Pop Dream #4: Chelsea

Here we go again. Pop Dream time!

-Yeah, I know this one is REALLY late. I had planned to post Pop Dream #4 last month, but there came the usual string of dumb incidents, distractions and priorities that took precedent, add the holiday season on top of that and it became clear that getting this done wasn’t going to happen in December, but it’s ready to roll out now, so let’s do this!

The subject of today’s Pop Dream is cuter than the button on a teddy bear’s nose. She’s into singing show tunes (really!), all kinds of animals, pigtails and having ice cream for dinner. Her dislikes include early bedtimes, spilling grape juice on the computer and ironically being treated like a baby. She boasts 1,672 lifetime jumps, 32 beach toys and 5 special teddy bears and she has 7 favorite cupcake flavors–including devil’s food fudge, the forbidden fruit! The Barbie Sister we’ll be spotlighting in today’s Pop Dream is…Chelsea Roberts.

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Can we have adorably pinchable cheeks? YES, WE CAN!

OVERVIEW

Chelsea Roberts is the youngest of the 4 Barbie sisters and knows how to work her cuteness like a boss. A pwecious boss. This adorable 6-year-old always seems to come up with the exact super-cute thing to say in order to win over her sisters and their friends.

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If ya got it, flaunt it!

APPEARANCE

Each Roberts sister has a running motif which defines their appearance and style. Barbie’s is glamorous. Skipper’s is starry. Stacie’s is sporty. Chelsea’s style can be summed up in one simple word:

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CUTE.

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One can always count on the following being present on nearly every outfit Chelsea wears: pink, flowers, tutus, ballet slippers and lots and lots of bows.

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“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with bows! I own a bow or 2…or 3, or 4, or more like, 57. I don’t have a problem! I DO NOT have a problem!”

PERSONALITY

The youngest Roberts sister at age 6, Chelsea is the most innocent and free-spirited of the Fab Sisters. She is also the least pretentious. Due to her youth and rung on the Roberts totem pole, Chelsea is often seen with Stacie, though unlike the tomboyish Stacie, Chelsea is more of a girly-girl, and more whimsical.

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Stacie: Awesome! We’re going to Cabo San Cabo this weekend! There’s killer waves there and primo rock climbing!

Chelsea: Yeah! And I can pull my lower lip up over my nose!

Chelsea is left-handed, which is probably the only thing she and Ned Flanders have in common.

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“Absotively posilutely!”

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When she’s not being cloyingly cute, annoying her older siblings and doing things like being upside-down just for funsies, she’s into the usual 6-year-old activities: playing hide-and-seek, freeze tag, etc. She own a menagerie of stuffed animals (referred to as her “stuffies” or her “posse”) and even plays with dolls and dollhouses! Meta!

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“Yew done blowed muh mind!”

Chelsea is also an animal lover. She’s quite fond of the various Dreamhouse pets, but she prefers Blissa the cat most of all, wanting to hold her the most and playing dress-up with her.

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“Imagine my delight!”

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And yet, beneath her ‘baby doll’ exterior lies a surprisingly sharp mind. Chelsea’s a voracious and fluent reader; her official Mattel bio describes her as a 6-year-old prodigy. She’s been known to surprise others with unexpected displays of brilliance.

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Chelsea: Barbie, do we have a spare centrifuge lying around?

Barbie: A centrifuge? What do you want that for??

Chelsea: No reason…

-Before we go any further, I should warn you: things are about to get cutesy. If you’re not a fan of cute, I suggest you stop right here. From here on out, it’s just gonna get more adorable.

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You’ve been warned.

FUNNIER PWECIOUS MOMENTS

“Sisters Ahoy”: while on vacation on some undisclosed island paradise, the Kids’ Beach Club is holding a scavenger hunt, which Chelsea is determined to win. “If there’s a ribbon involved…don’t get in my way!” she warns on the confession couch. Chelsea later rounds up her sisters and organizes them into teams of 2, literally grabbing and pushing them into their respective groups and laying out her strategy. The looks on the other girls’ faces as their being ordered around by this little kewpie doll are priceless.

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Such a cute little dictator!

