Cartoon Country: Bionic Six

Today I’ll be looking back at a largely forgotten but interesting cartoon from the late 1980s, Bionic Six.

bionic-six-team

Just hangin’ out with the family, busting bad guys’ heads…

Bionic Six is an American-Japanese animated television series that aired from 1987 to 1989. It was produced by TMS Entertainment (which had previously worked on Dokonjō Gaeru and Hasbro’s Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light) and distributed, through first-run syndication, by MCA TV, years before the latter company became NBCUniversal Television Distribution. Renowned Japanese animation director Osamu Dezaki was involved as chief supervising director, and his distinctive style (as seen in Golgo 13 and Cobra) is evident throughout all its episodes.

The title characters of the series are a family of machine-enhanced human beings possessing unique powers after being augmented with bionic technology. Each family member is given specific bionic powers, and thus they form a superhero team called the Bionic Six.

Here’s the show’s intro:

 

slappy-squirrel

“That’s nice singing. They remind me of Up With People.”

In the near future (some unspecified decades after 1999), Professor Dr. Amadeus Sharp Ph.D., head of the Special Projects Labs (SPL), creates a new form of technology to augment humans through bionics. His first subject was Jack Bennett, a test pilot who secretly acted as Sharp’s field agent, Bionic-1. On a family ski vacation in the Himalayas, an alien spacecraft triggers an avalanche that buries the entire family, exposing them to the unusual radiation of a mysterious buried object. Jack frees himself but discovers his family in a comatose state. Theorizing that Jack’s bionics protected him from the radiation, Professor Sharp implants bionic technology in the others, awakening them. Afterward, the family operates incognito as a publicly lauded team of adventuring superheroes, the Bionic Six.

The Bennett family includes patriarch Jack, matriarch Helen, Eric, Meg, J.D., and Bunji. They live in a secluded oceanfront home in the fictional city of Cypress Cove, in northern California. Each member wears a special ring and a “wristcomp” (a mini-computer hardwired into the wrist), which they use to activate their bionic powers. The Bionic Six can also combine their powers by joining hands, creating a “Bionic Link” to amplify their abilities

The Bennett Family/Bionic Six

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Jack Bennett/Bionic-1 (voiced by John Stephenson): Expert test pilot. Bionic-1’s powers are mostly related to his bionic eyes (including “x-ray vision,” telescopic sight, energy blasts, and low-powered beams that temporarily cause electronic devices to malfunction or even turn against their users), and enhanced hearing (this last capability beyond even the powers of the other team members, who each possess superhuman levels of hearing in their own right).

Helen Bennett/Mother-1 (voiced by Carol Bilger): Jack’s wife, and oceanographer and marine biologist. Mother-1 possesses various ESP powers that allow her to occasionally see glimpses of the future, telepathically communicate with other sentient and non-sentient beings, determine the function and operation of mechanical devices by mentally “tracing” their internal workings, and can mentally project hologram-like optical illusions. She is also an accomplished fighter, having bested Dr. Scarab’s henchwoman Madame-O on the occasions when the two physically fought each other one-on-one.

Eric Bennett/Sport-1 (voiced by Hal Rayle): Jack and Helen’s athletic son. At local Albert Einstein High School, Eric is a shortstop on the baseball team, the Einstein Atoms. He routinely employs baseball vernacular in his dialogue. As Sport-1, he affects electromagnetic powers to attract or repel metallic objects with tremendous force, meld them together, or even rip them apart. This force is directional and – by varying the configuration of his hands, or by using one or both arms – Sport-1 can adjust the strength of attraction or repulsion. He can also use objects as he would a baseball bat, including steel beams, lampposts and other objects (including baseball bats) to redirect incoming objects and energy blasts; infused by the same field that comes from his arms, he can use those ordinarily fragile objects to hit and deflect things they normally could not. (In one instance, he used a steel beam to hit an incoming asteroid.)

