Page 114 of 127

Justice League, The Movie, The Dream Casting

goldstar 1 Comment

One reason why I’m pumped for the premiere of the new Superman movie Man of Steel on June 14th, aside from the fact that I’m a major Superman fan, is that if Man of Steel does well at the box office, then it will kick open the door for the long awaited and long speculated Justice League movie, which has been talked about as early as 2000 and it’s production has been pushed back until (???).

Justice_League_Logo_(Earth-2992)

Many fans have different ideas about what the JL film should be like, who should be in it, what the plot will be, who the movie’s big-bad will be etc., and here at Twinsanity, it’s no exception. Since it’s going to be a little while before the JL movie comes out, I thought that I would share some of my choices for the casting of the JL movie. But first, a disclaimer:

The following is nothing more than my own choices and speculations. None of this is canon, nor is it a given that any of my choices will end up in the film. As far as I know, there isn’t even a written script for the movie as of this writing.

Now that that’s out of the way, on to the dream casting. To get the ball rolling, as it were, Let’s start with the lineup. As far as the team roster goes, I’m guessing that the JL movie will deal with the League first being formed, so then there will be about 6 or 7 main characters initially. There can’t and shouldn’t be a Justice League Army in the 1st movie. The Avengers‘ producers had a hard enough time trying to juggle screen time between 6 central characters (8 if one counts Loki and Nick Fury). Keep in mind that there’s only 90 minutes to 2 hours and you still need to have a story, an establishment of the main characters, a reason why they’re brought together and some sort of of conflict/crisis for them to resolve. To have to deal with all of those actors and egos and try to keep everyone’s parts equal would be a writing and directing nightmare, so the main group should be kept relatively small. I think that it’s a given that The Trinity will be featured in the film. No one wants to see a JL movie without Superman, Batman or Wonder Woman. No one. If people who’ve been waiting for over a decade to see a big budget movie about the Justice League and when it finally happened, what we got was this:

Fans would justifiably be ticked. If I have to wait 13 years for a Justice League movie, it had better not end up being about a bunch of “jobbers”. So yeah, you need Supes, Bats and Wondy. So that’s 3 slots taken right there.
It’s also likely that the movie will feature The Flash and a Green Lantern, who’ll most likely be Hal Jordan (but probably not one who’s played by Ryan Reynolds, who said that he’s not interested in reprising the role). The only reason to cast John Stewart over Hal Jordan would be for racial balance, but there other solutions to that, which I’ll address in a little bit. So anyway, that’s 2 more slots taken. Who else should be cast as part of the team?
Aquaman: I’m actually kind of iffy on this character’s inclusion, but the reason isn’t because I think that Aquaman is lame. Aquaman is NOT lame. The character was only shown as being impotent due to his being massively toned down on Hanna-Barbera’s Super Friends TV show, and that was over 30 years ago. It’s time to let that joke die once and for all. Aquaman is King of the Sea, and the Earth is 71% water, which would mean that Aquaman is King of 71% of the planet. Arthur is also half wizard, so it would be easy to give his abilities a little boost, such as giving the character some kick-ass hydrokinetic powers. No, the reason why I’d be reluctant to use Aquaman is because he has an entire undersea kingdom to rule over, so it would present a challenge to the movie’s writers to try have the main plot revolve around the ocean in order to accommodate him.
Black Canary: No. I have nothing against Dinah Drake, but in the wake of The Avengers, using her probably wouldn’t be a good idea, since people unfamiliar with the DC comics would likely just consider her to be a ripoff of Black Widow. If BC appears at all, it should be in one of the sequels.
Green Arrow: Again, no. I mean no offense to any fans of Ollie Queen, but here it is: I’ve never been down with the idea of Green Arrow and Batman being on the same team. The Justice League doesn’t need 2 rich guys with high tech toys in place of super powers. And again, fans unfamiliar with the comics would just see GA as a Hawkeye ripoff, so it’s probably best if GA sits this one out.
Hawkman and Hawkgirl/Hawkwoman: No. I have nothing against these characters, but since the movie isn’t going to be a continuation of the WBA cartoon, we’re not going to see Shayera romancing John Stewart, and I don’t want to see Hawkwoman in the movie without her husband Hawkman, so it’s best to just avoid using both characters, as this would just be excess baggage.
We still need an ethnic, as we don’t want the JL roster to be nothing but Caucasians. As I said earlier the GL featured will most likely be Hal Jordan, so no John Stewart, but there are other choices for non-white Justice League members:
  • Use Cyborg. In the most recent reboot of the DC universe, Victor Stone is one of the founding members of the League, so why not go with him?
  • Use Martian Manhunter. Yeah, I know that J’onn J’onzz is a Martian, and that in the DC universe, Martians are green, but they’re also shapeshifters, so then J’onn could just spend much of the movie in his morphed human alias John Jones. I envision Martian Manhunter as being a CGI creation while in his Martian form while being played by an actor while in human form. Make J’onn’s human form that of a black man and that’ll solve this problem.
  • Years ago, someone on the internet suggested that singer/actress Jennifer Hudson could play Wonder Woman. Now, I’d be perfectly OK with an African American Diana Prince. I know that some hardcore comic fans would have a nerd rage over such a decision, but I’ve read that an African American actor is being considered for the role of the Human Torch in the upcoming Fantastic Four reboot, so why not have a black Wonder Woman? Let’s briefly review Wondy’s origin, shall we: Diana is an Amazon from the far off island of Themescara. She was sculpted out of clay by her mother Hippolyta, the queen of the Amazons, and was magically brought to life by the Greek goddess Hera. Nowhere in that bio does it specify that Wondy has to be white, so if someone wants to cast a black actress as Wonder Woman, it’s perfectly OK with me.