“Primp My Ride”: Barbie schemes to upgrade Ken’s car, with Skipper and Stacie most of the handiwork (and squabbling). It’s up to Chelsea to keep Ken distracted, first by using her extreme cuteness to get into Ken’s mansion and then keep him occupied by playing games, with Chelsea winning every time. We learn in this short that she’s a diva at poker.

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“Wild cards are for pre-schoolers.”

“Sticker It Up”: when faced with the prospect of making over the Dreamhouse with life-sized stickers from which 3-dimensional objects can emerge, each sister has their own interior decoration ideas. Chelsea’s is:

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“A jungle gym! With real monkeys on the monkey bars!”

Later on, after the girls have gone wild (not in that way! Clean up your minds!) with the stickers, Chelsea has somehow managed to stick herself up on the wall.

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She’s there, trust me.

“Fan Mail”: Chelsea and Stacie, upon hijacking Barbie’s blog, read the question “What should I do when a boy in my class doesn’t notice me?” Chelsea’s response: “Euucch! Be glad! Boys are disgusting! And they smell bad!” Truly the Socrates of our time.

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Answering a later question regarding not knowing how to dance, Chelsea proclaims that “Dancing’s easy. All you gotta do is shake it!”, then she proceeds to. I told you things were going to get cutesy.

“Gone, Glitter, Gone”: In this 2-part episode, there is a massive glitter shortage in Malibu and it turns out that the only person who has glitter in large supplies is Chelsea.

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“Now doesn’t that kick a little booty?”

Her sisters and even Raquelle are reduced to begging Chelsea for glitter, Godfather style, only to be rebuffed.

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“She disrespected the family.”

-Incidentally, at one point Raquelle calls Chelsea “Kelly”. This is a reference to an earlier baby sister doll that Barbie had before Chelsea’s creation.

“Don’t Bet on It”: The sisters bet each other that can each do without their favorite things (Barbie=Ken, Skipper=gadgets, Stacie=sports, Chelsea=stuffed animals) for an entire day. Chelsea sets all the events into motion by teasing Skipper after she takes a tumble while walking and gazing at her laptop.

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“Skipper and her gadgets sitting in a tree!”

Later on, Chelsea bows out of the contest after being overwhelmed by her stuffed entourage.

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‘Twas the unicorns that did her in.

CONCLUSION

Not much to say here. Chelsea’s cute. If you like cute, you’ll like Chelsea. I also like how we get the occasional glimpse of her luminous intelligence; I like the idea that there’s some complex thinking going on in that strawberry shampoo-scented head of hers.

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“This should be enough to power that centrifuge…yeah. Everything’s going according to plan.”

Next: we wind up our Barbie Sisters Pop Dream series by spotlighting the Dreamhouse pets: Blissa, Taffy and Tawny. Stay tooned.

Twinsanity’s New Groove

This is a sort of addendum to what was discussed in the 2016 Yearly Wrap-Up. I just wanted to explain where where at as far as where this blog is going and (hopefully) will be going in 2017.

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This won’t be in any way cryptic or final. However, I may ramble a bit, which I plan to address a little later on.

Both Damon and myself will explaining our plans for Twinsanity’s future, so to avoid confusion, after this passage, Damon’s thoughts will be posted in blue, while mine will be typed in purple.

First, let me say that overall, I don’t plan on making any dramatic changes to the blog. Twinsanity will still be comedy focused. It will still be animation focused and it will still be geek culture focused. None of that will change. However, I’m going to be taking a vacation from typing stuff about comic book super heroes for a while. I just feel like I’ve been talking about that particular subject far too often and I just want to to blog about other subjects besides that. I haven’t written a Cartoon Country in a while. I was on a roll there for a while, then I just kind of stopped. Not to boast, but since I pretty much saved that segment from oblivion, I really would like to get back into writing those. They’re enjoyable.

