Today’s 2 Funny is one of my personal favorite Cartoon Network Shorties (the ones for Atom Ant and Droopy being the others). I’ve said this before, but I’d really like to see Turner make more of these (maybe they could be uploaded to Boomerang Online, since CN isn’t in the classic business anymore and no one really knows what Boomerang is supposed to be anymore). Here’s “Alligator Liberation”.
Some of my favorite bits:
Wally’s line “I’m thinking cable’s out of the question” gets me every time.
I like how the “savage” gators talk like erudite gentlemen with Thurston Howell III accents.
I think the female hippie animal activist is kind of cute.
So wouldn’t it be great if someone were to make some toys of Looney Tunes characters in customized cars? Thankfully someone did.
A toy company known as ERTL made a set of die cast toy cars featuring the classic Looney Tunes characters. I first became aware of ERTL and these toys in 1989 when I saw this commercial on TV.
Now, I was 20 in 1989, so when I saw this ad, my reaction was “That’s cool,”, but if kid me had seen this, it would have been more like….
I have to wonder why Tweety and the Road Runner would need to drive cars when the former can fly and the latter could easily out run a car, but this isn’t Talkin’ Nerdy, so I should stop thinking so much.
Anyway, these are nicely sculpted figures. I like the deigns and the colors. As was seen on the commercial, there are only six of them: Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Sylvester, Road Runner and Tweety. To my knowledge, there weren’t any more made, so I have to ask ERTL, why did you stop there? Why not expand the toy line to include some other LT characters? How about Yosemite Sam in a monster truck (I had a dream once where I saw that toy in a Kay Bee)? Taz in a bulldozer? Marvin the Martian in a flying saucer? Lola Bunny in a convertible? Elmer Fudd in a stretch limo (after all, he owns a mansion and a yacht)?
While researching these toys, I discovered that ERTL also made some Looney Tunes die cast figurines.
…So it looks like I need to pay Ebay a little visit. Hey, guys…
Back in May 2016, Nerdvana introduced you to the future society of Cyber City.
Jason and I are big fans of Utopian futures and sci-fi stuff, so we’ve both been itching to delve further into this amazing future world, so let’s delve into the fictional events which led Earth to its’ idyllic life in the distant fictional future…all the way to the year 3000.
HOW WE GOT HERE…
Back in ancient times, back when people still put ice in their drinks, video games only played in 3 dimensions, pizzas were still flat and round and gangster rappers roamed the lands, things were pretty dicey. Society was sorely divided among warring factions.
“Right!” “Left!”
“Black!” “White!”
“Red!” “Blue!”
“Traditional!” “Progressive!”
“Force!” “Diplomacy!”
“Isolationism!” “Globalization!”
“Uniformity!” “Diversity!”
“COKE!!” “PEPSI!!”
People were so mired in their internal conflicts that they barely noticed them the day they came.
No one saw them coming. They just appeared in the sky. Flying saucers. (Cliche, yes, but that’s what they were.) There were 7 of them, one for each continent. For 3 days they just hung there in the sky. People tried making contact, armies tried blasting them, but they deflected everything and didn’t budge an inch. Then on a Thursday, just as everyone was settling down to watch Cash Cab, the ships suddenly sprung to life all at once and intercepted every TV and satellite signal on the planet (including public access and the Cooking Channel). This is what they said:
“Greetings, Earthies. We are the senior emissaries from the Democratic Order of Planets, or DOOP for short. For the past 4 days we have been monitoring your world, after receiving word that your planet existed and that there was said to be intelligent life on it (someone read this on a tabloid).”
“Now for the purpose of our arrival: Your world is what you’d call a Goldilocks Planet, positioned at a safe distance from your sun and capable of supporting and sustaining numerous forms of life, a rarity among the cosmos.”
“Even rarer, your planet is on a key nexus point in the galaxy, on the direct path of travel and commerce between several worlds affiliated with DOOP.”
“Our plan is to establish a set of intergalactic fueling stations on your Earth, so space travelers will be able to safely re-fuel their starships while traveling between worlds, and possibly grab a snack and get some minor repair-work done while they wait. Normally, in exchange for housing these stations, we would give the host planet enormous advances in science, technology and medicine, ushering said world into a new Golden Age of enlightenment and prosperity.”
“But not the way you yahoos act! We’ve been watching you guys these past few days, and your society is all F-ed up! You use every piddling detail you can think of to act really crappy to one another! You prejudice against each other because of what color your skin is?? Please! On my planet people come in 10 colors, and guess what? NOBODY CARES!”
