Player Two Start!: A Salute to Battle Circuit

Today Player Two Start pays tribute to one of Capcom’s lesser known and less celebrated titles, Battle Circuit.

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For those who don’t know, Battle Circuit (or Batoru Saakitto as it’s known in Japan)  is an action “beat ’em up” game developed and published by Capcom for the CPS-2 arcade hardware for Japan and Europe in 1997. Taking place in an alternate future earth, the game revolves around a group of bounty hunters who must capture the mad scientist Dr. Saturn and secure a sophisticated computer disc carrying a program known as the “Shiva System”. The game contains comic-like characters in a futuristic science fiction setting.

Intro time:

Battle Circuit‘s arcade cabinet provided support for up to four simultaneous players who can each assume the role of five possible characters. The five playable characters are all super-powered bounty hunters who each possess their own unique attacks and Battle Download ability. Though each of the character’s real names are mentioned in their individual character profiles during the opening demo, they are mostly referred to by their codenames, each indicating a physical attribute and corresponding color.

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Taste the Rainbow!

They are:

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“No problem!”

Brian Bruno, aka Cyber Blue: A seasoned bounty hunter with several cybernetic attachments to his body, giving him the ability to discharge electricity and project energy from his fists. Cyber Blue makes a cameo appearance in Project X Zone 2 in Captain Commando’s Solo Unit attack.

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“Your other high-voltage hero!”

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“Alright!”

Andrey Mishucin, aka Captain Silver: A highly accomplished bounty hunter who can stretch and shape his body at will. His powers give him the ability to project ice particles from his body, as well as create a number of objects from his suit, morph into a cannon and even transform into a chair and sit on himself. Because of the vast nature of his powers, they will threaten to overwhelm him if he should ever lose concentration.

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“Ooooooooh, Freak-Out!”

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Diana Martines, aka Yellow Iris, called Yellow Beast in the original Japanese version): A part-time fashion model whose feral appearance gives her access to a number of clawing and agility-based techniques. She is also skilled with a whip and is accompanied by her pet fox “Fin”.

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Not that Finn.

Yellow Iris makes a cameo appearance in Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 as a DLC costume for Felicia.

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“Oh, baby!”

Pinky, aka Pink Ostrich: A large, sentient, pink ostrich with an eye patch and jewel necklace who is always accompanied by her owner, a young girl named Pola Abdul.

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“I get it!”

Purportedly, she is the “only ostrich in the world who can fly”, and attacks with an assortment of aerial and spinning techniques. Yeah, one of the bounty hunters is a bird, but we’re not gonna make any lame bird jokes.

OK, maybe one:

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Alien Green (real name unknown): An alien creature of unknown origin who resembles a large Venus flytrap with leg-like roots and a large eye in its abdomen. Its attacks mostly center around its vine-like arms, which it can quickly swing to create whirlwinds, as well as grab opponents and slam them against the ground. Sorry, whenever I see this thing I expect it to shout “FEED MEEE!”

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“Ew.” “Seriously?” “So gross.”

The Plot: Taking place in the future year 20XX, Battle Circuit follows the exploits of a group of super-powered bounty hunters as they apprehend wanted criminals (identified by special serial numbers) in the city of Neo Koba. The game begins with player attempting to apprehend criminal 9696X, a scientist named Doctor Saturn (who resembles Freakazoid! villain The Lobe with a ring around his head and a Dick Dastardly mustache) and his blob-like sidekick aboard his spacecraft orbiting Earth.

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Even by super-villain standards, this guy is no looker.

After the battle, the character selected by the player returns to his employer, Harry,

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“Pick a card!”

No, not that Harry, but that would’ve been awesome.

….And is promptly given another assignment to capture the leader of the “Delete Gang”, Johnny Fever,

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“BOOGER!!!”

No, not that Johnny Fever, though that too would’ve been awesome.

…Who holds a valuable floppy disk in his possession. The bounty hunter then confronts Johnny at his disco hideout and learns that the disc contains a malicious computer program known as the “Shiva (Tentei) System”, which is capable of controlling all computerized systems in the world. After selecting one of the available characters, players must travel through various levels- fighting through a variety of enemies from the Delete Gang- to obtain the disc and claim their bounty. Stages like this:

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Kind of looks like a missing stage from TMNT: The Arcade Game, doesn’t it?

And whatever this is.

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Seriously, what the actual what??

