Nerdvana: The Future Still Rocks!

Last time on Nerdvana…

a-cosmic-christmas-18

One fateful day in the 21st century, a band of wise and powerful but kinda aggressive and brutally frank alien emissaries arrived on Earth, planning to open a chain of spaceship fueling stations on our planet; if we put a stop to the constant wars, in-fighting, prejudice and environmental abuse, they promised to introduce Earth to the wonders of the universe. If we didn’t, they promised to fry us all like chicken. We wisely chose the first option.

fast_forward

Fast Forward 1000 years…

Happy Earth 2

By the 31st century, the planet Earth is a happy, peaceful Utopia. World Peace has been achieved, all of the world’s nations have merged into one, the planet has been opened up to the rest of the galaxy to the point where there are now numerous alien species, cultures and races living on Earth alongside humans, crime, poverty and pollution have been practically eliminated, humans diseases, handicaps and illnesses have been wiped out, race and gender discrimination are things of the past thanks to centuries of interracial cross-breeding and gene-splicing (nobody really knows what anybody is anymore, since everybody’s a mix of several things), thanks to modern medicine, people live longer; 75 is the new 35 and no one physically ages beyond 25, so everyone looks young and hot, the world economy has boomed to the point where people’s financial situations range from rich to mega-rich to stupid rich, ice cream has been replaced by a newer, better substance called Twice Cream, which comes in 731 flavors (and counting) and candy is good for your teeth.

Since all of Earth’s countries have merged, a new flag had to be created:

Futurama_flag_of_Earth.svg

…And since Earth is now the galaxy’s melting pot, accommodating a slew of extraterrestrials as well as humans, the Olympics have become intergalactic, creating the need for its’ logo to also be restructured.

Future Olympic Rings

wilbur_robinson_city

Nowhere is this NWWO (New Wonderful World Order) more evident than in Cyber City, a bright, shiny, colorful, bustling but blissful cosmopolis which is sort of like a world in microcosm. Cyber City is the melting pot of Earth, which itself is the melting pot of the galaxy, full of over 100 races, cultures and species, each pooling their knowledge, powers, skills, talents and resources in order to live the 31st century’s equivalent of the Good Life. Cyber City is so large in fact that it takes up an entire 1/6 of Earth’s surface.

Language is no longer a barrier thanks to Translator Microchips, which everyone in the galaxy has implanted in their ears shortly after birth.

Microscopic-Tiny-Computer-Microchip

Thanks to these puppies, whenever anyone speaks to you, you will hear your own native language, and when you talk to anyone else, they will hear their native tongue.

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“So now foreign languages teachers are obsolete. Thanks, the future!”

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Earth’s primary  population consists of Humans (or Native Earthicans), Space-Born Aliens (or New Earthicans), Wildlife (both Earth-born and alien) and Artificial Intelligence. Due to the diverse mix of beings who now live on Earth, the planet’s climate is now artificially and mystically controlled, with the temperature being kept at a balmy 73 degrees Fahrenheit. Cyber City is set for a variety of breathable atmospheres in order to be permeable to the mix of sentient beings living on Earth.

NORTH SIDE

Cloud City

Future Cityscape

Cyber City’s Northern region consists of a posh community in the clouds.

Orbit City

Dee-luxe apartments in the sky-eye-eye…

Not only is this cloud-covered, sky high, high end, high maintenance area home to aerial based species, such as the Altheans, an all-female race of winged mystics (basically space fairies)…

Winx Fairies

johnny bravo

“Whoa, Mama! Sign me up for flyin’ lessons!”

…But it’s also home to Cyber City’s Alphas: the top tier genetically enhanced metahumans, the elite Visitors from Space, the world leaders, the most decorated military commanders, the powerful wizards and mages, the richest celebrities, the great artists, all the achievers and A-Listers.

mon_el__4_

“Yeah, we’re basically above it all.”

SOUTH SIDE

Atlantis

Future Port 2

The South Side of Cyber City is set up like a water park, more or less. (Well, more actually.) The entire area is surrounded by ocean and the land structures are built around it. It’s a lush and tropical landscape…

underwater_city_by_mdimotta-d5byalt

…And it also boasts an underwater living complex in order to accommodate the galaxy’s various water and liquid based beings and creatures. If you don’t swim, sail, surf or splash, then you’ve got no business in South Cyber City.

Triton

“Surf’s up, dude!”

namorita_new_warriors

“I was born a kelp farmer’s daughter…”

johnny bravo

“Whoa, baby! Lemme grab muh Speedoes!”

