Author silverstar

G4: Requiem for What Was and What Could Have Been

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Happy New Year, folks! My first blog entry of 2011. Huzzah!

But does G4 know it’s New Year’s at all?

I honestly wouldn’t know; I haven’t been receiving the channel in going on 3 months now.

As those who follow the TV trades know, in November 2010, DirecTV dropped the G4 channel from its’ lineup, and months later it was reported that “people haven’t been clamoring to get it back”. This comes as a surprise to no one. Least of all me.

Do I miss G4? It depends on which G4 we’re talking about.

THIS G4….

…can go plug a hole, but THIS G4…

…I do miss. Sadly, the good G4 died a long time ago.

I was first exposed to G4 (did you know that the channel’s names stands for Games, Gear, Gadgets and Gigabytes–4G’s = G4? Well now you do) back in the early ’00s, back when I had Comcast Cablevision. It started out as one of those channels that we would only get ‘special previews’ of on Saturdays through early Mondays. We didn’t get the channel full-time until later. It was a novel concept: TV for video gamers. Not the easiest demographic to cater to; it’s notoriously hard to program palpable TV shows for gamers for the simple fact that most hardcore gamers are usually too busy playing video games to watch TV. But early G4 admittedly did it well. G4TV.com, Reviews on the Run (known as Judgment Day in the US), Portal, Filter (starring the magically babe-licious Diane Mizota), Cinematech and Icons never failed to entertain.

But then Comcast wronged us. Screwed us in a rather royal way. Frankly, I’ll never forgive them for taking this away from me.

Ah, TechTV. I’m not going to lie to you: as a certified 5-star geek, I loved me some TechTV. The Screen Savers, Call for Help, early X-Play, Eye Drops, Anime Unleashed (I’m not what you’d call the premier anime fan but I do like some anime titles; AU was my first ever exposure to Silent Mobius, which I enjoyed–any show about a team of psychics who are all pretty young women gets my attention)…good times, man, good times. Eventually, Comcast added G4 to its’ roster full-time, so we could watch both channels. And the skies were ripe with love.

Then came the treachery.

One day, Comcast (the owners of G4) decided that they wanted one of TechTV’s staple shows, X-Play. G4 already had a video game review show of their own, Reviews on the Run/Judgment Day, which was 10 times better and more concise when it came to the actual reviews, but the early X-Play was pretty entertaining. While Comcast could’ve just bought the broadcasting rights to X-Play and simply moved the show over to G4, they instead opted to go about their acquisition in a really sinister and ugly way. Comcast got an idea. A wonderfully awful idea.

They announced that G4 and TechTV were going to be merging into 1 giant super-channel called G4TECHTV.

I, like many viewers, was thrilled. G4 (at the time) and TechTV were both great channels. So putting them together should have been the Holy Grail for nerds everywhere. But sadly, this “merger” was just a smokescreen; a diabolical plot by G4 to get their talons on X-Play. After acquiring TechTV, Comcast began systematically destroying the channel from the inside. The TechTV shows started getting picked off one by one, until all that remained of TechTV was X-Play, the 1 show that Comcast wanted in the wanted in the first place. You wanted X-Play, Comcast? Fine, but did you really have to off an entire channel just to get it?!

