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My Idea for Cartoon Network: Toons at 10

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Hello, everyone. First, let me say sorry it’s been so long since the last entry here. I’ve been busy with work, life and so forth. That said, on to the topic…

So last week, Cartoon Network announced it’s upcoming series at it’s Upfront, and among the things that were mentioned as being up-and-coming are 15 minute shows that will air at 9pm just before Adult Swim. Many fans have been complaining about AS starting earlier and earlier and taking away valuable time away from Cartoon Network. Now personally, I think that this move that Cartoon Network is planning is a step in the right direction. In fact, it’s similar to an idea that I myself had for the network that would effectively bridge the gap between Cartoon Network and Adult Swim. I call it (drum roll)…..Toons at Ten (or Toons at 10, whichever spelling you prefer). Toons at Ten would basically be an hour of animated (I can’t overstress that: the channel is called CARTOON Network for a reason, but I’ve done enough ranting about that on Toon Zone) programming that’s bolder and more daring than the usual TV-Y and TV-Y7 rated kid vid stuff, but not as hard and edgy as the shows on Adult Swim, so no TV-MA rated programming like The Boondocks or Metalocalypse. Toons at 10 would be sort of a Adult Swim-lite that would ease the transition from Toon to AS. There could also conceivably be some 15 minute original programs especially made for the block if the network were interested in producing them. Excluding any original programs, here are some of my choices for shows which could get a run on the Toons at 10 block:

Looney Tunes (uncensored)
The Tex Avery Show (uncensored)
King of the Hill
The Simpsons (I know that it’s very unlikely that Toon will acquire this, but it fits the lineup, so let’s just go with it)
Mission Hill
The Oblongs
Baby Blues (I don’t really care about this show myself, but it is the type of show that could get a run on this lineup)
Megas XLR
The Critic
Daria (Again, I know that there will be a Chuck E. Cheese on Mars before this happens, so don’t point that out to me)
Beavis & Butthead (see above)
Liquid Television (see above)
6Teen
Total Drama…
Stoked (since these shows do have a rating higher than TV-Y or TV-Y7).

There would be 2 half hours a night, with the programs alternating every few weeks/months. Originally, I was going to suggest Justice League/Unlimited, One Piece or Samurai Jack for this block, but I didn’t want to turn Toons at 10 into an action block. And of course, this way, Adult Swim would begin at 11pm. But now, it looks as if Turner is itself trying to bridge the gap between Cartoon Network and Adult Swim, and I wish them the best. It sounds like a good idea to me, and I hope that Turner allows the idea to grow and evolve and not just drop the block like a hot brick and remove all traces of it’s existence if it doesn’t get monster sized ratings after about a month.

Hero: 108 – Mediocrity With an Eastern Flavor

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Once upon a time in the Hidden Kingdom, humans and animals lived together in peace and harmony. All was utterly copacetic…until a game-loving but arrogant tool of a court jester named High Roller made the mistake of insulting the former Emperor of the Hidden Kingdom and was immediately banished from the great East Citadel. For a time, he wandered alone in the forest, his temperament worsening and his hatred for humans increasing by the minute. As fate would have it, he was struck by lightning, thereby gaining the ability to speak the language of animals.High Roller soon discovered the animals’ great weakness for candy (Come on now, who can resist a good Reese’s cup?) and bribed them with sweets, lying to them and convincing the animals that humans were their enemies. In short order, many animals joined his cause and helped kick humans out of their homes and castles. Now animal kings and queens must pay homage to High Roller, who is now the new Emperor of the East Citadel, and do his bidding. Many humans live in fear of his legions of thuggish animal soldiers. But there is hope, as a band of 108 heroes have banded together to form a rebel force. Led by Commander ApeTrully and with such colorful squad members as Lin Chung, a stoic and skilled sharpshooter possessing the legendary Panther Vision and the soul of an artist, Jumpy Ghostface (sounds like the worst rap name ever!), aka the Rabbit King, a rabbit warrior in whose hands a simple jumprope becomes a dangerous weapon, Mystique Sonia, a mystic-flavored warrior and total girly-girl, Mighty Ray, a loud, brash, simplistic and arrogant muscleman with the ability to fire beams of lightning from his eyes, and Mr. No Hands, the seemingly limbless military commander, this team of heroes live in a giant abandoned turtle shell called ‘Big Green’ and fight High Roller and his forces to protect the humans and restore peace to the Hidden Kingdom.