EAST SIDE

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Cyber City’s Eastern region is the technological hub, boasting the greatest and most impressive devices (and for the future, that’s really saying something). It houses the main headquarters of Megacorp, THE  largest Techno-Cosmic Research and Innovation corporation/mega-conglomerate on the planet.

Megacorp was founded by tech trillionaire Mo Green…

J Moneymaker

“Cha-ching, baby!”

…in concert with his business partner, mad scientist Professor Lester Crazaloon.

Scientist-1-Color

“Actually, I just get slightly annoyed from time to time.”

blackpearl

This combination of corporate sharkery and Mad Science has made Megacorp gazillions of dollars. Megacorp’s money helped to fund Cyber City, its’ technology helped build it, and 2/3 of its’ citizenry work for Megacorp in some capacity or regularly use its’ many products and services daily, whether they know it or not.

lydia

“Spooky, huh?”

The galaxy’s top races of scientists, technicians, inventors, engineers, geniuses and techno-geeks flock to East Cyber City to handle Earth’s cybernetics, information technology, financial services and banking. It’s like Silicon Valley meets Wall Street…

Cubix

…With ROBOTS!

Robot Love

Folks in Cyber City do love their robots…some in more ways than one.

Megacorp is responsible for the handheld devices that replaced smartphones, the 3 W’s: Wizrds, Wi-Tris and Wands.

Wizrd_4

Wizrds are nearly indestructible and its signal cannot be blocked by any metal or alloy. However, it does not work around pudding. Among its’ capabilities are:

  • Two Way Communication
  • Short Range Teleportation
  • Hyperspeed
  • Moleular Recomposition
  • Shrink Ray
  • Temporary stasis
  • Statufication (transforming something into a statue)
  • Hologram projection
  • X-ray vision
  • Liquification
  • Calculation
  • Research
  • Laser Beam
  • Tractor Beam
  • Cloning Objects
  • Voice Conversion
  • Wiz Track(tracking other wizard signals)

-Oh yeah, and you can also make calls with them.

Wi-Tri 3

Wi-Tris do all the same thing Wizrds do, but they’re entirely hard-light, no solid parts. Also, Wi-Tris are more expensive.

Wand

Wands are for mages, ‘Nuff said.

WEST SIDE

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WakuWaku7-ShoppingBay(Arina)

West Siii-eeed!

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Cyber City’s Western region is the most populated, as well as the most culturally diverse. It is where Cyber County (aka the Cyber Suburbs) are located…

Flying Car

White picket fences around every home and a flying car in every garage.

…And is home to a wide range of humans, humanoids and compatible races/species.

Dora and Friends 1

As mentioned previously, the dominant human race on the planet are the Polypalasians, a mixture of all of Earth’s races. This, combined with generations of inter-breeding and gene-splicing, have rendered all humans a mixture of something or other.

andrew-dice-clay-01

“So basically ya put hate comics outta work. Tanks, da future!”

West Cyber City also has the greatest concentration of Mutanimals.

Jet the Hawk

“I know I can fly, but hoverboards are cool!”

Beastly Kingdom

Native to Earth, the Mutanimals were created when a radioactive meteorite crashed into a national zoo, mutating its’ occupants and making the creatures there sapient and near-humanoid, living in a tribal society. Today, the Mutanimals make up about 12% of Earth’s sapient population.

Gorilla_grodd

“I’m an avid reader of Hemingway and Asimov, and yes, I do have a tire swing in my rec room. Wanna make something of it?”

And thanks to scientists noodling with nature and DNA, there are also dragons…

cute-baby-dragon-cartoon-white-background-43696870

…And dinosaurs in Zooropa as well. Isn’t Mad Science great?

Cute-triceratops-cartoon--Stock-Vector-dinosaur-baby-cartoon

Olivia 4

Despite their relatively accelerated intellects, Mutanimals are still somewhat primitive, and several of them will gladly leave Zooropa in order to become pets (or ‘companions’, as some prefer) for human and humanoid Earthicans.

salamence

“Hey, you! LOVE ME!!”

Veenie and Marion

1st, 2nd and 3rd generation aliens (or “Space People”, as they prefer to be called) are also a common sight in Cyber City. Among the most frequently encountered Space People are Martians and Omatranians.

Mars

Martians are easily identified by their green skin and antennae. Mars is located very close to Earth, so it’s easy for Martians to get here. Mars is to Earth what Canada was to America in ancient times.