No sidekicks: Sorry, fans, but if the JL movie is going to be about the formation of the League, teen sidekicks would just be in the way. No sidekicks should show up until at least the 2nd or 3rd movie in the franchise.

Here’s my ideal scheduling of the DC films leading up to Justice League:

  • Man of Steel
  • Wonder Woman
  • Man of Steel sequel
  • The Flash
  • Superman/Batman Team-Up
  • Justice League
Only thing is this would likely push the release of Justice League back to 2016 or 2017, but if the preceding movies were good, it would be worth the wait.
Finally, there’s the question of who the movie’s villain should be. Initially, I was going to suggest Darksied, but he’s kind of a big deal. You may not want to launch the JL film with the League going up against Darkseid. It might be better to lead up to him over 2 or 3 films. Instead, the 1st JL movie could have the League squaring off against someone like Starro the Conqueror of Dr. Destiny. Perhaps the villain should be Lex Luthor or the Joker, or perhaps the 2 of them forming a temporary alliance. Or possibly a team-up of Lex and Brainiac or something similar. Or perhaps an invasion of the White Martians. I know that I’ve mostly been suggesting Superman villains here, but that’s mainly because aside from the Joker or Ra’s Al Ghoul, most of the Batman villains are freaks and weirdos with a gimmick who’d get their butts handed to them by the Justice League. The movie would go much better if evil at least stood a chance.
OK, that’s enough geek rambling from me.

Pac Preview Party

silverstar Leave a comment

Have you still not recovered from that case of Pac-Man Fever you contracted in 1980? Have you been wishing for someone to make a new Pac-Man cartoon show for the 21st century? Well, thankfully, someone did. Introducing Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures.

Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures (formerly known as Pac-Man: The Adventure Begins and Pac is Back — the show hasn’t even premiered yet and it’s already on its’ third title) is a computer-animated television series in production for Disney X-D, which was originally planned for Nickelodeon.
The series is slated to debut on June 17, 2013. The show is being produced by Marvel’s Avi Arad. Originally planned for 2012, the series features Pac-Man saving the world while attending high school. 26 episodes have been ordered. The series will be presented in stereoscopic 3D. There are 26 episodes planned, and an upcoming video game based on the series is set to be released on PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U, Nintendo 3DS, and PC.
I can’t review this show since it hasn’t debuted yet; however, I can give you the basic overview:
Thousands of years ago, Pac-World was a place of peace and harmony, until traitors tried to take over Pac-World. They were defeated and deprived of their physical bodies and exiled to the Netherworld. Now they have escaped in the form of mischievous ghosts and other horrible monsters who are determined to regain physical bodies and take over Pac-World. Now it is up to Pac-Man, a slow-witted teenage slacker with a voracious appetite, and his friends to restore peace to Pac-World. The show’s main villain is a new antagonist called Betrayus, who commands countless types of ghosts. The show also has Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde, who work as Double Agents. Pac is your average teenage PacWorlder, except for two things:
  •  He’s a little rounder than most of his fellow citizens.
  •  He and his family happen to be the only YELLOW PacWorlders on the planet.
Beyond that, you’d hardly be able to pick him out of a crowd. That being said, since he’s yellow, he’s fairly easy to spot.
Pac is an upbeat gung-ho teenager and his enthusiasm can occasionally get the best of him.  When he’s “on a roll”, which is often, he goes rolling around school and around town at a pretty good clip, and he’s been known to crash, bump, slam and bounce into things on a regular basis.
Pac is a conscientious kid and not like many of his peers who spend their days chasing the latest fads or coveting the newest high-tech gadgets. The fact is, he wants more than that out of life.
Pac wants to make the world a better place and have fun doing it.  He wants to know why things are the way they are and when things aren’t working right, he wants to figure out a way to fix them.
In order to combat the ghostly menaces, our hero Pac is given a new breed of power pellets. The power pellets not only give Pac-Man the capability to chomp ghosts with ease (otherwise, he gets full fast) but they also give him other powers such as flight, size growth and underwater breathing.
In 2009, while the series was still being called Pac is Back, a trailer for the new show was released at that yea’s E3 convention. Here it is for your viewing pleasure (apologies for the somewhat blurry images; this trailer is in 3D):

Of course, as with any new update or revival series based on an existing franchise, with this trailer comes the usual hissy-tantrums from naysayers who are calling Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures a disgrace and an abomination and blah blah blah, wit the rallying cry of that beyond-tired internet meme “They Ruined My Childhood!”. No, No, NO! Pac-Man can’t be a teenager! The ghosts can’t be his friends! A Pac-Man show can’t be in CGI! This is not the Pac-Man cartoon I grew up with! EPIC FAILS!!!!111″

Really.

It’s just a new Pac-Man cartoon. Relax a little.

It’s different, yeah, but different doesn’t always instantly mean worse, just different. I can’t say how I feel about Pac being made into a teenager for this show yet, since I haven’t seen the idea in execution yet. The producers could’ve made Pac-Man a married husband and father like in previous incarnations, but I guess they felt that kids would have an easier time relating to the character if he were like them, a kid. Nowadays kid-vid producers don’t want to make kid shows starring adults unless they’re something extraordinary like secret agents, superheroes, aliens or wizards. I just hope that Pac’s being a teen doesn’t mean that the writers will make his high school the show’s principle setting. Pac can be a teenager without all of the show’s action taking place in front of lockers. I’m tired of the high-schoolization of kids’ shows; high school is not the be-all, end-all of human existence. Kids only go to school because they have to; as a kid the last thing I wanted to see after a long drudgery at school when I came home was to watch a bunch of shows about kids going to school.

What boggles my mind is how people are now declaring the Hanna-Barbera Pac-Man cartoon show from 1982 to 1983 to be some sort of classic achievement in animation. Oh, yeah, that old Pac-Man cartoon was sooooooo much better, right? I can’t even watch or think back on that show without grimacing on how messed up the ghosts on that show were. There were never 5 ghosts in the game, and there was never a purple ghost. Clyde should not have been the leader of the Ghost Gang; in the games he was always the slowest ghost. Blinky was the fastest ghost, the first ghost out of the pen and the one who always followed the closest behind Pac-Man, logically Blinky should have been the leader. They shouldn’t have had both Clyde and Sue; Sue was just the name of the orange ghost in Ms. Pac-Man (the orange ghost’s name would be different in each game: in Ms. Pac-Man the orange ghost was named Sue and in Junior Pac-Man the orange ghost was named Tim.) Having 2 ghosts with non-rhyming names ruined the joke. If HB just wanted to have a female ghost, then they could’ve just made Pinky female like so many other forms of Pac-Man merch and memorabilia did. Have people forgotten how cheesy and one-note that 1982 cartoon was?? But that’s the thing about nostalgia: the bad and mediocre stuff gets forgotten, making the past seem better than it actually was.

