This is another song that I’m currently groovin’ with. Interestingly, I discovered this one by accident. This song came already installed on my current mp3 player when I first bought it, and I just happened to hear it while I had it playing in while I was driving. I liked the song and began listening to it more often. I finally saw the video for it last week, and it’s weird. I don’t get the video, frankly, but the song is decent. It makes me remember those animated one-shot half hour specials produced by the Canadian animation studio Nelvana from the 1980s for some reason. Here’s “Paradise” by Coldplay. Enjoy.
Category Nerdvana
Nerdvana: Wild Cartoon Kingdom (Revisited)
Hey, remember that Wild Cartoon Kingdom Nerdvana Goldstar did back in December? We’ll we liked that so much that we’re going back to that savage land.
Today I have an idea for big budgeted animated movie set on a wild tropical jungle (think Swiss Family Robinson meets Donkey Kong Country meets Jurassic Park), and I already have the perfect title for it….
Eat or Get Ate: A Family Movie.
Eat or Get Ate takes place on this untamed tropical jungle island whose major abundant resources are bananas and savage beasts. The island is called Terratopia. (Yeah, I know there was already a book series with that name, but kids don’t read anymore so nobody will remember it.)
Terratopia is teeming with crazy primates. And I know the perfect theme for the soundtrack:
“Crazy, man. That was an ORANGUTAN JOKE!”
The island itself is extremely large and has drastically different climates in various areas, including jungle, beach, ocean, grasslands, bayou, frozen wasteland, and desert. There are several mysterious ruins on the island primarily resembling ancient South American architecture, so Cusco can perform the soundtrack. In addition to apes, Terratopia has a variety of critters living on it:
Rampaging rhinos! Enormous elephants! Brightly colored birds! Giant spiders with sneakers! Snakes! Frogs! (including the poisonous variety!) Whales! Dolphins! And since Terratopia has a frozen wasteland area, let’s throw in some penguins as well. People like penguins.
“Eh, OK. We’re in. Quite frankly, Dreamworks could use a hit!”
Yes, there’s a wintry area, but horn-dogs need not worry: thanks to a climate anomaly or ancient magic or lazy writing or whatever, the natives of Terratopia are incapable of feeling cold, so they can go barefoot in the snow.
“Feet. Yeah…heh..heh…hehe…oh yeah…heh..heh..feet…hehehe..yeah…”
Thought you’d like that. Moving on…
Our movie’s protagonists are a family of nature documentary makers who somehow wind up on this savage land. Similar to The Wild Thornberrys….
…only not boring and with more fan service.
“Dat’s cool! I like dat. With the waterfalls, an’ the RV an’ the cameras an’ the wild animals an’ the apes and the loincloths and the bare feet..”
Yeah, we’ve covered that, but glad you like it. While we’re at it, let’s add some friendly dinosaurs onto the island…
…In every color of the rainbow. Kids’ll eat them up. They’ll look great as Happy Meal toys.
But of course there are also threats on the island, hey it wouldn’t be the wild without things waiting to snap you up like endless breadsticks. There can be diabolical floating tiki masks…
“We’re gonna put the voodoo on you!”
..which can only be contained and controlled by a wily witch doctor…
“Who do voodoo? I do voodoo!”
And if we’re going to have cute toyetic dinosaurs, we might as well also have some of the man-eating variety.
“Come to Terratopia, humans. Where you don’t have to slather yourselves in creamy ranch sauce, but it wouldn’t hurt!”
OK, there’s still some little details to work out, you know, like plot, but I think we’ve got a movie.
“I like it! But say, how about we change the lead characters to the cast of ‘Jessie’? And maybe throw Chip ‘n’ Dale in there too, since we’re thinking of making a sequel to that ‘Rescue Rangers’ movie that hasn’t come out yet. We could also make it a team-up with Ultimate Spider-Man, and get One Direction to do the soundtrack. Say, we could make this a ride at Disney World, and have the dinosaurs sing “Walk the Dinosaur” in 80 different languages again and again and again…”
“Do you mind if I eat this guy?”
Knock yourself out.
Nerdvana: Street Spirit (Fade Out) by Radiohead
Yes, this is another musical Nerdvana; this time it’s one of my favorite 90’s songs, “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” by the band Radiohead. Despite being described by band member/songwriter Thom Yorke as “one of the saddest songs ever written….about a dark tunnel with no light at the end”, I guess I sort of tune out the lyrics, since I never associate this song with bleakness and darkness; rather I focus of the song’s overall beauty and the dreamlike quality of the video, so my memories and imagery of this song are actually pleasant and whimsical.
Interestingly, and probably because I was first exposed to both around the same time, in my mind “Street Spirit” is inexorably tied to the Oh, Yeah! Cartoons short The Twins Crimson and Those Amazing Robots by Carlos Ramos. In fact, if played together the 2 almost sync up. Try it sometime.
Nerdvana: Cookin’ with Toons
Today’s Nerdvana is all about food products. Specifically those appetizing food products that you see in cartoons and wonder what they’d taste like in real life. First up, Krabby Patties.