Starlee

Omatranians hail from the technologically advanced planet of Omatran, whose inhabitants are highly intelligent, possessing twice the brain capacity of humans (quite literally, an Omatranian brain has 8 lobes as opposed to the 4 lobes possessed by a human’s brain). Since Omatranians are innately proficient in the fields of science, technology, engineering and mathematics, they are in great demand to fill tech positions on Earth. You’d be hard pressed to find an Earth tech company which doesn’t have at least 2 Omatranians on it’s payroll.

Omatranians come in 2 colors: initially, all Omatranians had blue skin…

G.C.

…But years of cross-breeding with other compatible species led to the creation of a second, purple skinned Omatranian race. What’s the difference between a blue Omantranian and a purple one?

zero

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

(Well, purple Omatranians are slightly more durable than their “pure” blue counterparts and they tan better, but other than that, no difference.)

Black Building

Due to the influx of aliens emigrating to Earth, Area 51 was converted to the Extraterrestrial Immigration Center. There Space People are registered to become legal Earthican citizens, providing they sign the necessary paperwork pledging to never try to conquer the planet or attempt to enslave its’ populace.

Synaptak

“My Khoros born wife was sworn in as an Earthican citizen today, so we had to go to the E.T.I.C. How long were we there, hon?”

tini-ben-10-alien-force-23.6

“Three, maybe four minutes. Man, those lines are long!”

All of this is overseen by the President of Earth, former actress, comedienne, talk show host and superhero, Ebony Sable, seen here with Vice President Snowball.

superhero-high

She won by a landslide, securing the women vote, the African-Earthican vote, the metahuman vote and the hyper-intelligent gorilla vote!

Nerdvana: The Future Will Rock!

Back in May 2016, Nerdvana introduced you to the future society of Cyber City.

Jason and I are big fans of Utopian futures and sci-fi stuff, so we’ve both been itching to delve further into this amazing future world, so let’s delve into the fictional events which led Earth to its’ idyllic life in the distant fictional future…all the way to the year 3000.

3000

HOW WE GOT HERE…

Back in ancient times, back when people still put ice in their drinks, video games only played in 3 dimensions, pizzas were still flat and round and gangster rappers roamed the lands, things were pretty dicey. Society was sorely divided among warring factions.

debate-clipart

“Right!” “Left!”

“Black!” “White!”

“Red!” “Blue!”

“Traditional!” “Progressive!”

“Force!” “Diplomacy!”

“Isolationism!” “Globalization!”

“Uniformity!” “Diversity!”

“COKE!!” “PEPSI!!”

People were so mired in their internal conflicts that they barely noticed them the day they came.

Flying Saucers 2

No one saw them coming. They just appeared in the sky. Flying saucers. (Cliche, yes, but that’s what they were.) There were 7 of them, one for each continent. For 3 days they just hung there in the sky. People tried making contact, armies tried blasting them, but they deflected everything and didn’t budge an inch. Then on a Thursday, just as everyone was settling down to watch Cash Cab, the ships suddenly sprung to life all at once and intercepted every TV and satellite signal on the planet (including public access and the Cooking Channel). This is what they said:

a-cosmic-christmas-18

“Greetings, Earthies. We are the senior emissaries from the Democratic Order of Planets, or DOOP for short. For the past 4 days we have been monitoring your world, after receiving word that your planet existed and that there was said to be intelligent life on it (someone read this on a tabloid).”

habitable-zone

“Now for the purpose of our arrival: Your world is what you’d call a Goldilocks Planet, positioned at a safe distance from your sun and capable of supporting and sustaining numerous forms of life, a rarity among the cosmos.”

Nexus Point

“Even rarer, your planet is on a key nexus point in the galaxy, on the direct path of travel and commerce between several worlds affiliated with DOOP.”