Players must progress through a number of levels made up of horizontally scrolling screens filled with enemy characters that must be defeated using a combination of attacks and movement abilities each character utilizes. Every character is given a selection of these abilities that can be expanded as game play progress by purchasing special “upgrade discs” after the completion of each level using coins obtained by defeating enemies.

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“We can give you special upgrades and enhancements, but you can never use any 3rd party software ever again and it’ll cost you the price of a new car!”

These techniques are often a combination of either of the two action buttons and the joystick, and can add additional varieties to a given character’s arsenal. A player must attack enemies until their health (indicated by a bar under the player’s when the enemy is attacked) is reduced to zero and they are thus knocked out. If a player’s health bar is depleted, they will also become knocked out and must use up one life to continue. If all of a player’s lives are depleted in this fashion, the game will end unless more credits are purchased.

There are also special techniques called “Battle Downloads”, which can be used by pressing both action buttons while jumping, resulting in the player and his allies (if any are present) gaining a certain attribute, the effect of which is unique to each character. Cyber Blue, for example, can use his Battle Download “Power Up” to increase the amount of damage dealt by attacks, while Yellow Iris’ “Speed Up” increases attack speed. A character will start with a stock of two of these techniques to use per life, and can obtain more from capsules scattered throughout the levels, up to a maximum of five.

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If you’ve never seen, heard of played this game, I wouldn’t be surprised. Battle Circuit saw a speedy translation effort that effectively made the title available in both Japan and parts of Europe on the same day. Though there are no game play differences between the Japanese and other language versions of the game, a few pieces of Japanese dialogue were omitted from the European release. The game was not released in North American arcades or any other part of the world after its initial release. I remember reading about Battle Circuit in an issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly (back when that was a thing) and looking for the game in arcades, only to discover it was harder to find than this guy.

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I would have never played it myself if our brother Chaz didn’t have an emulator. It helps to have a hardcore gamer in the family.

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So here’s to you, Battle Circuit. This game was weird and wacky, but I’m a fan of weird and wacky. BC never received the exposure or fan base that titles like Street Fighter and Mega Man did, but it gave me some hours of enjoyment. It was just goofy, imaginative, dumb fun, and for that, we at Twinsanity salute you.

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“SAAAAAAAA-LUTE!”

2 Funny/Toons & Tunes: MAD – That’s What Super Friends Are For

Today we have a “2-fer” (because it falls into 2 of our categories). The following sketch comes to us courtesy of the late Cartoon Network animated series MAD. It’s a musical number about the plight of being one the DC super heroes who aren’t the DC Trinity. Enjoy “That’s What Super Friends Are For”.

 

Pop Dream #3: Stacie

According to the ol’ clock on the wall….

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…It’s time for another Pop Dream.

-First, apologies again for the wait. I know the wait for new entries can get kind of long, and that can be annoying, but keep in mind, there are only a finite number of these and I try to space them out. Also, due to extraneous circumstances (i.e., life and stuff) lately I have slightly less free time to blog the way I’d like to. Part of why these take so long to produce is because I’m meticulous and I like for my entries to be as close to perfection as possible. I could either rush to get these out, and they’d be really sloppy and I’d hate them, or I can take my time and do them well. I choose to do the latter. I’m not going to phone in a Pop Dream just for the sake of doing one. Now, on to the popping…

The Fab Sister we’re covering in today’s Pop Dream is an extreme sports lover who keeps everyone on their toes with her hyperkinetic energy, drill sergeant-like scheduling and entirely honest views on boring activities. She easily fits in with the guys, but doesn’t get why Skipper seems to be obsessed with them. Today’s Pop Dream is all about……Stacie Roberts.

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Yes, she can rock plaid.

OVERVIEW

Anastasia “Stacie” Roberts is the second eldest of Barbie’s three younger sisters, Stacie lives with Barbie, Skipper, Chelsea, Blissa, Taffy and Tawny in the Dreamhouse. She’s a bit of a tomboy, and a spunky Atta-Girl; basically pure energy in shorts. She enjoys skateboarding, snowboarding, surfboarding, making schedules and bringing order to chaos. Stacie would probably love Fuel TV, if it still existed, that is.

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Big ups to my fallen homey….I miss you, man!

Her dislikes are tardiness, messiness, wearing foo-foo dresses and people not giving 100 percent (grrrr!). Stacie has 156 things on her to-do list, owns 514 soccer goals (so far!),  3 pairs of swim fins and 1 awesome surfboard.