But the beast wasn’t finished its’ meal yet. After devouring TechTV, in fairly short order G4 began dining on itself. In order to attract a wider range of viewers than just pasty-faced nerds, the Powers That Be decided that G4 should be transformed into Spike TV’s little brother. Suddenly all of the female hosts of Electric Playground starting dressing really trampy, Cinematech, Portal, Judgment Day and Arena disappeared, Icons stopped focusing on game-related figures and began making shows about people who didn’t have squadoosh to do with video games like Mark Echo and faux lesbian pop schoolgirl duo Tatu, Filter went from showing top 10 lists about video game related topics like “Top 10 Baddest Game Bosses” to oddball lists concocted by frat boys who have clearly never heard of round numbers (“the Top 17 Greatest Places to Party and Get Drunk In”) and the lovely Diane Mizota disappeared and in her place was Howard Stern’s bleach blond squeeze (the less said about the Beth O. Filter shows, the better). Shows like Cops, Cheaters, The Man Show and other 1-step-above public access programs which weren’t fit to air on TruTV began cropping up. The worst fate of all went to The Screen Savers, one of my all-time favorite shows on the network, which got ground through the meat grinder and mutated into Attack of the Show!, a show about nothing in particular which may have been mildly entertaining were it not for its’ over-enthusiastic studio audience of hoot-owls and its’ extremely smarmy hosts: Kevin Pierera (a mildly amusing guy who believes himself to be a Humor God) and Olivia Munn (a mildly attractive woman who seems to be under the impression that she is Teh Hotness. (You’re 1/16 Asian, Olivia. Get over yourself.) Recently Munn departed Attack to work on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, small parts in movies and is also apparently going to star in an NBC midseason replacement sitcom called Perfect Couples, which looks perfectly crappy. I’ve heard that recently the show has finally accepted that Munn isn’t coming back and gotten a permanent replacement hostess for AotS; but since I stopped receiving G4 by this time, I don’t know who she is or how well she’s doing.

So this G4 I don’t miss at all. The current G4 has absolutely nothing going for it except for X-Play (which is currently a dismal shadow of its’ former self), Ninja Warrior, Web Soup, Attack of the Show! (which I’ve never personally been into, but friends have told that it’s one of G4’s few bright spots) and its’ annual E3 coverage, none of which is enough to sustain it on a 24/7 basis. Even G4’s Canadian equivalent, which used to be the better G4, is now showing [adult swim] type shows and outdoor-themed programs instead of gamer/tech shows. Ironically, Spike TV, the channel which the current is trying so hard to emulate, is started to show more video game themed programming.

And somewhere out there, Leo Laporte, Partick Norton and Chris Perillo are laughing their heads off.

The Art of Projection

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What an incredible organ the human mind is.

The mind is so powerful that it is able to create alternate universes and allow its’ user to fully believe that they reside in said universe instead of the real one.

This practice is called projection.

The dictionary defines projection as “the tendency to ascribe to another’s feelings, thoughts or attitudes present in oneself, or to regard external reality as embodying such feelings, thoughts, etc., in some way.” In the internet pop culture sense, it means the art of formulating some well-honed opinion, belief or ideal in one’s head and having such a passion and fervor for said belief system that one starts to believe in said formulation as concrete fact rather than mere opinion.

In my travels through Cyberville, I’ve encountered some truly unique and interesting projections. They’re not true, but boy are they colorful. Listed below are 6 of the more deadening, popular or jarring projections that I’ve heard over the years, with a handy little debunking of each:

PROJECTION #1: “Disney’s acquisition of Marvel, as well as their current wave of tweencoms, are an abomination of the Disney name and brand. Walt would not approve of this, nor would he allow this if he were alive today.”

REALITY: This is nothing more than opinion. The truth is that while we may not like what Disney is doing currently, the bigwigs at Disney don’t care about our gripes, because they’re raking in the money. The Mouse House is just as popular and profitable right now as it’s ever been, so they don’t view what they’re doing as a failure or an abomination of any kind.

As for “Walt wouldn’t do this/Walt is doing cartwheels in his grave over this” rhetoric, people need to keep in mind that the Disney corporation is a business. Yes, it’s a business. Some folks may want to believe that Walt was just a jolly old benevolent soul who lived in a gingerbread and lollipop factory with his crew of happy little elves, making cartoons and dreams to make children smile and would have done so for free, the truth is that Walt was a businessman. He was as much a capitalist as anyone else. He wanted to make money, and he would’ve had no problem with Disney’s current practices. And why would he? The Mouse House isn’t doing anything different than any other major conglomerate.

