in an ideal world, the number of live-action shows on a channel called CARTOON Network should be zero, except for host segments and wraparounds. Having said that, if Stu really wants CN to be comedy-focused, then why are so many of his live-action projects reality and sports-themed crap? What’s funny about My Dad’s A Pro, other than how somebody actually thought this dreck would be entertaining? If we really must have live-action on Cartoon Network, shouldn’t it be comedic live-action? Even if Snyder wants to integrate live-action into Cartoon Network to make it more like Nick and Disney, he’s going to have to do better than stuff like the Hall of Game Awards and My Dad’s a Pro. This wannabe cool sports-themed stuff might fly if Fox ever decides to make an offshoot network of Fuel TV aimed at kids, but those shows just don’t gel with CN’s animation-heavy, comedy-focused format. Part of the reason as I see it why so many of Snyder’s live-action show ideas have crapped out or were DOA was simply because they’re just too much of a departure from what people expect to see on Toon. The best show of the lot so far has been Unnatural History (that’s what people tell me,anyway; I never saw the show myself) and even that was too much of a deviation; an hour long action/drama with no animation, puppety oddballs or silly stuff just wasn’t a good fit on a channel that alleges to be comedy focused.
Why doesn’t Snyder put something like this on Cartoon Network?

For the uninformed, that was a clip for the upcoming Aquabats Super Show!, a live-action/animation hybrid series built around our favorite rock/ska superhero band, which will be premiering on The Hub in March. If Snyder thinks of CN as being comedy-focused, then didn’t he make a bid for this show to air on Cartoon Network? The Aquabats Super Show! would’ve been a better fit for CN than Tower Prep or Bobb’e Says, and not just because TASS! has animated segments in it. It just fits the alleged bill so well: hip music, cartoons, wacky characters and all-around craziness. I already plan to watch TASS!, but if it were coming to CN, then maybe I’d have a tinge more faith in Snyder’s master plan.
For that matter, I’ve been kicking around an idea which I think would be cool for CN to do, since it’s obvious that Snyder’s not going to be swayed away from his little scheme of getting live-action shows on Cartoon Network. I call my show idea Toons and Tunes. This show would either air on early weekend evenings or perhaps on Saturday mornings. (My thought is that there could be a 30-minute version of Toons and Tunes which would air on early Saturday or Sunday evenings and a 60-minute version on Saturday mornings.) The stars of the show would be a zany pair of youngsters who host a half-hour cartoon show from their shared bedroom. The duo also happen to be computer/tech wizards, so their room is chock full of crazy gadgets and wacky contraptions, including a hapless robot nanny who tries unsuccessfully to keep these 2 goofballs in line. The 2 kids would perform their own shtick while introducing 2 cartoon shorts and a music video each show. The cartoons would be from the Turner/WB vaults: a Looney Tunes short, an MGM short, a Tom & Jerry short, a Herculoids short, a Birdman (not Harvey!) short, a single Chowder short, a single Kids Next Door short, a single Ed, Edd ‘n’ Eddy short, etc., but since our kid stars are tech geniuses, they would add their own commentary and trivial facts about the cartoons via pop-up bubbles, which would appear on the screen during the shorts. After the 2 shorts (and some more shtick from our hosts), there would be a music video. Said video wouldn’t be typical pop music stuff, but rather an unconventional video which is either animated, comedy-oriented or just plain weird. Kind of a Dr. Demento sort of thing. Some examples of the music videos which would be featured on the show:
  • “Come On Feet” by Quasimoto
  • “Fish Heads” by Barnes & Barnes
  • “Elephants and Little Girls” by Loch Lomond
  • “Atomic Dog” by George Clinton
  • “Vanz Kant Danz” by John Fogerty
  • “Life in the Slaw Lane” by Kip Odotta
  • “Polka Changed My Life Today” by Rotondi
  • “Killer Joe” by Manhattan Transfer
  • Anything by Weird Al Yankovic, They Might Be Giants or The Aquabats
Now, is that the best idea for a Cartoon Network show? Perhaps, perhaps not. But it’s definitely better than any live-action show idea that Snyder’s come up with so far. At least my ideas are actually comedy focused and would be, you know, entertaining.