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Stacie’s significant other

APPEARANCE

True to her tomboyish nature, Stacie is the least frilly dresser among the Roberts Sisters, preferring T-shirts, tank tops and jerseys to dresses, and is rarely seen without her trademark ponytail.

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“Boom!”

However, she still manages to squeeze some of that trademark adorable Roberts pinkness into her daily appearance. Hearts and stuff still abound.

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The fruit doesn’t falls far from the glittery tree, after all.

PERSONALITY

As previously stated, Stacie’s the spitfire of the Dreamhouse. Though spunkier and more rough-and-tumble than the average fashion doll, Stacie’s still a Barbie sister through and through. She has a skateboard, but she puts glitter on it.

Nothing slows her down. If someone could harness Stacie’s energy, they could power Las Vegas for a month. When she’s not surfing, skateboarding, playing soccer or some other sport…

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“SPORTS GO SPORTS! YEEEEEEAHHH! NUMBUH ONE!!

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…She’s busy organizing activities and calling the shots for the Dreamhouse’s latest shenanigan. Even Barbie lets Stacie make the play when she’s on a roll. You can’t stand in the way of a hurricane. Although she sometimes is annoyed with her younger sister Chelsea, and frequently gets annoyed by her older sister Skipper,

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It’s worth it just to see this expression.

Stacie retains a P.M.A….

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“That’s a Positive Mental Attitude…”

and her boundless energy to keep things running, sometimes even smoothly.

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Barbie: Is it soccer season again already?

Stacie: Dude, soccer’s a global sport. It’s always soccer season somewhere!

 

FUNNIER MOMENTS

“Fan Mail”: Stacie and Chelsea hijack their big sis’ blog and take their own stabs at answering questions from Barbie’s many, many, many, many fans. To the query “What do you do when your B.F.F. copies everything you wear?” Stacie responds with:

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“Wear your underwear on the outside and see if she copies that. if she does, hey, she’s a really cool friend.” You know, there’s actually some twisted logic in that.

“Sisters Ahoy”: Barbie is paired with Stacie for the Kids’ Beach Club scavenger hunt.

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Not only does this flying comet in a ponytail drag Barbie along for the ride on a jet ski…

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But she refuses to be put out of action after being swallowed by a giant oyster. She merely makes an understated “A little help?” before Barbie tickles the oyster (who knew they had nerve glands?) to spit Stacie out.

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Undaunted, Stacie brings with her numerous pearls for her troubles. I told you nothing slows this kid down.

“Sticker it Up”: The sisters redecorate the Dreamhouse with mail-order life-size stickers which become real 3-dimensional objects once they’re stuck up (I love cartoons!).

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Upon noticing that one of the items is a trampoline, Barbie notes that “They messed up the order,” Stacie agrees, saying that she wanted said trampoline in hot pink.

Later in the short, Stacie is involved in a little back-and-forth with Chelsea. sticker-1

This clever little bit involves Stacie putting up a sticker of a blue beanbag chair, only for Chelsea to place her own sticker of a pink wooden chair decorated with flowers right over it. An annoyed Stacie puts another blue beanbag sticker over Chelsea’s sticker, Chelsea counters with another copy of her pink chair sticker, and this leads into a full-blown one-upsmanship contest between the 2 of them.

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By the end of this pas-a-deux, there’s a huge honking chunk of these stickers angling from the wall, then the pile inevitably succumbs to gravity and plops onto the floor by the girls’ feet. They pull the stickers from the floor to reveal a single chair which is a hybrid of both their choices: a pink beanbag chair decorated with flowers. Stacie and Chelsea silently shrug to one another. It’s mostly visual.

“Happy Bathday to You”: The sisters scramble to give their pets Taffy, Tawny and Blissa their monthly bath. As you can expect, the 3 of them don’t particularly want to have a bath, and so comical highjinks ensue. Stacie assigns each of her sisters to corral a specific pet while she “monitors the logistics from the front base”, in other words, as she confesses on the couch, she’s trying to avoid bath time herself, right before she passes out from a whiff of her own stinky armpits. When the sisters finally trap the pets, Stacie mocks them…

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“HA-HA!”

…Only to fall into the tub herself.

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“Uhhh…never mind.”

At the episode’s end, when the pets are outside getting themselves dirty again, Stacie is giddily playing in the dirt too. It’s a nice change of pace to see a girl happy to be dirty and stinky.