“Yeah, you guys basically suck, but we’re reasonable beings, so we’re prepared to make you an offer: you have 365 of your Earth days, that’s one year, to clean up your collective act. Dissolve these pointless factions, unite as a people and repair the damages your stupid bickering has caused to your societies. If you do this, we’ll install the fueling stations and introduce you to the wonders of the cosmos and all that good stuff. If you don’t, well, we’re just going to vaporize your entire population, then after we’ve swept your remains away, we’ll just put the stations here anyway. Your planet can be re-terraformed, you guys can’t!”
“Oh, and one more thing: don’t try any of that Independence Day BS. Your weapons are useless against us. In fact, any act of hostility by any of you will be considered a breach of our agreement and we’ll just vaporize you right then and there! It’s a simple equation, folks: EVOLVE OR DIE. Emissaries out!”
Naturally, at first there was panic in the streets.
But after the predicted strings of rioting and suicides, the intelligent people did get the idea that whatever side they happened to fall on, it wasn’t going to matter if everyone was dead. So all of the remaining populace put in what is now considered the hardest piece of work in recorded history. With just weeks to spare, World Peace was finally declared.
“We…are the World.”
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when faced with the threat of global annihilation!
The aliens were true to their word. Not only did they not wipe us out, but they did indeed treat humanity to HUGE advances in technology, science, medicine and agriculture. Over time, Earth became a technologically advanced, environmentally friendly Utopia where all the world’s nations merged into one, and crime, poverty and diseases were all systematically eliminated (the common cold was eradicated in 2034, then the rest of the illness all fell like dominoes).
The DOOP fueling stations were installed on Earth. As a result, many alien species began regularly passing through the planet, and several of them opted to stay, making Earth their new home. Today, in the year 3000, the planet Earth is a galactic melting pot, home to numerous alien species. This is the inevitability of cleaning up the place…
Once you make the world safe and clean, you open it up for the tourists!
Yes, I was so impressed by Damon’s mini series that I decided to tackle this myself. In this mini series, the show I’ll be covering is….The Loud House!
Smile for the camera. Think of how great it will be when you’re old enough to leave home.
If you’ve read the previous set of Pop Dreams, you already know how this goes: Pop Dream covers five categories:
Overview
Appearance
Personality
Funnier Moments
Conclusion
What’s going to make this particular one a little different is the issue of numbers. There are no less than 11 Loud siblings, and as such, I’m going to cover them this way; I’m going to discuss Lincoln first, then each of his sisters will be covered two at a time in descending order by ages and by their sleeping arrangements. This way, there will be 6 segments in total. If I did each character individually, I’d be doing this well into the end of the year, and keep in mind that I am lazy!
That said, let’s begin Pop Dreaming!
As previously stated, I’m going to start off by discussing the shows’ central character, and also the only Loud brother, Lincoln Loud!
“Boys rule and girls…aren’t so bad once you get to know them.”
OVERVIEW
Lincoln stands out among his family in a number of ways. He’s the shows’ central character and as such, most of the episodes are shows from his perspective. He’s the most grounded member of the main cast and he sometimes talks directly to the audience in the manner of Clarissa Explains It All. Most notably, Lincoln possesses something that none of his sisters have: a Y chromosome.
“MANLY!!!”
At 11 years old, Lincoln is the middle child and only son of the Loud family. Lincoln often speaks to the viewers about how he gets around his often-chaotic household, the insane antics of his sisters, and other things he does. Along with Lucy, he’s the quietest of the 11 Loud siblings. He’s also the only Loud sibling who has his own room (actually, a refurbished linen closet, but it still counts).
APPEARANCE
Lincoln seems to have a fondness for the color orange. His daily outfit consists of an orange polo shirt. His pajamas and his swim trunks are also orange.
However, Lincoln’s most noticeable feature is his white hair. He is the only member of the Loud House who’s hair is this color (save for Lucy, who has black hair). No explanation has been given as to why Lincoln’s hair is white. Some fans have speculated that Lincoln may be an albino, but series creator Chris Savino has stated that this is not the case.
“It’s probably brought on by stress! You try sharing a house with a bunch of cute girls sometime! It’s hard being the meat in a kawaii sandwich!”
Also, have you noticed that the cowlick on Lincoln’s hair never moves? It’s always on the same side of his head, regardless of which direction he’s facing. Why? Because cartoons!