A couple of years ago, I planned to start a 2nd blog that I was going to call The Mash-Up, in which I would basically blog about whatever was on my mind at the time. Some of the current segments here, such as Toons & Tunes and Nerdvana were originally planned for that blog, but I decided that it would be easier to simply write the stuff that I planned for The Mash-Up here at Twinsanity, and that worked fine for the most part, except that as of late I feel as though far too many of my posts here have just been me picking a subject and giving a series of random thoughts about it, as opposed to Damon, who pitches TV show pilots, imaginative settings and mini synopses for animated movies and franchises. The random thoughts posts are OK, but I don’t want that to be the main thing that I’m known for doing because I know that I can be more creative than that. The random thoughts posts were only intended to be filler segments to keep the blog active while we were working on something bigger or for when each of us has an idea for the same segment in the works and we don’t want both of them appearing back-to-back. I fell into complacency with the random thoughts posts because they’re so easy to make, but they don’t require a lot of creativity, so from now on, I’m going to put a limit on the amount of time that I post the random thoughts posts. The 2 Funny, Toons & Tunes and musical Nerdvana posts won’t disappear from the site entirely; I’m still going to do them, but now they’re only going to be utilized as filler, the way that they were originally intended to be.

On a semi-related note, in regards to that Talkin’ Nerdy installment titled “What the What, PPG Reboot?!?” that I did a few months back, I hope that you enjoyed that, because that’s the last time that I’ll be talking about Powerpuff Girls 2016 on this blog. I haven’t been watching PPG 2016 after the initial 2 weeks of it’s debut, and after dedicating three posts to the show, I’ve literally run out of things to say about it. I’m tired of talking about that damn reboot!  Plus, I was never a PPG fanboy to begin with, so please stop asking me what I think of it.

This year, I’m going to find some new subject matter to focus on (hereinafter referred to as the “groove”) and these will among the main things that I’ll be writing about this year. I don’t know what it is is that I’ll be grooving on as of right now, but I’ll know what it is when I find it, or more accurately when it finds me. The What The Funny segments that I started last year is an indication of what’s to come (incidentally, I’m not done with those, not by a long shot. I’m going to cover two more Rocko’s Modern Life shorts before moving on a to a different show or franchise. I wasn’t able to write WTF #4 last month the way I had intended to, but it will definitely be written in January). The more imaginative posts take longer to make, but they make for a better end result.

So to sum up: I plan for my 2017 posts to be more focused and creatively driven. The random thoughts posts will kept to a minimum and only used as filler segments and no more comic book super hero stuff, as least not for a little while. Maybe after I’ve done a sufficient amount of other stuff, I’ll revisit that subject, but only afterwards.

Finally, with luck, 2017 will be the year that we finally began the process of transitioning Twinsanity from a blog to a website. It feels like we’ve been talking about doing that forever, but I’m hoping that this year we can at last put those plans into effect.

I’ve already outlined several of my plans for Twinsanity 2017 in the Yearly Wrap-Up, but nonetheless there are a few specifics which I feel I probably missed that need addressing.

Like how Broadway types feel about theater, I view Twinsanity as practically a living, breathing entity, something which needs to be nurtured and cared for in order for it to be its’ best. While I don’t wish to lose sight of Twinsanity’s overall focus–a site wherein Jason and I joke about, goof on, examine, comment on, analyse and generally geek out on animation and geek stuff–I’ve been wanting to expand this blog, its’ range of subject matter, its’ style and my own personal contributions to it, for some time. There are things I’d like to do more of and things I’d like to do less of.

While 2016 was notably not a very good year for me (not just for the reasons it wasn’t a good year for the planet as a whole, but for my own personal reasons as well), there were some bright spots: I don’t like to toot my own horn, but some of the posts I made in the last year or so that I’m particularly proud of were ‘Superhero City: A Visitiors’ Guide’, ‘A Touch of Magix’, ‘Hero: 108 – Fast Forward’, my recent Videots entries, the Cartoon Country I did on “Mysterious Mayhem at Mutant High!”, the TV Special Showdowns on Tabitha and Adam and the Clown Family and Nickelodeon’s Thanksgiving Fest and of course the Pop Dreams. (And no, I haven’t abandoned those: I still have 2 more Barbie Sisters Pop Dreams left to do, the former I plan to put up sometime this month, and the latter hopefully in February, after which the plan is to launch another series of Pop Dreams but center on a completely different show, franchise and set of characters.) I would like to do more posts like those aforementioned (again, I’m itching to “GO BIG” this year), realizing that the more detailed posts take time, so it may be at the risk of reducing the number of posts that I make in an average month, but that’s OK if it results in a better quality end product. Like I’m always saying, Quality over Quantity. I’d be fine with only making 1 post a month if said post kicked a lot of ass; I’d rather be brilliant and infrequent than forced and regular. (It also helps that there are 2 of us contributing material to the site, if Jason does a post a month and I do a post a month, that’s still 2 posts, which is the minimum number of posts we try to make.) Also, I haven’t done a Cartoon Country in a while, I’d like to get back to doing more of those.

