Brain Candy: Turn to the Nerds!

So recently, I learned that NBC’s new streaming service Peacock (seriously, that name. I get that the peacock has been NBC’s logo for decades, but they might as well just name their service “Penis”!) plans to launch a follow-up series based on the original Saved By the Bell, the famous (or infamous, depending on your point of view) teencom that ran on the network from 1989 to 1993.

Saved_by_the_Bell_logo

The early 90s is strong in this one…

Now, I was admittedly never a Saved By the Bell fan. I was aware of the show, and I’ve seen several episodes, and I know that SBTB was basically a live action cartoon and therefore I shouldn’t be looking for a realistic depiction of anything on this series, but I NEVER liked how the nerds on SBTB were portrayed.

Saved By the Bell Nerds 2

On SBTB, nerds were practically a separate sub-species. They all fell firmly into the “Poindexter” archetype; thick glasses, collared shirts buttoned all the way to the top, pocket protectors and high water pants. And they existed for no other purpose than to be a source of ridicule for the other students and for us the audience. If you possessed a genius level of intelligence, then you were a dweeby loser who only existed for our amusement and degradation. Heaven forbid they’d ever have a kid with above average intelligence who was allowed to hang with the cool kids!

Screech

And I’m not counting Screech. He was the comic relief among the comic relief!

Now I’m not saying that Poindexters and Melvins don’t exist. I know that they do, but my complaint is how so-called normal society tends to put us all in a box, as if we’re all the same. As far as they’re concerned…

Dilton Doiley

…It’s just Dilton Doiley and nothing else.

I state this as one of the geekiest geeks out there. I was never a cool kid. Incidentally, I generally prefer the terms “geek” or “brain” over “nerd”, but I’m going to use the term “nerd” for the rest of this monologue just to avoid excess verbiage.

Bethany_Walker

“What a nerdy thing to say.”

Yes, many nerds are socially awkward dweebs. Some are, but a lot aren’t. I’m going to quote something that ESPN reporter Bomani Jones once said on the show that he co-hosts, High Noon:

“Parents: just because your kids are smart doesn’t mean that they have dress like dorks. Smart kids like to wear cool sneakers too!”

I actually have to give the film Revenge of the Nerds more credit. They at least acknowledge that there’s more than one type of nerd.

revenge-nerds

Gilbert: Yesterday I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5 and 7. The odds were against me!

Louis: You should call 2, 4, 6 and 8 to get even! Haaaaa-ha-ha-ha!

Yeah, the two main nerds were Poindexters, but that was necessary for the purpose of the story; they proved their worth as human being in the film’s climax. My point is that there are some nerds/geeks who like to dress cool; we don’t all have thick taped glasses, and wear hi-water pants with penny loafers and collared shirts and ties to school (unless that’s the school’s uniform where such things are mandated).

Everyone is a geek about something. Being geeky is simply possessing an extraordinary level of knowledge on a particular subject, hobby or interest. Excelling at STEM is obvious (and if you don’t know what STEM is, you’re not a nerd!), but there are also TV geeks, history geeks, sci-fi geeks, comic book geeks, toy/collectible geeks, etc. If someone knows everything that there is to know about Disney princess movies than that person is a geek, just geeky about something other than STEM. And who says that a person is only allowed to be geeky on a single subject or interest? Like Cooper said in the 2020 film Trolls: World Tour:

Cooper

“You can be more than one thing. I’m pop and funk!”

Did I just quote a line from Trolls: World Tour? Why, yes, I did.

Case in point, Mr. Andre Meadows, a well known YouTuber.

Andre Meadows

When Mr. Meadows first began making internet videos, he gave himself the title “Black Nerd”, as if a black nerd was a rarity, and that may have been the belief at that time, but anyone who’s been on the internet in the last two decades can assess that black nerds (myself included) have been around for a long time; we just didn’t have an outlet to express our geekiness. Black nerds have existed long before the emergence of Steve Urkel.

Steve Urkel

Do not get me started on Steve Urkel….

Player Two Start!: Norimaro – The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Today, we’re going to spend some time talking about….this guy.