“At least he didn’t have to join the Hair Club For Men at age 8! Yeah, life’s fair!”
PERSONALITY
Lincoln is an enthusiastic and charismatic boy. Although in some occasions he can be selfish, Lincoln is a good-hearted boy, who is always looking for fun, and thinking about the well being of others. Lincoln is an avid fancier of comic books, manga, video games, fantasy and science fiction stories, which are typical interests for a boy his age.
He is known to be “the man with a plan”, as he is usually elaborating plans with a specific objective, most of them for his own benefits. His plans rarely succeed because of his own selfish and reckless decisions or by his sisters’ interference. When he goes too far, he will always find the solution even if that means humiliating himself. One rather peculiar habit of his is reading comic books and manga while in his underwear.
“I’ve gotta feel the breeze between my knees!”
“What’s wrong with that? Running around wearing nothing but your shorts is perfectly natural!”
Here’s a pic of Lincoln hugging his mom. I don’t have a joke here, it just gives me the warm fuzzies.
FUNNIER MOMENTS
“In Tents Debate”. Lincoln is the tiebreaker to decide where to go for the big family vacation, and his sisters try to win him over to their sides. He allows the girls to collectively butter him up so he’ll decide on their choice. They proceed to wait on him hand and foot.
It’s…the…good life…
I don’t know why Lincoln wanted his toenails painted, but who am I to judge?
“The Loudest Yard”. Lincoln’s mother Rita Loud (Get it?) Tries to get Lincoln to get engage in some physical activity. In this episode, Lincoln says “Sports aren’t my thing.” I identify with that.
In one scene, Rita attempts to show Lincoln that exercise can be fun “Whee!” (Yes, she really said ‘Whee!’)
It turns out that Lincoln has taped one of his comic books to Rita’s butt. I think that I enjoy this scene more than I should.
“Linc or Swim”. After Lincoln and his sisters get banned from every pool center near their home for various issues, he purchases a kiddie pool for himself without his sisters’ knowledge. Unfortunately, his sisters take over the pool.
“Family togetherness. We’re full of it!”
CONCLUSION
Lincoln may not be the funniest character on the show. He may not be the most dynamic or charismatic, but he’s a very necessary character. He’s the glue that keeps the show together. The calm at the center of the storm. Lincoln is Alex Reiger (played by Judd Hirsch on Taxi). It’s hard to dislike the kid. When following story, you begin to share Lincoln’s frustration and in turn, you want him to succeed. Lincoln can be eccentric also, but sometimes the show needs to have a grounded character in order to get things accomplished and Lincoln provides that. As the only boy in the Loud House, Lincoln will always stand out among his siblings, and for that, we salute you. Here’s to all the guys forced to live in a house full of girls!
“WHAT TIME IS IT? WHAT TIME IS IT? WHAT TIME IS IT?!?”
It’s time for another installment of What The Funny!
-No, I’m not the usual guy for this. Jason did the first set of What The Funnies, which I enjoyed. In fact, I enjoyed them so much that I decided to take a stab at a WTF miniseries myself. (This is my first time, so bear with me.) The show we’ll be spotlighting in this WTF is….Steven Spielberg Presents Freakazoid!
Freak-a-me! Freak-a-you!
For those who don’t know, here’s how WTF typically goes: I’ll be showcasing an assortment of my personal favorite episodes of Freakazoid!, listing my favorite moments from them, and rating them accordingly. I won’t be going through every single scene and line blow by blow, I’ll just be listing my favorite and funniest moments from each story. I won’t be covering entire episodes, just shorts and segments from various episodes. Also, I won’t be going through every single episode (as that would take a while) and these won’t be in any particular order. Feel free to disagree or have your own personal pics, but these are my personal favorites, and since I’m the one doing the segment, there ya go.
Now, on with the Funny!
The first Freakazoid! episode we’ll be looking at is in fact the first episode, Dance ofDoom.
Starring Leonard Rhombus, Kipton Tang and Weena Mercator as the Hopping Woman.
Premise: Super villain Cave Guy, a ‘Primordial American’, a big hulking blue skinned caveman who’s actually very erudite and refined…
“I subscribe to the New Yorker!”
…is fresh from a crime spree and is unable to hide out at his usual digs in the Hamptons, so instead he holds Harry Connick Jr. High School hostage during a dance celebrating Daylight Saving Time. Nerdy Dexter Douglas is home, having been unable to obtain a date; however, upon learning of the hostage situation, he turns into Freakazoid and saves the day.