The Game Plan: Reconstructing the Cartoon Networks

On either of the 2 animation message boards that I’m currently on (The Big Cartoon Database and Toon Zone, respectively), it seems that invariably the subject of “Fill-in-the-blank network sucks now!” turns up, which leads to discussion about how to improve said network. And Cartoon Network is the channel most frequently placed on the chopping block. Seriously, just go to BCDB’s Cartoon Network, Nick and Boomerang forum; all they do there is complain about how bad they think CN has gotten. (I personally think that the Nickelodeon and Disney Channels are in far worse shape than Cartoon Network is, but that’s for another entry.) Having had to endure these nonstop debates for so long, I’ve come up with a way to improve Cartoon Network and it’s knockoffs, Boomerang and [adult swim]. I’m not saying that my way is the best way or even the only way to go, but it’s a way. It’s what I would do anyway.
And no, by improving the network, I DON’T mean just bringing all of the 90’s shows back and regressing CN back to the way it was 20 years ago. Just stepping back into the WABAC machine and regressing CN back its’ 1990’s form wouldn’t be improving the channel at all. Sure, that would please the fanboys, but it wouldn’t bring the channel the desired ratings and ultimately would do more harm than good, for the simple fact that nostalgia has a limited shelf-life. There are only so many times one can loop an old schedule of reruns before viewers start reaching for the remote because they’ve seen these shows 100 times already. TV is a business, and in order for a business to succeed, it must keep moving forward, not constantly be in a state of looking back. If you look back for too long, your neck starts to hurt.
Now, on to business.
For starters, I would give all 3 “networks” (I’m counting Adult Swim as a separate network here, even though I know that it’s really just a programming block on Cartoon Network. We all know that AS is just a mask that CN wears at night in order to protect its’ family-friendly image, but for ratings and demographics purposes, it’s considered a separate network, so let’s just call it that for the sake of this discussion) a unified branding. Cartoon Network, as the main default network and the one that started it all, will retain its’ present name and logo, viz:

But the others would get new names and logos, all based on the above design, similar to those of Nick’s current logos:

Under my regime, Adult Swim would be rechristened CNPM. Its’ logo would be the familiar CN tile logo with an additional tile next to it, white on blue, with letters P and M on it. Boomerang would likewise under go a name change, to CN2. Its’ logo would again be the familiar CN tiles, but with a 3rd tile, colored white on red (dang, I wish I had Photoshop!) with a number 2 on it.
Now on to the channels themselves:
CARTOON NETWORK

Despite what haters and nostalgia buffs will tell you, Cartoon Network doesn’t need a complete overhaul. The changes I propose making to CN are really only tweaks. There is, however, room for improvement in some areas. Let’s break them down:

  1. CN would go back to being a general animation lovers’ channel. It wouldn’t entirely lose its’ kid-centric focus, but no more trying to compete head-on with Disney and Nick. CN would be marketing itself as the alternative to those networks rather than trying to follow in their footsteps. CN’s revised schedule would be more reminiscent of early Teletoon. There would be several segments of programming devoted to certain content and it would show more mature fare as the day progressed, with a strong commitment to air diverse and international programming, as well as the ability to air a great majority of material uncut. Basically, it would be little kids’ time in the mornings, big kids’ time in the afternoons, general audience/family time in the evenings and adults’ time at night.
  2. There would be no more skewing the network primarily towards boys. CN’s shows, while some of them are quite good, are starting to look a lot alike. Nearly all of them have predominantly (if not exclusively) male casts. That would end immediately under my rule. This “anti-girl” stance that CN is on right now is ridiculous, especially when you consider that the network’s biggest commercial success to date is The Powerpuff Girls. The current boy-centric shows wouldn’t have to leave, but there would definitely be some girl-centric shows (both action and comedy) added to CN’s lineup.
  3. There would be corporate synergy between CN’s parents, Turner and Warner Bros. I don’t know how to do it, but even if it meant locking suits from each company into 1 room and beating them all about the heads until they all agreed to play nice with each other, but it would happen under my fantasy regime. This would mean that shows like Legion of Super Heroes, Tom & Jerry Tales and Shaggy & Scooby-Doo Get A Clue! would start airing on CN, but this newfound synergy would be more noticeable on CN2/Boomerang (which I’ll elaborate on later).
  4. There would be a greater commitment to animation on the channel. The live-action shows like Dude, What Would Happen?, Destroy Build Destroy and Hole in the Wall have been putting butts in seats, so I wouldn’t ax them, but they would be relegated to 1 night a week. Wednesday has been working as CNReal day, so i’d keep that, but the live-action would air on that night and only on that night. Also, the CNReal shows as well as the movies on The Flicks would have to adhere to a new rule: they can be game shows, comedies, action or what-have-you, as long as they in some way embody or are reminiscent of or at the very least are inspired by or based on, animation. The scripted shows and movies can feature animation, CGI or puppety oddballs and costume characters, but anything that doesn’t won’t be seen there. Movies like Shrek and Over the Hedge are acceptable, the Spider-Man, Batman and Transformers movies also pass since they’re based on cartoons, The Mask, Ace Ventura and Angels in the Outfield also get a marginal pass since they either feature animation or are cartoonish in nature, but movies which have zilch to do with animation and contain no animation like Snow Day or School of Rock are out.
  5. CNPM (formerly Adult Swim) would be pushed back to 11 PM and reduced to just 2 airings a week. Adult Swim is doing too well on CN to just dump it, but I think it’s past the point where it needs to air every night. It’s only 4 hours of programming and it doesn’t have nearly enough programming to justify a 7 night a week airing. I’ve seen every episode of Metalocalypse several times. I’ve seen every episode of Robot Chicken several times. I’ve seen every episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force several times. And I’ve seen every episode of Family Guy so many times that I can recite the dialogue to each one backwards and forwards. CNPM would go back to only airing twice a week: with a premiere on Sunday nights and an encore on Thursday nights. What would air on those extra nights and hours, you say? Glad you asked. I would initiate an action cartoon block which would air from 10 PM to 11 PM; this block would consist of some Western action cartoons as well as some anime (yes, even non-toy based action anime) as well as action cartoons from other countries. (Keep in mind, the new CN has an international flavor.) There would also be an expanded Night of Action on Saturday nights from, say, 8 PM to say, 2 AM, similar to the late Saturday Video Entertainment System (SVES). On all other weeknights from 11 PM to 6 AM, I would offer old-school CN lovers a retro block of Boomerang, spotlighting Turner owned cartoons from the 40’s through the early ’00’s. This would be for the benefit of those who don’t receive the CN2 channel.

Now, onto Cartoon Network’s sister channel.


CN2 (formerly Boomerang)

As with Cartoon Network, the changes I would make to CN2 wouldn’t need to be that elaborate. Between Turner and Warner Bros.’ collective vaults, there’s enough programming to sustain a 24/7 channel, I think. No need to acquire a bunch of 3rd party shows, which would require money and CN2 would have to become a commercial network in order to pay for them. Here’s what I’d do to CN2:

  1. MAKE SOME NEW BUMPERS. Boomerang has been using the exact same smegging toy bumps since its’ inception. They would be the first things to go. Something else, anything else, I don’t care. Just no more toy bumpers, and update the brand motif every year or so, for crying out loud.
  2. Bring back the Shorties and Groovies inserts between shows, and possibly make new inserts as well.
  3. Air more shows from the Turner vaults, and air every episode of said shows. The shows with low episode counts would air weekly, not daily.
  4. Add more latter-day defunct Cartoon Network shows to the lineup. Boom already airs some 90’s to 00’s CN shows like Dexter’s Laboratory, Johnny Bravo, the Powerpuff Girls, Cow & Chicken, Courage the Cowardly Dog and Mike, Lu & Og, so why stop there? I’d add Sheep in the Big City, Time Squad, Whatever Happened to Robot Jones?, Codename: Kids Next Door, My Gym Partner’s A Monkey and Camp Lazlo to the lineup, and there’s no reason whatsoever why Ed, Edd ‘n’ Eddy, Megas XLR and Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends don’t air on Boom now, so they’d definitely air on CN2.
  5. Start airing more WB-owned shows. Since under my rule Turner and WB would play sharsies with one another, shows like Super Friends, Teen Titans, The Batman and Justice League/Unlimited would air on CN2, as well as Looney Tunes and several of the so-called Silver Age WB shows like Tiny Toon Adventures, Animaniacs, Freakazoid!, Taz-Mania, The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries, etc.
  6. Add blocks such as The Tex Avery Show, The Chuck Jones Show, The Bob Clampett Show and Down with Droopy D to the lineup.
  7. Initiate a late-night block to the channel (sort of a retro Adult Swim lite) which would include art-house shows like O Canada, Sunday Pants, early (pre-AS) episodes of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, Popeye and Late Night Black and White.
  8. Add compilation shows spotlighting trivia and info on our favorite cartoons and the folks behind them, like Toon Heads.
  9. Re-initiate former CN blocks such as Toon-A-Palooza and 70’s Super Explosion.


Again, I’m not saying that the above strategy is the best way (or even the only way) to improve these networks, but it’s a way. It’s certainly a better solution than just regressing them back to the way they were decades ago.




"The Looney Tunes Show": Bedlam in the ‘Burbs

First, for those who don’t know, let me start by saying that I’m a huge, HUGE fan of Warner Brothers animation, especially the Merrie Melodies and Looney Tunes. Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and the gang were a quintessential part of my childhood. Since I’ve always felt like I’m half-human, half-cartoon anyway, I enjoyed and could identify with most of them (especially Daffy Duck, whom I consider to be my alter ego), and the Warner Bros. shorts helped shape me into the delightfully twisted individual that I am today.

Not only did I enjoy the original WB shorts, but I was also into the latter-day cartoon shows from the ’90’s which were inspired by the greatness of the Looney Tunes shorts, such as Tiny Toon Adventures, Animaniacs and Freakazoid! (Pinky & the Brain, not so much; those characters were OK in small doses, but I never thought they deserved their own show. Now a Slappy Squirrel spinoff, on the other hand….)

In recent years, however, we haven’t seen much of Bugs and company. There have been the occasional single character shows like Taz-Mania and Duck Dodgers and the odd knockoff show like Baby Looney Tunes (an uninspired and unfunny babyfication that recalled the babyfication shows of the 80’s and 90’s, though it came out during the ’00’s) and 1 or 2 movies like Space Jam and Looney Tunes: Back in Action, but other than that, not much of anything at all for nearly a decade. The shorts even disappeared from Cartoon Network and Boomerang, not due to lack of popularity, but rather due to an extreme lack of corporate synergy between CN’s parents, Turner and Warner Bros. (I’ll spare you the details of why; the basic rub is that WB wanted Turner to pay them a royalty for the rights to air the shorts and Turner basically said “We can’t go for that. No now, no can do”, hence a years long standoff between those 2 stubborn Zax.) Had WB forgotten about us? Where are the Looney Tunes now? What have they been up to? Just where are they??

Enter The Looney Tunes Show.

 

First, a little history. The Looney Tunes Show project was first launched about 2 and a half years ago. It was originally conceived as a sketch comedy show entitled Laff Riot, and since went through a number of twists and turns (at one stage, it was even considered to make the gang younger, like teenagers. Please, no. It’s not the late 80’s to early 90’s anymore; the days of babyfication/kiddification/teenifications are over, and thank the Cathode Gods for that), until finally the idea of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck sharing a house was tossed around, leading to what the show is today.