Norimaro

For those who don’t know, it’s Norimaro from Capcom’s Marvel Super Heroes Vs Street Fighter. Norimaro is an original character created and owned by Japanese comedian Noritake Kinashi (one half of the comedy duo known as “The Tunnels”) who represents neither Marvel nor Capcom. He appears as a regular character only in the Japanese arcade and console versions of the game, but was removed in all the overseas versions. He portrays a nerdy, cowardly schoolboy-type guy armed with a camera, who throws common school items like mini-Gouki (mini-Akuma) dolls and plushies as projectiles, and would attempt to ask for his opponent’s autograph mid-battle (can be seen when the player presses the START button during a match). Occasionally if this is done while facing the computer controlled Dan, his taunt will be done where he signs an autograph and throws it at Norimaro. He uses the comical “Hyper Strong Miracle Treasure” Hyper Combo, which has him throwing a massive amount of school supplies and other objects, and the equally-comical “Ultra Variety Private Memories” Hyper Combo, where he rushes his opponent and inflicts a multi-hit combo while wearing costumes. He is playable on the US version via hacking or if a cheat code is done with an emulator, and even has English dialogue in the Apocalypse and ending scenes, as well as win quotes, which indicates that he was intended for the overseas versions as well in the development stages of the game. Likewise, while he has been removed from most of the game’s overseas promotional materials, some overseas gameart still contains him, such as the game cover art above.

Here’s a taste of Norimaro in action:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IanPO3i3Rs4

Norimaro’s special movies include:

  • Tourist’s Treasure: Norimaro panics and turns around, which swings his bag and causes a doll or a school item to fly out, which acts as a projectile. The many items tend to vary, from a protractor to an Akuma figurine.
  • Personal Victory Jump: Norimaro leaps into the air diagonally body first, yelling “Shouryuuken” in what he probably thinks is a deep, serious voice. Works as an anti-air, has some recovery time, but sadly is the weakest anti-air in the game.
  • Fierce Hand Current: Norimaro cries while flailing his arms about while moving forward a distance, then falls over. Is a good move and sends the opponent flying if connects and does multiple hits, but has a lot of recovery time.
  • Banana Slip: Norimaro slips with a banana peel, launching the opponent in the air. This is Norimaro’s hard kick and technically isn’t a special move, but it has a special feature: if the banana hits the opponent, he will slip as well, and the peel can hit OTG.

Hyper Combos:

  • Hyper Strong Miracle Treasure (Level 1): Norimaro panics and throws thousands of school supplies and toys out of his bag.
  • Ultimate Grand Champion Jump (Level 1): Norimaro charges and then does a body-first diagonal high jump that hits multiple times.
  • Ultra Variety Private Memories (Level 1): Auto-combo/ranbu super. Norimaro dashes forward, and if this hits, he rapidly switches between a variety of silly poses which recount his memories, such as taking a bath, hiding behind his father, drawing on the floor, flipping an egg, dressing up as Rockman, playing with a teddy bear, being bit in the leg by a dog, playing in a cardboard car, and singing karaoke.

Unbenkownst to us Yanks, there were some additional Norimaro animations which didn’t make it to the final cut, such as the one below, in which Mr. N spots something interesting and jumps to the ground. This animation would have been used for victories against the game’s female characters, Chun-Li and Sakura; instead of his usual win animation of heading over to the fallen form of his opponent and snapping a photo of himself, Norimaro would take this opportunity to sneak a peek under his defeated opponent’s skirt. You dirty dog, you!

“Ooh, what do we have here??”

There is also what appears to be a unused Hyper Combo depicting our guy fantasizing about a particular Capcom character, triggering an explosive nosebleed. Several variants of this animation exist, specifically for Chun-Li, Sakura, Cammy, Morrigan and Felicia, as well as Anita (a little girl) and Zangief (a man). Clearly, this silly otaku’s fandom isn’t limited to just the ladies!

        

BOM-CHICKA-WOW-WOW!

One final point of confusion (for us Americans, anyway) is Norimaro’s game ending. Bizarrely, beating the game shows Norimaro’s ending images with Dan’s ending dialogue and Captain America’s nametag. Norimaro’s ending is basically him conquering the world, dying, and becoming a tedious subject for history books. Living proof that nerds rule.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is sailor-moon-usagi-tsukino.gif

“Oh, I’ve got to get me one of those!”

Go-Go

“Norimaro = HAWT!”

These remarks come as a surprise to no one, since it’s well known that Mr. N rocks the sexy!