Given how low the bar has been set for animated adaptations of Pac-Man, I’d say Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures has nowhere to go but up.

There are actually some aspects of Ghostly Adventures that intrigue me: I like the futuristic look of Pac-World, and some of the high-tech gadgets that the Pac Worlders go wild about I kind of want to see, but then I’m a gadget lover myself. I like the bright pretty colors of the various Pac Worlders, and speaking of colors, I’m also curious as to how the idea of Pac being the only yellow Pac Worlder around will play out; it seems like an interesting plot point, and I wonder if there will be an in-universe explanation for it. I can’t say that the story of this show is on par with that of say, Tales of Symphonia or Final Fantasy VII, but come on, this is Pac-Man. We’re talking about an 8-bit video game from 1980 about a yellow circle that runs around a maze eating dots while being pursued by 4 Technicolor ghosts. Just how deep and intricate is the story supposed to get?

I say at least wait until Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures premieres and we’ve seen a few episodes before we declare it a childhood killer and starting calling for it to be killed with fire.

Talkin’ Nerdy: Another Robot Chicken Epic Fail

silverstar Leave a comment

Once again, Twinsanity would like to give the ol’ thumbs down to one of Robot Chicken‘s attempts at “comedy”. While Robot Chicken can be hilarious when they get a good concept, when the show misses the mark it reeeeealy misses the mark. Such is the case with this Avengers skit, entitled “A Critical Component”:

The main “joke” in this sketch is obvious: The RC staff are implying that the 2 non-super powered Avengers, Black Widow and Hawkeye, are weak and useless in relation to the so-called Tier 1 Avengers, Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk and Thor. The thing is, the 18-20 year old me would’ve agreed with this sentiment, but I see this sketch now, especially after having seen The Avengers at least 8 times now, that this skit fails all across the board. First, the obvious technical gripes (WARNING: lots of nerd nitpicking ahead):

  • First, it would seem that no major toy company ever bothered to produce a Black Widow action figure, since Natasha in this skit is just ‘Fantasia’ from RC’s “Beast and the Beauties” skit in a black catsuit.
  • Second, why is Hulk so tiny? In the movie, old Jade Jaws towered over the other team members, as he is supposed to, but here, he’s rail thin and actually looks smaller than the others. RC has a Savage Hulk action figure, so why didn’t they use it here?
  • Third, why was Hawkeye wearing his comic book costume rather than his movie costume? OK, that’s more of a personal nitpick, but I prefer Clint’s movie costume; I always thought his purple mask and cowl costume looked kind of silly, no offense to comic fans.
  • Fourth, what kind of ending was that? Black Widow is killed in battle, and the others are just “eh, whatever” about it?? Not only that, but the circumstances behind her death are ridiculous and illogical, but more on that later. RC has a tendency to get unnecessarily dark, typically ending sketches by killing off characters, etc., since we all know that darker = funnier. And so all of the male Avengers are bi-curious?? What the what?!?

-Now, on to the main reason why this skit fails, namely, this notion that Natasha and Clint are weaklings who serve no purpose on the team other than eye-candy. I know several people who share the belief that these 2 characters are useless; even comedian Bill Maher echoed these thoughts in an episode of HBO’s Real Time. He said, and I quote: “If Thor is a god, then why do we need the other Avengers? I especially don’t see why we need the 2 Avengers whose only powers are a bow and arrow and big (breasts) and a hand gun.” Now, far be it for me to question Bill Maher, but I’m not sure that Black Widow’s only contributions to the Avengers are a pistol and a rack. Let’s examine Black Widow a little closer, shall we?

HELOOOOOOO, NURSE!

That’s not what I meant and you know it, ya horn-dogs! I meant let’s look closer at her SKILL SET.

