By now, I’m sure most of you have seen this ad from Discover Card’s “We Treat You Like You’d Treat You” campaign, titled appropriately, “Twins”.

Now far be it for me to nitpick about a quirky spot featuring cute twins, but….

Sorry, but this would never happen. Why? Allow me to enumerate:

1. I used to work in customer service (worst job I ever had, but I digress…) and when you work in customer service, the very first thing you’re supposed to do is get the caller’s name so you can bring up their account information, so there’s no way the twin working for Discover would be speaking to her sister for that long without knowing who she was.
2. You know how when you call a company, the voice on the phone will often say, “Calls may be monitored for quality assurance”? Well, they usually are. Most companies don’t permit their employees to wait on their relatives, as they’re concerned that the employees will give them special treatment. And…
3. They should have recognized each other’s voices right away. You don’t grow up alongside of someone for your entire life and not be able to instantly recognize their voice over the phone. I’m a twin and every time my twin has called me or vice-versa, we recognize each other’s voices in a nanosecond:

Me: Hello, Mr. Goldstar. My name is Ackbar Mackbar, and I have a wonderful opportunity for you. All I require is $50.

Goldstar: Silverstar, I know it’s you. I already told you, I’m not giving you $50 for that statuette of Big Barda!

So yeah, this ad’s totally busted, but I can still give it a marginal pass since Lisa and Julie are total cutie-pies.