Here’s the overview: Bugs Bunny has moved out of his hole in the ground and has settled into a house in a suburban neighborhood known as Royal Oaks Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks in the suburbs of California. Along for the ride is Daffy Duck, who has apparently fallen upon hard times and is currently crashing in Bugs’ pad temporarily until he gets back on his feet…which hasn’t happened yet in 5 years and counting. In addition to this oddest of odd couples, the wascally wabbit and the little black duck have a score of Looney Tunes favorites as their eccentric colorful wacky neighbors:

  • Porky Pig has the George Costanza role of the lovable loser, the awkward square hanger-on who’s still eager and willing to hang with Daffy and Bugs; he’s just happy to be included.
  • Yosemite Sam is the resident grouchy, overly aggressive neighbor from hell who’s always got something shady going on. he’s a liar, a cheat and sore loser, but at least he’s consistent.
  • Granny lives next door to Bugs and Daffy, and is once again the owner of Tweety and Sylvester. T&S are still pets on TLTS, so Bugs, Daffy and the other anthros never talk directly to them. Otherwise, it would look weird how some animals who are owned are livng alongside other animals who live independently of humans.
  • Foghorn Leghorn is a self-made billionaire and adventurer, but still an oblivious blowhard.
  • Speedy Gonzalez (here voiced by Saturday Night Live regular Fred Armisen) runs the local diner, when he’s not residing within the bowels of Bugs and Daffy’s home.
  • Mac and Tosh, aka the Goofy Gophers, run an antique and curio shop (among other occupations; the 2 seem to be the commentators of every staged event on the show), but are still exceptionally polite to one another.
  • Elmer Fudd is a newsreader who puts a pleasant, simple-minded spin on even the worst reports.
  • Witch Hazel is now called Witch Lezah (Hazel backwards; perhaps a relative, acquaintance or doppelganger?) and is here voiced by actress Roz Ryan (regular viewers of Cartoon Network will probably know Ryan best as the voice of Bubbie the whale on The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack), though June Foray is still around to voice Granny. ‘Lezah’ is another neighbor and a practicing witch who acts as a single mother to Gossamer (the hulking, orange-haired, big finger-nailed, sneaker-wearing monster from Chuck Jones’ Hair-Raising Hare).
  • The Tasmanian Devil, aka Taz, like Sylvester and Tweety, is a pet on TLTS. (He’s Bugs’ dog, to be exact.) This may seem odd, but considering the last time that WB tried to portray Taz as an ‘intelligent’ animal a la Bugs, Daffy and Porky, he was met with criticism by a pressure group for allegedly making fun of teenagers with Down’s Syndrome (I am not making this up), so I’m guessing the show’s writers felt that making Taz a pet was just safer.
  • Pepe Le Pew is a Lothario of a wedding planner with 7 ex-wives.
  • Lola Bunny (introduced in Space Jam) is also back for more, though she’s nothing like her SJ self. Voice by another SNL cast member, Kristen Wiig, Lola here is considerably bubblier, goofier and crazier, and just a little clingy. Did I say a little?
  • A single new character makes her debut on TLTS: Tina Russo Duck, a female counterpart for Daffy. She works at a copy shop and tries to make a decent man out of the out-of-control mallard because she “likes a project”.

Each episode of The Looney Tunes Show consists of a single 22-minute installment with such plots as: Bugs and Daffy go on a game show for best friends, but Daffy is so self-absorbed and oblivious to everything around him that isn’t Daffy related that he muffs every question, including naming Bugs’ famous catch phrase (“Um….I don’t do Mondays!”) and even the rabbit’s last name; the duo going to prison and Bugs discovering to his delight that he can insult whomever he wants and not receive any physical punishment for it (“It’s a smart-aleck’s paradise!”); and the guys having to room with Sam (and briefly his Russian mail-order bride) after Sam’s plans to go off the grid are defeated by an extended rainstorm. In between the acts of the story are filler segments: “Merrie Melodies”, little musical interludes featuring various characters sending up various musical genres, such as Elmer crooning a smooth, sensual ballad about coming home to his beloved grilled cheese sandwich, Marvin the Martian doing a club-techno style number about how he just wants to be friends–unless you cross him, in which case it’s laser time; and a rap number by Sam about how he can’t help but blow his stack–accompanied by a trio of high-thighed female backup singers who seem to be bent on getting him to do just that. There are also dialogue-less shorts starring the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote (the only 2 characters who weren’t transplanted to the suburban cul-de-sac) rendered in CGI (my guess is that the RR shorts are done in CG so as to emphasize that they take place in a different setting than the rest of the show, but that’s just a guess).