  • The Black Widow is a world class athlete, gymnast, acrobat, aerialist capable of numerous complex maneuvers and feats, expert martial artist (including karate, judo, ninjutsu, aikido, savate, various styles of kung fu, and boxing), marksman, and weapons specialist as well as having extensive espionage training.
  • She is also an accomplished ballerina.
  • Natasha has received the Red Room’s variant of the Super-Soldier Serum. As a result, her physical and mental abilities had been enhanced slightly beyond human limits.
  • The Black Widow has been enhanced by biotechnology that makes her body resistant to aging and disease and heals at an above human rate; as well as psychological conditioning that suppresses her memory of true events as opposed to implanted ones of the past without the aid of specially designed system suppressant drugs.
  • Due to the Super-Soldier Serum, the white blood cells in her body are efficient enough to fight off any microbe, foreign body and others from her body, keeping her healthy and immune to most, if not all infections, diseases and disorders. Also, it takes quite a bit for Natasha to become intoxicated.
  • Her agility is greater than that of an Olympic gold medalist. She can coordinate her body with balance, flexibility, and dexterity easily.
  • Her bodily tissues have been augmented to superhuman development. She possesses exceptional durability, strength, endurance, and stamina.
  • Natasha’s reaction time is similarly enhanced and functions with the peak of human efficiency and capability, bordering on superhuman level. It is possible for Natasha to dodge a bullet even at point blank range.
  • Natasha has a gifted intellect. She displays an uncanny affinity for psychological manipulation and can mask her real emotions perfectly. Like Steve Rogers, she possesses the ability to quickly process multiple information streams (e.g., threat assessment) and rapidly respond to changing tactical situations.
  • Natasha is an expert tactician. She is a very effective strategist, tactician, and field commander. She has led the Avengers and even S.H.I.E.L.D. on one occasion.
Useless? I think not.
Just to be fair, let’s also take a closer look at Hawkeye’s special skills. (So sorry, no more hot Natasha pics.)

While Hawkeye has no superhuman powers (with the exception of the period when using Pym particles to become Goliath), he is at the very peak of human conditioning; he is an exceptional fencer, acrobat and a grandmaster marksman, having been trained from childhood in the circus and by the criminals Trick Shot and Swordsman. This includes considerable strength, as a supervillain found out when he tried to use the superhero’s 250 pounds-force (1,100 newtons) draw weight bow and found that he could not draw back the string to launch an arrow.
Hawkeye has also been thoroughly trained by Captain America in tactics, martial arts, and hand-to-hand combat. Hawkeye excels in the use of ranged weapons, especially the bow and arrow, and carries a quiver containing a number of customized “trick arrows”. In his role as Ronin, Barton shows great proficiency with the katana and other melee weapons. He has gained a reputation for being able to “turn any object into a weapon”, and has been seen using items such as tin plates, coins, sticks and other debris to great effect against his enemies.

That’s pretty darn impressive I’d say. Furthermore, one of the so-called A-List Avengers, Iron Man’s special talents come from his genius brain, his enormous wealth and his teach armor. No super powers. Captain America is an enhanced Super Soldier whose been augmented to be as strong, fast, agile and durable as a human can get, but is still not technically superhuman.
It’s at this point where a DC fanboy (or girl) usually pipes in with this: “There’s another superhero who doesn’t have any super powers yet still manages to hold his own on a team of A-list heroes. maybe you’ve heard of him…..”

That’s right. This guy here is one of THE most popular and formidable superheroes in the world and he hasn’t got a single super power to his name. Now if you’re going to say or even imply that Batman is useless, then you’d better start running before you finish saying it. 
But, you say, that sketch wasn’t wrong, someone like Hawkeye or Black Widow would get pwned if they had to fight a ‘God-Eater’. You can’t beat someone like Ego the Living Planet or Thanos with an arrow or a karate kick. That’s true, but here’s the thing about that: anyone possessing half a brain wouldn’t send a non-powered human to go head-to-head with omni-powered cosmic being in the first place. There’s a statement that a friend of mine passed on to me: “Superman averts Armageddon while Batman takes care of the crazies”. You wouldn’t send Batman in to stop a giant meteor from destroying a nearby town, that calls for metahuman might. The same way you wouldn’t call in Superman to stop a serial killer who’s been picking off public figures one by one. That calls for detective skills and street savvy. So the skit’s line “You can’t beat a God Eater with a karate kick” is stupid and should be obvious to anyone with the IQ of a slice of pizza; Black Widow isn’t equipped to take on a threat like that head-on; she’s a spy who specializes in stealth, espionage, interception, infiltration and one-on-one combat with normal humans and operatives. Any team tactician worth their salt would know that and coordinate their team members accordingly.
So that’s why I say to the writers of this skit:

The Retro Bin : Yogi’s Space Race (1978)

goldstar Leave a comment

In this installment of The Retro Bin, we’ll be looking back at the NBC Saturday morning series produced by Hanna-Barbera studios, Yogi’s Space Race.

Yogis_Space_Race

Wow. That title logo font is so original. Never saw that anywhere before.

When George Lucas’ motion picture Star Wars became a monster hit at the box office in 1977, each of the 3 networks (this was before the creation of the FOX network, by the way) tried to come to come up with their own TV version. There was Space Academy and Jason of Star Command on CBS, Space 1999 and Battlestar Galactica on ABC and Buck Rogers in the 25th Century on NBC. Not surprisingly, Star Wars Mania also found it’s way into the world of SatAM cartoons. NBC’s Yogi’s Space Race was one of several of the alphabet network’s attempts to bring Star Wars to the small screen. The series was another H-B “potpourri” series bringing together established H-B stars such Yogi Bear and Huckleberry Hound along with new characters in order to compete with each other in a good natured competition. Basically, it was Wacky Races in space. One can imagine how the board meeting that lead to this shows’ creation might have went:

HB Executive #1: We’ve got to come up with a new show to cash in on this Star Wars heat! Anybody got any ideas?

HB Executive #2: Hey, remember that cartoon that we did back in 1965? The Wacky Races? Well, why don’t we just do that again, but in space?

HB Executive #3: Yeah! And let’s stick some established character in there so kids’ll want to watch it! Since we use Scooby Doo, Yogi Bear and The Flintstones for everything, let’s use 1 of them.  Like, say….(throws a dart at a dart board with pictures of old H-B characters taped on it). Yogi Bear! We can call it “Star Race”!

HB Executive #2: No, too obvious! Let’s call it Yogi’s Space Race!

HB Executive #1: BRILLIANT! Let’s get to work on that!

Yogi’s Space Race originally ran for 90 minutes, with the Space Race segments sandwiched between 3 added attractions; The Galaxy Goof Ups (which featured 4 of the Space Race characters as Galactic Patrol officers whose missions mostly involved using their stupendous incompetence to give their superior officer daily migraines), as well as 2 non-space themed attractions, The Buford Files and The Galloping Ghost. Buford was basically a bucolic version of Scooby Doo, while Galloping Ghost focused on 2 women who worked at a dude ranch which was also haunted by the ghost of the Miner 49er. Think Hey, Dude with a specter. Neither of these series ran for very long, and in the case of each, if you’ve seen 1 episode, you’ve seen them all, so sorry, folks, I’m not motivated enough to do a full review of either. Galaxy Goof-Ups was later spun off into it’s own separate series, aptly titled Galaxy Goof-Ups, reducing the series to 60 minutes. It was then reduced to only a half hour in early 1979 when NBC spun off Buford and The Galloping Ghost to a single series, imaginatively titled Buford and the Galloping Ghost, so in the end, the Space Race segments ran by themselves. Anyways, here’s the shows’ intro.

The Space Race segments focused on weekly intergalactic racing competitions in which the competitors flew around in mini space cruisers. The individual teams consisted of:

yogis-space-race_L19

  • Yogi Bear and Scare Bear (a cowardly bear voiced by Stooge replacement Joe Besser who also starred on Galaxy Goof-Ups). That’s right, no Boo-Boo this time. He was offered the job, but he declined.

Yogi: Hey, Boo-Boo! NBC wants us to star in a new show where we race and have adventures in outer space!

Boo-Boo: That’s sounds kind of stupid, Yogi. I think I’ll pass on this one.