CONCLUSION

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It took me a few episodes to get a proper bead on Stacie; I wasn’t sure what to make of her at first, but to update that story, she’s currently my second favorite Barbie sister after Skipper. She’s a tomboy, but still a girly tomboy; I’m glad the producers didn’t go the obvious route and make Stacie a more typical angry, tough, pink-rejecting tomboy like Spinelli from Recess or Buttercup from The Powerpuff Girls. Nothing against those characters, I like them both, but it’s refreshing to get a tomboyish character who still doesn’t mind being a little feminine. Her energy and attitude are infectious as well; I’m ironically a very lazy and sarcastic person, yet I tend to gravitate towards perky, upbeat characters. Stacie is the active, sporty “Go team!” extrovert that I never was.

Let’s wrap up this tribute with a non-jock’s take on a sports song.

 

 

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“Uhhh…’Kay.”

Next is Chelsea. Keep on Pop Dreaming.

 

 

 

 

What The Funny #3: Skid Marks

It’s that time again! Time for the next installment of What The Funny with another breakdown one of my favorite Rocko’s Modern Life shorts.

filburt

“I’m nauseous. I’m nauseous. I’m nauseous…”

Before we begin, I’d like to once again apologize for the wait. I know that the gaps between these segments tend to get kind of long, but that’s mainly because 1) there are other things that demand my attention, and 2) I’m a ruthless perfectionist when it comes to my own work. Some of you out there may (understandably) be a little annoyed by the wait, but if I churned out the WTF segments in an assembly line fashion in order to get them out daily or even weekly, they’d be really half-assed, I wouldn’t like them, and I don’t think that you would either. No, the more detailed stuff takes longer. I know that I’m not fast, but I like to think that the quality of my work speaks for itself. Plus, like I said earlier, I’m only doing a select few of these, and so I’d prefer to space them out.

Having said all of that, on with the fun!

Skid Marks

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Synopsis: Rocko is pulled over by the police because of a missing gas cap and a squirrel hiding inside his car. With Rocko’s car impounded, he has to suffer the unspeakable torment of the Department of Motor Vehicles to retrieve it.

Highlights:

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A police standoff turns into a tasteful soft shoe shuffle.

Brace yourself, for you are now entering a place where even the most rational person can be driven insane…the Department of Motor Vehicles!!

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The horror….the horror…

Rocko and Spunky walk to the DMV and Rocko asks Spunky to wait outside as he walks in the building. As he waits in a long line, the police officer announces through the loudspeaker that Spunky should be picked up at the security desk. Rocko picks up the dog and ties him up outside; though he reassures Spunky that he will be back for him, and immediately afterwards, we see another dog’s skeleton tied to a leash!

Rocko runs into Filburt (his first appearance in the series, btw) who says that the computers give off harmful radiation and that the metal plate in his head is vibrating. Filburt sounds a bit like Sol from the Jerky Boys here. Filburt then advises Rocko “When you take your driver’s test, don’t get the fat guy!”

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Rocko makes his way to the eye exams room and sits on the chair to read the chart in front of him. When he reads the last line (“The doctor is sneaking behind you. He’s a Madman. Get out while you still can.”), he finds that the chair is really the doctor, a creepy guy with four wheels for feet. He becomes startled and stops in midair with his eyes enormously protruding. As he remains in his exaggerated display of fright, the doctor immediately gets him to hold his position; the scare tactic is revealed to be a rather efficient way of allowing him check his patient’s eyeballs.

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After the doctor finishes Rocko’s eye exam, the doc warns Rocko “Don’t get the fat guy! (evil laugh)”.

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Pig Driving Instructor: Don’t step on the white ones….Hhhhhhot lllaaaaaaaaavvaaaaaaaa….PINEAPPLES!!

Rocko then goes to room 101 to attend a driving class, which is being taught by a very loud German soldier cat (voiced by Tom Kenny)

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The class is made to watch a drivers’ education film “Red Concrete” (a classic!) Where they learn the RULES OF THE ROAD! I love how even the instructional film warns “Don’t get the fat guy!”.

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When Rocko falls asleep, he wakes up to find a diploma of traffic school taped to his face. He later waits outside for the driving instructor, who turns out to be a chubby elephant.He tests Rocko into driving vicariously through an obstacle course. When it doesn’t go as well, the instructor finally gives in and gives Rocko a form for his license. Rocko takes the form to the front desk to Chuck and Leon. He tells them that he had the fat guy, and then we get the payoff for this running gag:

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The perfect payoff to a perfect gag.