Second, you may have noticed that I haven’t put up a 2 Funny, Toons & Tunes or a music video embed (hereinafter referred to as a Musical Nerdvana) in a while; my last Toons & Tunes was in September and my last musical Nerdvana was in October; this is intentional. Over the past years or so, I feel that I’ve become too dependent on those, a trap that was easy to fall into since those are so much simpler to make, so I would frequently posts those just to keep the site active and keep post counts high, but no more. I will no longer just be putting up video embeds with minimal descriptions and passing them off as my content for the month; those segments were intended to be filler segments between the bigger posts and a way to prevent 2 of the same segment from being posted back-to-back, and that’s solely how I’ll be utilizing them from now on. Expect less of those in the future, except as buffers between larger segments.

Finally, if there’s one thing I’m genuinely disappointed with myself about is that so far I haven’t been able to escape doing posts about superheroes, despite my wanting to expand my horizons from that. Last year I made a post called “The Animal Factor” which I had planned to be a tad more ambitious, sort of a Hero:108/Littlest Pet Shop/Animal Crossing kind of thing with a sci-fi twist, but it ended up being yet another superhero-wanking post. (I may make a 2nd attempt at “The Animal Factor” if I can properly get my thoughts together on it.) This coming year I’m going to make a conscious effort to reduce the number of superhero-themed posts I make; as of this writing, I’m taking a self-imposed break from superhero posts, effective until ????. I may do another one somewhere down the line, but right now I’d like to branch out and explore other subject matter. Ideally, I’d like to get a comfortable backlog of non-superhero posts, say, about 3 to 4 months worth, before I do another superhero themed post.

As a sidebar to that, as of this writing I won’t be devoting any more posts to DC Super Hero Girls. I still like the show and I’ll continue to watch it, but I won’t be doing any more blog posts about it here. As previously stated, I’m trying to expand my subject matter beyond superheroes, plus I’ve given that show enough free publicity already; I was starting to feel like this was becoming a DCSHG fan site, which was never my intent.

I’d really like to find some new, interesting subject matter to make decent posts about, i.e. a New Groove. As of this writing I don’t know what the new Groove will be, but I’m hoping it can help take Twinsanity to an all-new level, which has been my overriding goal for a while now.

Big Ideas: Looney Tunes’ Laff Riot

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Those of you who have stuck with us from the beginning may, as you read this, think “Didn’t they post this already?” Well, yes and no. I originally typed this entry while we were on Blogger; when we imported the site over to WordPress, I recently discovered that this particular article had gotten “lost” somehow; long story short, the original copy of this article is floating around in Limbo somewhere. While this idea is a couple of years old, I still think it’s a good one, so for posterity’s sake I thought I’d type it again, since the original one couldn’t be retrieved.

Hey, remember The Looney Tunes Show?

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The Looney Tunes Show was an attempt by Warner Brothers Animation to introduce the Looney Tunes franchise to an all-new audience, and as such, it did its’ job well enough, lasting 2 seasons with 52 episodes in total, however, TLTS was also a very polarizing show; while some people enjoyed it, a lot of Looney Tunes purists derided the series, feeling it lacked the teeth and anarchic glee of the original shorts, as the show lacked the slapstick and “squash-and-stretch” physics of the original cartoons. This was due to the show’s executive producers, Spike Brandt and Tony Cervone, feeling that they weren’t capable of emulating the shorts’ style. As a result, The Looney Tunes Show was more reminiscent of Seinfeld than the original theatrical cartoons.

