Why Big Barda is Awesome!

Big Barda3

  1. She’s big, all right.
  2. Her physical appearance was based on Lainie Kazan, who had recently appeared topless in Playboy. Bom-Chicka-Wow-Wow!
  3. She’s married to Mister Miracle, and in a reversal of the stereotype associated with female characters at the time of her creation, Barda is physically more powerful than her husband, Mister Miracle, and very protective of him. Anyone who thinks that wives can’t kick ass has obviously never been married.
  4. The characterization between Barda  and Scott ‘Mister Miracle’ Free was based largely—though with tongue in cheek—on the interplay between Kirby and his wife Roz. If Kirby is the King of Comics, then hail to the Queen, baby.
  5. The name Big Barda is just fun to say.
  6. She was a member of the future Justice League in the Batman Beyond timeline, though as a last-minute replacement for Wonder Woman, who couldn’t be used at the time. Speaking of…
  7. Her skill and strength is such that she has fought Wonder Woman to a draw.
  8. She’s a flippin’ New God.
  9. She was born on Apokolips, but later reformed and moved to Supertown, which also fun to say.
  10. She possesses immense superhuman strength that puts her into the same strength class as Superman and Wonder Woman, and is also highly resistant to blunt force trauma, temperature and pressure extremes, and is partially bulletproof. Work it, sister.
  11. Her Apokoliptan physiology prevents her from aging and makes her immune to disease. 365 is the new 30.
  12. She wields a high tech weapon of Apokoliptan origins called a “Mega-Rod.” The rod is capable of producing extremely powerful concussive bolts capable of felling beings as durable as Superman, allows Barda to teleport herself and others long distances, can increase gravitational forces, and can be used as an indestructible club in melee combat. Shoot, who needs pepper spray?
  13. She has access to other forms of Fourth World technology, including Aero-Discs that allow her to defy gravity and fly, Apokoliptan battle armor that augments her already impressive durability, and a Mother Box, which she can use to create Boom Tubes for transportation over long distances and between dimensions. Much cooler than those lame so-called ‘hoverboards’ which don’t actually hover and have wheels. Those things are just Segways without the handles!
  14. She has 2 main costumes: her battle armor (above) and for more relaxed times, this little number:
Big Barda2

Do I really need to say ‘Bom-Chicka-Wow-Wow’ again?

Why Miss Martian is Awesome!


  1. She’s a Martian. Space aliens are automatically cool.
  2. She’s the niece of J’onn J’onzz, aka The Martian Manhunter. So she got her through nepotism. What of it?
  3. She’s green, and green women are hot. This was proven years ago on Star Trek.
  4. She can fly.
  5. Her outfit resembles a Japanese schoolgirl’s sailor suit. I like that.
  6. She has a cheerful and upbeat attitude, despite the fact that it’s not easy being green.
  7. She can wipe someone’s mind clean like a dirty ashtray. Not that she would do that, but it’s cool to know that you could.
  8. For some reason, I really like that she has freckles.
  9. Her civilian name is M’gann M’rzz. Imagine someone having to write that name on a value club card.
  10. That adorable mini skirt.
  11. She once dated Superboy (Kon El).
  12. She can shapeshift. Anyone who can assume the form of a dragon is OK in my book!

Why Jumpy Ghostface is Awesome!

  1. He’s a cute bunny who’s also a formidable warrior. We like adorable things capable of kicking ass.
  2. He’s the only animal on a squad of human heroes. That’s it, boyo, climb the ladder.
  3. His weapon of choice is a jump rope. A WMD from Wham-O.
  4. His last name is the first name of a member of the Wu-Tang Clan and the killer from the Scream movies.
  5. He’s the Rabbit King. Not as good as being the Lizard King, but still, it’s good to see a Royal who doesn’t mind mixing with the common folk.
  6. He manages to be adorable despite having absolutely no lower jaw.
  7. He can wrap his ears around his face to replicate a ninja mask. See? Form does accord with function.
  8. He lives in a giant tortoise shell and rides atop a small turtle on a treadmill. Paybacks are hell.
  9. He’s a daydreamer and his daydreams are capable of sucking you into his imagination. It’s all in the mind, man.
  10. He often has a carrot in his mouth. As Bugs Bunny will attest, at the end of the day a little carrot between your cheek and gum tastes mighty good.
  11. He has a soft spot for insects and won’t let any harm come to them.

“Good, good.”

Why Grumpy Bear is Awesome!

  1. He’s taken it upon himself to be the edgy, brooding Care Bear.
  2. He finds the other Care Bears’ bright cheerful dispositions to be just as annoying as we do.
  3. He’s turned griping into a fine art.
  4. He’s dusty blue, a nice shade.
  5. In Care Bears: Adventures in Care-A-Lot, he was voiced by Scott McNeil.
  6. He once worked as an inventor, so he likes working with BIG TOOLS!
  7. He’s uttered phrases such as “Bumbling Blizterbugs!” and “Typhonic Typhoons!” un-ironically.
  8. Like the late, great Johnny Cash, he walks the line.
  9. He’s living proof that even the world of cutesy plush toys has a dark side.
  10. He once complained about having nothing to complain about.
  11. He can stand being around Baby Hugs and Baby Tugs for longer than 2 minutes (Trust us, that’s an achievement!)
  12. That stylin’ rain cloud Belly Badge (that sounds better than “Tummy Symbol”)
  13. He’s cute, just don’t ever let him hear you say that.

Why Vixen is Awesome!

Vixen 4

  1. She’s among the small but eclectic number of non-white superheroes. Represent.
  2. She’s a supermodel. Hawt.
  3. She’s of native African ancestry. Foreign often translates to exotic.
  4. Catsuits, baby, catsuits.
  5. She’s one of the few female capes who’s a heroine in her own right, not just an extension of a male hero. Word, sista.
  6. Her powers are mystical in origin. It’s maaaaaagic!
  7. She can channel the powers of animals: strength of a lion, weight of an elephant, speed of a cheetah, night vision of a cat, echo-location of a dolphin, tracking ability of a wolf, etc. The skills of the entire animal kingdom without that annoying zoo smell.
  8. She once dated John Stewart–not the host of The Daily Show, although that would REALLY be awesome.
  9. She’s getting her own animated web series online. There’s your plug, DC, now pay us.