Meg Bennett/Rock-1 (voiced by Bobbi Block):  Jack and Helen’s daughter and Eric’s younger sister. Meg is an excitable and somewhat ditsy teen who loves music. She is prone to habitual use of the future-slang phrase “So-LAR!” (comparable to “awesome”), as well as the prefixes “Mega-!” (as befitting her first name) and “Ultra-!” . As Rock-1, she can emit sonic beams from blaster units mounted on her shoulders – the blaster units are only visible when she assumes “bionic mode.” She can also run at blinding speeds, faster than other members of the team. (These can all run at superhuman speeds in their own right, though nowhere near as fast as she can.) Meg and her brother Eric are Jack’s and Helen’s sole biological offspring.

J.D. Bennett/IQ (voiced by Norman Bernard): Jack’s and Helen’s remarkably intelligent, adopted African-American son. As IQ, he has both super-human strength (he is even stronger than the other members of the team with super-human strength, making him the strongest member of the team) and super-intelligence. So this kid’s not only the brains of the team, but also the muscle? No ego problems there.

Bunjiro “Bunji” Bennett/Karate-1 (voiced by Brian Tochi): Jack and Helen’s Japanese foster son. He was placed under their guardianship after his own father disappeared 10 years earlier somewhere in the East. Bunji is an avid karate enthusiast. As Karate-1, he has enhanced martial arts skills, made more formidable when applying his bionics. As such, his agility levels surpasses that of his teammates, and his reflexes are among the sharpest, and only Rock-1’s reflexes surpass his, due to her super-speed.

F.L.U.F.F.I. (voiced by Neil Ross): a gorilla-like robot who lives as a housekeeper with the Bennetts. He regularly demonstrates a comical craving for aluminum cans that extends to casually devouring the Bennetts’s cookware, vehicles, or other metal objects. Despite his bungling behavior, he nonetheless proves helpful around the Bennett home, or assisting the Bionic Six with physical tasks in the field.

That’s an eclectic group, to say the least.

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Taste the Rainbow!

Trivia Time: In the German dub of Bionic Six, Bionic-1 and IQ were the only main characters to keep their original names. In Germany, Mother-1 is known as Bionic-2, Sport-1 is Baseball, Rock-1 is Rock and Roll and Karate-1 is Kamikaze.

Of course, with heroes comes the motley crew of villains (gotta sell those action figures, you know!)

The Villains 

Dr. Scarab: real name Dr. Wilmer Sharp Ph.D., who is Amadeus Sharp’s brother. Scarab is a hefty, egotistically brilliant and occasionally comical man who yearns for the secret to eternal life and world domination. His right eye has been modified with a monocle that has a low-powered scanner that can detect individuals with bionics, even when they are disguised, and a destructive, high-powered beam. In rare instances throughout the series, he seemingly demonstrates superhuman, bionic strength of his own (on at least one occasion, he picked up Mother-One effortlessly and threw her around; in another instance, he was seen carrying as much solid gold out of Fort Knox as his other bionic minions–several hundred pounds’ worth.)He was voiced by Jim MacGeorge, who imitated the voice of George C. Scott when providing that character voice.

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The doctor is in…sane!

Dr. Scarab has assembled a motley team of henchmen (described below), imbued with an apparently lesser form of the same bionic powers employed by the Bionic Six. (Another one of Scarab’s goals in the series is to try to figure out the secrets behind his brother’s superior bionics knowledge.)

team-scarab

“HAIL HYDRA!!….No, wait. ..COBRA!!!…No, that’s not it either….HAIL SCARAB!! Yeah, that’s the ticket!”

Glove is a purple-skinned villain named for his left-handed blaster glove which is capable of firing both beams and projectiles. He serves as the field leader in Scarab’s evil plans (hence made a frequent target for punishment for failures) and constantly vies to replace Dr. Scarab as leader.

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“hey, bud. I like your style!”

 

Although cunning and vicious, he tends to retreat at the first sign of defeat. His strength varies, as in some instances, he seems to be the equal of Bionic-1, while in one instance, he was able to physically overpower and dominate both Bionic-1 and Karate-1 at the same time. Glove was voiced by Frank Welker.