Me? I felt The Looney Tunes Show was just OK. I liked the show, but I didn’t love it. I’d like to love a Looney Tunes show again. The Looney Tunes Show was all right, but didn’t ignite my fandom the way, say, Tiny Toon Adventures did.

That last particular thought gave me an idea: why doesn’t someone at WB make a Looney Tunes show Tiny Toons style? I came up with a hypothetical series done just that way. I call this series Looney Tunes’ Laff Riot.

Laff Riot

For those who don’t know, Laff Riot was Warner Brothers’ original concept for The Looney Tunes Show, a “true-to-the-classics” show emulating the original run of Looney Tunes shorts announced in July 2009. However, it was scrapped because the executives were not impressed, and it was later retooled into the sitcom-inspired The Looney Tunes Show which premiered on May 3, 2011 on Cartoon Network. We liked the Laff Riot concept and felt it wasn’t given a proper chance.

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“Plus the name makes me happy!”

Like on The Looney Tunes Show, Laff Riot would place nearly all of the major Looney Tunes characters in a singular setting, in this case Acme Acres. Like on Tiny Toons, Acme Acres is like a world in microcosm (where of course, EVERYTHING is named Acme), housing several diverse locations and areas to accommodate the various characters. There’s Acme Forest, home to animal characters such as Bugs, Lola, Mac and Tosh, Squeaks the Squirrel and Daffy.

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Speaking of Daffy, the Laff Riot version of Daffy would have more in common with the 30’s and 40’s versions of the character than the later 50’s and 60’s version. In short, this Daffy would be”totally nuts” rather than greedy and selfish.

As for Lola, another VERY polarizing element to The Looney Tunes Show, the Laff Riot version of the character would be a mash-up of the scatterbrained motor-mouthed version from TLTS…

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…And the hyper-kinetic version from New Looney Tunes…

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…Definitely not the bland cypher version from Space Jam

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We like the Looney Tunes Show and New Looney Tunes versions of Lola. We prefer funny Lola over hot Lola. Deal with it, ya nerds.

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I was originally going to make Pepe LePew one of the Acme Forest denizens, but I decided instead to give him the secret agent schtick from New Looney Tunes; Pepe is a spy working for an organization known as SPLAT (Special Patrol Licensed Animal Team); this idea will go over better than his previous schtick of jumping onto anything with a pulse.

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I’d just swap out Claudette Dupree for Penelope Pussycat as Pepe’s no-nonsense partner. She’d still be voiced by Kath Soucie, though.

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As on Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Production, Wile E. Coyote would be the pompous, technology-obsessed next-door neighbor to Bugs, with a vast desert-like expanse stemming from his side of the fence. This would be the gateway to the Acme Wild, home of characters such as Wile, the Road Runner, Taz, Pete Puma and Beaky Buzzard.

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The human characters would live in a suburban cul-de-sac called Acme Oaks, again not unlike on The Looney Tunes Show. As on that show, Granny would live in an old-style manor, with Tweety, Sylvester and Hector the bulldog as her pets, Yosemite Sam would live in a dilapidated shotgun shack, Witch Hazel and Gossamer would live in a Gothic style haunted house, plus I’d add Elmer Fudd there as well, since I thought it was kind of wrong how he was given such a small role on The Looney Tunes Show.

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The Laff Riot version of Elmer would be a “big time game hunter” and host of a hunting show where he shows off his hunting prowess (except for a certain wabbit who somehow keeps eluding him). Just to make things more interesting, Fudd here would also be a millionaire, owning “a mansion and a yacht”.

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Porky, whose always been a “border line case”, would live on the outskirts of Acme Oaks adjacent to Acme Farms, where Foghorn Leghorn, the Barnyard Dawg and Henery Hawk reside.

Now, you may be wondering:

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Aside from 1 or 2 changes you made, how is this different from The Looney Tunes Show?

I’m glad I pretended that you asked that. What sets Laff Riot apart from The Looney Tunes Show is its’ tone and presentation. Laff Riot would a variety of shorts per show, ranging from 90 seconds to 6 minutes in length, some with a common theme and some completely unrelated (you never know–anarchy!).