When Disney bought Marvel last year, so many people starting running around like chickens with their heads cut off, crying that the sky was falling and the seas were going to turn into fire. I don’t get why so many people are having conniptions over Disney’s acquisition of Marvel when Warner Bros. has owned the rights to DC Comics’ properties for years now, and no one bats an eyelash over that. Disney acquired Marvel in order to capture the preteen boy demographic that they so desperately desire (this is also why Toon Disney was transformed into Disney Close-Eyed Grin (XD)), and they’ve stated quite tellingly that they wouldn’t be interfering with any of Marvel’s productions. Does anybody really think that this means that Mickey, Donald and Goofy will be joining the Avengers or that Peter Parker is going to start hitting up the Disney Princesses for some digits now that he’s on the rebound thanks to Joe Quesada? I think not.

Regarding Disney’s acquisition of the Muppets: would it be better if Disney had left the Muppets where they were before? In the hands of some unknown German company collecting dust in some closet? At least Disney is trying to give the Muppets some exposure and is willing to actually do something with them. (If only they would start giving a crud about the Fox Kids properties that they’re just sitting on right now.)

As for the tweencoms, does anybody remember Tim Consadine? Annette Funicello? Spin and Marty? Merlin Jones? Hayley Mills? They were the Miley Cyurses, Demi Lovatos, Ashley Tisdales and Dylan and Cole Sprouces of their day. The notion that “Walt wouldn’t allow tweencoms under his rule” is a complete and total load. Even Kurt Russel starred in Disney movies as a teenager. There have always been Disney teen stars, and there will always be Disney teen stars. Get over it.

PROJECTION #2: “Behind-the-scenes politics and/or poor scheduling is what caused my favorite show to get canceled. The network is mean; they had it in for my favorite show all along and they didn’t give it a chance.”

REALITY: I’ve read this on so many message boards that’s it not even funny. OK, maybe it’s a little funny, because it’s so far-fetched and paranoid. To name just one example: I’ve heard tons of conspiracy theories regarding why Cartoon Network US dumped HiHi Puffy AmiYumi. They range from “Cartoon Network hates girls” to “Someone at Cartoon Network is prejudiced against the nation of Japan” to my favorite, “It was killed by Andre Benjamin, who’s obviously a gangster because he played a gangster in the movie Four Brothers and clearly worked behind the scenes to kill HiHI so he could get his show, Class of 3000, on the air in its’ place”. I kid you not.

Here’s the real reason that HHPAY was removed from CN: its’ ratings were terrible and CN took it off, then washed their hands of the show. That’s it. “But I read comments on YouTube that the show is more popular than what’s on Cartoon Network right now!” And we all know how credible YouTube comments are; if some shmoe on YouTube said it, it must be true.

Reality check time: Nobody launches or buys a show hoping that it will fail. If a network really had it in for a particular show, they wouldn’t bother buying it or getting it made in the first place. People will tell you (and tell you and tell you) that there’s some deep-seeded conspiracy going on when their favorite show goes away, or that network execs are just evil meanies in black cloaks, who twirl their mustaches and chuckle in malevolent glee as they randomly drop the ax on our favorite shows, just to make the kids cry. Did it ever occur to these people that the show you liked just didn’t get the ratings that the network wanted, and that’s why it was taken off?

PROJECTION #3: “Boomerang stays the way it is because they have a real commitment to the classics, conversely Nicktoons changed because they lost sight of their goal to only run classic Nicktoons.”

REALITY: No. Boomerang hasn’t made any major changes to its’ programming in going on 10 years because they have no real commitment to the channel.

Boomerang doesn’t exist because Turner or Cartoon Network have some passionate devotion to keeping classic cartoons alive. You want to know the real reason why the Boomerang channel was created? Here it is: Boomerang (the channel) was created because the suits at Cartoon Network wanted the really old shows off of the channel in order to make more room for their newer shows and acquisitions. CN wasn’t making a lot of money as the Hanna-Barbera Reruns Channel and they wanted to expand on their original productions and latter-day acquisitions, which were actually bringing them money. But they knew that some nostalgia-loving purists would complain if they just dropped the old-school toons altogether, so someone said, “OK, we’ll create this bonus tier digital ‘trash’ network that will loop the classic cartoons ad nausea, and those who wish to have this channel will have to pay an additional fee in order to receive it, so it’ll still make us money even though advertisers won’t go near it.” That’s why. All of that business about Boomerang being the “home for classic cartoons”? That’s just smoke concocted by the PR department to get people to subscribe to the channel. Boomerang, for all intents and purposes, is basically Cartoon Network’s recycle bin.