Madame-O is an enigmatic blue-skinned femme fatale who wears a full face mask and uses a harp-like weapon to fire sonic blasts. She has a verbal tic of ending many of her statements with the word “…darling.” While possessing super strength, she is not as strong as many of the other characters; Mother-1 was able to defeat her in physical struggles in various occasions. Before her transformation, she actually appeared to be an elderly woman. She was voiced by Jennifer Darling.

Mechanic is a dim-witted, childish brute who employs various mechanical tools as weapons – nail or rivet guns, throwing circular saw blades, using a large wrench as a bludgeon. Despite his short temper, he has a soft spot for animals and an engrossing fondness for (in-universe) children’s television cartoons. He was voiced by Frank Welker.

Chopper is a chain-wielding thug who articulates sounds mimicking a revving motorcycle. He is sometimes depicted riding a three-wheeled motorcycle vehicle. He, like both Mechanic and Glove, was voiced by Frank Welker. Coincidentally (or perhaps not), Frank Welker previously voiced another character named Chopper with exactly the same voice and “vocal mannerisms,” in a 1970s-era cartoon titled Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch.

chopper

Is it possible that this guy was able to undergo some sort of trans-species surgery? Who knows?

Klunk (voiced like Bionic-1 by John Stephenson) is a patchwork monstrosity who appears to be made of living glue, and who rarely speaks coherently. Immediately after his creation, Scarab noted to himself to “use a little less power next time.”While relatively unintelligent, he is considered one of the most dangerous opponents to engage in battle with, due to his unparalleled strength (his strength appears to surpass even that of I.Q, the strongest member of the Bionic Six), high resistance to physical attacks, and his gooey body’s ability to engulf his opponent – even Dr. Scarab fears him to some extent. Unlike the other minions of Dr. Scarab, he is (understandably) horrified by his own transformation and longs to be human again. Regarding Klunk’s appearance, I can’t put it any better than Red Dwarf‘s Cat:

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“He looks like something that dropped out of the Sphinx’s nose!”

Bionic Six‘s episode structure followed the rather predictable route: Bad guys cause trouble, good guys use their super powers to stop them. Bad guys vow that they’ll whup their butts next time. Wash, rinse, repeat. Furthermore, this was one of those shows where no one was ever able to make the connection that the Bennett family and the Bionic Six were one and the same, despite the fact that the Six’s super hero costumes didn’t cover their faces at all! “They were a nuclear family with two whites, a black and an Asian child, but that could have been anybody! You know how common those are!” In one episode, Eric (Sport-1) is on a date with a girl, Scarab causes some trouble where Eric and his date are, he excuses himself and returns as Sport-1 and his date asks “What happened to Eric?”

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Oh, come on! How could she not know that was Eric? Same hair! Same face! Same voice! He didn’t even take off his baseball cap! The Power Rangers at least wore helmets, fer cryin’ out loud!  The ordinary citizens of Cypress Cove must have all been either nearsighted or very stupid.

Another thing that I liked about Bionic Six is how, like the Fantastic Four before them, the Bennetts were an actual family. They weren’t put together like other teams. The were related, so they’d be living together and were dealing with one another even before they were given bionic super powers. Also, and this is something that I touched upon back in my CC post for Miles From Tomorrowland, I like how Mother-1 (Jack’s wife Helen) was a full fledged member of the team. She wasn’t just the secretary or something lame like that. Helen was a career woman and an equal member of the team. She didn’t just stay home and make dinner while her husband and kids were off saving the world, nor was she conspicuously absent for no reason (in your face, Transformers Rescue Bots!). The main thing about the show that I don’t particularly agree with (aside from the kids being 3 boys and only 1 girl) is that I don’t think that J.D. (IQ) needed to be the physically strongest member of the team. Having off-the-charts super genius intelligence is super power enough. If the writers wanted J.D. to have some visually stunning effect, just have him do the occasional brain blast or something like that.

Bionic Six only ran for one full season in syndication, but the series did spawn a line of action figures, so there’s that.

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One thing that the Bionic Six was lacking, however, was their own flying HQ. The Helicarrier remains awesome!