Now you’d think that the first major Looney Tunes TV show in nearly 10 years would be greeted with open arms by the Looney Tunes faithful, right?

Well, yes and no.

While many folks are taking to The Looney Tunes Show, several more are not. Upon seeing the clips which are posted on CN’s website as well as the premiere episode, I was exposed to bile and hate-rants that I never would have expected to hear directed towards something Looney Tunes-related. One brain surgeon declared TLTS “a ruination of the Looney Tunes franchise” and the “WORST. SHOW. EVER.”

Really?

I realize that not everybody would be won over by TLTS, but the worst show ever? Seriously? You think that THIS is the worst thing WB has ever done with the LT franchise? Have we really forgotten about this???

Loonatics_titulo

 

Geez, was 4 years really that long ago? Have we all honestly forgotten what a steaming pile of suck Loonatics Unleashed was?? I can understand some people not taking to The Looney Tunes Show, but to imply that it’s anywhere near the level of utter badness of Loonatics Unleashed? Dude, what are you smokin’??!?

As I see it, the biggest problem that The Looney Tunes Show faces is that, well, it’s Looney Tunes. LT is such an iconic brand that any new adaptation of the franchise is automatically going to have ridiculously high expectations attached to it, and so any new version of Looney Tunes is going to be a disappointment to some.

The 3 biggest complaints I’ve been hearing about The Looney Tunes Show are:

  1. “It’s not the shorts”, as another rocket scientist emoted.
  2. The suburban setting and the sitcom-style format, and
  3. The new stylized character designs.

Allow me to give my takes on each:

Regarding points #1 and #2: Well duh, Einstein, WB never claimed that TLTS would be a 100% reiteration of the old shorts. There’s no way it could be as Friz Freleng, Chuck Jones, Robert McKimson, Bob Clampett, Arthur Davis, Milt Franklin and Mel Blanc are all no longer with us, and unless someone at Warner’s knows black magic or voodoo, they can’t be brought back. Nor do I think that it should be; if WB just wanted to rehash the old shorts format and formulas, they could just re-air the original shorts on Cartoon Network (which they’re doing right now in order to promote TLTS, making a shorts rehash even less necessary.)

If I wanted to see the exact same take on the characters and the exact same situations as the original shorts with absolutely NO changes made to them, then there’d be no point in Warner Bros. making anything new at all. Which is not to say that there shouldn’t be any consistency to the characters, but the “changes” made to the characters and situations aren’t really that different or beyond what we’ve come to expect (these characters have been portrayed as living in suburban homes and/or holding down jobs in quite a number of shorts), so complaining about the cosmetic changes the producers have applied on this show is, well, kind of stupid. The fact of the matter is that these characters have been re-interpreted time and again several times over the years by Termite Terrace’s various directors, so which interpretation are TLTS’ producers supposed to be faithful to? Very few things about the Looney Tunes are actually set in stone. Saying, “It HAS to be THIS way” is just limiting creating freedom and potential. Of course, that can go both ways. If they are forced to make things new just for the sake of being new, it can be bad as well. But I don’t see TLTS as being an example of the latter; I see it as merely being a modern-day take on the characters set in a fixed locale that’s familiar with its’ intended audience.

Regarding point #3: forgive my bluntness, but the people complaining about the new designs should get over it. The fact of the matter is that the Looney Tunes characters’ designs have changed each time that a different director took over for said character in the shorts: Tex Avery’s Bugs Bunny looked different from Bob Clampett’s Bugs, who looked different from Robert McKimson’s Bugs, who looked different from Chuck Jones’ Bugs, etc. despite this, Bugs was always still recognizable as Bugs, despite how each director had his own physical take on the character. What’s happening here on The Looney Tunes Show is no different.