Does that sound like a kick-ass show? Well, prepare to be surprised.

Hero: 108 is a new animated series which airs on Cartoon Network. It arrived on Toon with absolutely zero promotion by the network (as opposed to Adventure Time, which has been receiving on-air promos as far back as January). I thought that this wasn’t fair at first, but after watching Hero: 108 for 2 weeks, I can understand why Toon is being so close-mouthed about the show.

It’s not as though Hero: 108 is an outright terrible show; it’s really not outstandingly bad, the problem is that it’s not outstandingly good, either. There are some decent elements to the series: I love the show’s setting: it’s lush and ripe with Eastern mysticism and mythology, and some of the characters have their own odd little quirks and back stories which could make for interesting material (for example, Mystique Sonia has a spell on her that causes any male who says “I love you” to her 3 times in a row to transform into a yaksha–that’s the little pink cat-thingy on her head, BTW; Mighty Ray’s lightning-like eye beams are fueled by bananas, a food he just happens to hate; Mr. No Hands, in fact, has hands, but he keeps them locked in constraints because he apparently can’t control them–when his hands are free, he can’t stop tickling himself uncontrollably–creepy!; and Big Green’s leader ApeTrully, though he resembles a cardboard box man, is in fact in disguise–he’s actually a monkey, specifically, he’s the 33rd Monkey King–nevermind that monkeys technically aren’t apes, but he opts to keep his true identity a secret since he doesn’t think his followers would willingly follow a simian leader), but unfortunately the show rarely, if ever, takes advantage of these little quirks nor are they mined for any kind of real potential.

The show also suffers from a repetitive “wash, rinse, repeat” story structure: Typically, an episode goes like this: some fill-in-the-blank animal kingdom is persecuting or enslaving humans. ApeTrully arrives on the scene to mend fences (usually bringing gold in tow). ApeTrully’s attempt at diplomacy is rebuffed and he gets captured. First Squad (our heroes) are called in and engage in some mild battles and by-play. Said animal king (or queen) challenges he squad to some sort of contest. Heroes face adversity and triumph. Fill-in-the-blank animal kingdom gains newfound respect for humans and joins the cause of Big Green. Wash, rinse, repeat. Occasionally, a curve ball will be thrown (the heroes fail to reform the Eagles in “Eagle Castle”) but changes to the formula are few and far between.

Hero: 108 also gives people like me who live to categorize placement trouble: it’s not funny enough to be a comedy, it’s not hardcore enough to be an action show. What is it?

Hero: 108 is an ambitious idea, which unfortunately, is the epitome of average. It’s just entertaining enough that one can sit through it for a half-hour and not complain (much), but it has the potential to be so much more. If the writing and execution were just a few notches higher, then this could be something noteworthy. Somewhere, buried amongst all that mediocrity, there’s a brilliant series waiting to bust out.

Player Two Start: A Salute to Marvel Super Heroes

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Here at Twinsanity, we sometimes like to pay tribute to things that we like, but don’t be deceived by what your about to read here. I don’t review video games. I’m not the Angry Video Game anything. There are already plenty of game reviewers out there, many of which are much better at that sort of thing than I could ever be. So no, this is not a game review. I’m merely taking this time to pay tribute to one of the most fun, and most underrated video games of all time: A little one-on-one fighter from Capcom known as Marvel Super Heroes.