2 Funny: Space Ghost Coast to Coast – Hungry

This one’s going out to C. Martin Croker, who voiced Zorak and Moltar on Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Sadly, Mr. Croker passed away last week at age 54, so in his memory, I’m showing one of the funnier episodes of SG:C2C. Here’s “Hungry”. R.I.P, C. Martin Croker.

2 Funny: Low Tide – Dance Guitar Dance

One of the funnier recurring segments on the late Fuel TV sketch comedy series Stupidface was a cartoon from Mike Hollingsworth called Low Tide, detailing the simple adventures, rendered in a very simplistic art style (the characters and backgrounds looked like notebook doodles come to life), of a trio slacker sea life buddies: Brian, an upbeat starfish, Friz, a somewhat snarky jellyfish (in reality, jellyfish are a collective species with no eyes, hearts or brains, but we’re going by cartoon rules here) and Herman, a slow-witted whale. Think SpongeBob Squarepants for slackers. On today’s 2 Funny, the guys head for the underwater arcade so Friz and Brain can square off on Dance Dance Hero and Guitar Revolution (nobody’s getting sued here). Here’s “Dance Guitar Dance”.

On Stupidface‘s second season, Hollingsworth made another series of animated shorts called Nature Break, which featured more intricate animation, but were more random and not as funny; Low Tide was definitely better.

Player Two Start: Marvel VS Capcom Stages

Today’s Player Two Start looks at Marvel VS Capcom.

marvel_vs_capcom

LET’S GO CRAZY!

For those who don’t know, Marvel VS Capcom: Clash of Super Heroes  is a crossover fighting game developed and published by Capcom. It is the third installment in the Marvel vs. Capcom series, which features characters from Capcom’s video game franchises and comic book series published by Marvel Comics. The game debuted in Japanese arcades in January 1998. It was ported to the Dreamcast and PlayStation, which were released from 1999 through 2000. The game was re-released in 2012 for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 as part of the Marvel vs. Capcom Origins collection.

Players select a team of characters from the Marvel and Capcom universes to engage in combat and attempt to knock out their opponents. In contrast to the series’ previous entry, Marvel Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter, the game features characters from numerous Capcom video game franchises, rather than strictly Street Fighter characters. While the gameplay is largely identical to its predecessor, Clash of Super Heroes features two distinct changes: the removal of the traditional character assist system and the introduction of the “Variable Cross” attack.

The selectable Capcom characters were Ryu (with the ability to switch to ‘Ken Mode’ and ‘Akuma Mode’ to make up for those characters not being chosen for the game…)

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It DIDN’T make up for it!”

…Chun-Li, Captain Commando, Strider Hiryu, Rockman/Mega Man (freakin’ MEGA MAN! This was back when Marvel still gave a crap about Rockman), Jin Saotome, Morrigan and Zangief, while on the Marvel side we had Captain America, Spider-Man, Hulk, Wolverine, Gambit, Venom and War Machine. There were also a bevvy of Strikers who could be chosen to run across the screen lending a hand temporarily, including Thor, Juggernaut, Jubilee, Psylocke, Arthur (from Ghouls ‘n’ Ghosts), Michelle Heart (from Legendary Wings), Devilot & Dr. Stein, Pure & Fur and others, making for a total of 52 characters in all. The final boss of the game was Onslaught, who was the combined negative energy of Prof. and Magneto or a manifestation of their combined ids or the result of a bad plate of ribs they ate or something; it tied into some multi-issue event Marvel was doing at the time, comics are weird.

Intro time:

Now that we’ve gone sufficiently crazy, the Versus games sported too many characters for each one to have their own specific stage, so they typically just had a finite set of interesting ones. MvC in particular had 9 stages in all (10 counting the Final Boss stage), each of them unique in their own way. Today Videots takes a look at each of them. NOTE: These won’t be in any particular order, so I won’t be numbering them.

NEO ST. PETERSBURG

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This is Strider Hiryu’s home stage, taking place in the first stage from his first game, St. Petersburg.

The stage is set in the red platforms from the initial area, overlooking the capital city and their various mosque buildings while several searchlights waves around in the background, much like in the original game. Original for this game is the inclusion of a zeppelin floating up in the center of the stage, bearing the Kazakh Federation’s half-star symbol, which is also present in three buildings.