As far as I’m concerned, TLTS came around at just the right time. The Looney Tunes have been off of TV proper for a considerable while now; we’re coming into a generation of kids who either don’t know or barely know who Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes are. Some kids who regularly watch CN might know them as those characters from Space Jam or Back in Action, but not intimately, and that thought both frightens and repulses me. Disney has managed to keep their shorts stars in the limelight for the past 10 years, granted they’ve mainly been using them as babysitters for wee tots, bit they’re still using them, so why can’t or shouldn’t WB do the same for their shorts stars?

Which is not to say that The Looney Tunes Show is all rainbows and lollipops. It’s not perfect. There are a few things that I’d like to see changed about the show. Minor nitpicks, but nitpicks nonetheless:

  1. I don’t think that every story needs to be one 22-minute episode; some of them are just 11-minute or 7-minute plots. I’d like to see some short length stories with only the occasional 22-minute episode. Sometimes the strain to keep the stories going is very noticeable.
  2. On this regard, I agree with the show’s naysayers: the lack of constant background music on the show is somewhat awkward. Maybe I’m just spoiled by the shorts and the Silver Age shows, but I would like to see that changed.
  3. Another valid point the detractors have is that there should be a little more slapstick on the show. there’s nothing wrong with the verbal humor, but this is Looney Tunes. The odd falling anvil, comical explosion or pie in the face couldn’t hurt.

So overall, I give The Looney Tunes Show a B+. Is it the best thing ever? No, but a total abomination on the LT franchise? Not by a long shot. The show’s ratings have been solid so far, so as a fan, I say more power to ’em. To all who aren’t fans, hey, it’s fine if this show isn’t your cup of tea, but I urge you to………

NEVER FORGET.
2005-2007

Don’t Just Stand There…DO Something!

You know what’s been grinding my gears lately?

These nonstop internet threads, rants and YouTube videos of people whining, “I want my old Nickelodeon back!” or “I want my old Cartoon Network back!” These things have been sprouting up like weeds online; I’m currently on 2 message boards, and invariably, we’ll get a “ways to improve Nick” or “How would you improve Cartoon Network?” thread; it never ceases to amaze me how so many peoples’ idea of “improving” these networks entails booting off all of the current shows and bringing all of the 1990’s shows back. The final straw for me was this obviously fake news bulletin stating how Nickelodeon was basically dumping all of its’ “terrible” current shows like iCarly, Big Time Rush and T.U.F.F. Puppy and would be resurrecting their 90’s cartoon franchises like Doug, Rugrats and Hey, Arnold! with new episodes. What’s scary about this is that many people actually believed this to be true.

Sadly, this attitude is all too prevalent on the net nowadays. To all of the people yelling, “I want my old Cartoon Network back!” or “I want my old Nickelodeon back!”, I’d like to say just three little words:

Let. It. Go.

Seriously, get over it and get on with your lives. Yes, the 90’s were a great decade for both channels, but it’s Reality Check time: CN and Nick are never going to go back to being the way they were in the 1990’s. Never. You know why they aren’t? For one simple reason: it’s not the 1990’s anymore. The 90’s were 20 years ago. If you’re old enough to fondly remember the 90’s then you’re officially out of CN and Nick’s target demo and are therefore invisible to these channels. CN and Nick aim their programming at kids, not adult nostalgia buffs, but kids. And that means people who are kids now, not people who were kids 20 years ago. I get that you’re fans of the 90’s era shows (I enjoyed several of them myself), but don’t let your fanboyism blind you into believing that a schedule devoid of anything new and which endlessly loops all of the shows that you grew up loving would be better for the network. That’s not how it works. Nick and CN constantly re-running their 90’s shows and not making any new shows might please some fans, but from a business perspective it would be a terrible idea. TV is a business, and no bsuiness has ever gotten ahead by constantly looking back. Just because the majority of the 90’s cartoons were great doesn’t mean that nobody should ever try to make new ones: people would be out of work that way, and eventually, with nothing new coming down the pike, these networks would eventually start to lose money. And losing money is never good for business.

I think that instead of wishing for Cartoon Network and Nick to bring the old shows back, we should hope for these networks to produce new shows with the same level of creativity and commitment to quality as the shows of the 90’s.