Marvel Super Heroes made it’s arcade debut in 1995 and was released for the Playstation and the Sega Saturn in 1997. I played the game in the arcade and was downright giddy when the Playstation version of the game came out. While most of the gaming world has fully embraced Capcom’s later fighting titles such as Marvel VS Capcom and especially Marvel VS Capcom 2, MSH kind of got left behind in the dust afterward. Despite this, MSH remains one of my all time favorite games to this day. If you doubt me, just check out the awesomeness of the game’s opening cinema:

Anyone who hasn’t played this game yet, find a copy and play it now! You won’t regret it. One piece of advice, though: When searching for MSH, do not under any circumstances, confuse it with this title:

Super Nintendo Marvel Super Heroes War of the Gems Front Cover

This is not Marvel Super Heroes. This is Marvel Super Heroes: War of the Gems, a game for the Super Nintendo which is actually a retread of an earlier SNES title, X-Men Mutant Apocalypse, only with a slightly altered story and some different characters. Don’t get me wrong, Mutant Apocalypse is actually pretty fun, but if you rent or buy this game under the belief that you’re getting the arcade classic, you’ll be in for a disappointment. That said, on to the real MSH:

Marvel Super Heroes features 10 selectable characters; 6 super heroes — Spider Man, Captain America, Hulk, Iron Man, Wolverine and Psylocke– and 4 villains — Magneto, Juggernaut, Blackheart and Shuma Gorrath (the latter 2 I’ve never heard of before playing this game. Sorry, comic book fans!) In the Street Fighter tradition, there are also 2 bosses– Dr. Doom is a mid boss and Thanos is the final boss. My only complaint about the lineup is why we got Cap and Iron Man but no Thor? And why only 1 female character? There are too many good woman characters in the Marvel universe for this game to only have 1. Each character has the requisite set of personalized special moves and super moves, here called “Infinity Moves”, which are all quite cool.

However, MSH’s standout feature is the inclusion of the Infinity Gems.

In the comics, the Infinity Gems grant their user near god-like abilities that allow you to rule the universe faster than you can say “God-like egomaniac!”, but in the game, they just enhance your fighter’s abilities in a unique way: The Space Gem causes your character temporary invulnerability. The Power Gem causes your attacks to deal out much more damage. The Soul Gem slowly replenishes your life bar. The Time Gem speeds up you character. The Reality Gem gives your character projectiles, and the Mind Gem fills up the Infinity Bar faster so you can bust out with a super move. Generally, an Infinity Gem is tossed into the fray after the 1st attack of the match. The Gem will land in the middle of ring, so your opponent has a chance to get it as well. Each gem grants it’s user special powers (as if the likes of Juggernaut and Magneto need to be more powerful!), and certain gems grant particular abilities to specific characters. The Reality Gem causes Blackheart to turn invisible. The Power Gem gives Captain America shadow moves. The Soul Gem causes Iron Man’s hits to strike with electric shock, etc. This was a very unique and innovative touch to the world of fighting games and so I’m truly surprised that this experiment was never repeated. Also, this is a minor nitpick, but I have to wonder why Capcom felt it necessary to change 2 of the Infinity Gem’s colors for the game. The Time Gem is orange in the comics, but it’s magenta in the game, while the Reality Gem is yellow in the comics, but it’s orange in the game! Ultimately, this change doesn’t make any real difference but still, it strikes me as curious why 2 of the gem’s colors were changed, while the colors of the other 4 were left unchanged.

Anyway, Marvel Super Heroes was a superb title with fun game play and a surprising amount of re-play value despite it’s lack of secrets and unlockable characters (Supposedly, there’s a Game Genie code that allows to you play as Anita from the Darkstalkers games, but it never worked for me. Whenever I tried it, it would always freeze up after the VS screen).