It’s worth mentioning that Paul Rugg auditioned for the role of Freakazoid by recording this entire segment. Tom Ruegger encouraged him to improvise extensively around McCann’s written lines. Most of Rugg’s dialogue in this short was improvised entirely in one take.
Gag Credits:
Weird Guy: Emmitt Nervend
Find Emmitt Nervend: Six Times in this Episode
Tag: “Wake up your folks and tell ’em you’re hungry. Go!”
Highlights:
We first see Freak’s alter ego Dexter Douglas at home, toiling away on his computer. Dex’s mom Debbie looks in and asks him why he’s not at the Daylight Savings Time Dance. We are then treated to the following exchange:
Cut to a montage of Dexter receiving one rejection after another. First, from hot chick Valerie (voiced by Tress MacNeille)…
“Sure, I’d love to go to the dance with you…if I were ugly and dead!”
Then nice girl Steff (voiced by Tracey Rowe)…
“Sorry Dexter, I think that night I’m, uh, washing my hair!”
And finally, from tough girl Jill (voiced by Cree Summer).
“Nah, can’t do it, Dex. I’m gettin’ something removed!”
Utterly defeated, Dexter is spending the evening typing out his retirement plans.
When Dexter replies that computers are “his whole life”, Debbie responds with:
Line of the episode, right there. (Well, one of them anyway.) Tress MacNeille’s reading of the line knocks it right out of the park.
MEANWHILE…
We briefly follow a man named Jeepers, a creepy, giggling little weirdo who owns a magic watch that can turn beavers into gold and was kicked out of California for being too strange, which should tell you something. Only to realize that Jeepers has absolutely nothing to do with the story. Shortly thereafter, we get our first glimpse of announcer Joe Leahy, here depicted as a marionette being operated by Freakazoid himself (!), who then says:
This line, incidentally, is a quote from Bela Lugosi in the Ed Wood directed “classic” Glenor Glenda?. Before writing this segment, the Freakazoid! writers had just seen the Tim Burton-directed biopic Ed Wood, which recounts the making of this scene. Rugg is playing Freak impersonating Martin Landau impersonating Lugosi.
In due time, Freakazoid arrives at the school gymnasium, where Cave Guy is holding the students hostage and leaps into battle…but first he does this:
Then it’s time for a little retribution.
“Steff, you fibbed to Dex about washing your hair. If this were an afterschool special, oh, you would pay a bitter price for your dishonesty, like getting big oily zits or eating from the same plate as David Lee Roth!!”
“OH!! It’s food on a plate! And HE’S been EATING off of it!! Don’t you see?!? DON’T YOU GET IT????? OOOH!OH!OOOOOH!”
POINGGG! “Hi, Mom!” And Jill, you said you were having something removed! Maybe that something was YOUR HEART!! Just kidding. It’s probably a mole or something! Pfffft!”
However, Freak can’t bring himself to dress down Val, because, you know, teh hotness. (Incidentally, in this short the writers seemed to be setting up a sort of Betty and Veronica dynamic with good girl Steff and bad girl Valerie, but apparently those plans were scrapped since neither Val nor Jill appeared again after this episode, though Steff refers to them in “Mission: Freakazoid” and Val regularly appeared in the opening titles, during the part of theme where the singers sing “He’s here to save the nation/so stay tuned to this station”.)
After some more cyber-babble with Cave Guy (Freakazoid: “I love you.” Cave Guy: “Oh, my.” Freakazoid: “Not just ’cause you’re Cave Guy, no, but because you’re part of the whole cosmic mankind-whale-tree thing!”), plus a basketball net to the head, Freak wins the day, but even as things wrap up, the jokes just keep on coming.
Freak finally tries to get some love as Dexter, only to be immediately get rejected by Val, who wants “the guy with the lightning in his hair.” Freak changes back into superhero mode and lands a kiss.
Freakazoid: That was shallow and based solely on hormones. Works for me!
Thoughts:
“Dance of Doom” doesn’t offer much in the way of plot, but the jokes and gags are fast and furious in this short. Initially the show was going to be more or less a straight superhero show with some comedic overtones, and one can see traces of that here. Personally, I’m glad the producers went the wacky-zany-nutty route.
My Rating: 3.5 out of 5.
Next up is “Mission: Freakazoid”. Don’t forget to Freak out!
Twin Images 
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