The problem with the rallying cry of “I want my old (fill-in-the-blank network) back!” is that Nick and CN aren’t “our” networks anymore. They’re for the kids of today. While it would be great if their parent companies would show viewers our age some love with the occasional returns of the shows from our era onto their schedules for a little while as well as some decent DVD sets, we really should let today’s kids have these channels, since that’s what matters for the survival of these networks. The shows that Nick and CN run currently may not appeal to you or I, but that’s not a requirement; it only matters if today’s kids like them. CN and Nick are “their” channels now, we should let them have them and form their own fond memories.

I generally don’t take much stock in nostalgia because it’s circular; in 20 years time, in 2031, we’ll be subjected to piles of threads videos and rants from people who are complaining that they want their 2011 Nick and CN back.

Another thing that bugs me about the TV nostalgia complainers is how so many of them aren’t willing to put forth any effort to satisfy their needs. All too often they just sit on their saw-horses and kvetch about how their desires aren’t being met and wanting the networks they watch to do everything to accommodate their wishes. Last year on 1 of the forums I’m on, there was this guy who would come on there every week just to whine, complain, crab and moan about Boomerang: he would go on and on about how he didn’t like that Boomerang was now airing newer cartoons and what he called “Japanese fighting shows” like Swat Kats, Teen Titans, Samurai Jack and Pokemon (never mind that 3 out of those 4 shows are in fact American and the 4th isn’t a fighting show, but a collecting show) and how he wished that Boom would go back to showing Looney Tunes, Superfriends and Mr. Magoo (never mind that those shows are all property of Warner bros. and if Turner ever wanted to re-acquire them, they’d have to pay Warner a whopping royalty). Around this same time, there was another forum member who wouldn’t stop yammering about how he wanted to see Kekaishi moved from [adult swim] to the Cartoon Network schedule; apparently this kid had once watched something on [adult swim] when he was younger and was so freaked out by what he saw that he refused to watch [as] anymore, and he wouldn’t stop going on about how he wanted Turner to move Kekaishi to CN (Never mind that currently the only anime that CN runs are the toy-based ones like Pokemon, Bakugan and Beyblade).

To these couch potatoes, I ask this: instead of wishing, hoping and dreaming that these networks will change their ways for you, have you ever considered, I don’t know, DOING something to remedy your predicament? Crazy thought, I know, but you could actually DO something instead of just spiting what CN and Boom are doing now.

And when I say “do something about it” I don’t mean creating an account on a message board just to complain. That doesn’t work, because most of the time the people in charge of programming on these networks don’t hang out on public message boards. Nor do I mean signing some online petition or starting some “revival project” on Facebook. Online petitions are like miracle diets: they don’t work because they’re too easy to doctor, and a gathering of people on Facebook to talk about how great a show is and post really bad fan art isn’t a “revival project” because neither of those things are going to get your favorite shows back on the air.

If Da Boom or CN aren’t running the shows that you want them to or they’re not running them at a convenient time for you, DO something about it. If these shows aren’t airing at a convenient time for you, record them and watch them at a time that is convenient. If these shows are on DVD, buy the DVDs and watch them at your leisure. Find out if these shows are on a legal streaming video service and subscribe to that service. If a DVD distributor isn’t producing DVD sets of your favorite shows, then write to them and ask them to; let them know that you’d be willing to pay for your favorite shows on DVD. Heck, you could even study the art form you love, learn to write and draw, take a course in animation or art or creative writing so you can 1 day actually MAKE the sort of cartoons that you want to see. And I don’t want to hear stuff like “That’s too expensive” or “That takes too much time” or “It’s not the same as watching them on TV”. Stop making excuses. Think of getting to see these shows again as a drug or a bottle of booze: if you want your fix badly enough, you’ll find some way to get it. If you had your own kick-ass cartoon collection on DVD or streaming video, then it wouldn’t matter what these channels do. Ultimately, it comes down to ‘just how bad do you want it?’

It seems to me that being proactive and doing something is better than just sitting on your duff and hoping that 1 day one these networks will come around to your way of thinking, ’cause that may never happen.