It remains one of the great mysteries of the gaming universe why this game never got a sequel (and no, I don’t count Marvel Super Heroes VS Street Fighter. The Capcom “VS” games were a separate series and are not connected to MSH, at least not to me. Also, I had some criticisms about MSH vs SF’s lineup. Did we really need to have Captain America and Cyclops? The way that they played, they were practically 1 entity!). It would have been great to have gotten a Marvel Super Heroes 2, especially if the lineup had changed some and we could have gotten Thor, The Thing, Human Torch, Silver Surfer, Storm, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Firestar, Ms. Marvel or even She Hulk as playable characters. Nonetheless, Marvel Super Heroes was a great fighting title for it’s time and it still holds up now, and for this, MSH, we at Twinsanity salute you.

SAL-UTE!

Why a 24 Hour Adult Swim Channel Will Not Happen

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I’ve been hearing a lot of requests and thoughts from fans on the message boards about a 24 hour Adult Swim channel. AS should become it’s own channel. Why doesn’t AS just become it’s own channel?, etc. I’ve heard similar requests for a 24 hour 4KidsTV channel.

Listen, I don’t want to sound like a jerk here, but I have to chuckle a little when people say “Why doesn’t so-and-so program block just become it’s own channel?”, as if launching a 24 hour channel is as easy as buying airspace at the entertainment section of your local Walmart. Launching a 24 hour channel is a more costly and involved process than most fans believe it to be. There are a number of things working against Williams Street splitting from Cartoon Network and launching Adult Swim into it’s own separate channel. Before I start, I’d like to clear up a little misconception that a few fans seem to believe in as gospel: Adult Swim is not a separate entity from Cartoon Network; AS is part of Toon. AS is a 4 hour program block that airs nightly on Cartoon Network which due to the fact that it’s considered to be a separate entity for ratings and commercial purposes, has successfully fooled everyone into thinking that it’s a separate channel, when it is in fact, merely a program block. Toon and AS are not “sister” networks, the way that TBS and TNT are. It’s much more like Nickelodeon and Nick@Nite. Cartoon Network owns Adult Swim, lock stock and barrel.

That said, here are some reasons why an Adult Swim channel will likely never come to pass:

– Adult Swim doesn’t have enough programming to run 24/7.
Many of the outside acquisitions that used to run on AS Williams Street no longer has the broadcasting rights to. You wouldn’t want AS running 24/7, unless you wouldn’t mind seeing reruns of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast running about 10 times a day, Robot Chicken running about 9 times a day and Aqua Teen Hunger Force running another 10 times in a day. What’s that you say? “Then why doesn’t WS just make a bunch of new shows?” Because that’s easier said then done, that’s why. New programming costs money, and who’s going to give WS the mucho dinero they would need to produce a bunch of new programs? Turner? Don’t think so. If Turner is too cheap to produce a general kids’ entertainment channel to air it’s crappy live action shows on, then they’re sure as shootin’ not going to finance a 24/7 AS channel.

– Adult only programming can only air during certain hours of the day
Adult Swim isn’t HBO or Showtime, which are both pay stations. Programs like The Boondocks, for example, are rated TV-MA, which means that AS wouldn’t be able to air them during the daytime hours. Imagine what would happen if a stay-at-home mom caught her toddler channel surfing during a commercial break of Blue’s Clues and landing on an episode of The Boondocks or Squdbillies or Tim & Eric and you’ll have some idea why this idea could simply not fly. WS would have to air kid-friendly programming during the daylight hours in order to appease the concerned parents at home, which would defeat the purpose of having an AS channel in the 1st place.

-Neither Williams Street nor Turner have any desire to make an AS channel
Representatives from WS have stated repeatedly that they don’t want to break off and program an AS channel, and Turner doesn’t want AS to separate from Toon because AS is currently getting higher ratings than anything else on Toon. To throw away a program block that’s the highest rated thing on their channel right now would be more insane than wearing a suit made of aluminum foil, pour gravy on your head running around screaming “Look at me! I’m Baked Potato Man!”. Meanwhile, Boomerang is continuing to languish on it’s never ending hamster wheel and getting the red-headed stepchild treatment from Turner, with only the occasional shuffling of it’s lineup in order to create the illusion that the channel isn’t dead (My personal theory is that the programming on the Boomerang channel is being run on a single tape that’s run repeatedly in a small room within the Cartoon Network studio and some guy looks in occasionally to check if the tape is still playing). Turner needs to make better use of the 2 animation channels that it has now before they even entertain the thought of making a 3rd cartoon channel.