Two laser signs can be seen at times in the sky: the first writes “Казахскар CCP” a misspelling of “Казахская CCP” (Russian for “Kazakh SSR”), while the second writes intermittently “A.D. 2048” and “Санкций” (Russian for “sanctions”). The first two are direct references to the intro scroll that opens up the Arcade’s first stage, while the third word is original for this game. The Third Moon can also be spotted high up in the sky, in front of the real moon.

yakov

“In Neo St. Petersburg, ninja throwing stars impale YOU!”

LIVE HOUSE OF THE DARK REALM

mvc-stage2-live-house-of-the-dark-realm

It’s creepy and it’s kooky, mysterious and spooky…

The stage takes place inside a worn-out live house, with the zombie Lord Raptor (aka Zabel Zarock) playing guitar on the stage while two punk skeletons are headbanging to his music and two skulls in the table are opening and closing their mouths while watching. (Also I just now noticed that freaky neon face above the door. Eeeehhh…) In the last round, ghosts approach the defeated fighter. This is considered Morrigan’s home stage. Morrigan’s and Gambit’s endings take place in this stage. (I know Gambit’s been known to hang out in some seedy dives, but I’ve never figured he’d be the type to rock out with spooks. Well, he is from Voodoo country, after all.)

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“Hey, you reek of blood and defeat. Tasty! Feeding time, boys!”

ROOFTOP OF THE DAILY BUGLE

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Spider-Man, Spider-Man, fights wherever a spider can…

This stage takes place in New York City, between the rooftops of the Daily Bugle (with the first three letters from its name visible) and a neighbor building, webs connecting the two to avoid the fighters from falling. The background has several buildings, the most notable being the Baxter Building. This is considered the home stage of Spider-Man and Venom. My favorite part of this stage is the Baxter Building/Four Freedoms Plaza, the HQ of the Fantastic Four, in the background.

mister-fantastic-reed-richards

“Greetings. Reed Richards, aka Mr. Fantastic here. I just wanted to pop in here and mention to any prospective filmmakers out there that my team, the Fantastic Four, is still available should anyone be interested in making a Hollywood blockbuster movie about us, just as long as 20th Century Fox stays as far away from it as humanly possible!”

AVENGERS HEADQUARTERS

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Some Assembling Required

This stage takes place inside the Avengers Mansion, with the Avengers Support Crew monitoring several screens. Psylocke, Magneto, Storm and Wolverine appear in some of the screens. (All X-Men, as it happens.)

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“I’m keeping an eye on those super-freaks! Oooooh, I hate mutants! I hate all metahumans!”

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“We super-freaks aren’t crazy about you either!”

In Captain Commando’s ending, an Avengers Crew contacts the Avengers to tell them that Onslaught was defeated. Captain Commando appears in the screen and says that he and his team took care of him. Similar to the ending from his game, the Avengers Crew asks who he is, and he says “I am Captain Commando”.

In Captain America’s ending, he is in the HQ with the Capcom characters and explains that Onslaught was the embodiment of the dark emotions of Professor X and Magneto, and his conscience summoned heroes to stop him. With Onslaught’s demise, the Capcom heroes return to their world and Captain America salutes them.

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“SAAAA-LUTE!”

DR. WILY’S MILITARY BASE

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This stage takes place inside one of Dr. Wily’s many secret bases, with the mad, mad, mad scientist walking around and angrily yelling to the fighters with a megaphone. In the background there is a Metall Potton with several Mettaurs, giant Killer Bullets, Baccones, Mad Grinder, and Dark Man 1 moving back and forth carrying a damaged sack. This is considered the home stage of Mega Man and Roll. Speaking of Megs, one little touch I always liked is when Mega Man delivers the final blow, you’ll hear the signature “You Got a New Weapon” tune from his games instead of the usual Victory music.