Near the end of the short, we get this exchange between a young boy cat and his father, which parodies the conclusion of Frank Capra’s 1946 film It’s A Wonderful Life:

Boy: Daddy, Daddy, teacher tells me every time someone drives with a gas cap on, an angel gets its wings!
Father: Your teacher’s full of snot!

Heh. You know that if this weren’t on Nickelodeon, he wouldn’t have said “snot”.

Thoughts:

This is another one of the great Rocko shorts. A short about the DMV is an unusual subject for a kids’ cartoon, as Nick’s target audience isn’t old enough to drive, but anyone who’s ever had to go to the DMV for any reason knows what a madhouse that building is and what a frustrating experience it can be. This short takes the drudgery and frustration of that experience and ramps it up to a comical level, which is what Rocko’s Modern Life does best.

My rating: 4 out of 5.

Next time: Who’s For Dinner? Stay funny.

Nerdvana: Castles in the Air (aka Dee-Luxe Apartments in the Sky)

Today’s Nerdvana focuses on one of my favorite fantasy/sci-fi locations: the futuristic self-contained floating city.

The rent on these things must be reedonkulous!

The rent on these things must be reedonkulous!

Two of my favorite examples of this are from the comics. From DC, we have Supertown.

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Though it’s official name is Celestial City, it was named Supertown by the young Gods known as the Forever People. Supertown is a vast flying structure that constantly glides over the skies of the planet New Genesis.

Supertown is the only technologically advanced structure on the otherwise unspoiled paradise planet of New Genesis, and is designed in such a way as to in no way interfere with the planet’s ecosystem. all the Gods have abodes in the city. And it is in the towers of this city that the Chamber of the Source is located, where the Highfather communes with the Eternal Source by watching the flaming messages written on the Wall of Prophecy.
The entire city is riddled with statues, paintings and other beautiful works of art which echo the Gods’ celebration of life and happiness. In fact the city itself is so beautiful that visitors often stare in awe of the majestic complex, rightfully believing they have come to heaven.

The colors, dude, the colors! There's reddy-purpley, orangey-pinky, bluey-whitey-silvery, greeny-magenta-purpley...Bro, I an so baked!

The colors, dude, the colors! There’s reddy-purpley, orangey-pinky, bluey-whitey-silvery, greeny-magenta-purpley…Bro, I am so baked!

The city possesses impressive mobility, and is capable of interstellar travel, demonstrated when Darkseid’s use of the Micro Mark cause the destruction of New Genesis. The Supertown was simply jettisoned off of the planet awaiting its doom and relocated to another planet as New Genesis was rebuilt.

-Plus, Supertown is such a cool name. It’s just fun to say. Try it. Supertown! Rolls off the tongue like honey on biscuits.

On the Marvel side, there’s the City of Attilan.

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Gonna fly now!

 

Attilan is the ancestral home of the Inhumans, a highly advanced offshoot of the human race. About seven thousand years ago, the Inhumans grew tired of centuries of persecution by their more primitive parent race, and decided to create a place of refuge for themselves. Under the leadership of King Myran, the Inhumans chose as a site for their city a small island in the northern Atlantic Ocean, located about two hundred miles southwest of Iceland. The city, which took several decades to complete, was named Attilan, a name derived from Atlantis, the former pinnacle of civilization on Earth that had vanished beneath the sea about three millennia before. Attilan has been the sole center of the Inhuman population ever since.

Attilan was relocated from its’ original location in the Himalayas, to escape the effects of Earthly pollution and disease. Attilan is currently located in the “Blue Area of the Moon,”

 

Dark side of the...well, you know.

Dark side of the…well, you know.

 

….nestled in the ruins of an ancient city built by the alien Kree whose technology gives the “Blue Area” its own artificially created atmosphere.

Now, this may come as a shock, but I’m a bit of a geek who’s not the most social person in the world.

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As such, I’ve often fantasized about there being a magical, high-tech place where myself, the mutants, the mages, the mega-minds, the super artistes and other ‘special people’ could dwell, live and just plain be unique and different, enjoying all of the modern amenities away from all of those pesky normals.

Pity the name Astro City is taken.

Pity the name Astro City is taken.

But you know, maybe it’s high time the Specials reconnected with the natives down below. Maybe they’ve lived in isolation from the outside world too long. Maybe the Uppers and the Lowers should come together. Let’s see what it’s like down there.

"'MURICA! #$%* YEAH!!"

“‘MURICA! #$%* YEAH!!”

 

"Thug Liiife!"

“Thug Liiife!”

Never mind, I take it all back. We’re better off up here. Pour me another sparkling nectar.