Future Fueling Station 3

“Our plan is to establish a set of intergalactic fueling stations on your Earth, so space travelers will be able to safely re-fuel their starships while traveling between worlds, and possibly grab a snack and get some minor repair-work done while they wait. Normally, in exchange for housing these stations, we would give the host planet enormous advances in science, technology and medicine, ushering said world into a new Golden Age of enlightenment and prosperity.”

lexicon-a-cosmic-christmas-4.5

“But not the way you yahoos act! We’ve been watching you guys these past few days, and your society is all F-ed up! You use every piddling detail you can think of to act really crappy to one another! You prejudice against each other because of what color your skin is?? Please! On my planet people come in 10 colors, and guess what? NOBODY CARES!”

plutox-a-cosmic-christmas-7.5_thumb

“Yeah, you guys basically suck, but we’re reasonable beings, so we’re prepared to make you an offer: you have 365 of your Earth days, that’s one year, to clean up your collective act. Dissolve these pointless factions, unite as a people and repair the damages your stupid bickering has caused to your societies. If you do this, we’ll install the fueling stations and introduce you to the wonders of the cosmos and all that good stuff. If you don’t, well, we’re just going to vaporize your entire population, then after we’ve swept your remains away, we’ll just put the stations here anyway. Your planet can be re-terraformed, you guys can’t!”

amalthor-a-cosmic-christmas-9.01

“Oh, and one more thing: don’t try any of that Independence Day BS. Your weapons are useless against us. In fact, any act of hostility by any of you will be considered a breach of our agreement and we’ll just vaporize you right then and there! It’s a simple equation, folks: EVOLVE OR DIE. Emissaries out!”

God May Not Be Through With You Yet...

Naturally, at first there was panic in the streets.

But after the predicted strings of rioting and suicides, the intelligent people did get the idea that whatever side they happened to fall on, it wasn’t going to matter if everyone was dead. So all of the remaining populace put in what is now considered the hardest piece of work in recorded history. With just weeks to spare, World Peace was finally declared.

Google Doodle March 31st

“We…are the World.”

Nervous-person-with-a-crossbones-skull-over-his-head-Stock-Vector

It’s amazing what you can accomplish when faced with the threat of global annihilation!

Utopian City 2

The aliens were true to their word. Not only did they not wipe us out, but they did indeed treat humanity to HUGE advances in technology, science, medicine and agriculture. Over time, Earth became a technologically advanced, environmentally friendly Utopia where all the world’s nations merged into one, and crime, poverty and diseases were all systematically eliminated (the common cold was eradicated in 2034, then the rest of the illness all fell like dominoes).

spaceship

The DOOP fueling stations were installed on Earth. As a result, many alien species began regularly passing through the planet, and several of them opted to stay, making Earth their new home. Today, in the year 3000, the planet Earth is a galactic melting pot, home to numerous alien species. This is the inevitability of cleaning up the place…

Alien Tourist

Once you make the world safe and clean, you open it up for the tourists!

Nerdvana: The Future Rocks!

Today, I’m going to be discussing one of my favorite settings in fiction, the future!

FutureCity-1

Now, there are typically two types of futuristic settings; a utopian future where everything is good, and the dystopian future where everything sucks. On a side note, I still haven’t seen Mad Max: Fury Road, although people have told me that it’s good. I’ll have to see that movie sometime, but since I don’t like focusing on bleak and dark things, I’m only going to be talking about the former here. That said…

The_Time_Machine

Into the time machine!

Mario_Artwork_-_Super_Mario_3D_World

“Here we go!”

Fast Forward button

girl_tour_guide1

“Welcome to Cyber City, 3000 AD. We’ve cured all known diseases. There’s no more war, pollution or poverty. All of the world’s nations have merged into one. 75 is middle aged. People stop aging physically after age 25, so everyone is young and hot, and candy is good for you.”

La Bamba 3000

“In the year 3000…in the year 3000…”

Planet Earth has since become the great galactic melting pot (save for Mars, which is similar to how Canada used to be). Racial prejudice isn’t really a thing anymore thanks to gene splicing being legalized.

DCSHG Cheetah

“I’m a wildcat! RAWR!”

The dominant human race on Earth is now Polypolaisan, a new race that’s developed after centuries of interracial mixing and breeding. Not surprisingly, the women of this race are…

the-mask1

“…SMOKIN’!!”

Future Sim City 2

Cyber City is a cosmopolis, taking up an entire 1/6 of the Earth’s surface. Despite it being highly technologically advanced, there are numerous trees, plants, grass and wildlife, all interwoven into the city’s structure and architecture. This is partly because over the millenia, mankind has learned to care for and nurture their Mother Earth, and also because defacing or polluting the ecosystem in any way shape or form, from littering to graffiti, is punishable by death. And yes, this law is strictly enforced.

Captain-Planet-Learning-Garden-Schools-logo

“PROTECT THE ENVIRONMENT, OR I’LL %#$@ING KILL YOU!!

Let’s just take a moment to look at some of the things that Star Trek predicted which the show got right:

Star Trek communicator

flip phones and bluetooth…

Miss Martian - DCSHG

…and of course, green women being hot.