Yogi: But, Boob, it says that every week we get to dance in a space disco!

Boo-Boo: It’s 1978, Yogi. Disco is practically dead! Besides, you know that I prefer Rockabilly!

yogis-space-race_L08

  • Huckelberry Hound and Quack-Up (another new character who also starred with Huck, Yogi and Scare Bear on Galaxy Goof-Ups, who here acted as the zany, clumsy pilot of the ship)
“Oh, a crazy cartoon duck. Real original, Hanna-Barbera! I wonder where you got that idea from!”
*************************************
yogis-space-race_L15
  • Jabberjaw and Buford (from the aforementioned Buford Files) – Jabberjaw, the shark with the Curly Howard sound-like voice, flew the ship, while Buford ran outside of it on a treadmill to give the ship additional speed.

yogis-space-race_L13

  • Wendy, Rita and Nugget Nose (the central characters from Galloping Ghost)
yogis-space-race_L10

From this…

yogis-space-race_L18

…To this. Transformers. Creepos in Disguise.

  • Phantom Phink and Sinister Sludge/Captain Good and Klean Kat – A space villain bad guy and his sneaky dog who also disguised themselves as Captain Good (Phink), the heroic champion and the paragon of good sportsmanship and his sidekick Klean Kat (Sludge). No one on the show (except for us, the viewers) knew that Phantom Phink/Captain Good and Sinister Sludge/Klean Kat were one and the same. Why they did this was never explained. Either Phink and Sludge had serious split personality disorders or maybe they owed Jabba the Hut a huge debt.

Space Racers

In fact, there were a number of things that weren’t explained on the show, such as how did Yogi, Huck and Jabberjaw get to outer space in the 1st place? And what were they doing there? How did Huck recline on his spaceship patio without him floating off into the abyss of the cosmos? And is a outer deck patio on a spaceship really a good idea for a race where the object is to go fast? And how was it that all of the racers were able to breathe when there’s no oxygen in space, yet none of the space ships that they flew in had tops? I tend to think that perhaps each of the ships had some kind of device that surrounded each them with a packet of artificial oxygen which allowed them to breathe in the vacuum of deep space, or possibly…

Dang! There I go over thinking a kids’ cartoon show again! Sorry about that. Anyway, just like it’s spiritual ancestor, Wacky Races, the individual episodes mostly ran together. Most people who are old enough to remember the series just remember the overview of the series in general, rather than any individual plots or story lines. Same deal with Galaxy Goof-Ups. I actually didn’t see any episodes of Galaxy Goof-Ups until they were rerun on Nickelodeon, and even after that, I don’t remember much except that at least once in each episode the title quartet would be shown boogeying down at an intergalactic disco, which of course was in no way inspired by the Cantina scene in Star Wars. I leave you now with images of disco music…IN SPACE!!

(No, this isn’t the actual music that was used on the show. I couldn’t find a clip with the actual show’s music, but you get the idea.)

The Retro Bin: The Super Globetrotters (1979)

silverstar 2 Comments

Hello and welcome to a new segment on Twinsanity titled The Retro Bin, where we unearth a forgotten show from Toon Town’s past, examine it and basically tear it a new one. Today, we’ll be looking at a Hanna-Barbera “classic” from 1979, The Super Globetrotters.

Look! Down on the court! Is it the 1992 Dream Team? Is it the NBA Hoop Troop?? NO! It’s the Super Globetrotters!!!
 