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“Geez, how many of of this guy’s robot masters do I have to take out before this nut-cake gets the point? Shade Man? Wood Man? Search Man? Clown Man? I think Wily’s running out of ideas at this point!”

roll

“Seriously bro, when are you gonna let me borrow your Mega Buster? For once I’d like to clean house figuratively instead of literally! I’ve gotta talk to Dr. Light about an upgrade!”

BLUE AREA OF THE MOON

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This stage takes place in the Blue Area of the Moon, an artificial, Earth-like environment in the Moon containing the ruins of the Inhuman city of Attilan and the citadel of Uatu the Watcher. The background contains some alien ruins and an old American flag. The blue planet Earth is visible far away. Ryu’s ending takes place in this stage, where he starts training Sean.

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Hey, Dark Side of the Moon. You knew someone was going to say it!

HEADQUARTERS OF EVIL

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Boo! Hiss!

This stage takes place in the headquarters of an unknown evil group. In the background, the Forgotten Worlds bosses Whodin and Laidin are holding an Earth and a Moon, and in the top center in a gigantic version of the evil god Bios.

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The stage also has many other unknown characters that were apparently created for this game.

Chun-Li’s ending takes place in this stage, where she tries to face M. Bison but is defeated by him, and he plans to make her a member of Shadaloo (This stage presumably having links with the organization). Fortunately, Shadow appears and saves her.

lex_luthor_superfriends

“Say, I like that design. I’m going to start holding our Legion of Doom meetings via Skype from now on. Solomon Grundy’s got a weird odor, and when Gorilla Grodd isn’t crossing his legs, I can see his junk!”

THE CLIFF OF DESOLATION

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This stage takes place in a cliff at an unknown location. As the rounds pass, the stage changes from day to sunset and to night with lightning.

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“Oh, wowsy-wowsy-woo-woo. Miserable stage, isn’t it?”

HONDA’S BATHHOUSE

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“I see London, I see France, I see….eeeww.”

This stage takes place in E. Honda’s bathhouse in Japan, his stage from Street Fighter II. This stage has 2 parts: the guy’s bathhouse, which you see here, and if you scroll to the right and manage to break the wall…

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…You get to see inside the ladies’ bathhouse. Rowr-rowr!

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“Don’t give me that look! The bathhouse is a respected piece of my country’s culture! We don’t just use it as an excuse to get naked and ogle hot bods…well, not entirely.”

So there you have it. My little tribute to Marvel VS Capcom‘s stages.

rockman-thumbs-up

YOU GOT AWESOME VIDEO GAME MEMORY FAN-WANKING

What The Funny #1: Rocko’s Happy Sack

Nickelodeon recently revealed that the studio is working on an original hour long TV special based on one of it’s popular animated series, Rocko’s Modern Life. Series creator Joe Murray is involved in it’s production.

rocko_title_card

“That was a hoot!”

So to mark this occasion, I thought it might be fun to pay tribute to my favorite Nicktoon by covering some of my favorite Rocko shorts in a new mini series segment (inspired by Chris Stuckmann’s Hilariocity and Alison Pregler’s Baywatching) which I’m calling What The Funny. Here’s how it’ll work: Basically, I’m going to profile a short that I like, give a brief synopsis of said short and then break down the funniest moments from it.

Now, you’re probably asking me to yourself…

question-block

Don’t you already have a segment like this? Isn’t this Cartoon Country?

Not exactly. Cartoon Country is a grab bag; the cartoon that’s  presented on CC is something different every time. What The Funny, by contrast, only focuses on a single cartoon, studio or franchise and has more than a single post devoted to it. Before we begin, let me explain the rules here:

  1. I’m not going to be covering the entire series! Rocko’s Modern Life ran for four seasons and doing every single episode would take up too much of my time. I don’t like every episode equally and if I were doing WTFs for the next couple of months, then it would start to feel like a job and I would hate it. I’m just doing this for fun.
  2. I’m going to cover each short individually, rather than covering them by half hour episodes. Also, I won’t be  covering them in any particular order.
  3. I’ll be doing this in addition to the other segments, not instead of them. I’ll still be writing Cartoon Country, The Cartoon Couch, The Retro Bin, Beyond the background, etc.
  4. I won’t be doing these all in a row. There are only going to be about 3, 4 or at the most 5 of these and I’d prefer to spread them out. Variety is the spice of life.
  5. When I say “the best” shorts, I’m not judging them in terms of popularity or critical acclaim; These are just my personal favorites. You may have some favorites that didn’t make my list…
stuart-smalley

“…And that’s, OK.”