World Peace has been achieved a while ago, largely due to the machinations of the planet’s first hyper-intelligent gorilla ambassador.

winston-gameplay

“You’re welcome!”

Since war has long since been abolished, disputes are now settled via government sanctioned giant robot battles. Not only do these robo-battle competitions spare thousands of innocent lives, but they also score huge TV ratings.

gundambreaker2_cover

Coke VS Pepsi II: This Time It’s Personal. Only on Pay-Per-View!

In the year 3000, planet Earth has state of the art cutting edge technology…

Fozzie2

“How is Windows 3000 like a maximum security prison? It’s always locking up! Waka-waka-waka!”

quantum-computer

Quantum computers are as commonplace as refrigerators, and cost nearly the same. (The one in this photo is actually the size of a paperweight.) Not only do they run thrice as fast as 21st century computers, but they’re better suited for surfing the Ultranet.

u-logo

The Ultranet. The thing that replaced the thing that replaced the internet.

Also, scientists discovered magic to be an actual form of energy in 2103. Once they were able to harness and control it, magic (or mana or Etherium, as it’s now called) was added to the Periodic Table of Elements the following year.

MagicSymbolSkylanders

It’s the only element on the Periodic Table whose valence is an imaginary number.

XaosElements

Nowadays, magic is officially a branch of science, and as a result sorcerers and LARPers have since joined the fraternity of technogeeks.

Anime Witches

In the 31st century, girls are way into STEAMM: Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, Mathematics and Magic. It’s cool to be smart!

Jetsons Flying Cars

Flying cars? Yeah, we’ve got those.

jetsons-apartments

As well as picturesque structures.

jetsons-shopping-center

Say, have you ever noticed how we never saw the ground on The Jetsons? The buildings and structures were so high up, I’ve always figured that the ground looked something like this:

Post-Apocalyptic World

Maybe that’s just me.

Moving on…

Hoverboarding

Hoverboards? You bet (the real deal this time, not that phony crap that companies tried to pull back in 2015)! These hoverboards actually hover!

We’ve also got servile domestic robots called “servbots” to cater to your every need.

robot_hello_no_bg_192x256

“Good morning, sir. Your Belgian waffles and Canadian bacon breakfast is on the table. Also, you have 9 new emails. Shall I prepare the virtual sex room for you, sir?”

futurama__s_bender_by_muscleduck

“Hey! I’ve never helped anybody in my life and you know it!”

We all get our information from the Ultranet, the thing that replaced the thing that replaced the internet.

washu 2

“And with state of the art inter-dimensional portal technology (which I invented, thank you very much), everybody has plenty of closet space!”

Colonel Sanders has been cloned in order to ensure that chicken remains finger lickin’ good!

Col. Sanders

“Colonel Sanders the 35th here. 3 chicken tenders/taters ‘n’ gravy/I’ll toss in a biscuit/and a big ol’ cookie!”

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Cows, on the other hand, have gone extinct. Victims of their own deliciousness.

I could probably mention Disney’s Phil of the Future here,

Phil_of_the_Future

…but I’ve seen a few episodes, and the best thing about that show was some of the gadgets. I don’t know how a Dress Me Hoop works, but I want one.

In addition, in the year 3000 Earth has long since made contact with extra terrestrial life, largely due to Earth joining the Democratic Order of Planets (DOOP).

doop_insignia_by_viperaviator-d3arn0r

After 2 very polite rejection letters, Earth was finally admitted into DOOP in 2772, not for developing the Faster Than Light Speed (FTL) propulsion drive, the rest of the galaxy already had that, but for finally cracking the formula to make banana flavored soda.

Humans regularly interact with aliens (although the Politically Correct term for them is “Space People”). Some aliens have even set up permanent lodgings on Earth. The only stipulation is that they be registered and make a pledge to never try to conquer the planet or enslave the populace under threat of being deported, or worse, have to fill out dozens of paperwork.

Chameloen Boy

“Dude, the only thing that I’m interested in conquering is Nintendo’s ‘Punch-Out!!’. I’ve been stuck on Bald Bull forever!”

Even though I have yet to write a decent comedy series with the distant future as a setting, I still love it. Futuristic sci-fi tech is just a different take on magic, when you really think about it. Both enable one to do the impossible, you’re just doing it by pushing some buttons instead waving a wand.

Mirror Match

On a final note, if you’re going to travel through time, try to avoid running into yourself, because that would be really awkward.