Nicktoons changed because it too wasn’t making a lot of money as an ad-free channel that ran nothing but old 90’s Nicktoons, so they altered their schedule accordingly. If the all old-school format were working and was profitable, then they wouldn’t have changed it in the first place. Nicktoons changed because it’s parent company Viacom actually cared enough about the channel to turn it into something profitable. (If only they cared enough about its’ now grown-up fans to give us proper DVD releases of its’ classic Nicktoons….) Boomerang stays the way it is because its’ parents don’t care about it.

As for the notion that “Boomerang has a real commitment to showing classic cartoons”: remember back in late 2005 to early 2006, when the channel began airing shows like Krypto the Superdog, Gerald McBoing-Boing, Baby Looney Tunes and The Mr. Men Show? Ever wonder why Boom just started randomly showing preschool shows on the channel? Well, in 2006, Turner was considering launching a preschool channel to compete with the likes of Nick Jr. and PBS Sprout. (Note that over at CN, a preschool block called Tickle U was running there at the same time.) All of this was a test-run; had Tickle U been a success on CN, Turner would’ve changed Boomerang into this proposed preschool channel. The plans were scrapped only after the Tickle U shows failed to capture an audience and bring in ratings. Had the preschool block been successful, Boomerang viewers be watching the Tickle U channel right now. So much for “commitment to the classics.” It’s all about the dollars, baby. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Tickle U
A glimpse of a future that nearly happened. We dodged a bullet and didn’t even know it.

PROJECTION #4: “The recent Looney Tunes marathons should have aired on Boomerang instead of Cartoon Network, because the Looney Tunes have outgrown CN.”

REALITY: If that were true, then why is Warner Bros developing a new Looney Tunes series, The Looney Tunes Show, for Cartoon Network? Answer: because it isn’t true. At all.

Since the point of the Looney Tunes marathons was to earn ratings and generate new interest in the Looney Tunes, it wouldn’t have made any sense for the Looney Tunes marathons to air on a digital extra channel that hardly anyone gets. Ideally, the Looney Tunes should be airing on both networks, but from a business standpoint, it makes much more sense for the Looney Tunes to be airing on Cartoon Network as opposed to Boomerang.

The Looney Tunes are timeless. There always will be (and should be) a place for them on Cartoon Network. Scooby-Doo and Tom & Jerry have been on CN since day 1, and there’s no reason why Looney Tunes can’t do the same. In fact, there’s only 1 (and I should stress ONLY 1) reason why they don’t: because the Looney Tunes are property of Warner Bros. and as such, the Turner half of the Turner/Time-Warner partnership has to pay the Warner half fees in order to run anything WB owned. Otherwise you’d be seeing Bugs, Daffy, Taz and the gang on CN just as much and as often as Tom, Jerry and Scooby. Believe it.

PROJECTION #5: If Ted Turner were still running Cartoon Network, things would a whole lot better on the channel than they are now. If Ted were in charge again, the Cartoon-Cartoons and Toonami would come back to CN.”

REALITY: First off, let’s fact facts here: Ted isn’t coming back. He couldn’t buy Cartoon Network back now even if he wanted to. The going price for the channel is too rich even for his blood. Second, people need to stop crediting Ted Turner for all of the things that they remember fondly about CN during the mid-to-late 90s to early 00s. Ted wasn’t responsible for the Cartoon-Cartoons or Toonami. Let’s give credit where credit is due here: the “What-A-Cartoon!” project, which led to the Cartoon-Cartoons, was the brainchild of Fred Siebert, not Ted; Toonami was created by Sean Akins and Jason DeMarco, Ted had nothing to do with either of those favorites. So let’s not delude ourselves into thinking that if Ted were to suddenly re-assume the throne of Cartoon Network, that the channel would magically transform into a 90’s nostalgia paradise which shows nothing but Cartoon-Cartoons and anime all day. If you want to know what Cartoon Network would be like under Ted’s command, just look at Boomerang. That’s how it would be, except that we’d be seeing a lot more of this guy…

“Protect the environment, or I’ll @#%!ing kill you! CAPTAIN PLANET!!!”
*********************************
PROJECTION #6: “I don’t watch cartoons, I only watch anime. Anime and action shows like Batman: The Animated Series aren’t cartoons.”