In addition, between the shorts there would also be song segments, the Merrie Melodies.

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These would be the same as the ones from The Looney Tunes Show. No need to fix something that isn’t broken.

There would also be a recurring segment called “One-Shot Wonders”. These would present the characters in more unusual settings, like genre parodies or period pieces. (The One-Shot Wonders would be rendered in CGI to show that they’re different from the “actual” continuity.) There would also be the occasional one-shot featuring new, never-before-seen characters.

The other major difference would be that Laff Riot would contain slapstick. A lot of it. There would be “squash-and-stretch” gags, Bugs donning disguises and breaking the 4th wall (Bugs could even freeze the action to address the audience a la Zack Morris; to keep him special, Bugs would be the only character who could do this), Elmer and Yosemite Sam would once again wield their trademark guns, but now they’d fire cartoon props and effects such as popping corks, paint balls, suction darts, land mines, springboard boxing gloves, custard cream pies, etc., Witch Hazel casts a lot of spells, Gossamer causing collateral damage with his massive strength, lots of “BOOM”s, “CLANG”s and “POW”s and falling anvils.

Finally, Laff Riot would feature character-specific sign-offs; they would depict a different character opening the WB trademark shield like a vault door and giving a farewell greeting to the audience. Some would be the ones previously used in Tiny Toon Adventures and The Looney Tunes Show, others would be new and some would be specific to a particular episode. Among the recurring sign-offs”:

TLTS Signoff

  • Porky: “Th-th-th-That’s All, Folks!”
  • Bugs: “And that’s the end.”
  • (Bugs and Squeaks) Squeaks: (chatters incomprehensibly) Bugs: “Eh, what he said.”
  • Daffy: (Hammy Shakespearean style) “Parting is such sweet sorrow.”
  • Daffy: “Hey! Wanna see my butt tattoo??” (The vault door slams shut on him) “Woo-hoo!”
  • Daffy: “It’s been surreal!” (He pulls out a TV remote and switches the image off.)
  • Lola: “‘That’s all what?” What are ‘folks’? (Points off-screen) “He’s crazy.”
  • Lola: (a la Humphrey Bogart) “That’s all, folks!”
  • Lola: (leaning in the doorway) “That’s all, f…” (She falls from the doorway and lands off-screen with a thud)
  • Lola: (a la Tracey Ullman) “GO HOME!”
  • Elmer: (in full hunter’s garb) “It’s been a bwast!” (He drops his rifle and it blasts a hole though his hat. He shrugs and gives his trademark Fudd laugh.)
  • Sam: “It’s over. Now git!”
  • (Bugs and Lola) Bugs: “Say goodnight, Lola.” Lola: “Goodnight, Lola.”
  • (Bugs and Porky) Porky: Th-th-th-th-th-th…(Bugs covers his mouth) “That’s a wrap!”
  • Taz: &%$#@#^%^#! (gestures as though he’s saying “That’s all, folks!”)
  • Taz: “Show over!” (He proceeds to devour everything on the screen until he’s left standing in a black expanse, then plummets off-screen.)
  • Speedy: “iHasta luego, amigos!” (“See you later, friends!”)
  • Mac & Tosh: (in unison) “That’s all..Oh, after you. No, after you. After you. After you. After you. After you…(etc.)
  • Sylvester: (Roars like Leo the MGM lion, then puts his paw over his mouth) “‘Scuse me!”
  • Witch Hazel: (as though she’s reciting an incantation) “That’s all folks, that’s all folks, that’s all folks!” (She vanishes in a puff of purple smoke, hair pins and bat wings.)
  • Pepe: “Au revoir, mon petit potato du couch!”
  • Pete Puma: Duh, let the show begin!”

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Hey, I’d watch a show like this, wouldn’t you? How about it, Warner Brothers? Make this happen.

Talkin’ Nerdy: Hey, Nonny-Nonny!

If you’re a Tiny Toons fan, you’ve no doubt seen the short from the Special Classes Day episode, The Just-Us League of Supertoons.