First, the obligatory history lesson: in 1970 the world-famous Jesters of Dunk were given a Saturday morning cartoon series from Hanna-Barbera Studios in which they would travel the world having wacky adventures. Not content to rest on their laurels, HB gave the Trotters another series, this time adding a new twist: figuring that just having the Harlem Globetrotters in a SatAM cartoon wasn’t enough, HB decided to take the concept one step further and make the Globies superheroes who transform into their super-selves by running into magic lockers. (We are not making this up.) The Trotters of Tomorrow were an eclectic bunch to say the least:
  • Nate Branch became Liquid Man, who could turn himself into water. One of Saturday morning’s greatest mysteries is that if Nate was called Liquid Man, then why did he wear an ‘F’ on his costume? That bugged the heck out of me as a kid.
  • Freddie “Curly” Neal became Super Sphere (aka Sphere Man), who could retract his limbs into his head to bounce, smash, and grow. Naturally, his head looked like a basketball.
  • Hubert “Geese” Ausbie became Multi-Man, who could clone himself into into a seemingly infinite amount of duplicates to surround and mystify foes. He also carried around a shield which he never seemed to have use of.
  • James “Twiggy” Sanders became Spaghetti Man, who possessed a body of living spaghetti which he could use his as a ladder, a rubber band or a rope.
  • Louis “Sweet Lou” Dunbar became Gizmo Man (sometimes just Gizmo), who had an immense Afro which was a gateway to Hammerspace, containing an unlimited supply of gadgets (including one that fit the current situation). Sweet Lou’s particular power was so nutty that it later turned up as a visual gag in an episode of Comedy Central’s Upright Citizens’ Brigade.
The team received their marching orders from the Crime Globe, a basketball-shaped satellite (voiced by Frank Welker) that would alert the Globetrotters of villainous activities and even give them strategies to fight them.
-Wait, an HB show about a team of superheroes featuring a guy who can turn into water, a guy who can create copies of himself and a guy who can spring and stretch. That sounds kind of familiar….
…Hanna-Barbera copying one of their own successful formulas? Nah, couldn’t be. They’ve never done that.
The actual episodes typically blurred together, so it’s not really necessary to go into great detail about them. This opening pretty much sums things up.

The stories were little by way of repetition: The Globetrotters would be playing some exhibition match somewhere when they’d get a message from the Crime Globe warning them that some nut-cake with a wacky-themed costume and gimmick was planning to unleash some diabolical plan of some sort, the Globies would go Super, then the Trotters and the villains of the week would after 15 minutes, shtick each other to a stalemate. Then the Villain of the Week would challenge the Globetrotters to a basketball game for whatever McGuffin they were squabbling over. Since they’re the Harlem Globetrotters, basketball is what they do, they would always accept, expecting a fair game. The villains would always cheat–because they’re villains–and the Globies would get their butts handed to them in the first half, then at halftime the Crime Globe would have to remind them that they’re, like, you know, SUPERHEROES and that they should go Super again and use their powers to beat them. They would, and they would come out triumphant. This happened in every episode. Every. Single. Episode. You’d think just once the Globetrotters would get the idea to become super  at the start of the match, but no. I would have loved to have seen this exchange, just once:

Crime Globe: (at the start of the match) Attention, Globetrotters. Suit up and become the Super Globetrotters.

Nate: Why? It’s just a basketball game. We’re the Globetrotters. This’ll be a piece of sweet cake!

Crime Globe: Ah, no. Come on, guys, how many times have we done this? The bad guys are going to cheat and whoop your butts throughout the first half, then I’ll have to tell you that you can’t win this game as regular Globetrotters, then you’ll have to became superheroes to defeat them. So how about this time we skip all that and cut right to the chase??

Twiggy: Well yeah, that’s happened once or twice, but…

Crime Globe: It happens every week. What’s wrong with you?! It’s just like that time you guys met Snow White; you were playing against the Wicked Queen’s living gargoyles and of course the Queen used black magic to beat you, so at half time you finally got the bright idea that since you’re the flipping HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS, that you should be using your exhibition tricks to win, like you should have been doing at the beginning. So go super, now!

Curly: You sure? ’cause I think…

Crime Globe: GET IN THE @#$%ING LOCKERS ALREADY!!

After a single season, the Globies were handed a copyright lawsuit by a certain rock band/superhero trio and also received this letter from the Hall of Justice:

Dear Globetrotters,

If you really want to save the world, stay on the courts and leave the super-heroics to the professionals. Back off our racket or we’ll make arrangements for you to have to start dragging around 2 annoying teenagers and a stupid dog in a cape.

Signed, 

The Justice League

And that put an end to the practice of basketball stars doubling as superheroes, at least until Shaquille O’Neal took the role of Steel. And we all saw how well that turned out.