REALITY: This one’s easy to debunk. If something is drawn and animated, then it’s a cartoon, regardless of what country it comes from or what genre it embodies. Many of the people who want to claim that anime and action animated series are something separate from cartoons tend to be teens and young adults who don’t wish to be branded “immature” by admitting that they like cartoons. But you are watching cartoons. It’s simple, this

Batman_the_Animated_Series_logo
..and this

…are just as much cartoons as this

YOGI---BOOBOO

..and this.

Got it? Good. Deal with it.

BOOMERAMI??? Nah.

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Here we are, folks, 8 months into 2010. Can you believe that’s it’s been 2 years since Toonami ended? The only thing I have a harder time believing is the number of people who still need grief counseling about Toonami’s ending and those who are still clinging on to the hopes that the block will one day be resurrected somewhere, anywhere.

A few weeks ago I was involved in a conversation about this very subject; when it was mentioned that Cartoon Network has no plans to resurrect Toonami and the block’s stint on CN is indeed over, some helpful optimist piped in with this query:

“Why dosen’t CN rebrand Boomeraction into Toonami? It would work perfectly. The point of Boomerang is to bring back shows people loved so why not air Toonami ? I am suggesting they just show all of the old shows that aired on Toonami, all of the anime, all of the shows that aired on Cartoon Roulette, kind of like Toonami Retro.”

Yeah.

Yeah!

YEAH!

Yeah, that’s not happening.

Now, before you all get ready to pelt me with rotten fruit, let me just say that I don’t think a Toonami on Boomerang is a terrible idea. I’ve been saying for a while now that Boomerang needs a shot in the arm to revive it from its’ current zombified state. But let’s be real here: Unless someone decides to revamp the entire channel, a Toonami on Boomerang is not going to happen.

Why? Let’s break it down, shall we?

1. Such an endeavor would be expensive.

As always in life, it’s all about the Benjamins. The thing some people tend to forget is that Toonami wasn’t a show, but a programming block. And most of the shows which aired on said block were licensed 3rd party acquisitions, meaning that Cartoon Network had to pay licensees fees for the rights to air the shows which aired on the block. The other thing that these same people tend to forget is that Turner has since let the broadcasting rights to most of Toonami’s signature shows expire, so Boom can’t have a Toonami that runs every show that used to air on Cartoon Network’s Toonami, because CN has since lost the broadcasting rights to most of those shows. A Toonami on Boomerang would have to do without the following:

Sailor Moon=no.
Robotech=no.
ReBoot=no.
Ronin Warriors=no.
G-Force=no.
Gundam=no.
Tenchi Muyo!=no
Blue Submarine=no.
Outlaw Star=no.
Big O=no.
Cardcaptors=no.
Dragon Ball/Z=no.
Hamtaro=no.
Zoids=no.
.hack=no.
Evangelion=no.
Yu Yu Hakusho=no.
Jackie Chan Adventures=no.
Fantastic Four: WGH=no.

Cartoon Network does not currently have the broadcasting rights to air any of these shows, and they’re not going to pay to re-acquire them for Boomerang. Why not? This brings us to point #2:

2. Boomerang is a far cry from what Toonami was.

Boomerang, in addition to aiming itself at an older audience demographic than Toonami’s target audience, the channel has far less viewers than CN and it’s also an ad-free, bonus tier package afterthought to Turner. Cartoon Network re-acquiring the licenses and reviving a dead brand name for a tiny extra tier channel with such a small viewership which is only in a handful of homes would be a waste of money, especially since The Powers That Be would need to know that they would receive the ratings to justify the higher cost to advertisers (which Boomerang doesn’t have because it’s ad-free), which would in turn fund the block.