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In the short, Plucky Duck (once again in the role of superhero Batduck)  and his sidekick Hamton J. Pig as Decoy the Pig Hostage (I love how on-the-nose that name is) get an invite from Buster Bunny (aka Superbun) to join his elite squad of heroes, the Just-Us League of Supertoons.

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Said League is chock full of Tiny Toon parodies of DC characters:

  • Babs Bunny/Wonder Babs (Wonder Woman)
  • Byron Basset/Aqua-Mutt (Aquaman)
  • Li’l Beeper/Li’l Dasher (The Flash)
  • Fifi LaFume/Scentanna (Zatana)
  • Sweetie Bird/Pink Canary (Black Canary)
  • Shirley the Loon/Hawkloon (Hawkgirl)

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In the short, the League initially rejects Batduck and Decoy for not possessing any super-powers, just a pile of wacky gadgets…

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Not to mention being amazing clog-dancers.

That is, until arch-villain Wex Wuthor (Montana Max) shows up and tries to drain the Leaguers of their powers, wherein Batduck’s lack of powers ultimately saves the day, earning he and Decoy key positions in the League…as parking valets.

A funny short, however, there is a hiccup: The League rejects Batduck because he has no super powers, BUT….

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…One cape who did make it into the League was Calamity Coyote as Keen Arrow, a spoof of Green Arrow. Green Arrow’s m.o. is similar to Batman’s: he’s another rich guy with cool toys. So the Just-Us League passes on one toon for having no powers, yet they accepted another toon who likewise has no powers. Kind of undermines the premise a little.

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“That does Not. Make. Sense!”

Really, all the writers could’ve done was turn that into a one-off joke, like have Batduck say, “Keen Arrow doesn’t have any powers, and he’s in the League!” to which Superbun could’ve said something like, “We have a one-non-powered hero requirement, and that position is already filled. Sorry!”

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“I certainly hope someone got fired for that blunder!”

On a related rambling, something similar bugged me about the DC Super Hero Girls ‘Super Hero High’ special. From the series’ start, Barbara Gordon only interns at Superhero High in the IT department.

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Easy as Raspberry PI

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In the special, we finally learn why Babs has yet to don the cape and cowl of Batgirl: she isn’t a student at Super Hero High because she feels she’s not worthy of being a student, because she has no powers. In an early scene, Cheetah derides Barbara for being a “Nonny”, as in “Non-Powered Person”, basically this universe’s equivalent to being a Muggle or a Nomag.

Again, this would be fine, EXCEPT….

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…There are already non-powered students attending Super Hero High!

Heck, Batgirl isn’t even the only non-powered heroine among the main cast. Katana doesn’t have any super powers, just mad samurai skills and a razor-sharp sword (which likely isn’t even possessed here, given that this is a kids’ show). Harley Quinn doesn’t have any powers either, unless we’re going by Quackerjack’s rules and are counting wackiness as a super power. Throughout the entire 60 minutes of that special, I kept waiting for someone to point out to Babs that Harley, Katana, Catwoman and Lady Shiva don’t have powers yet they’re students, but no one did.

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-Which is not to say that Batgirl isn’t worthy of being in Super Hero High, because she most certainly is.

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“‘Nonny’? I prefer, Hyper-Advanced, Technologically Gifted Mega-Genius!”

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“Hey! That’s my line, Red!”

 

Beyond the Background: Funnyman

Today Beyond the Background looks at a superhero character created by Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel.

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No, not the one with the blue tights and the big red ‘S’, the one with the polka-dotted clown pants and the big comedy mallet. Today’s Beyond the Background is all about Siegel and Shuster’s other superhero creation…Funnyman.

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Look! Up in your grill! Is it a squirting flower? Is it a custard cream pie? Is it a springboard boxing glove? NO! It’s FUNNYMAN!!

Who’s Funnyman? It’s story time:

In 1948, Superman related merchandise was making a fortune for its’ publisher, but Superman’s creators felt under-compensated. Also, there was a lawsuit against their employer, so Siegel and Shuster had to look elsewhere for a paycheck. They approached Magazine Enterprises publisher Vincent Sullivan, who had published their first Superman story, and thus led to the origin of Funnyman.