However, it appears as if Cartoon Network is going to allow Adult Swim to begin airing at 9pm (EST) in the near future (whether or not this is a good thing remains to be seen. I have mixed emotions about this move myself, but that’s for another time), so for the folks longing for an AS channel, this is probably the closest thing we’re going to get to actually having one.

Player Two Start!: Crimson Viper – What happened?

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The current video game buzz is all about Capcom’s (latest) upgrade to it’s popular game Street Fighter 4 (I still say that this game’s title makes zero sense seeing as how SF4 does not take place after 3F3, but instead takes place in between SFs 2 and 3, but I digress…) titled Super Street Fighter 4, and it would seem that Capcom has a lot riding on 1 of it’s new characters, Juri, being a breakthrough character. If you doubt me, just watch the SSF4 trailer. It’s almost all about her.
Am I the only one getting kind of a Mary Sue vibe from Juri? I mean, she owned Chun Li in that trailer. I understand that Juri is a new character and that Capcom wants fans to like the character, but still…Anyways, Capcom seems to be hoping that Juri will become SSF4’s newest “hot female” character. Capcom tried to do this with it’s last game, plain ol’ SF4, with the character of Crimson Viper, but somehow, C. Viper didn’t seem to take off and click with fans the way that Capcom had hoped or intended to. I have a couple of theories as to exactly why fans didn’t glom on to C. Viper the way that they did with Chun Li, Cammy and Sakura.

I think that much of the reason is because of C. Viper’s clothes. The pant suit makes her look kind of “mannish”, at least to me. I get that C. Viper is a special agent and that she’s got several high-tech gadgets tucked away in various places inside that suit of hers, but I honestly think that C. Viper had worn a short skirt instead of pants she may have caught on better. I’m know that I’m being a total guy here, but let’s face it; ours is a male dominated, shallow, lookist society, and female characters are judged largely by the way that they look and dress. Chun Li, Sakura and Cammy all wear outfits that reveal their legs. Cammy’s outfit is basically a swimsuit with a red beret and boots, and it’s common knowledge that a teenage girl in a school uniform is teh hotness. I know that logically, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for Sakura to still be in high school if this game is supposed to take place years after Street Fighter Alpha, but trying to imagine Sakura not wearing the Japanese schoolgirl’s uniform would be like trying to picture Charlie Brown not wearing his signature yellow shirt with the jagged horizontal stripe, or Shaggy from Scooby Doo not wearing his signature green T-shirt, or Inspector Gadget not wearing his trenchcoat and fedora hat. The outfit is part of who she is, and I think that if C. Viper had shown a little more skin, male fans would have glommed on to her a bit more and sooner.

My younger brother is not a fan of C. Viper, feeling that the character gives off something of a “B” vibe, and others may have this opinion of the character as well. However, there are a couple of things that I kind of like about C. Viper. I was never a huge fan of the whole secret agent shtick (even as a kid, I’ve always thought that super heroes were cooler), but I am fan of characters who utilize high tech as part of their usual attacks. Also, call me weird, but I like how Viper is a mother with a young daughter. It gives her a trace of being human. Since neither Viper nor her daughter have mentioned a father, I’m guessing that Dad is somehow out of the picture, but I think that it would have been kind of funny if C. Viper were this tough-as-nails special agent/troubleshooter when she’s on the job, but at home, she’s Donna Reed.

Anyway, I wish Capcom the best of luck with it’s new game and also I wish them success with their “hot” new character Juri, whom I’m sure will catch on and attract a loyal fanbase, until the next Street Fighter upgrade, that is.

“Hey, baby! You know you can’t touch this!” 

 

“Bitch!”