It’s a simple equation, folks: Viewers=Money=Acquisitions. And Boomerang just doesn’t have enough viewers to sustain something like a Toonami style block.

3. Turner has no interest in establishing an action brand on Boomerang.

Ever since Turner dissolved Boom’s original scheduling format in 2005 (yearly features on Saturday, “Boomeraction” all-day Sunday), Boomeraction has just been looping the same shows like Swat Kats and Thundarr over and over again. Turner wouldn’t stand to gain anything by acquiring anything resembling Toonami on Boom, least of all a new action block. the last time Boom aired any new action cartoon was when they acquired Battle of the Planets in 2004; the ratings for BotP were terrible and the series was yanked off the schedule after just 5 months. Since then, Boom has basically shyed away from any exclusive action properties (save for Voltron, Justice League/Unlimited and The Batman, which were all leftovers from CN, Kids’ WB! and [adult swim], respectively), and also currently Turner wants nothing to do with shonen, non-toy based anime outside of [as].

4. The Toonami brand name is kaput.

Look, I know this is a hard thing to come to terms with, but it’s the truth. The Toonami branding is as dead as a kipper on a cracker. Networks very seldom, if ever, resurrect old brands and blocks; TV is a business, and in order for any business to succeed, they must keep moving forward, not constantly look back.

What would be the point of moving the Toonami brand to a digital tier only channel that almost no one gets? Answer: No point whatsoever. If Turner wanted to relaunch Toonami, it would make more sense for them to do it on Cartoon Network, not on Boomerang. CN is many more homes than Boom is and Boom is ad free and therefore is not interested in ratings. Furthermore, if Turner wanted to resurrect Toonami, they would do it. CN owns Toonami, lock, stock and barrel. There’d be nothing stopping them, but they don’t want to resurrect Toonami. They have no reason to. CN could easily be airing Toonami wraparounds during it’s current action cartoon block right now as I type, but they aren’t, and it’s very, very unlikely that they ever will, as networks seldom (if ever) re-launch program blocks once they’ve been put to an end, and I doubt that CN would go through the trouble of ending Toonami just to bring it back 2 years later.

Do we not remember how bad Toonami was in its’ last years? It wouldn’t be any any better on Boomerang. If Boomeraction were to rebrand itself as Toonami, there would be no new action cartoons or any action anime. Turner can only air the shows they own, and currently all they have available to them are the shows which currently run on Boomeraction now. Toonami on Boomerang would literally be nothing more than Boomeraction with a different name and different bumps. Do fans really miss Toonami so much that they’d even be willing to accept a fake Toonami?

I know that I’m probably going to catch a ton of flack for this entry, but people need to come to terms with things the way they are. I enjoyed Toonami in its’ heyday just like most of you, but now that it’s over, I can accept that it’s gone.

I say your best bet is to cherish your memories of Toonami and hope for good things in the future, ’cause a Toonami Retro block on Boomerang just isn’t going to happen.

Hero: 108 – Mediocrity With an Eastern Flavor

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Once upon a time in the Hidden Kingdom, humans and animals lived together in peace and harmony. All was utterly copacetic…until a game-loving but arrogant tool of a court jester named High Roller made the mistake of insulting the former Emperor of the Hidden Kingdom and was immediately banished from the great East Citadel. For a time, he wandered alone in the forest, his temperament worsening and his hatred for humans increasing by the minute. As fate would have it, he was struck by lightning, thereby gaining the ability to speak the language of animals.High Roller soon discovered the animals’ great weakness for candy (Come on now, who can resist a good Reese’s cup?) and bribed them with sweets, lying to them and convincing the animals that humans were their enemies. In short order, many animals joined his cause and helped kick humans out of their homes and castles. Now animal kings and queens must pay homage to High Roller, who is now the new Emperor of the East Citadel, and do his bidding. Many humans live in fear of his legions of thuggish animal soldiers. But there is hope, as a band of 108 heroes have banded together to form a rebel force. Led by Commander ApeTrully and with such colorful squad members as Lin Chung, a stoic and skilled sharpshooter possessing the legendary Panther Vision and the soul of an artist, Jumpy Ghostface (sounds like the worst rap name ever!), aka the Rabbit King, a rabbit warrior in whose hands a simple jumprope becomes a dangerous weapon, Mystique Sonia, a mystic-flavored warrior and total girly-girl, Mighty Ray, a loud, brash, simplistic and arrogant muscleman with the ability to fire beams of lightning from his eyes, and Mr. No Hands, the seemingly limbless military commander, this team of heroes live in a giant abandoned turtle shell called ‘Big Green’ and fight High Roller and his forces to protect the humans and restore peace to the Hidden Kingdom.