They make them look so good on the show, I’m sure at some point we’ve all wondered what these things actually taste like.
“I know I have! Inquiring minds want to know. Kindly speak into my left antenna, which isn’t concealing a hidden recorder at all.”
I’m surprised that no major seafood franchise like Red Lobster or Long John Silver’s hasn’t capitalized on this and manufactured actual Krabby Patties to sell as some sort of promotion. It practically sells itself. Of course, they may have had second thoughts after learning the truth…
Still hungry? Let’s move on to another popular animated delicacy, Smurfberries.
“Smurfberries? I LOVE Smurfberries! Smurfberry pie, Smurfberry cake, Smurfberry pudding, Smurfberry tarts, Smurfberry muffins, Smurfberry donuts, Smurfberry shakes…”
“A question: given that the Smurfs were originally created by the wizard Homnibus, which came first, the Smurfs or the Smurfberries? Were the Smurfberries named after the Smurfs, or were the Smurfs named after the Smurfberries?”
Save it for Talkin’ Nerdy, Prof. But here’s a fun factoid: did you know that Post cereals actually made a food product with Smurfberries? It was called Smurf Berry Crunch.
Here’s an ad:
Ah, so Smurfberries are basically Crunchberries. That answers that. Moving on…
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Scooby Snacks. One of the great mysteries of the universe: what the heck are Scooby Snacks and why do Scooby and Shaggy crave them so badly? (I remember there being Shaggy Snacks in one episode.) If Scoob’s name is on the product, does he get paid royalties for them or do he and Shag get to nosh on them for free? In Shaggy and Scooby-Doo Get a Clue! (aka “the Scooby show WB doesn’t talk about anymore”) the Scooby Snacks were enhanced by advanced nanotechnology, granting the duo temporary superpowers; I wondered what those tasted like?
“Well, like, one pack of them gave me laser eye beams and Scoob super speed, then we like blacked out, and we woke up in Atlantic City next to a nude Ken doll. Scoob had swallowed an entire saxophone and I found out I was married to Kiyone from Tenchi Muyo! Man, that was one hot crazy summer!”
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To say that C.H. Greenblatt’s late Cartoon Network series Chowder was hit or miss is putting it mildly, but I did and still do think the show had some fun and interesting concepts, and that if done correctly, a show built around cooking and dishes could make for an interesting series, or maybe just one interesting element in a series. Among the items mentioned on the show was Thrice Cream.
I like this product not only because it was, according to the show’s title character, “The life giver and source of all that is creamy and good!” but also because its’ name incorporates the word thrice, which we’re trying to bring back into everyday usage.
Chowder has also given us the No-Fruit.
No-Fruit was a bizarre fruit which resembled a block of tofu with a leafy stem on top. In this state it tasted like literally nothing, but when its’ stem was pulled, it would begin transforming lightning fast into a wide assortment of fruits. A skilled chef would then have to strike the No-Fruit, Whack-A-Mole style, to land on whichever fruit he/she required. When morphed into another fruit, the No-Fruit would taste like the freshest and most delicious form of said fruit. Let’s get on this, genetic scientists!
Hmm, I wonder if No-Fruit could simulate a Smurfberry?
“Smurfberries? I LOVE Smurfberries! Smurfberry pancakes, Smurfberry waffles, Smurfberry biscuits, Smurfberry parfaits, Smurfberry burgers, Smurfberry tacos, Smurfberry pizza, Smurfberry lasagna, Smurfberry soup, Smurfberry noodles…”
-Check, please!
Nerdvana: Wild Cartoon Kingdom
Today I’m going to talk about one animated setting that I’ve been geeking out about lately: The wild. The savage untamed world of the jungle and of pre-history.
The Savage Land – Come in and get eaten.
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Before I begin, I’d like to make it clear that I definitely am not talking about The Flintstones. Don’t get me wrong; I know that The Flintstones is a pop culture icon and I understand the show’s influence and it’s impact on the world of modern animation, but the fact of the matter is that The Flintstones barely took advantage of the fact that it took place during the Stone Age. I get that The Flintstones was basically The Honeymooners in animated form and I’m OK with the occasional anachronism , but my feeling is that if you’re going to modernize things that much, you might as well set your series in the Present Day. Despite the prehistoric setting, The Flintstones was about as savage as a Tupperware party and therefore the series doesn’t fit my description of a “wild cartoon kingdom”. Having said that, beyond this crop of sentences, I won’t be discussing The Flintstones here at all.
See ya, Fredso!
No, when I say “wild kingdom”, I’m not just talking about incorporating rock puns in all of the characters’ names. I’m talking about the real Wild Kingdom. Where everything is wild and untamed. Modern conveniences are few and far between, and there’s no phones, no light and no motorcars…except maybe for this one.
Let’s start with a music video to set the proper mood:
I’m talking about the kind of society where there are still tribes and rituals and predators most of the animals are savage rather than being domesticated. When talking about dinosaurs, they don’t mean like this guy…
“Howdy-Hoo, Kideroos!”
.
…but this guy!
Twin Images 
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