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Funnyman was the alter-ego of TV comedian Larry Davis, with a penchant for ‘acting out’ in public and using comedy props, practical jokes and cornball gags in place of cosmic superpowers. Davis’ manager, agent and sometimes love interest Julie Farrell had arranged for Davis, in the costume he’d later adopt as Funnyman: big floppy comedian’s jacket, big red bow tie, polka-dot pants and big floppy shoes, plus a putty nose instead of a mask or cowl…

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“I tawt a taw a putty nose!”

…for a publicity stunt in which Davis would foil a staged crime. Some crossed wires and mixed signals would lead to Davis facing down and thwarting a real criminal, and Davis took a liking to feats of daring-do, thus giving rise to the “Daffy Daredevil”, to Julie’s dismay (she’d rather he stick to stuff that earned a check). Funnyman used comedy as his power weapon, eventually padding out his arsenal with a ton o’ gags, ranging from the efficient to the downright ridiculous, he bolted through the streets on his trusty gadget-laden Trixcycle, he had a flying Jet Jalopy and eventually gained his own HQ called “Funny Manor”, with each room filled with wacky crook-catching traps.

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Funnyman was basically like The Joker, only on the good guy’s side and in no way scary.

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Funnyman didn’t catch on like Siegel and Shuster’s more famous creation, folding after only 6 comic book issues and a brief newspaper strip stint, but he was the first recorded Jewish American superhero, so there’s that.

So for all the whining I read on YouTube about Harley Quinn’s presence on DC Super Hero Girls:

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“Why is Harley Quinn there?” “Harley’s not a hero!” “She can’t be a hero!” “Why is she a hero?” “Harley Quinn’s a bad guy!” Harley Quinn shouldn’t be a superhero at Superhero High!”

I say, shaddap! She can be a hero, and Funnyman is proof of that, Harley’s just reiterating the same shtick that Funnyman employed 69 years ago.

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I like Harley Quinn as a heroic prankster who’s not the Joker’s doormat. Deal with it, nerds.

Since Funnyman was created for a competing publication, he’s technically not a DC character, so it seems unlikely that he’ll turn up in the DC Universe one day. (The character did make a sort-of appearance in issue #5 of a Super Friends comic in which a TV “funny man” named Larry Davis–who resembled Funnyman’s true identity–hosted a charity fundraiser staffed by the Trinity of Wonder Woman, Batman and of course, Superman; and the plans to revive Funnyman were considered quite seriously at one stage during the 1990’s when comedian Richard Belzer…

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Yeah, that Richard Belzer.

…was in the planning to portray the Daffy Daredevil for a proposed Funnyman motion picture that never materialized.) I think that’s a shame, cause I actually think Funnyman was kind of cool.

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Yes, I think a comedy clown superhero is a cool concept. If you’re not going to have super powers, then you need to have something just as good to compensate. Some of the popular examples are super-genius intelligence (complete with an awesome array of high-tech gadgets), mad martial arts skills or a quiver of trick arrows. It could be because I have a natural attraction to all things zany, cartoonish and comedic, but I think the power of wacky and laughter could make for fun superhero fodder. Nowadays, all of the characters who employ comedy, silliness, jokes and pranks as their arsenal are villains, like The Trickster…

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“I’ll beat the shtick out of you, Flash!”

…Or Darkwing Duck villain Quackerjack of the Fearsome Five.

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“Excuse me, I’m out of my mind at the moment.”

Why can’t we have a hero with the power of Zany?

-And yes, I’m counting zany as a super power. Speaking of Quackerjack, in the Darkwing Duck episode “Jail Bird”, Negaduck uses the mystical Eye of Quackzoquatl to steal the powers of his fellow Fearsome Five teammates so “somebody will finally have these powers who’s got the brains to use ’em!” Once stripped of their powers (and diminished to pocket size), Quackerjack is taking it worse than the others; he’s utterly broken.

Quackerjack: You ruined me!!!!

Negaduck: What are you cryin’ about?! You didn’t have any powers to begin with!

Quackerjack: You…stole..my WACKINESS!!!

Negaduck: I did not! (Then immediately afterwards bursts into insane guffawing.)

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“So, yeah, Funny is a super power now! Deal with it, ya noids!”