Does that sound like a kick-ass show? Well, prepare to be surprised.

Hero: 108 is a new animated series which airs on Cartoon Network. It arrived on Toon with absolutely zero promotion by the network (as opposed to Adventure Time, which has been receiving on-air promos as far back as January). I thought that this wasn’t fair at first, but after watching Hero: 108 for 2 weeks, I can understand why Toon is being so close-mouthed about the show.

It’s not as though Hero: 108 is an outright terrible show; it’s really not outstandingly bad, the problem is that it’s not outstandingly good, either. There are some decent elements to the series: I love the show’s setting: it’s lush and ripe with Eastern mysticism and mythology, and some of the characters have their own odd little quirks and back stories which could make for interesting material (for example, Mystique Sonia has a spell on her that causes any male who says “I love you” to her 3 times in a row to transform into a yaksha–that’s the little pink cat-thingy on her head, BTW; Mighty Ray’s lightning-like eye beams are fueled by bananas, a food he just happens to hate; Mr. No Hands, in fact, has hands, but he keeps them locked in constraints because he apparently can’t control them–when his hands are free, he can’t stop tickling himself uncontrollably–creepy!; and Big Green’s leader ApeTrully, though he resembles a cardboard box man, is in fact in disguise–he’s actually a monkey, specifically, he’s the 33rd Monkey King–nevermind that monkeys technically aren’t apes, but he opts to keep his true identity a secret since he doesn’t think his followers would willingly follow a simian leader), but unfortunately the show rarely, if ever, takes advantage of these little quirks nor are they mined for any kind of real potential.

The show also suffers from a repetitive “wash, rinse, repeat” story structure: Typically, an episode goes like this: some fill-in-the-blank animal kingdom is persecuting or enslaving humans. ApeTrully arrives on the scene to mend fences (usually bringing gold in tow). ApeTrully’s attempt at diplomacy is rebuffed and he gets captured. First Squad (our heroes) are called in and engage in some mild battles and by-play. Said animal king (or queen) challenges he squad to some sort of contest. Heroes face adversity and triumph. Fill-in-the-blank animal kingdom gains newfound respect for humans and joins the cause of Big Green. Wash, rinse, repeat. Occasionally, a curve ball will be thrown (the heroes fail to reform the Eagles in “Eagle Castle”) but changes to the formula are few and far between.

Hero: 108 also gives people like me who live to categorize placement trouble: it’s not funny enough to be a comedy, it’s not hardcore enough to be an action show. What is it?

Hero: 108 is an ambitious idea, which unfortunately, is the epitome of average. It’s just entertaining enough that one can sit through it for a half-hour and not complain (much), but it has the potential to be so much more. If the writing and execution were just a few notches higher, then this could be something noteworthy. Somewhere, buried amongst all that mediocrity, there’s a brilliant series waiting to bust out.

About Us

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Hi. Damon here. You may know me better as Silverstar.

My twin brother Jason and I have been participating on various message boards throughout the years. While it’s been fun sometimes, the road has occasionally been a little rocky; we sometimes cause a little controversy with our views and opinions, and we’ve each had various run-ins with moderators and other posters.

Which brings us here. This is Astral City, our own blog. After running amok on the boards for so long, we figured that a blog might be a little better suited for our purposes; can’t get suspended or banned from your own blog, after all.

We’re still moving in here; the place is kind of au natural right now, but bear with us. In the days, weeks and months to come, there will be reviews, rants, critiques, words of wisdom, points to ponder and crazy opinions. Who knows? Maybe we can even have a little fun.

Stay tuned.