…but since this is my blog,  we’re only going to focus on my personal pics.

mr-mackey

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here we go with What The Funny!:

Rocko’s Happy Sack

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PREMISE

In this episode Rocko and Spunky hurry to the local grocery store to take advantage of a big 99% off everything sale.

The short starts with Rocko and Spunky at home with absolutely zero food in the house. Even the bugs are holding up “Will work for food” signs. There’s also a mouse skeleton that looks suspiciously like that of Mickey Mouse. Unfortunately, Rocko has only three dollars until pay day. Rocko and Spunky’s hunger sustains and they mope in depression. When Rocko views a 99% off everything sale at the Heap-O-Food market in the newspaper, he and Spunky hurry up and drive to the market before twelve o’clock (the time when the big sale ends).

HIGHLIGHTS

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I love this display. It was great how Joe Murray and his team was able to slip stuff like under the radar.

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I don’t know if this guy is supposed to be an actual lava man or just a guy in a costume (whith this show, you can never be sure), but the first time that I saw him, I was instantly reminded of the oddball creatures from the movie “Yellow Submarine”.

Spunky follows a (living) piece of liver into the meat packing room, where he’s wrapped up in put on display, and then promptly picked up by another customer (voiced by Charles Adler). Upon discovering this, Rocko tries to dissuade the guy from purchasing his dog.

Rocko: Dog meat?? Eeeww! Sir, do you know that dog meat causes you to be…irregular?

Customer: I’ll take my chances.

Rocko: But dog meat contains trace amounts of PCPs, CBCs and BVDs!

Customer: I like PCPs.

And that’s funny because PCP is a drug, CBC is the initials of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation and BVD is popular brand of men’s underwear.

Rocko then explains that when fishermen hunt for dog meat, how the sea mammals accidentally get caught in the fishermen’s nets, and then we get the following exchange:

Rocko finally goes to the checkout line. The cashier is Filburt (who at this point in the series hasn’t yet been made into Rocko’s friend. Here, they act as if they don’t know each other). The clock literally ticks down to the final second (after Filburt  requests a price check on Frog Butter – “Is Frog Butter dairy or hygiene?”). The price is checked at $1.50, but then a second later, it changes to $150.00. Then Rocko becomes enraged and goes into one of my all time favorite meltdowns:

Filburt: And your total is…
(The cash register shows “$1.50”)
Rocko: Phew!
(The total suddenly increases)
Filburt: One hundred and fifty dollars. Gee, looks like you just missed our big sale. Have a nice day.

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(Rocko grits his teeth and gets bombs in his eyes)
Rocko: YOU CHEAP LITTLE ROTTER!!!!!!! I have been run over by a car, made to drag around a gimp shopping cart, threatened by your Gestapo security guards, had me head set on fire, I was attacked by wild lobsters, beaten by a very LARGE woman, had me dog wrapped in plastic, nearly starved to death and I still made the twelve o’clock deadline! So if you don’t change that total back to a dollar fifty, I WILL DO SOMETHING NOT NICE!!!!!!!!!!!

Filburt: That’ll be one dollar and fifty cents please.

When Rocko loads the trunk of his car with the food he purchased, he tells Spunky that sometimes, marketing day can be a very dangerous day. After closing the trunk, he drives home and rides through a speed bump, the impact of which causes the food to fall out of the trunk as Rocko, oblivious to this, continues driving.

THOUGHTS

This is one of my all time favorite Rocko shorts. Rocko doesn’t lose it very often, so when he does, it usually hilarious. I can relate to Rocko’s situation and I was glad to see him force someone to follow his order for once.  I also love Heap-O-Food’s sale with everything being 99% of until noon. Cartoon logic is crazy, but great.

My rating: 5 out of 5.

Next time: Carnival Knowledge. Stay funny.